‘Pirates of the Caribbean 4′ on a Quest for Real Boobies

Thursday, March 18 by

Jesse Jane need not apply.

Best. Casting. Call. Ever. Pirates of the Caribbean 4: On Stranger Tides is looking for a few young ladies with very specific measurements and a fine pair of naturals. Attention all you beautiful-types, if your chesticles stand upright when you’re on your backside you need to find another way to fulfill your pirate fantasies. Here is the actual casting breakdown:

Beautiful Female Fit Models. Must be 5’7-5’8, Size 4 or 6 – NO BIGGER OR SMALLER. Age 18-25. Must have a lean dancer body. MUST have real breasts. Do not submit if you have implants. This is a show and tell of costumes with the director and the producers. Plan on an entire day of trying on clothes and being photographed.

Professional Dancers who are Swimmers. Females ONLY. Age 18-30. All ethnicities. YOU MUST have an extensive dance/swimming resume. We will be shooting in Hawaii.

Score one for the girls with high self-esteem! You’ve shyed away from the temptation of augmentation and look what the universe has delivered in return. You might get to walk through the background of a crowded bar while Johnny Depp stumbles and mumbles to Penelope Cruz in the foreground. Sure, no one will pay a lick of attention to you, but you’ll know you helped grant the scene realism. And nice naturals.

On that note, may I make a casting suggestion?

Now imagine Rosie Jones in a corset. (Moviehole)

 

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