Whatever your stance on the acting abilities of V. Vaughn may be, few can deny the contentious, often violent debate that erupts surrounding his Yule-timed movies. We’re giving two ardent, impassioned readers of Screenjunkies a chance to have their opinions heard. We hope you enjoy. Yours Truly. Max Powers, Editor At Large.
Yep there’s that smarmy smirk we all adore. I saw the billboard for Four Christmases on my way to work this morning and immediately pictured the trailer in my head. Note, I have not actually seen the trailer, and probably never will. And I will tell you exactly how it goes: Vince Vaughn playing Vince Vaughn is a middle age dude looking for a way out. He comes home late, acts selfishly, and makes a joke with puppy dog eyes to get out of it. Academy Award Winner Reese Witherspoon, of Sweet Home Alabama fame, plays opposite as Vaughn’s overbearing successful wife. So no surprise, they argue over whose family to spend the holidays with, Witherspoon plays dominant female, Vaughn speaks in small circles with undermining sarcasm, and finally they either decide to or their therapist forces them to spend the holiday with both sets of parents. Why FOUR Christmases? First off, who the shit cares? Maybe both sets of parents are divorced! Am I right? I be I am. And each parent, played by none other than an Award Winning yet out of work actor from the 70s, comes complete with their own character quirk. Vaughn’s father is undoubtedly sloppy and lazy, and Witherspoon’s mother is of course overbearing, overly done up, and uptight. And to ensure that hilarity will indeed ensue, we cast a couple of Vaughn’s buddies as siblings or neighbors (Favreau or Owen Wilson perhaps?) Throw in some physical comedy, someone slipping on ice fetching the paper or falling off a roof hanging Christmas lights. Who knows! The possibilities are endless for this rotten fruitcake. Oh man. Please tell me there’s a cat who eats the Christmas lights… And of course, we end with a dramatic music change and drive home a forced melodramatic message about family and togetherness, and Vaughn and Witherspoon see each other in a new gay light. But I’m assuming a more positive ending than the Breakup. Jesus Tapdancing Christ man, they should have stopped making Christmas movies with the Griswalds… the first time.
Four Christmases is awesome and you know it. So Fuck you. The end.
Thanks to Steve and Shaun for this spirited dialogue! Do you have an argument between friends that you would like published? Send it to email@example.com