The grizzly-run media's ploy to lull children into a false sense of security in the presence of bears has advanced a giant leap this morning with the announcement that The Berenstain Bears will be updated for the big screen. USA Today reports that Night At The Museum director Shawn Levy plans to produce a part live action, part CGI feature film based off the characters made popular in the books by Jan and Stan Berenstain. "I'd like the film to be un-ironic about its family connections but have a wry comedic sensibility that isn't oblivious to the fact that they're bears," says Levy in a statement that made me need to open up my dictionary. "The comedy comes from this bear family coexisting in a more recognizably real world." This is how it starts, people. One day your children are giggling at the anthropomorphic bears on-screen as they participate in the father-son sack race, the next they're climbing into a windowless van with Pedobear.
Richard Kelly enjoys the macbre and the mindf**k equally. He brings real emotion to his stories, but he also wants you to think…about what the hell is happening in his twisted narratives. And before you begrudgingly scream out "Southland Tales!" at your computer screen, let's just all take a deep breath and give him a pass on that one. And now all the people that liked Southland Tales are probably screaming at their computer screens, so you should also take a deep breath. We're all friends here.
Throughout his film career, director Roland Emmerich has laid waste to several landmarks and institutions — the White House (twice), the Pentagon, New York City, the Golden Gate Bridge, and John Cusack's credibility. In his new film 2012, he smashes and shakes historic sites across the globe to rubble. But we've finally found a building impervious to his computer-generated destruction. In an early draft of the script, Emmerich was planning to level the Kaaba, one of Islam's holiest sites. He pussied out when his cowriter mentioned that inclusion of the scene would more than likely lead to a fatwa on their heads (first of all, grow some balls and secondly, this movie had a writer?). Naturally the disaster-meister opted to eradicate the Vatican and a group of Buddhist monks instead. When asked whether he feared any kind of retaliation for the script change, Emmerich asked, "What are you gonna do about it, Buddhists? Huh? You gonna cry? Buddhists gonna cry? Huh? Huh? Huh?" (Cinema Blend)
Back To The Future Rap – Watch more Funny Videos If you having space/time problems I feel bad for you, son. I got 99 problems but a Biff ain't one. RELATED JUNK: Dope-ass Predator Rap Last night, Darth Vader came down from planet Vulcan and told me that if you don't click these links that he'd melt my brain. What Your Halloween Costume Really Said About You (HolyTaco) Massive Bulgarian Soccer Brawl (TotalProSports) Amercian Fatasses on Scooters (TheChive) Kurt Russell's Star Wars Audition (FilmDrunk) Darth Vader Conducts Icelandic Orchestra (SuperTremendous) 5 Worst Funniest Films Lists on YouTube (Pajiba) Megan Fox in a Tank Top and Daisy Dukes (CelebJihad) "Windows Sucks" YouTube Videos (Unreality) Craziest Movies Characters We'd Still Have Sex With (Asylum) Sarah De Herdt's Porn-ish Behavior (BustedCoverage) 5 Things You Learn After You Turn 21 (RegretfulMorning) How to Start Smoking Cigars (MadeMan) 50 Things More Exciting Than Sunday's Race (AllLeftTurns) Angry Families Rumble at Wedding (NothingToxic) Awkward Guy at the Orgy (Atom)
Things keep getting worse for producers of Terminator: Salvation. Between Christian Bale's blow up, McG's pissing contest with Michael Bay, and the controversy over Moon Bloodgood's handbra, they've received a ton of free press that they couldn't spin into box office gold. Now the Halcyon Holding Group has filed for bankruptcy and is ready to sell the franchise rights to the highest bidder. Apparently all the big studios are lining up to secure the rights. But why? The last two movies were pretty abysmal and The Sarah Connor Chronicles never found the audience it deserved. With Arnie indisposed and special effects breakthroughs having plateaued it's time to face the sad, cold truth. We as a people have to face the fact that killer robots are sooo over. Let us all begrudgingly tear down our Chopping Mall posters and set fire to our I, Robot theater-lobby standees. Today will usher in the age of the friendly (probably farting) robot. But honestly, is there any way to breathe life into Terminator? Preferably one that doesn't involve putting Peter Berg behind the camera? Let us know your thoughts. (The Financial Times)
Why? Why, why, why, why?! JJ Abrams, you had a chance to put the amazingly buxom Diora Baird in a tastefully revealing bra and panties and you decided to NOT put Diora Baird in said lingerie. Do you need to replace the lenses in those stylish black frames of yours? The woman is a ten and you decided to go with a woman who is not Diora Baird:For shaaaaaaaame. Chris Pine and Diora might have had amazing chemistry, but now we'll never know because a robot could have played the role below. Hmmmm a robot Diora Baird… Now there's something that shouldn't have creeped into my imagination. [Topless Robot]
Thanks to the folks at Bloody Disgusting, we get a sneak peak at George Romero's latest attempt to breathe more life into the zombie horror genre (pun blatantly intended). There's everything you'd expect in the trailer below: zombies, humans, guns, brains, stilted dialogue. We don't watch these films for the breakthrough performances though, we watch them because we feel compelled to on the off chance that something blows our brains out of our skull (oh man the puns are so goooood)! Check out the trailer below and let us know what you think. Is Survival of the Dead going to be better than Land of the Dead?
