"You know, sometimes I think I'd rather have my old wife-murdering neighbor back." 

Sorry, Jimmy. You'll have to settle for the fat nerd and these links:

How To Convince Your GF That The House Is Haunted (HolyTaco)

Matt Holiday Blows It For The Cardinals (TotalProSports)

Caught Red Handed Lookin' At Boobies (TheChive)

Terry Gilliam's Favorite Animated Films (FilmDrunk)

The 10 Greatest Books Adapted Into Movies (SuperTremendous)

The Boogieman Project Round II (Pajiba)

Miley's Boyfriend Forced Her To Quit Twitter (CelebJihad)

14 Coolest Guitar Hero Guitar Mods (Unreality)

World's Larget Pumpkin Cannon In Action (Asylum)

Why We Love College Football: A Gallery (BustedCoverage)

Backyard Wrestling Ends Badly (RegretfulMorning)

How To Make A Perfect First Impression (MadeMan)

Audrina Patridge Thinks She Loves NASCAR (AllLeftTurns)

Soccer Player Brutally Kicked In The Head (NothingToxic)

Where Does Chocolate Milk Come From? (Atom)