This trailer for Golden Girls Origins Sex and the City 2 has reunited everyone's favorite assholes and relocated them to the Lipstick Desert. When the plot picks up, the ladies are bored with marriage/kids/cougarism and decide to take a group vacation to Abu Dhabi. My big question is 'Why?' Why would anyone go to Abu Dhabi?? Isn't that the place where cartoon characters ship their annoying counterparts after convincing them to climb into wooden crates? Oh, you know what. I now see the logic. Watch the faaabulousssss trailer after the jump…
Awww, frowny face. Tragedy has struck in Hollywood. Nicolas Cage has lost another of his fabulous homes to a foreclosing lender.The opening bid for the actor's 12,000-square-foot home was $10.4 million, but there are $18 million worth of loans on the property. The Tudor mansion boasts six bedrooms, a central tower, home theater and an Olympic-sized pool. The house reverted to the foreclosing lender at Wednesday's auction in Pomona. Even though he's one of Hollywood's highest-paid stars, Cage has money troubles. He owes millions in unpaid taxes and in January his foreclosed home in Las Vegas sold for nearly $5 million.How very devastating. Why do bad things always happen to weird people who drop millions of dollars on dinosaur skulls? It really is a shame though. Dude had to wear A LOT of silly wigs to be able to afford those homes. (LA Times)
Don't drink and drive, Drunk-Rupert-Everett-Servant-Robot. Since District 9 struck box office gold without the use of 3D, Hollywood has been eager to buy up and adapt enticing sci-fi shorts. So it's no surprise that a bidding war has broken out over commercial director Carl Erik Rinsch's The Gift, a look at a futuristic, dystopian Moscow where a robo-butler is hunted down for a box containing either miniature unicorns or rare Lisa Frank stickers. That outcome all depends on how literal Russian-version of Ricky Jay was being. From THR: On Wednesday, the day the short came out, a bidding war broke out between several studios — longtime rivals Warner Bros. and Fox are in the mix, according to sources — who see feature potential in the short. Some speculate the project will end up at Fox, because Rinsch is part of the stable of RSA, Ridley Scott's commercial house that produced the short, and Scott's longtime association with Fox. Rinsch was actually originally attached to the Alien prequel but was later ousted so papa bear Ridley Scott could take the wheel. Maybe Ridley will throw Rinsch his long-gestating Monopoly project. I'd love to see his gritty commentary on the stark living conditions of St. James Place and its neighboring prison.Check out the short after the jump. WARNING: Eligible viewers must pass a saliva scan…
The director of Zombieland, Ruben Fleischer, is doing a movie about pizza and Aziz Ansari is in negotiations to star. 30 Minutes or Less follows an aimless delivery man who is forced to rob a bank by two goons who strap a bomb to his chest. Ansari would play the poor sap's straight-man buddy, on hand to recommend deep breaths and "stepping back and looking at the situation from a different perspective." So my headline doesn't make complete sense. Sue me. (Don't sue me). Seeing Ansari in a straight-man role would definitely be a change of pace for the actor. Not that he's a Jim Carrey type, but Ansari has been known to expend physical energy on stage, especially when discussing Coldstone Creamery. Danny McBride is rumored to play the unfortunate pizza pusher, which would set up a nice dynamic. I can already hear McBride putting his unique North Carolina twang on an Indian racial slur. (THR)
With the news that Emily Blunt told Marvel they could cram their Peggy Carter role up their puckering crap-crave (I'm paraphrasing), we were left with Keira Knightley and Alice Eve in the running to play Captain America's leading lady. E! reports that Knightley told Marvel to squat on a pineapple (paraphrasing again), which means that She's Out of My League's Eve is the frontrunner for the role.Or once again, one of the frontrunners for the role rather. It was also announced that British actress Hayley Atwell is now up for the part. Damn it, people making Captain America. Just pick already. The sooner you finish casting, the sooner we can laugh at Chris Evans and Sebastian Stan in their ridiculous spandex costumes. (Eats Easy Mac with air of superiority, spills on Pokemon shirt).
