OMG! OMG! OMG! (Heavy breathing) The… Iron… Man… 2… Trailer… Ngah… Ngah… Ngah… Is here! It's got Tony Stark, Nick Fury, Mickey Rourke playing a Russian named Heatrash, wait no, WHIPLASH, and War Machine with Don Cheadle inside of it! Iron Man 2 hits theaters May 7th, 2010. Watch the trailer after the jump while I expel the thick mucus building up in my lungs!
I've heard of a night of wild drinking, but this is ridiculous (Rim shot. Fart.)! The new trailer for Hot Tub Time Machine just materialized and it's got a bit of a retro vibe to it. First of all, John Cusack must be having the biggest mindf*cking of his life after being dropped back in to Better Off Dead. After that wild winter why would he ever want to go back to the slopes? Hot Tub stars Cusack, Rob Corddry, Craig Robinson, and Clark Duke as friends who after a night of drinking Red Bulls and vodkas, and supposedly not playing "let's compare penises" in a whirlpool, travel back to the 80s, where all the people they know in the present are younger, and there are cassette tapes. Holy sh*t! My guess is there will be a ton of jokes based on the fact that things are different in the world now. Fingers crossed there's one about ungroomed pubic hair. Women's businesses be nasty back then. Hot Tub Time Machine materializes in theaters March 19th, 2010. Check out the trailer after the jump.
Good God, Johnny Depp, what is wrong with you? Looks like Mama took a bottle of her happy pills and put on some makeup for her rendez-vous with Death. Aces, Tim Burton! You've officially put your stamp on one of the most beloved stories of all time and turned it into a Disney film that's sure to have kids pissing all over their Mickey Mouse bedsheets.
As I reported last week, Peter Jackson and Guillermo del Toro are casting a wide net to find the stars of The Hobbit. Internet rumors then surfaced that contradicted that update. Latino Review claimed that Tobey Maguire would be donning the hairy feet of Bilbo Baggins. Maguire's publicist Kelly Bush has shot those claims down with a resolute "This is false!" Followed by a "boo yeah!" Kelly really isn't very mature. (Movieline)
Entertainment Tonight offered up a first look of the Iron Man 2 trailer, which will supposedly be attached to Sherlock Holmes. So basically it's a preview of a preview and gives you nothing more than what your imagination could have conjured up. But look at Tony Stark fly! Ooooooo!Look at these links! Ooooooo! 25 Strippers Failing (HolyTaco) Kobe and LeBron MVPuppets Are Back At It (TotalProSports) Hot Women of Twitter (TheChive) Mystery Science Theater Guys Hate Zemeckis (FilmDrunk) 20 Toys You Shouldn't Buy Kids for Christmas (SuperTremendous) Olivia Munn is the Perfect Woman (Maxim) Best Indie Films of the Aughts (Pajiba) Girl Who Took Tiger Woods' Virginity Speaks (CelebJihad) A Baby Carriage with Machine Guns (Unreality) Illegal Drugs are Better than Booze and Cigs (Asylum) Rick's Cabaret Strippers Weigh in on Tiger Woods (BustedCoverage) Toddler Gets KO'd by Boobs (RegretfulMorning) $2,500 Nivia for Men Giveaway. Win DJ Hero! (MadeMan) NASCAR Drivers Roast (AllLeftTurns)
You never know what you're going to find when you play a viral video game on a movie website. In this case, it's the first official poster for Christopher Nolan's Inception. "Mysterious" is the first word that comes to mind when my eyes scan over the imagery. A sleek city, a pool of water in the streets, and Leo DiCaprio standing knee-deep in it holding a vibrator. What he's going to do with the sexual device, I have no idea, but it probably plays into the tag of the movie: Your Mind Is The Scene Of The Crime. If they've probed into MY mind, the MPAA is going to have a whole slew of problems with this film.If you'd like to play the game that reveals this poster, you can find it here. First Showing has even provided a strategy guide here. Or you can do none of these things and just enjoy that fact that I've already posted the damn thing for you above. I've even offered a link to some early leaked footage right here.
Legion Christmas Greeting for Grandma – Watch more Funny Videos Holidays can bring out the worst in people. Keep that in mind this Christmas when Grandma tells you that your baby is going to burn (most likely in Hell). Your first instinct will be to rail off and go house on the old bag, but she's old school. She don't fight fair. Legion brings a biblical apocalypse to theaters on January 22nd, 2010. Check out the red band trailer here.
