Jesse Jane need not apply.Best. Casting. Call. Ever. Pirates of the Caribbean 4: On Stranger Tides is looking for a few young ladies with very specific measurements and a fine pair of naturals. Attention all you beautiful-types, if your chesticles stand upright when you're on your backside you need to find another way to fulfill your pirate fantasies. Here is the actual casting breakdown:Beautiful Female Fit Models. Must be 5'7-5'8, Size 4 or 6 – NO BIGGER OR SMALLER. Age 18-25. Must have a lean dancer body. MUST have real breasts. Do not submit if you have implants. This is a show and tell of costumes with the director and the producers. Plan on an entire day of trying on clothes and being photographed.Professional Dancers who are Swimmers. Females ONLY. Age 18-30. All ethnicities. YOU MUST have an extensive dance/swimming resume. We will be shooting in Hawaii.Score one for the girls with high self-esteem! You've shyed away from the temptation of augmentation and look what the universe has delivered in return. You might get to walk through the background of a crowded bar while Johnny Depp stumbles and mumbles to Penelope Cruz in the foreground. Sure, no one will pay a lick of attention to you, but you'll know you helped grant the scene realism. And nice naturals.On that note, may I make a casting suggestion?Now imagine Rosie Jones in a corset. (Moviehole)
No one is really sure what the deal is with Ghostbusters 3. If you listen to Ivan Reitman, Dan Aykroyd, or Harold Ramis, it's moving ahead. If you listen to Bill Murray, it's his nightmare and he wants nothing to do with it. The only thing we know for certain is Reitman is attached to direct. But now comes word that Columbia Pictures wants a younger director on the project (ie: somebody who didn't direct My Super Ex-Girlfriend). From Vulture:"Reitman's old contract still gives him exceptional creative control over the series, including director approval. Therefore, while it’s true that Reitman can’t force Columbia to make Ghostbusters 3 with him, he can make it nearly impossible for the studio to make the film without him." "In fact, a source tells" [Vulture] "that Reitman and all three original principals (Dan Aykroyd, Bill Murray, and Harold Ramis … sorry, Ernie Hudson!) have a deal that says that if any of the four of them don’t like any element of a new Ghostbusters, they can singlehandedly veto and kill the project; it has to be unanimously approved before going forward."Personally, I think it's unlikely we'll ever see another Ghostbusters movie and I'm okay with that. The original two were a great film and an okay sequel that shouldn't exist outside of the 1980's, and the thought of a new generation of Ghostbusters sounds completely lame. The last thing we need to see is the cast of She's Out of My League strapping on proton packs.
USA Today premiered the first production still of the action movie Faster starring Dwayne Johnson, the wrestler with the eyebrow thing. The Rock (Ooooopsie!) plays “an ex-con pursued by cops and killers as he sets out to avenge his brother’s death.” The film also stars Billy Bob Thornton, Carla Gugino, and Moon Bloodgood. Now I can think of two reasons to see this film that each have two reasons to see this film. And no, I'm not talking about testicles.The tag for Faster is "Revenge is the only thing that drives him." Thought provoking stuff, but I think that this guy would disagree:Show your chauffeur some respect Dwaaaayne. (/Film)
Nerds have been on the verge of bonerdom since the above Red Sonja poster was released at Comic-Con in 2008. The status of that project has been unknown since then because Rose McGowan and Robert Rodriguez aren't banging genitals together anymore. Today, news that the actress has been cast in the Conan remake may finally trumpet that project's demise.McGowan has signed on to play a half-woman/half-witch opposite Fake Lenny Kravitz in Marcus Nispel's remake. Does this mean that Red Sonja is officially D.O.A. or does her agent only hang out with geeks and this role will serve as a taste of things to come? As of right now, it's too soon to tell if she will follow Brigitte Nielsen's career path or what the status is of her sleeping with Lil Wayne in season 26 of "The Surreal Life." (Variety)
Brie Larson sings some songs that I think tweens listen to while sipping virgin pina coladas, but you may better recognize her as the angsty daughter on The United States of Tara. Her character is a bratty teen who I want to slap in the mouth and send to her room. Then I silently stifle the quiver of excitement that rushes down my spine.A word from Brie: "I feel so much better just being comfortable with myself and hopefully girls will accept that."Quit letting your publicist whisper jibber jabber in your ear and just inject those toxins in your face already.Brie is all natural (so far) after the jump.
