News - Page 34

Get ready to feel really, really old.

He was heads above the rest.

Let’s go get drunk.

These space ladies should have the right to compete too.

Now you can live Oprah’s nightmare with Tom Cruise all up in your face.

Born to be a flop.

If I see so much as one mo-cap pingpong ball within fifteen feet of Denzel, so help me God, I’m burning down that set.

Arnold just wants to act, man.

I think the survivors will envy the dead in this scenario.

Holla at yo’ boi this weekend.

In all fairness, Jews have been making movies about Nazis for years…

But will it conflict with his regular gig on ‘Two and a Half Men’?

You know your balls taste great when an ice cream is named in their honor. Congratulations, Alec Baldwin!

If that’s not a mo-cap suit, but rather a costume, then the costume designer ought to be executed where he or she stands.

Who ever they pick to play him, they’ll have to skinny him up in post.

Seriously. How many kids are you friends with?

We’re about to find out that Ventnor Avenue isn’t really a place, per se, but more like a state of mind.

Now you say his name three times and he appears as a crassly commercial version of himself played by Russell Brand.

Prepare the body double!

Will he wear a fat suit?

Oops. I meant you SHOULD worry.

Whoa.

They were tired of being relevant anyway.

But that’s almost a month AFTER Grandparents Day!

They’ll have to find comfort in their Grammy Awards.

I wish David Lynch were my grandpa.

Reel hotels. Real reviews.

All that’s left to do is hire stunt doubles.

Remember Ryan Reynolds? He’s still alive!

David’s weakness will be his chipmunk teeth.