Remember how just this weekend you were complaining that there aren't enough gratuitous, contrived sequels for mediocre horror films? Well, a benevolent God has answered your prayers and will be tossing a whole grip of The Amityville Horror sequels and such at you in the coming years.

First up is The Amityville Horror: The Lost Tapes, which, as the name suggests, will adhere to the popular "found footage" format that kind of, sort of made us like Cloverfield. Daniel Farrands will serve as director, as well as co-writer. Because this movie probably won't be very good, The Weinstein Company will probably be able to meet their proposed release date of Jan. 27th, 2012.

Geek Tyrant states the film's plot thusly:
"The story will follow on an ambitious female television news intern, who is on the verge of breaking the most famous haunted house case in the world. She leads a team of journalists, clergymen and paranormal researchers into an investigation of the bizarre events that will come to be known as The Amityville Horror, only to unwittingly open a door to the unreal that she may never be able to close."

Though it isn't explicit, I'm inferring the door that the journalist opens is a metaphorical one, and not a literal, though I would gladly pay matinee-ticket prices to see a movie about a girl trying to close a giant door for 85 minutes.