Test Audiences Aren’t Loving Darren Aronofsky’s ‘Noah’, Which Is Probably A Good Thing

Wednesday, October 16 by
And God said unto thee, "Use thy staff to smite paparazzi that may lie between Spago's front door and the valet stand."  

Struck with collective amnesia when it comes to the last Noah-centered summer film, Evan Almighty, Paramount handed esteemed director the keys to the castle for Noah, a $125 million film about a guy and a boat.

Though it’s not quite done, three hilariously stereotypical test audiences have voiced criticisms of the film. Seriously, a New York focus group represented the Jewish swath, Arizona, the Christians, and Orange County, the “general” audiences. That is to say, Godless and secular.

Maybe they were upset that Noah is being portrayed by a man who once beat a hotel worker with a phone (Mr. Russell Crowe) or maybe they don’t like that some of the angels are portrayed with no wings and six arms when the Bible clearly states that they have two arms, two wings, non-oily skin, and good, but not great, teeth.

In any event, the film is more or less shot, so the studio is left with the decision of giving Aronofsky the final cut or if they want to take it from him and give the angels little halos and rabbit friends.


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