Someone at ShoWest snagged some footage of the new Adam McKay directed comedy The Other Guys starring Mark Wahlberg and Will Ferrell. I'm really digging how Marky Mark is the Cash to Ferrell's Tango. Sure, Wahlberg is playing another ramrod cop, but don't fix it if it ain't broke, yaknowwhatI'msayin'? And Ferrell wears glasses in this film, which I haven't seen him sport in awhile. As long as he doesn't do the whole man-child act again, I'll sit in another darkened theater with him. Here's some context for all you brainiacs:
Scott Pilgrim vs. The World follows Michael Cera as he battles the seven evil ex-boyfriends to win the girl of his dreams. That's a weird approach to romance. "Oh hey. I beat the crap out of all your exes. You're mine now." [honks boob]Anyway, the teaser poster premiered at ShoWest and it depicts Michael Cera hunched over a bass guitar like a homeless person hunched over their own crippling hunger. Either that or he's just been kicked in the nuts. Hmmm, Michael Cera Kicked in the Nuts. After sitting through Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist and Paper Heart, that's a movie I'd pay to see. (ComingSoon)
It's a slow as sh*t news day and the cat looks like Wilford Brimley. Your argument is invalid.Here are today's links.Sci-Fi Blockbusters' Top Secret Working Titles (Moviefone)Look Ma, a Flying Horse! (Asylum)Laughter at Corey Haim's Funeral (PopEater)The 2010 Douchbag Tournament Has Begun! (HolyTaco)Gary Busey is Crazy and It is Amazing (FilmDrunk)10 Strangest Looking Actresses in Hollywood (Unreality)20 Hot Boxing Babes (TotalProSports)The Weirdest Things in Video Game Hell (Maxim)Man Marries Pillow (Smosh)Tiger Woods Announces Return to Cheating (CelebJihad)Kimbo Slice Needs to Come Get Some (CagePotato)Review of 'Showgirls' (Pajiba)The Least Interesting Man in The World (Atom)How to Win a Gunfight (MadeMan)Andretti Sao Paulo Crash (AllLeftTurns)How to Celebrate St. Patrick's Day (RegretfulMorning)
Sasha Grey is starring in a movie that won't bring oxygen deprivation induced tears to her eyes. At least not by her usual means. The porn actress with the gift of no gag plays a Jesus freak in Richard O'Sullivan's horror flick Hallows. O'Sullivan says:"Hallows basically takes the standard kids-in-the-woods-running-from-a-killer genre and flips it on its ear. The deaths aren't random. They're not cookie cutter. Each character dies in a fashion relating to the way they live their life. I'm less interested in gore-for-the-sake-of-gore (although there is gore in this film and plenty of it) than the psychology behind the characters and how they react to what happens. That's why we're happy to be working with Sasha. She's more interested in the psychology behind the action than just the action itself. That's what she conveys in her work in the adult genre, and that's what we're going for in this film."I totally see what he means. When I Googled Sasha's name I came across a picture of her trying to shove a cocktail napkin up her coochie and I thought to myself, "That girl gets the human condition." (DreadCentral)
Ready to dismantle the Third Reich one Nazi at a time.Soon after we reported that Ryan Phillippe was being considered to take on the role of Captain America, news broke that stripper turned streets-stepper-up-to Channing Tatum has also been approached for the role. I must admit that I'm growing tired of writing about this movie day-in and day-out. What if we just cast an Australian who moved here at a young age? That almost counts as American, right?Anyway, I have two very sound reasons why Channing Tatum should not be cast as the First Avenger.Exhibit A:Exhibit B:[fart sound]Regrettably, we'll let you know as this story develops. Be sure to check us out tomorrow afternoon when it's reported that Stifler is being eyeballed for the role. (THR)
Juno Temple is a British actress who's done a lot of British stuff, including Atonement, Notes on a Scandel, and probably Jude Law. What?! She's legal and he's Jude Law. A word from Juno: "I think it’s one of the worst things you can do… take away a child’s innocence." Uggghhh, you're layin' it on kinda thick. I think Jude gets it. He's not going to change. More not so innocent pics after the jump.
