All work and no snozzberries makes Willy Wonka a dull boy.
Seth Rogen and Chris Pine are being considered for the role vacated by Bradley Cooper in This Means War. Makes sense seeing as they're all pretty much the same guy. If you're squinting really hard.The romantic comedy tells the story of two best friends who compete for the affections of Reese Witherspoon and leave New York City decimated in their wake. Because if there's one thing that New York City is lacking in, it's women hotter than Reese Witherspoon. One the one hand, Chris Pine fits the heart-throb bill better than Rogen. Yet on the other, Rogen's packing the right equipment should director McG decide to include a topless scene. I could see this one going either way. (The Wrap)
Last we heard from Brad Fuller, he and Platinum Dunes were not sure what was going to happen with Friday the 13th 2: The Squeakquel. Yesterday on Twitter Fuller announced, "it is dead – not happening." No further explanation was provided as Fuller chose to not use his remaining 113 characters, but it can be assumed this stems from Platinum Dunes's desire to move away from the horror genre.Still, it comes as a surprise though considering the cash the remake raked in. And it's strange to think of a world without a never-ending string of Friday the 13th sequels. They've been a part of life as long as I can remember. Like my effeminate throwing ability and the constant taunting from my peers. (Bloody Disgusting)
Iron Man is Swayze's limber partner in Dirty Dancing, in case you've ever wanted to see him put in the corner instead of Baby.You'll have the time of your life with these links.Hollywood's Hardest-Working Actors (Moviefone)6 Hottest Girls of AccuWeather (Asylum)What's Hot at the Tribeca Film Festival (PopEater)25 Examples of Unintentional Porn (HolyTaco)Stupid 'Downfall' Studio Pulling Hitler Clips (FilmDrunk)8 of the Strangest Bars in the World (Unreality)Jared Allen's Night Out Gets Cray Cray (TotalProSports)21 Awesome Monkey Tattoos (Maxim)MMA Gif Party (CagePotato)Twlight Eclipse Exclusive Screen Shot (CelebJihad)25 People Molesting Statues (Smosh)The Other 130 Great Schwarzenegger Quotes (Pajiba)Musical Ode to Chatroulette (Atom)When and Where it's Legal to Kick Ass (MadeMan)Sasquatch Earnhardt Jr. (AllLeftTurns)
Photo taken in an alternate universe where James Cameron is a member of Tangerine Dream.It won't be long before Sam Worthington plugs his hair into a double-tailed dolphin in order to glide amongst the extra-finned fish and decempi of Pandora's oceans. James Cameron has announced that Avatar 2 will combine his love of the deep with his love of deep pockets."Part of my focus in the second film is in creating a different environment – a different setting within Pandora. And I'm going to be focusing on the ocean on Pandora, which will be equally rich and diverse and crazy and imaginative, but it just won't be a rain forest. I'm not saying we won't see what we've already seen; we'll see more of that as well."Man, Cameron loves him some bodies of water. Just look at his moistened resume: Titanic, The Abyss, Aliens of the Deep, Ghosts of the Abyss, Pirahna II, and that time he pushed Michael Biehn into a pool. (LA Times)
Barry Sonnenfeld confirming the news. Director Barry Sonnenfeld told Showbiz 411 that Men in Black 3D is closer to happening sometime at some point. Will Smith has officially signed on and Tommy Lee Jones nodded awhile back, thus confirming his involvement. There's only the small matter of a script, which didn't seem to hinder the production of MiB2. I'm pretty sure the shooting draft of that was scribbled on the back pages of a Wild Wild West script. Men in Black 3D will be in 3D, as the title suggests and your common sense surmised. It's most likely Sony's hope that it lands in theaters Memorial Day 2011. Will Smith has a history of making that weekend his box office bitch.
You most likely remember Danneel Harris as Kumar's eventual girlfriend in Harold and Kumar Escape Guantanamo Bay. She had the three-way with the bag of weed. Ahhhh there it is. I'll let you go and rewatch that scene now.A word from Danneel: "Going around half-naked stops being cute when you're 35."I'd gladly grant you an extension on that. Check out 31-year-old Danneel after the jump.
