That Lewd Film ‘Time Bandits’ Is Finally Getting Remade For Children

Thursday, March 31 by

Handmade Films likes the idea of Time Bandits, but wants to do away with all the objectionable content that kept as many as twelve families from seeing it during its original release in 1981. If you can’t remember what made the original family-unfriendly (family adversarial?), thank God we have Handmade Films around to sanitize the hell out of the mildly eccentric original. For instance, focus groups show that midgets upset toddlers age 30-42 months, so expect the midgets to be replaced with Shetland ponies or robots or something.

It was announced today that the original will be remade, but with a more overt appeal to families than the original had. Which means it should be blander and sacrifice uniqueness for a more general appeal. Aren’t you glad it’s being remade?

It’s unlikely Terry Gilliam will be involved in the reboot, as he has shown a willingness to try new and daring things, a philosophy that may be at odds with a sanitized reboot of a film he’s already made. Just a hunch. (Variety)

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