We're through the looking glass here, people. Caligula director Tinto Brass has announced that due to Avatar, the technology now exists to film a Cleveland Steamer in stereoscopic 3D.The Italian erotic director plans to "revisit an abandoned project about a Roman emperor that was ruined by Americans, and go from there." It's obvious that Brass has sour grapes (hehe) with his Caligula partners, who added hardcore sex scenes without his consent to the famously terrible film. The movie was so bad in fact, that Roger Ebert referred to it as "sickening, utterly worthless, shameful trash," and "the worst piece of sh*t I've ever masturbated to." Just because we have the ability, doesn't necessarily mean that we should use it. As technology burgeons, this debate will continue and deserves considerable thought. We need to be careful how we move forward as a society with cloning, stem cells, nuclear weapons, and the illusion that a vagina is squirting directly at you. (THR)
A new poster for Hot Tub Time Machine goes beyond the red band trailer to reveal the secret of time travel. Scientists are going to kick their own asses in the balls when they see how simple the formula was all along. Using simple algebra, one combines energy drink, vodka, and a squirrel. Add that to four mismatched friends and divide the sum by a hot tub.Let's sincerely hope those components do not actually unlock space and time. Ted Nugent probably has a hot tub and more than likely he's tripping over crunk juice and squirrels. I don't want to imagine a reality where he has traveled back through time and become our overlord. He'll hunt us all. (EW)
Somewhere Kevin Smith smokes wistfully.After 31 years of bringing groundbreaking, original films and the Scary Movies to a national audience, independent film studio Miramax will shutter its doors. The New York and LA offices will close today and 80 staff members will be dismissed.In other news, J.D. Salinger passed away today at the age of 91.File photoThe famous author and recluse would have taken particular joy in seeing a movie studio closed. It's a shame he didn't hang on a little bit longer to enjoy this moment. Though I guess it's for the best. The smile frozen on his corpse would really freak out all the little ones at his wake. (The Wrap)
The world sure has changed since the 1980's. Gordon Gekko sees this first-hand, as he is released from prison in the teaser for Oliver Stone's Wall Street 2: Money Never Sleeps. It seems that black people are now permitted to be passengers in limousines rather than being relegated to the role of sass-mouthed driver. Greed has been legalized. Text-projected-unnecessarily-on-face technology has grown by leaps and bounds. As has cell phone technology as Gekko learns in a wink-wink That 80's Show-inspired bit. Also, Brand from The Goonies appears to have done pretty well for himself. Seriously though, if only Michael Douglas knew somebody of Welsh descent with ties to T-Mobile. Dude's in need of a nationwide 3G network with flexible contracts like whoa. Check out the trailer, and Douglas's Zack Morris phone, after the jump.
MacGruber Set Full of Hotties – Watch more Funny VideosThe one thing about MacGruber, there's a whole lotta hotties with bodies on set. Don't believe me? Check out this behind the scenes footage narrated by the film's director Jorma Taccone. He's quick to point out all the dirty tail struttin' around the premises. Some people give it up so easily. No self-respect. (TVSquad)
If you say Zac Efron really fast, it sounds like the name of a pharmaceutical. Like, side effects of Zacefron may cause jazz hands. But that's besides the point. The point of this article is that the High School Musical, Me and Orson Welles star is trying the action genre on for size.In Fire, Efron plays a college student recruited by the CIA to work as an assassin around the world. Things get complicated when he learns that NAMBLA has set their sights on him he himself may be targeted for assassination. That's an intriguing premise and Brian Michael Bendis, the writer, has a sharp style so let's hope this will be more Bourne and less Agent Cody Banks. We won't know for sure until we can safely say that Corbin Bleu has been barred from the set. (Deadline Hollywood)