In news that will make out-of-work dolly grips ecstatic, Martin Lawrence is certain that Bad Boys 3 will definitely happen needlessly. A script has been in the works for awhile and Michael Bay and Will Smith have stated that they'd come back if their price (Smith wants a role for Jaden, Bay wants a lifetime supply of snow leopard meat) is met. Here's what Lawrence told MTV:Any time you can get Big Willie to come out and talk about doing a third installment of a hot movie like ‘Bad Boys,’ you have to take notice. I met with Michael Bay, and he said he’s onboard too — so it’s real…We’re just waiting on Jerry Bruckheimer to let us know when it’s really real.Sounds like sh*t could get real to me. As long as the story is there, of course.
Entertainment Weekly aired a featurette centering on Iron Man 2's villains Whiplash and Justin Hammer. It's nothing mind blowing, but for all those needing a fix it'll "take you there" and have you feeling the effects for about twenty minutes afterwords, not unlike the coke Mickey Rourke used to rail off hotel carpets. Also, the suit Sam Rockwell is wearing fits him really well. What, a man can't admire fine tailoring? **Rips off sleeveless polo. Gets into fighting stance** Check out the featurette below. Iron Man 2 hits theaters May 7. (/Film)
"I'm out this bitch."Leonard Nimoy won't be ordering additional prints of his headshot. The Star Trek star has decided to hang up his pointy ears and goatee that he wears when he plays a villian and retire from acting after sixty years.“I want to get off the stage. Also, I don’t think it would be fair to Zachary Quinto. He’s a terrific actor, he looks the part, and it’s time to give him some space. And I’m very flattered the character will continue. [Before all this] I was away from acting for 12 years, so I guess I was seducable. But since J.J. Abrams revived the Star Trek franchise, I felt I owed him something. And I’m glad I did it because he promised me a good story, and it was.”He's also retiring from the convention scene, with only a few more appearances planned. So if you have any important questions or theories about pon farr negation or want to point out continuity errors in the original series, your time to pester Mr. Nimoy is running out. (Toronto Sun)
The Onion News Network reports on rumors that Gwyneth Paltrow may take a blow to the kisser in the upcoming film Iron Man 2. It's my hope that Black Widow instigates the fight in a room with no doors and mounds of pillows, but as long as the blonde gets clocked I'll be aroused.These links won't fight back. Diaz and Del Toro Have an 'Ex to Grind' (Moviefone) That Is One Stacked Newscaster (Asylum)Leno Praises O'Brien (PopEater)25 Terrible Toys (HolyTaco)Wikus from 'District 9' Rocks a Boombox (FilmDrunk)'LOST' Tarot Cards Will Spell Your Doom (Unreality)Best of USC Cheerleader Swim (TotalProSports)Celebrity Sex Addiction Timeline (Maxim)Knockout of the Day: Jose Aldo (CagePotato)Kim Kardashian's Latest Animal Torture Alligations (CelebJihad)25 Men in Wigs (Smosh)The Poor Man's… (Pajiba)Less Money, Mo Problems Music Video (Atom)9 Sexiest Secretaries (MadeMan)Hamlin Fights Pain, Beats Competition (AllLeftTurns)
Just saying.Adventureland director and Turtle Club member Greg Mottola has been hired to write (and presumably direct) Paramount's adaptation of the overly-titled Important Artifacts and Personal Property From the Collection of Lenore Doolan and Harold Morris, Including Books, Street Fashion and Jewelry. Mottola will turn the fictional estate auction catalogue from a dissolved relationship into a romantic comedy that has Brad Pitt and Natalie Portman attached to star. Jennifer Aniston is said to be working on a similar project, starring herself and a life-sized Brad Pitt Hairdoll. (THR)
Noureen DeWulf proves that a strict Muslim household can create one of the sexiest women on the planet. The Indian-American received national attention for her very first movie, a short film called West Bank Story about a Palestinian cashier who falls in love with an Israeli soldier.A word from Noureen: "I have to be honest, I don't think my career is easy to deal with for my Muslim family."Acting and taking half-naked pics of yourself drinking from a garden hose are two very different ways to promote a career. They may have been fine with only the former. Check out more of Noureen disgracing her family after the jump.