Crispin Glover has "weirdest moments" written all over his incredibly distinctive face. He also seems like he lives his life as though everyday is Halloween. Crispin recently returned to the big screen in Hot Tub Time Machine, and it's my hope that it leads to future projects so we can capture more instances of WTF on camera much like these…Kicking
It looks like an actor has willingly signed on to play the lead in Battleship, a Peter Berg joint. Taylor Kitsch, who you probably know from Friday Night Lights or X-Men Origins: Wolverine or John Carter of Mars (if you're behind on your RSS feed and just now reading this in 2012), is now attached to play Alex Hopper, the Commanding Officer of a destroyer who goes toe-to-toe with alien invaders on the high seas.Jeremy Renner was originally in talks for the role but had to drop out when he realized the movie was based on a board game. I'd like to stay optimistic about this until I see a trailer, but I will go on record and let it be known that I'll be very disappointed if a Slinky doesn't burst from a crewmember's chest during a galley scene. (THR)
Rugged Hollywood grandpappy Harrison Ford is now officially cast in Cowboys & Aliens as an unspecified character according to director Jon Favreau's Twitter posting:"Please stop asking if Harrison Ford is in Cowboys & Aliens. Okay? He is. Please don’t tell anybody."Umm, for the record Jon, I didn't ask. Okay? Dial back the attitude some. Maybe you need to relax with a travel brochure.Sorry you guys had to see that. Anyway, this may mark the first time Harrison Ford has been in a good movie since Air Force One. That is, if the concept of cowboys and Indians teaming up to fight off alien invaders can yield a good movie. Personally, I feel like it could be quality. If casted correctly….
"COOKIE???!!!"Looks like Tony Scott will finally have the chance to make his passion project Potsdamer Platz after nattering on and on about it for the last decade. Sheesh, we get it. You like movies about trains.The film, about a New Jersey crime family expanding their business nationally, is expected to undergo a title and locale change as the latest script has the action moving from Germany to Puerto Rico. Mickey Rourke, Jason Statham, and Javier Bardem are all rumored to be circling the project. Though if Bardem drops out, Scott can probably get Jeffrey Dean Morgan at a bargain rate. It's also being reported that the Crimson Tide director is trying to lure Gene Hackman out of retirement to take part in the film, but inside sources say that isn't happening. I could have told you that. Dude is way too into taking bong rips and playing Forza Motorsport 3 to waste his time making movies. (Deadline)
Olivia Munn has, pretty much, all but conquered the small screen, co-hosting "Attack of the Show!", as well as modeling for many magazines, including Playboy (though she did keep her clothes on. Boo!!!), Maxim, and Men's Health. You can see her on the big screen in Date Night this weekend and in Iron Man 2 this May. A word from Olivia: "I love banana cream meringue pie!"I'm going to assume that's a sex position, and don't anyone DARE try to convince me otherwise. More pics of Olivia after the jumps, sans pie.
It took Disney 28 years to sequelize Tron and, now, negative nine months to start work on a third film. Tron Legacy writers Edward Kitsis and Adam Horowitz have been hired to write another sequel with the intention to round out the story as a trilogy. At this point, it's not known if director Joseph Kosinski or the film's stars will return. It's also not known whether the movie deserves a sequel. Though that's never stopped anyone before.I'm looking at you Resident Evil. (THR)
Troma's The Toxic Avenger film is a cult hit about a 98-lb weakling who mutates into a misshapen hulk after falling into a vat of toxic waste. He uses his newfound strength to rip evil-doers limb from limb and then sodomize them with said limbs. Today comes news that Akiva Goldsman has picked up the rights to remake The Toxic Avenger without including any of those good parts.The new Toxie will be a green superhero who embarks on PG-13 adventures. Which means instead of introducing a thug's head to his sphincter, he will now introduce thugs to brochures about recycling and Al Gore documentaries. (Deadline)
Luke better not show his face at this remembrance.Let's take a moment for these links.Winona Ryder Joins Ron Howard Comedy (Moviefone)Soda-Drinking May Kill Your Sperm (Asylum)Gwyneth Paltrom Is Filled With Hate (PopEater)25 Mutant Cars (HolyTaco)Internet Geek License Plates (Unreality)33 Super Hot Baseball Girls (TotalProSports)Hot Girls in Hats (Maxim)NCIS: LA Goes MMA-Style (CagePotato)13 Celebs Who Probably Smell Like Cheese (EgoTV)11 Total Burnouts (Smosh)5 TV Shows We Got Tired of Banging (Pajiba)Ways to Save Money: Electricity (Atom)15 Time Management Tips (MadeMan)Leffler Wrecks Buescher in Nashville (AllLeftTurns)25 Confused Animals (RegretfulMorning)