Stacy "Fergie" Ferguson sings the hooks in The Black Eyed Peas songs that make us want to rip our hair out. But she's got a hot body, so I can kind of excuse her involvement with the band. If you want more of her gams, you can check them out in Nine this Christmas.A word from Fergie: "I won’t say how many men I’ve had sex with, but I'm a very sexual person!"I think we all know when women say something as salacious as that the number is well over 1000. Clear evidence that Fergie is a sexual person after the jump.
Wait for Rammstein to lead the charge. Note to directors: heavy metal music isn't always the best accompaniment to your visuals. You think it gets the viewer all amped up, and I'm wondering what the hell a gritty guitar riff has to do with chain mail that isn't part of a S&M scenario. The trailer for the Ridley Scott directed Robin Hood adopts the recently popular convention of making everything rock. Maybe it's because Russell Crowe is fat now and he needs music to make him appear bad-ass. I remember a time when putting down a turkey leg and picking up a dumbbell did that. Get back in the gym, Crowe! It's going to be hard to draw that bow with turkey leg grease on your fingers. The production of Robin Hood has been hampered with so many problems it's amazing that they got a trailer together at all. It gives us a taste of the bandit who steals from the rich and gives to the poor, but it's a taste that tastes an awful lot like other things that Ridley Scott has touched. And I was intending that to mean his sack. Check out the trailer after the jump and let me know if you're down with The Hood.
Thanks to a focus on gimmicky tactics to get butts into theater seats, 3-D cinema is in the middle of its biggest success since its inception. You may not believe this, but 3-D has been around almost as long as movies themselves. But, feature-length theatrical 3-D movies have only been around for about the past 50 years. 3-D has had its ups and downs, but every few years it pops up again, either trying to build on previous successes in the market, or finding a new way to exploit the technology. Sometimes, it's even used to exploit kids' fandom of Michael Jackson (see "Captain EO").I decided to look at a few of the features that have proved important creating 3-D cinematic history – sometimes good, sometimes bad, sometimes very bad.
The Golden Globes 2010 Nominees have been announced and somehow both Old Dogs and Paul Blart: Mall Cop were left off the list. I blame the heartless Hollywood Foreign Press Association. Don't they know that all Seth Green has is his work!Avatar, Inglourious Basterds, and Up in the Air garnered four nominations each but Nine is the front runner with six nominations. Jazzhands. They're like crack to these awards people.CHECK OUT THE FULL LIST OF NOMINEES AFTER THE JUMP
Last week there was news that Mel Gibson was renting a prison in Veracruz, Mexico for a film project. There were no details at the time but today comes news that film is titled, How I Spent My Summer Vacation. The film will star Gibson as a man who can hear what Mexicans think after an accidental electrocution. Just kidding. They don't have electricity in Mexico. Anyhoo…Gibson will not be directing this one. He will, however, be credited as the writer of the film that is actually about a criminal (Gibson) who is sent to a run-down, dirty Mexican prison where he meets and bonds with a nine-year-old boy. Hold on. They have children in Mexican prisons? Does Roman Polanski know about that? Seems like he could have saved himself a lot of belly aching with that knowledge. (Empire)
A new character poster and clip from Kick-Ass has been released with Nic Cage as Big Daddy. No, I swear to you he's Big Daddy and not an earless Batman. I don't want to ruin the clip, but Cage engages in a questionable parental practice. However, I'm a firm believer in what doesn't kill us makes us stronger, so bring on the violent life lessons! Then bring on these kick-ass links! The Hottest Babes in Christmas Movies (HolyTaco) LeBron James Grabs Quick Snack in Stands (TotalProSports) Hot Facebook Girls Abound (TheChive) '09 Hometown Hotties Winner! (Maxim) WB Cuts Kevin Smith's Dicks Off (FilmDrunk) Underwater Jet Takeoff (SuperTremendous) 10 Best Sci-Fi Flicks of the Aughts (Pajiba) Tiger Woods Diagnosed with Restless 3rd Leg Syndrome (CelebJihad) 12 Memorable Subway Scenes in Movies (Unreality) A Loss in 3D is Still a Loss for Dallas Cowboys (BustedCoverage) Don't Rush in to Marriage (RegretfulMorning) The New Leaked Google Phone (MadeMan) Denny Hamlin's Girlfriend (AllLeftTurns) Man Tasered at Crime Scene (NothingToxic) Find Out the Dirty Secret Behind Avatar (Atom)
Screen Junkies caught up with game developer Cliff Bleszinski at Spike's Video Game Awards to discuss Gears of War's jump to the big screen. Len Wiseman has hopped on board to direct the man vs. alien film, but no stars have been attached yet. CliffyB has his own casting ideas that involve a rising action star in the lead and "anyone who can act" as his sidekick. Sorry Rampage Jackson. I guess that discludes you. Check out Bleszinski's dream casting… Cliff Bleszinksi on Casting Gears of War Movie – Watch more Funny VideosWant more video game news? Visit Break's Game Trailer Channel to get your fill of footage.