It's 4/20, so of course a trailer centering around the sweet sticky-icky has dropped. Stoner comedy HIGH School follows a valedictorian who, out of fear of losing his college scholarship, begrudgingly teams up with a charismatic pothead to do the only thing they can think of to neutralize the threat—get the entire student body stoned. If you can't tell by the above screen shot, Adrien Brody plays the drug dealer with a penchant for stink eyes, and Matt Bush, the kid from those "don't throw your f*ckin' minutes away!" AT&T commercials, plays Henry Burke, the student. Michael Chiklis dons a full head of whispy hair as the smarmy principal who institutes a zero-tolerance policy at the school and wants Henry's head on a pike. Those crazy kids at this past Sundance loved the film, but I heard that crowd only smokes kind buds, so your experience may differ depending on your allowance. Check out the… Oh man. **Giggles uncontrollably** I know I put something after the jump.
You'd think an expertly-trained international spy would stay focused on the actual mission.
Jennifer Lopez's new movie, The Back-up Plan, premieres this week. The film is supposedly a comedy about having a baby. Unfortunately, the trailer looks about as funny as SIDS. In fact, the only humorous thing about the film is that it was originally titled Plan B. Now that's comedy! But when it comes to awful films about babies, The Back-up Plan has a lot of company. Here are nine other poorly conceived baby movies. Son of the Mask – 2005 The Mask (1994) was a horrible film that was made slightly tolerable by the presence of Jim Carrey. So when you replace Jim Carrey with Jamie Kennedy and throw in a baby with magical powers, it’s pretty clear you’ve got a real crapfest on your hands. Did I mention it also stars Alan Cumming? Well it does.
Economic hard times haven't only hurt 85% of everyone you know, forcing them move back with their parents and job hunt to no avail for 14 straight months. No. The deflation has also taken its toll on cocksure British spies who get laid pretty much constantly and introduce themselves in needlessly redundant ways. The cash-strapped MGM has announced that development on Bond 23 has been halted indefinitely.Producers Michael G. Wilson and Barbara Broccoli have issued this statement:Due to the continuing uncertainty surrounding the future of MGM and the failure to close a sale of the studio, we have suspended development on ‘Bond 23′ indefinitely. We do not know when development will resume and do not have a date for the release of ‘Bond 23.’That sucks. I hate it when a film franchise isn't afforded the opportunity to be sequeled into oblivion to the point where the plots and villians all melt together into one homogenized, exploding blur. Stories like this really need to spread their wings, y'know? And has no one taken into consideration the feelings of the poor TBS Superstation? Now they'll likely never get to celebrate '23 Days of Bond' properly. (Coming Soon)
Hey guys, women. Am I right? From Variety:Summit Entertainment has acquired film and TV rights to the "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus" franchise based on the book series written by John Gray.Erik Feig, Summit's President of Production, stated, "'Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus' is not just the title of a book, or what we know will become an amazing film and TV franchise – it is a pop cultural mainstay and comically, sadly, romantically, all too often still true these many years after first being published. We are thrilled to have the opportunity to work on a franchise whose name everyone knows and whose reality everyone lives!"And we're even more thrilled to pull a Valentine's Day/He's Just Not That Into You/Love, Actually by cramming a bunch of rich, pretty people into a movie together. I don't think Jessica Alba has hooked up with Bradley Cooper in a movie yet. And with that forehead and underbite of hers, Drew Barrymore certainly looks like she could be from another planet.