You probably best recogonize Rebecca Mader from her role as Charlotte in LOST, but this Friday she'll be starring opposite The Clooney in Men Who Stare At Goats. There's not doubt that she stands out in a crowd with those long flowing locks of red hair. It must have been so much fun growing up with red hair like that.A word from Rebecca: "Growing up with red hair is not fun."Eeeeeeeee… Don't I have egg on MY face. Well growing up as brunette sometimes isn't fun either. All the kids at my school, Red Headed Kids Only Elementary, always picked on me.See more stellar examples of red headed adulthood after the jump.
"I've given you sunlight… I've given you rain…"Michael Jackson's concert film This Is It predictably topped the box office this weekend given that it had zero competition. However the $20mil domestic take was lower than expected. The low number has prompted nervous filmmakers to expand the film's two week limited run until past Thanksgiving. You see? This is what happens when your star refuses to promote the film in any way, shape, or form. (Reuters)
While talking to Robert Zemeckis about his upcoming film A Christmas Carol, MTV slipped in a question about a Who Framed Roger Rabbit? sequel, and it appears one is in the works. Sure, one's been in the works for two decades now, but now one is really in the works, and with the original writers. Check out what Zemeckis had to say below.
The Overlook Hotel plays host to many spirits, including Steve, the drunk Tennessee Titans season ticket holder. Have a happy Halloweekend with these spooktacular links (and don't forget to turn your clocks back tomorrow):5 Dates That Shouldn't End in Foreplay (RegretfulMorning)Halloween Bingo Card (HolyTaco)Sexy Biljana Biba Table Tennis Player (TotalProSports)Disturbing Sports Injuries (TheChive)Gary Busey Plays the Sax (FilmDrunk)15 Greatest Pro Athlete Candy Bars (SuperTremendous)6 Horror Movies for the Weak (Pajiba)Chris Brown's Shocking Halloween Costume (CelebJihad)10 Hilarious Clips from It's Always Sunny (Unreality)TV's Hottest Ghost-busters (Asylum)Erin Andrews Hot Assistant (BustedCoverage)Build a Celebrity Man Cave (MadeMan)McGrew Earnhardt's Crew Chief in 2010 (AllLeftTurns)Daytime Italian Mafia Assassination (NothingToxic)Zombie Hunting this Halloween? USE THIS! (Not Zombies!)Editor's Halloween Pics (Atom)
The Internet cried foul this past summer when Moon Bloodgood's topless scene was cut from the theatrical version of Terminator: Salvation (UK Title: Terminator: Sorry Chaps, No Titties). Now with the upcoming December 1st release of the unrated Director's Cut DVD, a clip of the scene has found it's way online. And as you can see from the video the result is underwhelming. Hard to believe that Warner's would have to cut this in order to get the PG-13 rating. I could understand if there were a lurid trampoline sequence but this is hardly anything. Then again, I'm pretty desensitized. That's right. I've heard DOZENS of stories about what boobs look like and someday I hope to see some for myself. Some day. (**single sad tear rolls down cheek**)
A teenager is cast in the Mercury Theatre production of "Julius Caesar" directed by a young Orson Welles in 1937
He's played a cannibal, a president, an author, an Englishman, and even a black dude. Now, Sir Anthony Hopkins is in talks to play a Norse Allfather in Kenneth Branagh's Thor. Hopkins is said to be for the role of Odin, father to Thor and his evil adopted brother Loki. We can't think of a better candidate to play the ruler of Asgard. Hopkins has the perfect mix of Gandalf, Santa, and "Stone Cold" Steve Austin needed to pull the role off. (Empire)
