‘Piranha 3DD’ Cast Announced: These Men Need To Guard Their Penises

Monday, April 25 by

The piranhas are back. Last time, they invaded a boob-filled Sprin Break. Now they’re ready to ruin a water park during the Summer. There are gonna be a lot of sad essays read for “How I Spent My Summer Vacation” day at school.

Dimension Films has announced the stars of Piranha 3DD, including Danielle Panabaker (Friday the 13th), Matt Bush (Adventureland), Chris Zylka (The Amazing Spider-Man) and David Koechner (Anchorman). Men, watch your dicks. Ladies, learn to breath underwater while doing an awesome lesbian dance. Choreography lessons start on Tuesday.

It’s directed by John Gulager (Feast), so expect the entire Gulager family to take over the movie. Production has started for the sequel, and the film opens it’s toothy-mouths in theaters November 23, 2011. Geez, can’t they make this movie and faster?