UPDATE: The final figures are in and Kick-Ass took the top spot with $19,828,687. How to Train Your Dragon came in at number two with $19,633,320. Still read the post though. I spent at least twenty minutes on it.Kick-Ass has some explaining to do after coming on hot and then underperforming in the weekend box-office sack. Sucks to be you, bro! Haha. That NEVER happens to me. Shut up. My eyes always well during allergy season.But did it really lose?Speculation was that it would earn at least $30 million so if you wanna be a dick about it, yes. As of today it holds the number two spot behind How to Train Your Dragon (final calculations come in tomorrow), trailing by $250k. But bear in mind that Dragon is a 3D movie for children. Kids movies always pack them in and when you factor in the higher cost of 3D tickets, it's no surprise that it raked in more cash. Adjust for that info, and the R-rated, non-3D Kick-Ass probably brought in a larger audience. I'd calculate all this info myself but the F12 button is all the way over there and it's time to go eat a sandwich. So in conclusion, just sayin'. (BoxOfficeMojo)
And please, keep the fat, bearded auditions to a minimum. Last week we told you that Todd Phillips is working on a raunchy, low budget comedy deemed Project X, which Joel Silver will co-produce and Nima Nourizadeh will direct. Unlike most outlandish secret projects in Hollywood, this one is actually panning out, as Phillips has given it a violent shove into the casting phase.People with faces and voices and dreams and no shame can audition for a role in the 12 million dollar budget comedy at projectxopencall.com. You need to be at least 18 years of age and look like you're actually 18, so Nic Cage need not fire up his Handycam. Your options for the video audition are as follows:Tell us your most embarrassing story.Tell us your craziest party story.Tell us about the riskiest or most daring thing you've ever done.If you wanted to impress someone at a club, show us how you would dance.Show us the one thing that you do that makes your friends laugh.How about all five at once, casting agents? I've kept a sh*tting myself yarn in my back pocket for years that's gonna bowl you over. Hollywood stardom, here I come! (Deadline)
You asked for it! Wait, you didn't ask for it? Well than the Japanese assumed you wanted it! The Big Tits Zombie 3D trailer is here, and it delivers on all the words in the aptly named title. You can even rearrange the words and the title would still apply. There are big 3D tits zombie, zombie big tits 3D, and 3D tits big zombie. The trailer is protected by an age gate due to some chainsaw carnage, but unfortunately you don't see any of the promised oversized mammaries (ripe or rotten). The film is about a group of strippers fighting a band of zombies, and some of the zombies play ping pong. Quit trying to stir up sh*t, strippers. Just grab a paddle and chillax. Check out the trailer below.
I was surprised when Robert Rodriguez's Grindhouse trailer Machete was given the big screen treatment, because Rodriguez is known to just say things. So color me super-secret-double-omega-very surprised at the news Rutger Hauer is to star in a feature length version of Hobo With a Shotgun. In 2007, SXSW held a contest which invited filmmakers to make cheap crap to go along with Grindhouse. Hobo With a Shotgun was by far the best of the bunch and Jason Eisener's fake trailer was attached to Canadian prints of the film. Filming on the feature version begins tomorrow with Rutger starring as the titular hobo. That's great casting as Hauer is no stranger to doling out justice or looking kinda like a hobo. Though Busey. Busey would have been a casting coup. (AICN) Check out the original Hobo trailer after the jump…
If movies and television have taught us anything, it's that our girlfriends will be immediately railed by cheesy Eurotrash douche-wads moments after we break up with them. That's just science. You can't fight it.Last night's hilarious SNL Digital Short takes aim at this trope by having Andy Samberg don the flaxen tresses of Viggo the Carpathian and ruin host Ryan Phillipe's life. One bowl of cereal at a time.
