R. Kelly Has Only Written 32 New Chapters Of ‘Trapped In The Closet’

Wednesday, December 21 by
R. Kelly is making you a movie, baby.  

R. Kelly’s Trapped in the Closet saga, by and large, defies description. The easiest way to explain it is, “It’s exactly what would happen if you gave R. Kelly complete creative control over a low-budget musical miniseries.” That is to say it has midgets, guns, one night stands, and R. Kelly basically sing-narrating everything that’s going down onscreen.┬áThe original consisted of 22 chapters and had a cumulative runtime of about 90 minutes, so you can expect this continuation to tack on another two hours or so.

HOWEVER…these additional chapters can’t happen without financing in place, and you may have heard that R. Kelly is currently not terribly liquid, so he’s currently looking for “investors” for the project. I like thinking of financing an R. Kelly video as an “investment.”

Don (a CPA): So Bill, are you prepared to make the same contribution to your Roth IRA that you did last year to enjoy the tax shelter?

Bill: Well, I would, but most of my funds are currently invested in R. Kelly at the moment.

Don: I see.

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