Avatar Trailer – Watch more Funny Videos Literally five minutes after we posted the international trailer for Avatar, Yahoo went and posted the domestic one in HD like a bunch of cocky biatches. I apologize for the name calling, Yahoo. You are not cocky biatches… I'm just a lazy biatch. If you like versions of trailers that are sharper, louder, and have less Elvish subtitles in them, than you're sure to prefer this one over the grainy one the foreigners have to watch. And don't you dare call me xenophobic. In Pandora, the blue cat Rastafarians think of xenophobia as a synonym for love. Ride these links like a hybrid pterodactyl dragon! Letters to Annoying People on Halloween (HolyTaco) Yankees Fan and His Crazy Motorized Wheelchair (TotalProSports) You Can Order This Hot Bride Online (TheChive) Marty Krofft is Puffin' Stuff (FilmDrunk) Kitten Eats with Chopsticks (SuperTremendous) Ten Most Badass Jesuses (Pajiba) Kanye West Interrupts Taylor Swift Being a Nazi (CelebJihad) What Disney Taught Us Growing Up (Unreality) Sasha Grey is Wonder Woman for Halloween (Asylum) Susan Was Just Jerkin' Around About Sex for Tickets (BustedCoverage) 25 NSFW Vampire Babes (RegretfulMorning) The Art of Fantasy Football (MadeMan) Kyle Busch is a Bitch Costume (AllLeftTurns)
Yo, yo, yo. You about to get punched in the face with the hottest new track outta Scranton, PA! The new banger from girl pop band Subtle Sexuality (aka Kelly Kapoor and Erin Hannon) has just dropped and it's what the streets has been crying for. You can bump the jam below and check out more on they official website. Ya heaaaaaaard.
Who knew Tony Scott had it in him. According to Variety, Scott has taken a liking to Chippendales, the formal male strippers in bowties, cufflinks, and, a must for any fancy event, leather pants.With a tone similar to the Scott-directed "True Romance," pic will follow the improbable rise and fall of Chippendales creator Steve Banerjee, who went from pumping gas in Culver City to running a high-end nightclub that evolved into Chippendales. After hiring a New York choreographer to polish the all-male dance troupe, Banerjee became wildly rich, as well as unreasonably competitive and paranoid. Banerjee hired a hitman to murder the choreographer when negotiations went sour. After being arrested, Banerjee died in jail awaiting trial.Now that's a Cinderella story if I've ever heard one. Minus the contract killing and all-male dance troupe. In regard to casting, no actors are attached yet, but there's gotta be a part in there somewhere for Denzel Washington. I could show you a photoshopped picture now of Denzel's head on a Chippendale's body, but I'm not gonna 'cause you want it too much.
Invictus Trailer – Watch more Funny VideosThe trailer for the latest Clint Eastwood joint Invictus popped up online today. The inspirational true story stars Morgan Freeman as Nelson Mandela as he tries to unite his racially-separated country by rallying South Africa's underdog rugby team to make a run at the World Cup. Hold on. Morgan Freeman has acted in films for 45 years and he's only NOW playing Nelson Mandela??? How is that possible? That's the role that he and Rose from LOST were born to play.Treat all these links equally… Douchebags of the United States (HolyTaco) Andre Agassi Admits He Used Meth (TotalProSports) Sexy Coeds of the University of Stockholm (TheChive) Sandra Bullock Trying To Steal Poor People's Kids (FilmDrunk) 15 Celebrity Halloween Costume Suggestions (SuperTremendous) Sci Fi Disappointments for $200 (Pajiba) Taylor Swift Parties with Nazis (CelebJihad) Light Sabers Make Everything Cooler (Unreality) The Complete Man Code to Hitting People (Asylum) Yankees-Phillies CraigsList Sex Fiend Amped for Series (BustedCoverage) 7 Semi-Retarded Ads for Your Penis (RegretfulMorning) Natural Hangover Cures (MadeMan) Talladega Crash Videos (AllLeftTurns) Construction Worker Has Fatal Accident (NothingToxic) Intercourse with a Vampire (Atom)
Peace indeed, Corey Feldman. He's getting the big peace out from his Playboy model wife, Susannah Feldman, who just filed for divorce from the childhood actor/adult reality TV star. According to Zimbio:Susannah's flame for Corey was apparently sparked at a young age. She has been quoted as saying, ""I knew I would marry Corey ever since I saw Stand By Me." According to Screen Junkies' unsubstantiated gossip, the official reason for divorce on the document:He's Corey Feldman.We've also heard reports that Susannah was tired of Corey Haim sleeping on their living room couch. Two Coreys is apparently just too much. I know because I've accidently flipped past The Two Coreys.
