Our next comic needs no introduction but we’ll give him one all the same… back from his debut review of ‘Obsessed w/ Beyoncé and That White Bitch.’
Laaaadies and Geeeeentlemeeeeen! Mr.! Tacoooo! Perkiiiiins!
Yo, yo, yo. What’s happenin’ mothaf**kas??!! Y’all ready to laugh up in this bitch?
*holds for applause. receives none.*
A’ight. A’ight. Y’all be watching FX, right? ‘Course you do! YOU BLACK. I said it! Nah, I’m just playin’. But anyway, y’all seen that movie with the big-ass snakes on an airplane? No. I ain’t be talkin’ ‘bout no Soul Plane. Though Snoop do be hung like a bullied teenager!
I’m talkin’ bout that Sam Jackson in Snakes On A Plane. You know, “I’ve had it with all these muthaf*ckin’ snakes on this muthaf*ckin’ plane!” That’s that sh*t right there. Well, take a look a here what FX done did with the voiceover edit:
Monkey-fighting?? Monday ta Fridee? That’s how white people be cussin’!! White people be all cussing all like this
*mutters in cliché white person voice with arms akimbo* “Oh fudge-flavored taffy! I’m a day late on the darn utility bill!”
Yo, fo’ real though. That edit was wack. But you know what’s even more wack? The monkey-fightin’ outtakes. Peep this sh*t:
A’ight, y’all. That’s my time. I gotta get home before my tenderoni falls asleep if I’m gonna “dust a hut” tonight. If y’all know what I mean. Peace!
— TACO PERKINS
Taco Perkins, the hacky black comedian, has a CD available for sale out of the trunk of his car. Look for the rusty Ford Festiva parked at the far end of the lot.
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