Shia LaBeouf ‘Retires’ From Public Life

Saturday, January 11 by
Note: He's not retiring from "life in general."  

Amidst indifferent allegations that Shia LaBeouf took a work by Daniel Clowes, then made it his own, The Beef decided that the best way to get out of that pickle would be to plagiarize an apology for his plagiarism.

It didn’t go over well. Backlash has been, again, indifferent, but Shia’s not looking too awesome these days in the public eye, so he’s retired from the public eye. His formal statement says, “In light of the recent attacks against my artistic integrity, I am retiring from all public life.”

Wow. That sounds pretty ridiculous even coming from a famous artist (assuming you consider his brand of acting “art.”)

Anyway, goodbye, Shia. We won’t really miss you very much, but we wish you well in your new life as a monk, or forest ranger, or whatever you’re going to do that doesn’t involve running away from robots.

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