Sometimes I feel like Hugh Jackman extracts his life-force from gay jokes. Between all the song and dance and now this casting announcement, it has to be the only explanation.In Peter Farrelly's upcoming anthology film, titled Untitled Comedy, Jackman will play a bachelor on a date with Kate Winslet. Kate has a hard time concentrating during the social call as Jackman's character has testicles attached to his chin. Nice work, guys. 1999 is laughing its ass off. The short segment, known as The Catch, is just one of several sketches that populate the film.Now that Jackman and "balls on chin" are forever wed in Google bliss, it's a good thing he didn't star in Brokeback Mountain. The combined might of those gay jokes could cause him to go supernova and destroy us all. FLAME ON! (Digital Spy)
Olivia Thirlby seems ready to break away from her moody indie roots. The star of The Wackness, Juno, and movies I rent accidentally on Netflix has just been cast in Chris Gorak's The Dark Hour. In the film, she'll play an American traveller in Moscow when aliens invade unexpectedly. Thirlby will fight for survival alongside other tourists in the sci-fi epic from the production designer turned director. Between all the random attacks and driving on the wrong side of the road, it doesn't sound that much different than a trip to Detroit.Filming will begin this summer in Moscow at producer Timur Bekmambetov's custom-built production facility where film shoots you. (THR)
Even though Katie Gill is fairly new to the acting game, she's been on all three "CSIs". That's a lot of hip procedural drama and Who music to have on one person's resume. A word from Katie: "CSI: NY is my favorite."You picked Sinise over Caruso?! For shaaaame. I bet Caruso would have something clever to say about this, but I have neither the time nor the patience to come up with it.Take off your sunglasses to check out the pics after the jump.
Square jaws, impeccable scruff, squinty eyes, and mussed hair. It's a David Cronenberg film come to life.
"She's anatomically perfect and she's all mine."Modern Family's Ty Burrell is in final negotiations to star in Butter, a satire about the cut-throat world of competitive butter sculpting. The movie, which also stars Jennifer Garner as his glory-seeking wife, is actually an allegory for the 2008 Presidential primaries with Burrell appearing as a Bill Clinton parody who is forced to step down from his position of butter sculpting champ.Wait. A movie that makes you look smart while you secretly daydream about the creamy taste of fresh butter? Brett Ratner is going to get soooo laid on date night. (Variety)
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It looks like Jerry Bruckheimer has found a kinship with writers Carlo Bernard and Doug Miro. The pair wrote his next two blockbusters, Prince of Persia and The Sorcerer's Apprentice, and now he has them on the hook to write a third National Treasure film for director Jon Turteltaub.When reached for fictional comment, not-real Jerry Bruckheimer had this to say:"The National Treasure films have always displayed a reckless abandon for all semblance of reality. After seeing how Carlo and Doug laughed in the face of physics and history with their other works, Jon and I knew they were the d-bags for the job. It also helps that they can't capture the way people actually talk."No plot specifics have been released yet but we'll keep you posted on Nicolas Cage's hunt for William Henry Harrison's gold or whatever it turns out to be.In the interest of full disclosure, I made that earlier quote up. (Coming Soon)
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Because this turned out so well. An official sanction from LucasFilms has made it okay to laugh at Star Wars. Not the films though. You must remain stone-faced while Hayden Christiansen delivers dialogue and when rubber puppets pop up during the pod race. That is law. What you can laugh at is a new animated series being developed by LucasFilms themselves to presumably cash in on the recent franchise-skewering made popular by "Robot Chicken" and "Family Guy." And the best way to do that is to hire Seth Green and Matthew Seinreich from "Robot Chicken." I posit, however, that the best way to ensure hilarity is to farm it out to France. (Variety)
It made sense to produce a porn parody of box office juggernaut Avatar and television sensations "Dexter" and "The Jersey Shore", but I can't say that The Big Lebowski deserves the same NSFW treatment. Never ever never not even once during a viewing of the Cohen Brothers film have I thought a cut to rough penetration was mysteriously absent. But hell, give the people what they want, and apparently the people want The Dude naked. I just thank my lucky stars they found someone to replace Tara Reid. No one needs to see that Frankenstein body floppin' around.