"Which one of you wants to be a star?!!!"Have you ever wanted to see the filming of a major motion picture firsthand? Would you like a grown man to scream swears and insults at you through a megaphone?? Do you like box lunches??? Then today could very well be your lucky day.Dreamworks is looking for background talent in the Los Angeles area for Transformers 3 and they're doing so through Craigslist. And before you knock the legitimacy of the posting, I'll have you know that Craigslist is great. It's how I found my apartment and my trademark cold sores.The ad doesn't mention which day or days shooting will take place but it does pay $200. Applicants will be selected on a breast-by-breast basis. Check out the ad HERE. (via Collider)
Darth Vaders Winter Vacation – Watch more Funny VideosYou'd think a Lord would do better with the ladies. Darth Vader's attempt to bag some tail while on vacation proves fruitless, and quite honestly, uber depressing for someone with such a sweet breathing apparatus. Don't drink and dial, Vader. No one wins at that game. (EgoTV)
Martin Scorsese has been busy casting his adaptation of the children's fantasy tale The Invention of Hugo Cabret. Sacha Baron Cohen and Ben Kingsley are in talks to sign on as a train station investigator and famed silent filmmaker George Méliès respectively. Asa Butterfield (The Boy in the Striped Pyjamas) has been hired to portray the lead character, who lives in the walls of a Paris train station while trying to repair his dead father's robotic invention. Up and comer Chloe Moretz is also signed on for the female lead role of Isabelle. Man, between Kick-Ass and Let Me In, 13-year old Chloe Moretz is soooo hot right now. Like, really really hot. I didn't mean it like that, guys. Oh, come on. *sigh* Alright. I'll go warn my neighbors about me. (Deadline)
Dakota is sacrificed to Hollywood.Dreamworks has been searching for some bright-eyed, innocent young person to fill the role of Hugh Jackman's son in Real Steel, and rascal Dakota Goyo emerged "victorious." He's not to be confused with Dakota Fanning, the states of North and South Dakota, or the Dakota Reach-Around, this thing that Wookie does. From THR:DreamWorks, making its first movie under its deal with Disney, issued a public casting call in early February. It also conducted open auditions in Chicago and New York, looking for someone to play a "street-smart, tough, charming kid with a hard, untrusting outer shell which hides a warm enthusiastic spirit beneath."And they had to go to Canada to find him. What, there aren't enough punkass little sh*ts in America to fit your desired Jackman spawn? Gimme five days and I'll give any kid you pick an untrusting outer shell. …The warm, enthusiastic spirit underneath I cannot guarantee.
Why does this exist?It really seems like the casting for The First Avenger: Captain America is going poorly. The bland shortlist comprised of Chris Evans, Garrett Hedlund, Mike Vogel, and Wilson Bethel has reportedly grown longer and more bland. Today there's word that MacGruber's Ryan Phillippe is in the running for the role. Considering Phillippe is 35 years old, he's easily a decade older than the other applicants. It would be a stretch to cast him as a young Steve Rogers, even with his boyish good looks and pouty lips. **splashes face with water, snaps out of it and cancels GQ subscription**Look, I understand that Captain America should be American, but all of our guys suck. In the interest of never having to write about this subject again, can we please just cast an Australian? Or if that won't work, how about a Canadian? That could be a workable solution as long as their eyes aren't too close together. (HitFix)
"Are those Bagel Bites?!!"Columbia is eager to work with David Fincher again after seeing him work on The Social Network. Variety is reporting that he's attached to re-up with the studio for Pawn Sacrifice, a movie about chess nerd Bobby Fischer's 1972 match against Boris Spassky. That sounds exciting, huh? Well, more exciting than Ridley Scott's Monopoly anyway.But Variety is also reporting that Fincher has his eye on the US remake of The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (which sounds more like a Fountains of Wayne song than it does a movie). Also note that Fincher may be involved with the 3D version of Heavy Metal as well as his previously reported HBO series. It's doubtful that he'll take on all these projects due to his demanding schedule. Same old story. You know how he is. I'm still waiting for him to clean out the damn rain gutters like he promised he was gonna do. (Variety)
Rachael Harris has made guest appearances in a ton of TV shows, including "Reno 911" and "The Sarah Silverman Program." She also played Ed Helms' bitchy wife in The Hangover. She's funny, cute, and has a sexy librarian thing going on when she wears glasses. A word from Rachael: "Maybe because I’m an improviser and I was ready for anything that he was going to bring."And she rolls with the punches. What more could you ask for? I'm pretending she's talking about gettin' freaky, and not acting.More sexy librarian pics of Rachael after the jump.
