Shock: Biologist Calls Bullsh*t On Wolves In ‘The Grey’

Friday, January 27 by
Stupid-Ass Wolves! 

Stop the presses (do they still have presses?)! It appears that the wolf behavior depicted in The Grey isn’t very real at all!

And Gary Wiles, a biologist for the Washington Department of Fish and Wildlife, wants the world to know that.

In the film, which hits theaters today, Liam Neeson‘s character must survive in the Alaskan wilderness, staving off feral wolves. Despite the presence of over 60,000 wolves in the US, only two wolf-related deaths are on record, which is probably like only 20% of the wolf-related deaths featured in The Grey.


“The facts are so much different than what I suspect is portrayed in the movie,” said Wiles, who helped write Washington’s recently adopted wolf management and conservation plan. “I always say show me the evidence that people are being attacked.”

And before you contradict Mr. Wiles, let me remind you that he has crafted at least one wolf management plan. How many wolf management plans have you written and enacted? None, probably.

Screen Junkies is going to take a stand here. We side with Mr. Gary Wiles, but will allow and possibly even enjoy the fictitious portrayal of angry, evil wolves, much as we enjoyed the portrayal of Zach Galifianakis, Bradley Cooper, and Ed Helms as a “wolfpack,” though we are aware that they are human actors, and not actual wolves.

*boom goes the gavel*

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