The only explanation for the collaboration of Larry the Cable Guy and Tyler Perry is that they know how much it will upset me. It can't be in the name of art, nor can it be in the name of business, because I'm comfortable stereotyping both performers' fans as hating one another.

Nonetheless, it's happening, so I must just make my peace with it. And it's a Madea movie. A Christmas Madea movie.

The film will be released like a plague of locusts on December 13th, which should give audiences ample time for a vigorous bleach scrub before regrouping and celebrating the actual, non-Larry the Cable Guy Christmas.

Ugh. This is how we greet a new day.