News - Page 229

Black20 has had some viral internet GOLD. They have brought us such wonders as The PG Version Of 300 and Journey At the Center of The Earth. This is a quasi mashup recut of Saw and High School Musical.

Zack and Miri Make a Porno: Star Whores – Watch more free videos

Here’s an exclusive clip from Role Models. I saw an early screening of it and did a review. It blew my mind. You an read my review here.

Is it just me or has The Daily Show increased their funniness factor by like elevendy billion lately? There are so many good jokes in this one. Just watch the whole thing.

Call me a little bitch, but I never caught on to this whole Guitar Hero thing. I think my problem with it is that people who are really good at it are the opposite of Heroes. They should make a new game called “King Of Fake Guitar Playing Mountain Dew Gives Me Acne What Does A Boobie Feel Like.”  

  Sho'nuff! It’s Samuel L.

One of the main reasons that the world has been in economic turmoil is because Jack Bauer has been hiding somewhere, not taking things to the limit to protect all of us from dangerous things like terrorists and angry dogs.  I look forward to January when he is BACK in action and and all the jobs come back to AMERICA where they are safe.

I really can’t tell how much of the controversy surrounding Zack And Miri was real versus made up by the studio to promote the film. Either way, Seth makes some great points about the whole issue.

Guys, I can NOT express how important it is for you to get out there and NOT vote this election. Voting is the reason that the economy is in shambles. Voting is what killed Heath Ledger. Voting was the associate producer of Beverly Hills Chihuahua.  Only you as an indivdual have the power to prevent these things from ever happening again.

This is probably the best thing that The Simpsons has done in a long time.  This is from the forthcoming 19th installment of the 'Treehouse of Horror.' Does that make you feel old?

I’m sorry to startle everyone this early. But it looks like…wait, are you sitting down? You should be, because you are using a computer. Nobody stands at a computer. Maybe scientists?  Anyway, looks like Joaquin Phoenix is going to quit acting. To work on his music.  Great move buddy.

Lycans, aka werewolves with "enhanced strength, speed and regeneration abilities", are revolting against their discriminatory vampire masters in this the third installment of the Underworld series.  It explores the origins of the age old monster rivalry between vamps and Lycans, with a vampire babe and all out rumbles to the death. 

You don’t mess with the Kung Fu Jesus. You just dont. That’s all, my disciples. Here are thine links. Click of them how you will. Now go forth and be bountiful in your mention of our hallowed site, and spread the word of Junkies.

Looks like this one is going to be a bullet for this year’s Oscars, or so says the blogosphere.

Ok. Not sure how many Jr. Economists we have in our readership. Or even advanced free market theorists.  But when the big Alan G speaks, the world listens. And what did he say this time?

People, we live in strange times.  Florida is leaning toward voting a black man into the oval office. The economy finally said “Oh, I got you GOOD BITCHES! Earnings? Whatever!”  And it looks like Paramount is fast tracking the new Footloose. I pray every night that they name it Footlooser. And every morning, we put the news together for you. 

His name alone drops panties from the pools of Palm Springs to the board rooms of Madison Avenue. He is Don Draper, and reasons for his success can be found in the above video. They are simple. And these are his preferred links.

We’re trying to at least keep it sort of Halloween up in this bitch. And what better way than this selection for our weekly mashup. Not only is it thematically relevant, its technically superb and goddamn funny. Mwwwwwaaaaa haaaa haaaaa haaaaaa etc.

I never saw Cloverfield because I heard that people were totally vomiting in the theatre. And whenever I smell vomit, it makes me want to vomit.  Now having seen this South Park clip, I feel like I’ve seen the movie. Awesome.

Monday Morning. A time for reflection. A time too look back over the weekend and wonder if you made all the right moves, if you did your best keg stand and provided reliable wingman services for your bros. A time for the morning links.

Ben over at CAGEPOTATO.COM has some coverage of last night's UFC fight. I love the way that Bruce Buffer has to rattle off all of the advertiser blurbs before this main event.

I was thinking about how it’s going to be lame that I have to spend all my weekend moving. Then I saw this new trailer for Notorious and I was reminded how lucky I am not to be a fat dead rapper who doesn’t even get to move into a new apartment because they are dead. Time to start drinking. Here are your links.

This is a post from Holy Taco. Click on the image for the full version. So genius.

Will Ferrell’s impersonation of bush is not the best, but it is the most hilarious.  The writing is great on this one, seriously. I've been really impressed this season. Now I'm going to go have three Xanex and a Silver Bullet. God Bless America.

Last night I had one too many Jamesons. I turned on the TV and watched about five minutes of the Chris Rock special on HBO on demand. Then I started packing up the apartment because my girlfriend and I are moving. Are you thrilled? Here’s the morning news, Junkie.

I always figured that the reason tiny animals make you feel good is that if they made you feel bad, there would be a much greater chance of you eating them, and much lesser chance of species actually surviving. Here’s the links.

I put this in our link dump yesterday. But it makes me laugh so hard that I decided that it merits a spot on the homepage. Manhole. 69. Straight face. God bless local news, and the stuff they just don’t catch.

Stupid Chad Carter with his stupid Leukemia, bankrupting the Make A Wish Foundation with his usage of bureaucratic loopholes.  Makes me SO mad. PS, I know I posted an Onion video yesterday. But hells bells they’re on top of their game.