Patton Oswalt Doesn’t Read Your Tweets Unless They’re Three Dog Night Related

Wednesday, February 2 by

Here’s an award show scandal that won’t get nearly as much press. Patton Oswalt hosted the Visual Effects Society Awards, honoring the artists who make movie, TV and video game FX. His brand of irreverent sarcasm wasn’t always met with applause. Like when he called a Ray Harryhausen montage “fake.” He was being ironic!

I got Oswalt on the red carpet and he was humorously uncooperative too. I just gave him more fuel to be ridiculous at the VES Awards.

Q: What sort of visual effects jokes have you prepared for tonight?

Patton Oswalt: I haven’t really prepared any jokes so I’ll have to just kind of wing it when I get out there.

Q: Is that how you usually work when you host?

PO: No, I’ve just been very busy so we’ll see what happens.

Q: Which of the nominated movies have you seen?

PO: Did Attack of the Clones come out this year? I saw that on a Betamax tape so I’m feeling pretty confident.

Q: I think it did, and I think Yoda’s here.

PO: Awesome. Are you sure that was Yoda or was that Joan Rivers?

Q: What’s going on in the world that you’re preparing jokes about?

PO: Ooh, boy, let me think. Didn’t they elect a new president this year, that Barack guy? I wrote a couple jokes about him. I think they landed a guy on the moon this year too so I’m pretty up to date.

Q: Do you try to avoid topical humor?

PO: I’m not really sure. Again, I have nothing ready so I couldn’t tell you.

Q: If I wanted to improv with you how should I start?

PO: Send me the prewritten script and I’ll read off of it.

Q: Inception is a big winner tonight. Could you follow it perfectly the first time you saw it?

PO: I’ve only played the board game so far and there’s something about a thing where your character goes down this little slide. Is that in the movie? That’s in the board game and I love that. A little Leo piece goes down a slide, so if there’s a slide in it then yeah, that was my favorite part.

Q: You’re very present on Twitter. What are some good ways for non -famous people to boost their Twitter following?

PO: I guess start attacking famous people and get into fights. I’m not really sure. I don’t think Twitter really helps your career.

Q: So if we tweet mean things at you, will you respond?

PO: Probably not. Sorry, I just don’t read the @follows. I’m kind of lazy that way.

Q: So that wouldn’t actually help your following.

PO: Well, not for me, no although I don’t know how much I can help someone’s career.

Q: Are you touring?

PO: Yeah, I’ve been opening up for Three Dog Night so it’s been pretty exciting.

Q: Do you have lots of Three Dog Night jokes?

PO: Oh my God, I have like an hour’s worth.

Q: I’m going to put you on the spot. Share one of your Three Dog Night jokes with us.

PO: The band has asked me not to do any outside of the concerts because they’re going to put out a special bonus CD. So I would love to, but I can’t. Chuck Negron is really tough.

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  1. February 2, 2011 9:50 am

    Michael Kuznar

    Lol Patton cracks me up

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  2. February 2, 2011 9:50 am

    Chuck Negron

    You have no idea!
    Have you ever worked with my cousin, Taylor Negron?

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