Taylor Lautner Is Going To Jail

Thursday, December 9 by

"Not beanie-weenie again."

They’re going to love Taylor Lautner in prison. He’s just been sentenced to star in Incarceron. The dumbly-titled film centers around a young man who has spent his entire life in a savage prison society who falls in love with the warden’s daughter. Because if there’s one thing a warden would do, it would be to let his daughter come visit his savage prison. “Come to work with Daddy, honey. Don’t look anybody in the eye.”

Anyway, those two fall in love and try to figure out a way for Taylor to escape. I recommend stuffing one of those Taylor Lautner Twilight love pillows into the bed, and then slink out undetected. Either that or he can somehow use his abs to bend the bars. The audience for this really won’t care. (Deadline)

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