‘Silent Hill’ 3D Sequel Signs Unknown Cast And Unknown Director For Unknown Audience

Monday, March 7 by

Good news for all those fans of the original Silent Hill adaptation in 2006! (*crickets chirping*) There is going to be a 3D sequel! (*fewer crickets chirping*) Starring a handful of actors that no one has ever heard of! (*crickets screaming, begging for death, followed by deafening silence*)

Silent Hill: Revelations 3D will address the relationship between protagonist Heather Mason and her dad, eventually causing her to believe that she’s not who she thinks she is. Heather Mason will be played by Adelaide Clemens, while unknown actor Kit Harrington will, fittingly, play an unknown role.

Just when you thought your excitement for this film had reached an insurmountable fever pitch, we’ve got more news for you. The film will be directed by Michael J. Bassett, whose latest film, Solomon Kane, didn’t get distributed in the US, probably due to something Barack Obama did. Or because it was awful. Whatever.

Just so we’re clear: A poorly-made adaptation of a video game is getting a sequel starring two unknown actors and a director who hasn’t had success getting anything distributed in these United States. But, hey! It’s gonna be in 3D!

Kinda bleak stuff, no? Here’s some more uplifting news. (THR)

Do you like this story?

COMMENTS

  1. March 7, 2011 1:34 pm

    TinyDickman

    Because nothing will bring the same tension and horrific atmosphere from the game than 3D!

    3DDDDD!!!!!!!

    fuck you


  2. March 7, 2011 1:34 pm

    TinyDickman

    upon further examination, the comment above is missing a vital portion of the statement, and hence makes no sense