The NFL. Sure, it has its merits. But up until a short while ago, it was still a passive experience. Then along comes Fantasy Football. And, lo and behold, with it came a reason to tune into every single NFL game from every week, because the outcome of every play meant – and probably still means – the possibility of whipping shit on your friend for your obvious superiority in selecting the most chemically perfect formula of football players who are clearly executing the specific plan that you personally have designed for them. It's like rocket science… but with heart and concussions.
Before I Self Destruct Trailer – Watch more Funny Videos 50 Cent can now rightfully don an askew director's cap as he has just released the trailer for his directorial debut Before I Self Destruct. Curtis Jackson aka Fitty aka Mr. Ferrari also stars in the low budget flick where he shows off his acting range (For instance, in some scenes he holds a gun and in others he does not). Beyond that it just seems like inaudible mumbling. And if 50 Cent's albums are any indication, inaudible mumbling sells like hotcakes. The cops is at your Nana's house. Hide out with these links… 10 People That Will Definitely Be On Your Next Flight (HolyTaco) 20 Gruesome Sports Injuries (TotalProSports) Where The Wild Things Are Girl Revealed! (TheChive) Pulp Fiction Sound FX Mashup Is Legit (FilmDrunk) 10 Great Movies You'll Never Watch Again (Pajiba) Amy Winehouse Needs To Mind Her New Breasts (CelebJihad) 15 Zombie Road Signs (Unreality) How To Make Your Own Beer Pong Table (Asylum) Proof That MLS Fans Are Pussies (BustedCoverage) Tribute To Girls In Referee Outfits (RegretfulMorning) Is She Playing Hard To Get? (MadeMan) Win $200 In NASCAR Halloween Costume Contest (AllLeftTurns)
Paranormal Activity is an undoubted success. It cost $11,000 to make and has raked in over $62 million at the box office. I don't have a calculator on hand but when you do the math the profits equal a f*ckload. Of course a sequel is being talked about but more importantly the attention has warranted a pornographic knock-off. Or knockers-off, in this case:Dread Central has alerted us to Jim Wynorski's Para-Knocker's Activity. Yes, the Spielberg of Boob Cinema is taking on the ghost genre and giving it a kinky edge. Filming is slated to begin right after Halloween (presumably because Halloween props will be marked down). Look for it this Spring at the Cans Film Festival.
When in doubt of who would be perfect to remake a classic, get the guy who directed Paul Blart: Mall Cop. Steve Carr already directed Are We Done Yet, the…
The TV Subtitling Industry is set to make a bundle this January as mumbly British comic Ricky Gervais has been hired to host the 67th Annual Golden Globe Awards. This comes as no surprise as The Office star has crushed as a presenter at the Emmys for the last few years. Apparently, he's been approached to host other awards shows in the past but never had an interest. In a statement, Gervais… err… stated: "I have resisted many other offers like this, but there are just some things you don't turn down. Not only is this the biggest Hollywood celebration of the industry which includes both film and TV, but also an environment where I feel I can get free reign as a host."The noms for this year's Globes will be announced in December. Gervais appeared most recently in The Invention of Lying and will be seen next in his day-to-day life looking like a human/mole hybrid. (First Showing)
Chris Farley & David Spade Direct TV Commercial – Watch more Funny Videos Direct TV has a new ad that re-creates the "Fat Guy In A Little Coat" scene from Tommy Boy. Many feel the ad is in poor taste given Chris Farley's sad end and are appalled that David Spade would take part. However, in Spade's defense the cable provider did get the consent of the Farley family before he accepted all that blood money. Regardless of your stance on the ethics of advertising, I think that the real lesson here is that life is fleeting and can be torn away from us at any time. Like so many little coats. [Asylum] Get a good look at the butcher's ass by shoving your head up these links: 7 Best Maury Povich Paternity Result Reactions (HolyTaco) Mark Sanchez Sneaks A Sideline Hot Dog (TotalProSports) Courage Wolf, Advice You Can Count On (TheChive) Brett Ratner's Girlfriend In Playboy (FilmDrunk) 15 Horrifying Baby Halloween Costumes (SuperTremendous) The Stink Of The Adam Sandler Curse (Pajiba) Miranda Kerr Poses On A Rooftop (CelebJihad) A Collection of Videos That Make Fun Of Michael Bay (Unreality) Political Halloween Costumes (Asylum) 10 Naughty NSFW Pumpkin Pics (RegretfulMorning) 5 Performance Driving Moves To Lose Cops (MadeMan) Earnhardt Losing Streak Reaches 53 (AllLeftTurns) Woman Pulls Whole Shelf Of Alchohol On Herself (NothingToxic) The Greatest Action Movie That Never Was (Atom)