Quigley Trailer Stars Gary Busey as a Dog – Watch more Funny VideosThis movie actually exists. Quigley stars Gary Busey as a cold-hearted, dog-hating billionaire who dies and is reincarnated on Earth as a Pomeranian that has an affinity for video games. BUY IT NOW.These links also exist.25 Funny Tombstones (HolyTaco) Shirts Optional in the Blackhawks Party Limo (TotalProSports) Even More Hot Girls on Facebook (TheChive) It's Okay to Play with These Bond Girl Barbies (Moviefone) 21 Awesome Jelly Bean Portraits (Maxim) The Darker Side of Siskel & Ebert (FilmDrunk) 20 Unfortunate CAPTCHAs (SuperTremendous) Ten Worst Movies of 2010 (Pajiba) Jen Aniston Hiding in Brad Pitt's Bathtub (CelebJihad) Top 5 Movies Based on SNL Sketches (Unreality) Bikini Vegemite Wrestling Gets Messy (Asylum) 6 Woman Who Equal First Date Disaster (RegretfulMorning) All the iPad Info You Require (MadeMan) Why Denny Hamlin's Injury is a Good Thing (AllLeftTurns) Abrams Tank Explodes Suspicious Car (NothingToxic) Buy Apple's iFreak Before It Sells Out (Atom)
Kim Jong-il look-a-like/actress who scared the crap out of six-year old me, Zelda Rubinstein, has passed away. The actress, best known as Tangina in the Poltergeist films, was taken off life support two months ago after two major organs failed her. She eventually succumbed to these ailments earlier today at the age of 76. Tragically, another victim to the rumored Poltergeist curse. It just won't stop until it has Craig T. Nelson in its icy clutches. (Radar)
I did saber toothed tiger fangs 'cause they're funnier. Leave the room if you got a problem.Sam Worthington, who must have made a pact with the Devil to achieve his current "it" status, has signed on to play the "it" vampire in Dracula Year Zero. The film, which is being directed by Alex Proyas (he worked with Nic Cage so we should be good), explores the origin of Dracula in a tragic love story chalk full of love and war shrouded in homoerotic nuance no doubt.Worthington already played a cyborg and an alien, he'll soon be seen as a Greek hero in Clash of the Titans, and now he can add a cape and widow's peak latex cap to his costume drawer. I'd say he's about as versatile an actor as Gary Oldman.As Vince from FilmDrunk would say, "That tastes like a burn."(LatinoReview, THR)
Keanu Reeves has signed on to star in Gabriele Muccino's Passengers, a date-rape love story with a sci-fi bent. Set in the future, Reeves is a member of a crew on board a spacecraft making a 100-year trip to a new planet via cryogenic sleep. 10 years into their journey, he is woken up and doomed to spend the rest of his life on the craft. So what does he do? Well, when fapping gets old he commits the ultimate dick move and wakes up the hottest chick with the hope that she'll want to join the 200,000 Mile High Club with him. But will she want to knock moon-boots once she finds out it was he who woke her? Not if she doesn't find out.We got our hands on an exclusive script excerpt. Check it out:
KEANU REEVES is reluctant to wake up the HOT CHICK. He lightly taps on her cryotube. It gets louder and louder. KEANU Hey… you up? Hey. (beat) You up? (longer beat) HEY!!! HOT CHICK awakes. KEANU Oh, hey. You’re up.(Variety)
Ashley Judd is best known for two things (no, not those two things): being a member of a famous country-singing family, and starring in bad thrillers, usually alongside Morgan Freeman. Now she's battling wits with The Rock in The Tooth Fairy. Nice career move…A word from Ashley: "Those born-and-bred, feisty Kentucky girls—they are the ones you have to look out for. We have sugar and fire in our blood."Those sparkly Twilight vampires love sugar/fire blood. They can't take their blood straight like real men. Check out more sugar/fire combos after the jump.
