THE ALF CGI FILM IS A GO! NO TIME TO TALK! JUST READ!

Thursday, August 9 by
That's our ALF!!!! *collapses into ball, cries* 

Pet owners, lock up your cats!

To be clear, that was just a colorful introduction to this article. Your cats are fine, and if you try to lock them up in a cage or travel bag, they will scratch the shit out of you.

For the 98% of you either too young or too old to get the joke, this adaptation is for you. You see, ALF wants to eat cats. Had you not gleaned that from the short-lived late-80′s NBC sitcom, you’ll be able to enjoy the entire mythology and ALF origin story with a CGI film that explains how ALF came to Earth from Melmac and how he ended up with a terribly boring family in suburban Nowheresville, USA. It’s gonna be directed by the guy who did the recent Smurfs film, so that’s a big plus for cinemaphiles everywhere.

ALF voice actor Paul Fusco HAS signed on as the voice of the alien, so all you ALF traditionalists can rest easy.

You weirdos.

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