According to io9, James Cameron may have spontaneuously come up with the concept for Avatar after reading Poul Anderson's 1957 sci fi novella Call Me Joe, and then conveniently forgetting that he read it:Like Avatar, Call Me Joe centers on a paraplegic — Ed Anglesey — who telepathically connects with an artificially created life form in order to explore a harsh planet (in this case, Jupiter). Anglesey, like Avatar's Jake Sully, revels in the freedom and strength of his artificial created body, battles predators on the surface of Jupiter, and gradually goes native as he spends more time connected to his artificial body.Cameron is no stranger to accusations of plagiary. After Terminator's release, writer Harlan Ellison sued the production company for ripping off two episodes he wrote for The Outer Limits. The company settled and Ellison is acknowledged in the film's credits.As far as Avatar is concerned, at least Cameron had the creative insight to change the name of the title from Call Me Joe. Sounds like a biopic of Joe The Plumber, who would undoubtedly be played by a bald Tim Allen.
Paul Haggis is best known as the Academy Award-winning writer and director of the 2004's Crash aka the Love Actually: Racist Edition. He's not as well known for his dance moves but trust me, dude does a sick robot. Anyhow, the writer/director/dance-fiend is in the news today because he has decided to end his 35 year relationship with Scientology. Incensed that the San Diego's branch of the Church has supported Propostion 8, the anti-gay marriage ballot, Haggis wrote an angry letter to church spokesman Tommy Davis. Here is an excerpt of the controversial letter: "Why are you so dumb?" Oops. Sorry I paraphrased. Here's the actually excerpt: “As you know, for ten months now I have been writing to ask you to make a public statement denouncing the actions of the Church of Scientology of San Diego. […] I called and wrote and implored you, as the official spokesman of the church, to condemn their actions. I told you I could not, in good conscience, be a member of an organization where gay-bashing was tolerated. [...] The church’s refusal to denounce the actions of these bigots, hypocrites and homophobes is cowardly. I can think of no other word. Silence is consent, Tommy. I refuse to consent.”Many members of Hollywood were very vocal in their opposition to Prop 8. Will Haggis's leaving the Church inspire others to jump ship or will it inspire Hollywood to turn its back on Paul Haggis? When making your decision please note that unlike Xenu, Haggis doesn't have his own spacecraft. I think he has a Saab or something. [THR]
Arrested Development creator Mitch Hurwitz has been silent thus far in the back-and-forth speculation on whether or not the cult favorite will find its way to the big screen. Until now. While appearing on a panel alongside series executive producer and Hollywood's beloved ginger Ron Howard, he was asked about the status of the film. Hurwitz confirmed that it is happening and he will be directing. When pressed for more details, Hurwitz only commented that the script will feature "a heavy jail presence." So there you have it. Once again, not much substantial info. The stars haven't been contacted and the project doesn't appear on any production schedules. So let's reclassify this one from a "Maybe" to a "Strongish Maybe Kinda". Don't let this one linger in Production Limbo too long. It very well may be our last chance to see Scott Baio on the big screen. (The Playlist)
Above photo taken right before Donald Sutherland destroyed BearsharktopusHere are your carnivorous hybrid links!25 Famous Unscary Ghosts (HolyTaco) Marisa Miller Thinks Derrick Rose Is Sexy (TotalProSports)If ESPN Designed Movie Posters (TheChive)The New A-Team Looks Photoshoppy (FilmDrunk)The Human Jump Rope Looks Painful (SuperTremendous)5 Most Empowered Females Currently On TV (Pajiba)Kim Kardashian Needs To Consider The People Below Her (CelebJihad)'Left 4 Dead 2' Trailer (Unreality)5 Crazy Cool Mental Illnesses (Asylum)Celebrate By Setting A Phillies Fan On Fire (BustedCoverage)6 Ways The Internet F's Up Your Life (RegretfulMorning)In Defense Of Living in Seattle (MadeMan)Dale Earnhardt Jr. Petition (AllLeftTurns)Times Square Badass Fist Fight (NothingToxic)Streaking Obama (Atom)