Mace Windu does not participate in jazz hands.Not content with his many accomplishments in the worlds of film and technology, George Lucas has his eyes on a new prize: to sieze the Sh*ttiest Musical Crown from the producers of Nine. Lucas is reportedly producing a top-secret computer-generated musical about fairies.Yeah. Fairies.Nothing is known about the probably-queeeeer plot except that David Berenbaum (Elf, Spiderwick Chronicles) will be writing, with Kevin Munroe (TMNT) overseeing the direction to ensure the results are totally SPEC-TAC-U-LAR. Lucas could not be reached for comment because a cat is still digesting in his neck-sack. (THR)
Admit it. There are times in the back of your mind when you want the good guy to lose. It's nothing to be ashamed of. Sometimes the star is a just a gigantic wuss who deserves total failure. Here are some that we believe are worth mentioning. 16. Special Agent Starling vs. Hannibal Lecter Eat people, listen to classical music, break out of prison. Repeat. And he killed the principal from Boston Public (everybody wanted to do it; he got there first). Special Agent Starling just ran around and tried to get people out of basement dungeons. Nice work, but there’s no money in it. Plus, I tried Chianti with fava beans. It’s pretty kick ass. 15. Llewelyn Moss vs. Anton ChigurhTry this just once for a job interview. Before you’re called into the office, just fire blast off the doorknob with a CO2 tank. Walk in slowly.
It's a regular 'ol third dimensional bonanza, and Warner Bros. is hot to trot! 3D conversion tests on Clash of the Titans have made studio execs go pee-pee in their pants, so not only are they going forth with a conversion of the entire film, but they're also turning both parts of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows into eye-puncturing 3D.3D conversion expenses have lowered in price, now ONLY $5 MILLION, so the films won't cost more than a small Malibu bungalow to convert. The studios will also absorb an additional $5 million to provide theaters with the awesome glasses that constanstly slip down your face while you're trying to watch the g.d. movie. Maybe they can throw another $2 mill in there to add some nose pads.Warners will push the release of Clash of the Titans one week to April 2 in order to fine tune the depth of Liam Neeson's kracken. (THR)
In December, we had a look at the trailer for Knight & Day, the punny-titled action-comedy starring Tom Cruise and Cameron Diaz. Yesterday, photographers in Long Beach, CA snapped some set photos so apparently the film is not yet in the can. Filming should be finished soon though considering it opens in theaters July 2nd.I'm not entirely sure which scene they were working on yesterday but from judging the photos, I can extrapolate what went down…(Faded Youth via Cinema Blend)
Kristen Bell is almost thirty years-old and could still pass for a teenager. I don't know what kind of salves, or balms, or lotions she's rubbing on her skin, but I would gladly apply it for her. If she can tolerate Russell Brand, surely I won't be a problem. A word from Kristen: "I have the mouth of a sailor."And the face of an angel. I mean…your body is f*ckin' slammin'! Could you understand that better, little Miss. Potty Mouth? Sailors and seamen alike can salute more pics after the jump.
After acquiring the rights to Mortal Kombat this past summer, Warner Bros. is moving ahead with a new film version of the once popular video game. The game tells the story of an ultra-violent fighting tournament, the outcome of which decides Earth's fate. 2009 blacklist screenwriter Oren Uziel is in talks to flush away his new-found credibility by penning the script. Not to be a cynic but this seems like a tough one to inject with any real character or emotion. Let's not forget that this is a series built upon ninjas raining from the sky, punching monsters in the nads, pulling out spines, and cybernetic arms. All qualities that make for a great Japanese film, but over here they just lack nuance. (Bloody Disgusting)
Gladden Entertainment is looking to milk the cash-corpse that is Weekend at Bernie's. In addition to their announced Mannequin remake, the company is also looking to dig up and drag the famous cadaver around the Hamptons for another go-round. Between that and Short Circuit and Gremlins, the 80's are back and nothing is sacred. Fingers crossed we don't see Dax Shepard in a Raising Arizona remake anytime soon. The new Weekend at Bernie's is said to be a remake of the original with no cast or crew yet in place, and it may seem like an unnecessary do-over at first. However, I can totally see where they're coming from. The original Weekend At Bernie's left us with a lot of unanswered questions and now that film technology has finally caught up to the premise, perhaps we'll finally see an accurate depiction of a dead guy getting hit in the nuts by a buoy while waterskiing. (Moviehole)