Last night on the Spike 2009 Video Game Awards, Jake Gyllenhaal stepped out on stage to introduce a one minute sneak peak of his new movie Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time. If you've seen the first trailer, the footage isn't all that exciting. It seems like it was intended for an audience that wouldn't watch or attend the Spike 2009 Video Game Awards because that audience would have most likely seen the first trailer, and they wouldn't appreciate Jake showcasing old footage like it's something to sh*t your pants over. Just saying. Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time blows into theaters May 28th, 2010. Don't let any of it get into your butt crack. And check out the sneak peek below.
Rumor around them Internets is that we'll be seeing a Tron Legacy teaser sooner than expected. This week, actually if the reports are correct. Here's what a far from credible source had to say on the Tron Sector forum:"I work as a projectionist for a theater and Disney sent us a message that we will be receiving both "new" Alice in Wonderland and Tron Legacy trailers to be played with Avatar."You can't always believe what you read online so take this one with a grain of salt. He could be the same guy who tried to convince me that Samuel L. Jackson's Jedi name was going to be 'Retardo Assman.'It does seem like Tron Legacy is beginning its push. Especially when you consider the images released last week, and AICN's report that a new Tron Legacy image will be unveiled on a West Los Angeles street corner today. Let's hope it's quality. Lord knows that enough unsightly images are unveiled on Los Angeles street corners everyday. (via Cinema Blend)
I don't know about you, but I think that off-screen guy looks crazy. The new trailer for The Crazies, starring Timothy Olyphant and Radha Mitchell, has mixed into the web like tainted drinking water, and I'm digging the funny taste. We showed you the first trailer a couple months back of the Breck Eisner remake of the cult George Romero film. The new one has plenty shots of Olyphant offering stupified looks and zombie people jumping at the camera while the music goes DUM! As you may or may not choose to remember, Breck Eisner directed the film Sahara starring Matthew "Shirts Iritate My Skin" McConaughey, so while The Crazies may not live up to those terrifying results, it looks scary nonetheless. The film is about the inhabitants of a small Iowa town suddenly plagued by insanity and then death after a mysterious toxin contaminates their water supply. Overall, it sounds like an amalgamation of Erin Brockovich and Christmas dinner at my mom's house.The Crazies infests theaters February 26th. Check out the trailer after the jump.
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I love Stanley Tucci, in a completely plutonic way. Would I gently rub his bald head? Of course, but just so I could write the headline "Screen Junkies Rubbed Stanley Tucci's Head!" not because I would gain any sexual pleasure from the act. His performance as Mr. Harvey absolutely MAKES The Lovely Bones worth seeing. I was not a fan of the film overall, as it lacked in story depth and fleshed out character arcs, but I would recommend seeing it solely based on Tucci's chilling performance as Susie Salmon's murderer and griller. He puts a little lemon juice on her, some cracked pepper, she's delicious. Because she's salmon. Get it. Yo, whateva. Check out the featurette after the jump of Tucci discussing the difficulty of emboding the role of a monster such as Mr. Harvey. Oddly enough, he didn't like to think like a child murderer/rapist, but boy oh boy does it come through those blue eye contacts of his.
While doing press overseas for Avatar, Sigourney Weaver spoke a little bit about the impending Ghostbusters 3. But did she reveal too much?"I’m afraid to say it [Ghostbusters 3] is happening, I hope people are excited about that. I don’t know if I’m going to be in it, I have had a couple of calls asking ‘would you read the script.’ I might be in it; I see nothing wrong with being in it, although I don’t think I will have a big part. I think Bill Murray has a little more to do with it – he’s a ghost."Oh, thanks a lot Ms. Spoilthemovieforeveryoneelseovitch. Are you sure that Bill Murray is a ghost (or even interested)? Because I was recently promised I'd see him as a zombie and that didn't pan out as expected. If he's only wearing a white sheet in this thing, I'm getting my money back. (Channel 4 via AICN)
YouTube user Vadoskincheg created a masterpiece of modern cinema. He took trailers from over 50 films and melded them together to produce a preview for a movie so epic that no movie theater or even celluloid could contain its utter ferocity. My eyes are bleeding and my ears are still ringing from the first viewing. I'd go back for another, but I fear my mind can process no more. Behold the bombastic trailer of trailers in all its glory below.
