Start Procuring The Fake Cocaine For The Keith Richards Biopic

Lookin' good, Keith! 

After winning GQ‘s “Writer of the Year” award for his autobiography Life (really GQ? Him?), Keith Richards told The Telegraph that there are “feelers out at the minute” for a biopic adaptation, but he isn’t in a real rush to get it going.

Of course not. He’s Keith Richards. It’s not like he’s capable of dying or anything. He’s like Voldemort with a Telecaster.

This news should come as little surprise, as his book was one of last year’s bestsellers, despite a scarcity of depravity and turpitude. For that, I would suggest Motley Crue’s The Dirt. Seriously. So it’s a popular rock star who wrote a popular book that can be shot (possibly) as PG-13. You better believe that’s a nascent film!

The bazillion-dollar question is: Who will play Richards? Here are my good picks, bad picks, and some picks I didn’t consider.

Good:

Keith Richards (especially for younger scenes; that would be hilarious)

Edward Norton

James McAvoy

Bad:

Johnny Depp

Russell Brand

Jared Fucking Leto

Not Considered:

John Goodman

Andre 3000

Phillip Baker Hall