All these prisoners are gathered together in the yard and NO ONE gets shanked? They need to concentrate less on prancing around like little sissies and more on racial hatred and population control. They're giving convicts a bad name.Moonwalk all over these links.25 Cat Fails (HolyTaco)Worst Phantom Soccer Goal Video Ever (TotalProSports)Your Remote Control Hummer is SWEET, Dude (TheChive)Where's the 'Do the Right Thing' Cast Now? (Moviefone)Maxim.com's Hottest Brunettes (Maxim)Lionsgate Buys Ryan Reynolds Torture Porn (FilmDrunk)The Jumbo Animatronic Dog Shakes (SuperTremendous)5 Coping Strategies to Deal with the Break-Up of Brangelina (Pajiba)Miley Cyrus Sells Her Dog (CelebJihad)10 Optical Illusions That Mess Your Brain Up (Unreality)Spider-Man in Rubber (Asylum)Chuck Norris is in the Habit of Kicking Ass (RegretfulMorning)Harley Davidson's Newest Dark Custom (MadeMan)Sample Questions from NASCAR Driver's License Test (AllLeftTurns)Snow. Girls. Catfight. (NothingToxic)Nick Kroll Has Hooks for Hands (Atom)
Naomi Watts has signed on to star opposite Daniel Craig in Jim Sheridan's Dream House. The title of the film is an ironic pun because the story is actually about a father that moves his family into a murder house. Way to go, Dad.Watts will play the family's neighbor in the small Connecticut town where it is apparently not rare for a house to make a father slaughter his family. Between this and The Haunting In Connecticut, the Martha Stewart State is getting a pretty bad rap. They're gonna have to amp up their key parties if they want to win me back. (THR)
This baby casts itself.Is Zach Galligan's phone about to ring for the first time in a decade (wrong numbers don't count)? Possibly. There's a flimsy rumor floating around the 'Netz that Warner Bros. is gearing up to make a third Gremlins film. Or maybe a remake. And maybe in 3D. Like I said, flimsy.What we do know is that remakes are hot right now and that Gremlins director Joe Dante is getting some positive buzz for his upcoming film The Hole. Though Dante has said in the past that he doubts he'll be welcomed back for another Gremlins film after the cartoonish direction he took with Gremlins 2: The New Batch. Does that mean we'll see a grittier Gremlins? Instead of water, will they reproduce when splashed with the blood of the innocent? Will Gizmo now be voiced by Christian Bale?? Actually, I kind of like that. Someone get Robert Rodriguez on this! (Market Saw)
Mel Gibson is to revenge movies what Jenna Jameson is to porn. The man has spent half of his career playing characters hell-bent on getting payback. To drive the point home, one of his movies is actually called Payback. In his latest film, Edge of Darkness, Gibson continues to indulge his sadistic revenge fetish. Based on the British T.V. series of the same name, the film follows a cop hunting down the men who killed his daughter. After all, for a revenge film to work the protagonist has to experience a great tragedy. And when it comes to tragedy, the loss of a child is at the top of the list. With that in mind, we thought we’d take a look at the greatest parental revenge films of all time. Mad Max (1979)
Looks like Russell Brand has a new excuse to go flirt with the crones on The View. He'll be loaning his British accent to the upcoming live-action/CGI hybrid flipper-baby I Hop, from director Tim Hill of Garfield and Chipmunks infamy. In the film, Brand voices the Easter Bunny who is accidentally injured by James Marsden's Fred, an out-of-work slacker. Fred must then take in the Bunny until he recovers. At first it's rough going but in the end they both learn some important life lessons. Awwwww. I smell a sitcom! Or something far, far worse!!! Everyone check your shoes. (THR)
Alan Horn, the President of WB Studios, crushed dreams the other day by announcing in a Variety article that Part 1 of The Hobbit most likely won't be released until late 2012, a full year later than expected:Once the script for the second film is in — Jackson and his longtime collaborators Fran Walsh and Philippa Boyens are working on it with Del Toro — New Line will work up a budget for both films and start casting. New Line exec Michael Disco, who was once Emmerich's assistant, will oversee for the studio.Horn won't predict when the first of the two "Hobbit" films will be out, but says the most probable scenario would be a release in the fourth quarter of 2012.In my mind, the most important thing to take from the above quotes is that a man named Michael DISCO is overseeing for the studio. I refuse to accept that as a surname unless you're a C-list porn star. Either this is going to be the grooooviest adaptation of a J.R.R. Tolkien novel ever, or Bilbo's going to pull of a money shot that will make Peter North blush.