Melissa Ordway modeled in various campaigns including Sketchers, Old Navy, and David's Bridal and has acted in 17 Again and on the television series "Privileged." She also looks good half-naked on the beach during sunset. A word from Melissa: "She expresses her hurt through being very mean and vengeful to Ronnie." I'm sure Ronnie deserved it. He always makes fun of the slow kid who works at the grocery store. No, I don't care if we're talking about the same Ronnie. More pics of Melissa after the jump.
Isaiah Mustafa the deodorant-shilling equestrian du jour, has been cast in Tyler Perry's next project. The former NFL player turned weird guy on a horse will appear in Perry's adaptation of his play Tyler Perry's Colored Girls Who Have Considered Suicide When The Rainbow Is Enuf. Pfft, whatever hippie.Mustafa appeared on Oprah's talk show to discuss his newfound fame when Perry himself showed up to offer him the role. It's unclear where Mustafa will fit in with the all-star cast made up of Janet Jackson, Mariah Carey, Whoopi Goldberg, Phylicia Rashad and Anika Noni Rose, which originally featured no male roles. I'm sure he will fit right in though. As long as he doesn't cause Madea to have to take off her earrings. God forbid any man suffer that fate. Elsewhere, Orlando Jones has been cast in real-life as "Who?" (Cinema Blend)
Anna Friel had to wash the smell of Land of the Lost out of her hair by doing theater in London's West End, but she's now returning to Hollywood with a role in Dark Fields. In the film, Bradley Cooper plays a washed-up writer who comes across a drug that makes him more intelligentier smarter. After reaping the rewards of being a know-it-all and schooling his peers at Cranium, he finds the drug has lethal consequences.Friel will play his ex-wife. Robert De Niro and Abbie Cornish are also on board to star in the thriller by Neil Burger. (THR)
I hate reporting on stuff that ISN'T happening, but it's a slow news weekend and I thought you could use a picture of some stellar cleavage. Emily Blunt has officially passed on the role of Peggy Carter in Captain America. Most likely she prefers money in exchange for her services, and Marvel is notorious for hating to give up theirs. If they could pay their actors with t-shirts from the swag room they'd jump at the opportunity.Now that Emily is out, Kiera Knightley and Alice Eve are the top contenders. Isn't everyone like sooooo over Knightley yet? I want my Peggy Carter to have some meet on her bones. If Kiera gets any skinner she's going to have to develop a coke habit. Not because she should do drugs, she just needs a cooler explanation than genetics. (/Film)
Back in 1776 they had zero tolerance for street musicians. Here are your weekend links.The 'Inglourious Basterds' Clapper Board (Moviefone)8 Randomly Encountered Chatroulette Hotties (Asylum)Charlie Sheen Leaving 'Two and a Half Men'? (PopEater)25 Funny Crucifixes (HolyTaco)Tron Party in San Francisco! (FilmDrunk)Cool Gallery of Futurama Cosplay (Unreality)Cheerleading at its Finest (TotalProSports)Release the Crack-en a.k.a Booties! (Maxim)5 Pairs of Boobies You Have to See (Smosh)New Avatar 2 Trailer (CelebJihad)Thiago Alves's Brain Surgery Video-Blog (CagePotato)Miley Cyrus Career Assessment (Pajiba)Gay Ray, The Reggae Gay (Atom)How to Join the Mafia (MadeMan)NASCAR Prop Bets, Version Two (AllLeftTurns)
She'll grow out of it. There's finally a trailer for Vincenzo Natali's eery sci-fi/horror Splice, that movie with Adrien Brody and the hot, bald chick with the mouth in her scalp (still kinda hot though). The movie impressed at Sundance and will see wide release on June 4th as a result. The film warns against the dangers of queefing in the face of God and law by creating your own monstrous human-animal hybrid. So seriously, guys. Don't do that kind of thing. Did Species teach you nothing? Check out the trailer after the jump.
Director: Vincenzo NataliCast: Adrian Brody, Sarah PolleySynopsis: Elsa and Clive, two young rebellious scientists, defy legal and ethical boundaries and forge ahead with a dangerous experiment: splicing together human and animal DNA to create a new organism.Release Date: June 5, 2010