Let's get this barbeque f*ckin' started. This Labor Day, make room for Machete amongst your ice cold beers and charred hot dogs. The Robert Rodriguez produced film based off the trailer from Grindhouse will hit theaters September 3. Machete stars Danny Trejo as a blade-wielding Mexican ex-Federale who is double-crossed by a crooked politician. If for some loco reason blade-wielding Mexican's aren't your cup of horchata, keep in mind that Jessica Alba is playing twins in the film. Yes, that's right, Rodriguez DOES listen to your prayers at night, and he has answered them. Who else did you think you were appealing to? (Variety)
Say's who?Here are your weekend links. 10 Nerdiest Superheroes (Moviefone)Jesus Has a Big Penis (Asylum)Kim Kardashian Doesn't Get Why We Like Her Ass (PopEater)25 Real Life Superheroes (HolyTaco)Courtney Love Weighs In on Cobain Role (FilmDrunk)Classy Gay Stormtrooper is Not Threatened by You (Unreality)Phillies Fan Makes a Great Grab (TotalProSports)25 Awesome Killer Robots (Maxim)Ben Fowlkes: A Remembrance (CagePotato)Rachel Bilson Flaunts It by the Pool (CelebJihad)Stoned Dogs (Smosh)Nic Cage Career Assessment (Pajiba)Nick Kroll & Donald Glover Drop Knowledge (Atom)6 Favorite Healthy Beers (MadeMan)Attendence Decline Stumps NASCAR (AllLeftTurns)
The man profiled in the highly-amusing video above is Bill Anthony Jakob, a security guard who rolled into a small Missouri town and passed himself off as a Federal Agent by quoting Beverly Hills Cop 2 and flashing a badge purchased on the Internet. Jakob went on to arrest twenty meth dealers and significantly clean up town. Naturally, his story will now be made into a movie.Deadline reports that Curtis Hanson and Iron Man 2 actor-turned-writer Clark Gregg are in talks to bring The Man With the World's Biggest Balls (working title) to the screen. Not much is known yet about the tone of the film but it's expected to be a drama with comedic elements. Think more along the lines of The Informant and less along those of Martin Lawrence's Blue Streak or National Security or any other films in his "cops who are not" series. I mean, really. Would you seriously let this pizza-brandishing maniac into your police station?
"Thank you for coming to our pudding party."Continuing on his path of selecting films with terrible titles, Samuel L. Jackson has signed on to star in Deathgames, opposite Twilight and Elm Street's Kellan Lutz.Former visual effects supervisor Jonah Loop, will make his directorial debut with the modern gladiator film. In the story, Lutz is kidnapped and forced to battle in the arena for the entertainment of online spectators. Jackson runs the games, overseeing them from his lair with the help of twin ladies "who see to his every desire." Just like Steven Seagal. If Seagal were computer-literate.(THR)
Darren Aronofsky and his affianced are hellbent on giving America the frownies.The hot spec script Jackie, about the immediate days following President Kennedy’s assassination, is getting the big screen treatment with Academy-Award winning actress Rachel Weisz attached to play the late first lady. Weisz’s fiancee, director Darren Aronofsky (The Wrestler), will direct and produce, along with his producing partner Scott Franklin and their Protozoa Pictures film company. Jackie catalogs the four days between JFK’s assassination and his burial, showing the beloved Jackie at both her most vulnerable and her most graceful. No deal is in place yet but it's expected to be soon. I can hear the manipulative music swelling and see the interspersment of actual funeral footage now. But I will not cry dammit. I will not. I just plan on thinking about something else.Thanks, Jackee. (EW)
Patricia Manterola sings, dances, acts, models, and radiates hotness. She has starred in the Mexican versions of "Charlie's Angels" and "Ugly Betty," and in HBO's "Arliss," getting much props for looking directly at Robert Wuhl. A word from Patricia: "I'd never experienced the production process."OMG, are you for reals?! It's like the beeeeeeeeeest process. We'll discuss over an English muffin.Check out more of Patricia the renaissance woman after the jump.
French Actress Astrid Berges-Frisby has been cast as Syrena The Hot Mermaid (not official title) in Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides. Producer Jerry Bruckheimer and director Rob Marshall pretended they saw her foreign films La Fille du Puisatier and La Premiere Etoile and decided to give the young actress a shot in the ring with Johnny Depp. Also, she has real boobies.Ian McShane also stars in the fourth Pirates installment as the infamous Blackbeard, with Penelope Cruz playing his daughter. Do Spainiards and the French get along? Can we cause a rift in the countries' relationship? I'm all for world peace, but I would absolutely loooooove some on-set cat fight pics. (/Film)