Earlier reports that Pride and Prejudice and Zombies would be a television miniseries seem to be nullified today. Variety reports that Natalie Portman is teaming up with Richard Kelly and Lionsgate to bring the project to the big screen. No word yet on when filming will begin. Portman is currently busy having angry sex with Mila Kunis in The Black Swan and then she has Kenneth Branagh's Thor after that. According to Variety:Portman will play feisty heroine Elizabeth Bennet, who is distracted from her quest to eradicate the zombie menace by the arrival of the arrogant Mr. Darcy. Is this some kind of trick? Throwing zombies into classic literature so that I'll see it and maybe learn something?? Not gonna happen. **swigs from gasoline can** (Variety)
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Busey On Board.You'd think he'd have had a court-ordered vasectomy by now but it is being reported that Gary Busey is going to be a dad again. This requires that Gary Busey be allowed near a vagina, but who would sign off on that? The actor/knife aficionado Busey, who once snorted cocaine off a dog's back, announced at the Crazy Heart premiere that his girlfriend Stephanie Sampson is carrying his child. So if you see Busey in the woods handing out cigars to wolves within the next nine months, be sure to congratulate the proud papa. (WENN)
In an effort to promote their new movie, The Slammin' Salmon, the Broken Lizard gang held a salmon chowder eating contest at City Crab & Seafood in New York City. Gluton Bob Shoudt broke the Major League Eating capacity record after eating 2.4 gallons and more than 24 pounds of chowder in 6-minutes. A disgusted and bewildered Michael Clarke Duncan served as guest judge and the Broken Lizards were amateur coaches at the Major League Eating contest. Eater X, Badlands Booker, Crazy Legs Conti and Allen "Shredder" Goldstein competed along with amateur hopefuls. I threw up in my mouth. Never have I seen so much stewed oil, cream, and fish shoveled into an orifice. I hope everyone at this contest felt very bad about themselves after. The human body isn't meant to tolerate so much thick, white liquid. Hence the stomach pump.
Rachel Weisz starred in The Mummy and The Mummy Returns. She's also won an Academy Award. Two facts that have nothing to do with one another. Thank God. A word from Rachel: "People find out I'm an actress and I see that 'whore' look flicker across their eyes." Is that a real thing because I SWEAR I've seen that look in so many eyes and I thought I was just crazy! Damn this sixth sense is such a burden. See if Rachel's eyes flicker in the pics after the jump.
As this new poster for Tron Legacy declares, "the game has changed." But how? How has this game changed? Still looks all cyber-bikey to me. Is there cyber-lava now?? Or is it that the chicks are hotter this time around?Yes. That could be it. The girls are more attractive and, as you can see from the poster below, the perverts are just as Midwestern.
Posted below are six new clips from a small indie movie called Avatar that comes out December 18th. Like most other bloggers, I refuse to watch them because I want to get the most out of my expensive-ass IMAX ticket. Plus I like wearing shades when I see movies. You know, so the stuff jumps out at you and stuff, like Captain EO. If you like to experience your epic action-adventure movies on a much smaller, 2D screen, then by all means click play below.
What if Amy Fisher knew karate? That's roughly the idea behind Wife Vs. Ninja, a pitch recently purchased by Dreamworks. The story centers on a scientist who leaves his Long Island housewife for his beautiful young intern. But the intern is actually a ninja assassin intent on murdering him and stealing his work. Not sure why the wife would want to save her cheating spouse. Must be children involved.Producer Michael Besman will write the script along with scribes Michael Zam and Jaffe Cohen. Not sure how good this one can be. I place it just above Ballistic: Ecks Vs. Sever on the Versus Movie Scale. (Variety)
Director: Peter JacksonCast: Mark Wahlberg, Saoirse Ronan, Rachel Weisz, Stanley Tucci, Susan SarandonSynopsis: Centers on a young girl who has been murdered and watches over her family – and her killer – from heaven. She must weigh her desire for vengeance against her desire for her family to heal.