Start Procuring The Fake Cocaine For The Keith Richards Biopic

Wednesday, September 7 by
Lookin' good, Keith! 

After winning GQ‘s “Writer of the Year” award for his autobiography Life (really GQ? Him?), Keith Richards told The Telegraph that there are “feelers out at the minute” for a biopic adaptation, but he isn’t in a real rush to get it going.

Of course not. He’s Keith Richards. It’s not like he’s capable of dying or anything. He’s like Voldemort with a Telecaster.

This news should come as little surprise, as his book was one of last year’s bestsellers, despite a scarcity of depravity and turpitude. For that, I would suggest Motley Crue’s The Dirt. Seriously. So it’s a popular rock star who wrote a popular book that can be shot (possibly) as PG-13. You better believe that’s a nascent film!

The bazillion-dollar question is: Who will play Richards? Here are my good picks, bad picks, and some picks I didn’t consider.

Good:

Keith Richards (especially for younger scenes; that would be hilarious)

Edward Norton

James McAvoy

Bad:

Johnny Depp

Russell Brand

Jared Fucking Leto

Not Considered:

John Goodman

Andre 3000

Phillip Baker Hall

 

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