Ron Perlman's face is a photo-cropper's worst nightmare.When it was first reported that Mickey Rourke was joining Marcus Nispel's Conan remake, I was skeptical. The project just seemed to be too much in the B movie realm for Rourke. Also, it must be impossible to insure your film when you have Mickey Rourke and swords on set. But then I just figured that it was a cocaine-based decision and the money was too good to pass up. Sorry Eric Roberts, but Mickey Rourke has a rubber cement habit to support.Since that report, Rourke has dropped out in favor of Gods of War. Hellboy and Season of the Witch star Ron Perlman has stepped in to play Corin in his stead and it seems like a much better fit. Also note that Rachel Nichols and Said Taghmaoui (both of GI Joe) are rounding out the cast. Unless false reports pop up saying that Sir Richard Attenborough is circling the project, we can assume that the film is cast and the universe is balanced once again. (Vulture)
Peter Graves has sailed to that big Turkish prison in the sky.The veteran television and film star has passed away at the age of 83. Fans will recognize Graves for his various roles in over 70 films and television projects. Following a career in radio, Graves moved to Hollywood and eventually landed the role of Jim Phelps in Mission: Impossible. More recently, Graves won an Emmy as the host of Biography.Though Graves left his biggest impression on the world for his memorable role in Airplane! As Captain Oveur he became a comedy hero, with his untoward questions for a young passenger. Peter Graves will be truly missed and his death serves as a reminder that Leslie Nielsen is not imperishable. When that old fart goes, I will be inconsolable.
Opening night of the South by Southwest film festival featured a preview of footage from Predators. Austin local Robert Rodriguez brought a teaser trailer and clip and spoke to the audience about the upcoming sequel. More from him and director Nimrod Antal later, but first some thoughts on the footage. The teaser trailer, which Rodriguez said was likely to release with Repo Men, got the tone of the original Arnold movie right. It’s all shots of the human characters getting stalked. The camera pushes in on their faces as they turn around to face their unseen (for now) attacker. There are a few hints of familiar creature features, and a brief money shot, but it’s all buildup. Check out the teaser and more after the jump.
Burned.Here are your weekend links.10 Most Compelling Interracial Romances (Moviefone)Porn May Be Good for Society (Asylum)A Dramatic Reading of Lady Gaga's 'Telephone' (PopEater)25 A-Peeling Bananas (HolyTaco)Four Minutes of 'Iron Man 2' (FilmDrunk)Life Size Muppets are Terrifying (Unreality)This is One Bad Bruin (TotalProSports)Best Pissed-Off Police Chiefs (Maxim)10 Very Costly Mistakes (Smosh)Lindsay Lohan Suing Pedigree Over Dog Food Ad (CelebJihad)Depressing Photo of the Day: Jens Pulver (CagePotato)Robert Pattinson Career Assessment (Pajiba)Maganzo! (Atom)Top 100 Jobs in America (MadeMan)Everyone Hates Brad Keselowski (AllLeftTurns)
Tom Hanks minus a soul. Robert Zemeckis' obsession with motion capture has reached its glorious end! At least as far as Disney is concerned. After Zemeckis is finished with his film Mars Needs Moms (it's like he was asking for it), ImageMovers Digital will close in 2011. Walt Disney Studio president Alan Bergman says:Bob and the entire IMD team successfully built a state of the art studio and produced an amazing film, A Christmas Carol, at a time when the dynamics of the industry are rapidly changing. But, given today’s economic realities, we need to find alternative ways to bring creative content to audiences and IMD no longer fits into our business model.a.k.a. your characters are creepin' kids out, Bob. I for one am extremely happy to hear this news. Why did the man who brought us Forrest Gump and Tales from the Crypt go apesh*t over sticking dots to professional actors and turning them into animated cyborgs? Never underestimate the importance of pupils on screen. They make us believe the characters have a conscience, even if it's Gary Busey up there. (Deadline)
If Alan Rickman ever holds this guy's Bonnie Bedelia hostage, he'll be ready.