It wasn't the paralysis that pushed him to the edge, but Tommy's stilted dialogue. Here are your weekend links.25 Clever Exam Answers (HolyTaco)Hockey's 10 Most Creative Shootout Goals (TotalProSports)These Facebook Girls Must Have Lower Back Issues (TheChive)Guess Those Video Game Panties (Maxim)The Creepiest Old Ladies in Movies (MovieFone)Brendan Fraser's Dork Laugh: The Remix (FilmDrunk)20 People Whose Parents Don't Love Them (SuperTremendous)Should You Give Up Cable TV? (Pajiba)Taylor Momsen Dresses Like a Cheap Call Girl (CelebJihad)10 Misuses of the Laugh Track (Unreality)ALF is Now on Twitter (Asylum)This Cat Says, "Om nom nom" When It Eats (RegretfulMorning)The Psychology of 4 Guy Movies (MadeMan)Driver Sues NASCAR for Being Called Klansman (AllLeftTurns)Soccer Fan Gets His Ass Kicked (NothingToxic)Get Down to the IKEA Song (Atom)
Like Seann William Scott and Billy Bob Thornton, and Jonathan Taylor Thomas and Chevy Chase before them, Jonah Hill and John C. Reilly have joined the ranks of sons and suitors sparring in The Great MILF War. In the trailer for The Duplass Brothers' new film Cyrus, we see Reilly drop his Will Ferrell impression in favor of a fresher, more self-referential Seth Rogen impression in order to play a down-on-his-luck guy who woos Marisa Tomei only to be repeatedly c-blocked by Jonah Hill, who plays her adult son. It looks pretty funny and unsettling and avoids the bee's nest to the groin approach to comedy that these movies often cater to. If you're into that sort of thing you'll have to wait for Brendan Fraser's Furry Vengeance. It's the true tale of what happens when a man's hairplugs rise up against him. Check out the trailer after the jump. Or if you're at Sundance, go see the film.
Keri Russell hit it big playing Felicity on one of J.J. Abrams's first shows Felicity. Her hair was such a major part of her and the show’s appeal that rating plummeted when she cut it short, thus proving audiences don't understand how hair works.A word from Keri: "People still take (the haircut) really personally. They come up to me at breakfast places like, 'When are you growing your hair back?"It grows back, crazies! It's not like she hacked her arm off. I can understand how a stump would be off-putting, but let the woman have short hair.Check Keri out with long locks after the jump.
"Somebody tell Pesci to get off my wife's leg."Martin Scorsese is reteaming with producer Graham King (The Departed) to adapt The Invention of Hugo Cabret as his next project after Shutter Island. The Brian Selznick book is being adapted by John Logan and tells the story of a 12-year old orphan who lives in a Parisian train station who tries to fix his dead father's broken robot. I'm interested to see what Scorsese does with this youth-slanted source material. Up until this point, children have had to rely on Sesame Street characters acting out scenes from Casino if they want to enjoy the director's work. Man, that Ernie is not to be f*cked with. (Variety) Bert and Ernie Join the Mafia – Watch more Funny Videos
It's so refreshing to wake up and see a story about the non-Tonight Show Conan. Lionsgate has cast the lead for their upcoming remake of the barbarian classic Conan. And the new barbarian is…. some dude! His name is Jason Momoa. You know him. He's in all those Stargate: Atlantis commercials. He's the Lenny Kravitz-looking guy. The one with the smelly hair. On top of that his resume includes being Lisa Bonet's babby-daddy, Baywatch, and Baywatch: Hawaiian Wedding. He beat out Twilight's Kellan Lutz and Supernatural's Jared Padalecki for the role based on his running-in-slow-motion prowess. Filming is scheduled to begin mid-March in Bulgaria with Marcus Nispel behind the camera. Say what you will, at least it's not Brett Ratner. We'll keep you updated when the rap-rock accompanied trailer premieres. (Deadline Hollywood)