"We need to see BOTH hands, Favreau."Not content with pissing off only black people, Couple's Retreat has sparked a new controversy. A former model is suing NBC Universal for $10 million after discovering her photo was used without permission as a "masturbatory prop" by Jon Favreau's character in Couple's Retreat. In the film, Irina Krupnik's decade-old bikini picture appears in a brochure that Favreau faps to while his wife is in the washroom. Krupnik had signed a general release at the time the picture was taken but never thought it would be used in a "quasi-pornographic context." We would post the picture for reference but the thought of Favreau…. jesus. Let's hope that piece of movie history doesn't end up at Planet Hollywood. I want to enjoy my blackened mahi mahi without that image in my head. (NY Post)
Meghan Markle was case #24 on Deal or No Deal. She's been on 90210, Fringe, and CSI:NY, but I'm sure nothing compares to holding a metal briefcase for Howie Mandel. A word from Meghan: "I was case #24 on Deal or No Deal."That kind of experience can get you hostess work at Bennigans. More winning pics of Meghan after the jump.
Without an actor currently set to portray Steve Rogers, Marvel at least has a nemesis cast to slapbox whoever eventually wins the role. Hugo Weaving is reportedly renting his iconic forehead to the makers of The First Avenger: Captain America. Joe Johnston has hired Weaving to portray the Red Skull, a nefarious character described as, "the most evil man who ever lived. The symbol of hate. The incarnation of torture. A bane to all those who would live free from tyranny. A major dick." The negotiation process is currently underway, but is said to be in a delicate stage. Joe Johnston can't imagine anyone else in the role. "C'mon. Look at that forehead," he commented. "We won't even need prosthetics. It's going to save us hours in the makeup chair." (THR)
The new trailer for Shrek Forever After has hit, and it seems Dreamworks is kickin' it up a notch. Don't worry, it's still a kids' movie. I just try to find the most perverted part of everything and anything, and exploit it. I'm a big fan of the first Shrek, and even the second and third have their moments, but in Shrek Forever After I swear I can hear the staticy sound of crisp Benjamins passing over the mic as the cast counts their residuals. Far Away Land has grown tiresome, and the jokes about the fairy tale creatures we know and love fall flat. Will the Shrek series go out with a bang or a soft, wet fart? Find out May 21, 2010. Check out the donkey on cat action below.
This isn't a done deal yet but there's a lot of speculation that Steven Spielberg will choose Robopocalypse for his next directing gig. Based on an unpublished manuscript, Robopocalypse tells the story of humankind's struggle after the robot uprising. Cloverfield's Drew Goddard is on scripting duties. I'm picturing a mix of War of the Worlds and Schindler's List.Like I said, this is all industry insiders speculating so it could just as easily go away. What I do know is that you can't trust a machine. They could be anyone at anytime.(Deadline)
This little German girl can identify Han Solo using only her tongue. Somewhere in the universe Princess Leia is seething. Don't put these links in your mouth.iPod Nano 'Green Zone' Giveaway! (Moviefone)March Madness Bracketology (Asylum)Heidi Montag Fires Spencer, Hires Psychic (PopEater)Hot Gamer Chicks (HolyTaco)Corey Feldman Auditions for Cry Baby (FilmDrunk)100 Greatest Jewish Movie Moments (Heeb)15 Pokemon Brought to Life (Unreality)Mascot Eats ESPN's Michelle Beadle (TotalProSports)Hot Pics of Alice Eve (Maxim)7 Ways to Hook Up with a Leprechaun (Smosh)Emma Watson Shows Her Thighs to the Paparazzi (CelebJihad)Rachelle Leah to Return as Guest Octagon Girl (CagePotato)10 Most Anticipated Films of SXSW (Pajiba)Unicorns! (Atom)15 Things to Never Do with Your Girl (MadeMan)What Happens to All the Lug Nuts? (AllLeftTurns)7 of the Luckiest Men in America (RegretfulMorning)