News - Page 203

Taylor Kitsch Will Star in ‘Battleship’
Thursday, April 8 by

It looks like an actor has willingly signed on to play the lead in Battleship, a Peter Berg joint. Taylor Kitsch, who you probably know from Friday Night Lights or X-Men Origins: Wolverine or John Carter of Mars (if you're behind on your RSS feed and just now reading this in 2012), is now attached to play Alex Hopper, the Commanding Officer of a destroyer who goes toe-to-toe with alien invaders on the high seas.Jeremy Renner was originally in talks for the role but had to drop out when he realized the movie was based on a board game. I'd like to stay optimistic about this until I see a trailer, but I will go on record and let it be known that I'll be very disappointed if a Slinky doesn't burst from a crewmember's chest during a galley scene. (THR)

Harrison Ford Called In for ‘Cowboys & Aliens’
Wednesday, April 7 by

Rugged Hollywood grandpappy Harrison Ford is now officially cast in Cowboys & Aliens as an unspecified character according to director Jon Favreau's Twitter posting:"Please stop asking if Harrison Ford is in Cowboys & Aliens. Okay? He is. Please don’t tell anybody."Umm, for the record Jon, I didn't ask. Okay? Dial back the attitude some. Maybe you need to relax with a travel brochure.Sorry you guys had to see that. Anyway, this may mark the first time Harrison Ford has been in a good movie since Air Force One. That is, if the concept of cowboys and Indians teaming up to fight off alien invaders can yield a good movie. Personally, I feel like it could be quality. If casted correctly….

Tony Scott Arrives at ‘Potsdamer Platz’
Wednesday, April 7 by

"COOKIE???!!!"Looks like Tony Scott will finally have the chance to make his passion project Potsdamer Platz after nattering on and on about it for the last decade. Sheesh, we get it. You like movies about trains.The film, about a New Jersey crime family expanding their business nationally, is expected to undergo a title and locale change as the latest script has the action moving from Germany to Puerto Rico. Mickey Rourke, Jason Statham, and Javier Bardem are all rumored to be circling the project. Though if Bardem drops out, Scott can probably get Jeffrey Dean Morgan at a bargain rate. It's also being reported that the Crimson Tide director is trying to lure Gene Hackman out of retirement to take part in the film, but inside sources say that isn't happening. I could have told you that. Dude is way too into taking bong rips and playing Forza Motorsport 3 to waste his time making movies. (Deadline)

‘Date Night’ Actress Olivia Munn
Wednesday, April 7 by

Olivia Munn has, pretty much, all but conquered the small screen, co-hosting "Attack of the Show!", as well as modeling for many magazines, including Playboy (though she did keep her clothes on. Boo!!!), Maxim, and Men's Health. You can see her on the big screen in Date Night this weekend and in Iron Man 2 this May. A word from Olivia: "I love banana cream meringue pie!"I'm going to assume that's a sex position, and don't anyone DARE try to convince me otherwise. More pics of Olivia after the jumps, sans pie.

Disney Reloads ‘Tron Legacy’ Writers for Sequel
Wednesday, April 7 by

It took Disney 28 years to sequelize Tron and, now, negative nine months to start work on a third film. Tron Legacy writers Edward Kitsis and Adam Horowitz have been hired to write another sequel with the intention to round out the story as a trilogy. At this point, it's not known if director Joseph Kosinski or the film's stars will return. It's also not known whether the movie deserves a sequel. Though that's never stopped anyone before.I'm looking at you Resident Evil. (THR)

Akiva Goldsman Recycling ‘The Toxic Avenger’
Wednesday, April 7 by

Troma's The Toxic Avenger film is a cult hit about a 98-lb weakling who mutates into a misshapen hulk after falling into a vat of toxic waste. He uses his newfound strength to rip evil-doers limb from limb and then sodomize them with said limbs. Today comes news that Akiva Goldsman has picked up the rights to remake The Toxic Avenger without including any of those good parts.The new Toxie will be a green superhero who embarks on PG-13 adventures. Which means instead of introducing a thug's head to his sphincter, he will now introduce thugs to brochures about recycling and Al Gore documentaries. (Deadline)

Death Star Memorial
Tuesday, April 6 by

Luke better not show his face at this remembrance.Let's take a moment for these links.Winona Ryder Joins Ron Howard Comedy (Moviefone)Soda-Drinking May Kill Your Sperm (Asylum)Gwyneth Paltrom Is Filled With Hate (PopEater)25 Mutant Cars (HolyTaco)Internet Geek License Plates (Unreality)33 Super Hot Baseball Girls (TotalProSports)Hot Girls in Hats (Maxim)NCIS: LA Goes MMA-Style (CagePotato)13 Celebs Who Probably Smell Like Cheese (EgoTV)11 Total Burnouts (Smosh)5 TV Shows We Got Tired of Banging (Pajiba)Ways to Save Money: Electricity (Atom)15 Time Management Tips (MadeMan)Leffler Wrecks Buescher in Nashville (AllLeftTurns)25 Confused Animals (RegretfulMorning)

Hugh Jackman Works Blue with Balls in Peter Farrelly’s Upcoming Short
Tuesday, April 6 by

Sometimes I feel like Hugh Jackman extracts his life-force from gay jokes. Between all the song and dance and now this casting announcement, it has to be the only explanation.In Peter Farrelly's upcoming anthology film, titled Untitled Comedy, Jackman will play a bachelor on a date with Kate Winslet. Kate has a hard time concentrating during the social call as Jackman's character has testicles attached to his chin. Nice work, guys. 1999 is laughing its ass off. The short segment, known as The Catch, is just one of several sketches that populate the film.Now that Jackman and "balls on chin" are forever wed in Google bliss, it's a good thing he didn't star in Brokeback Mountain. The combined might of those gay jokes could cause him to go supernova and destroy us all. FLAME ON! (Digital Spy)

Olivia Thirlby Joins ‘The Darkest Hour’
Tuesday, April 6 by

Olivia Thirlby seems ready to break away from her moody indie roots. The star of The Wackness, Juno, and movies I rent accidentally on Netflix has just been cast in Chris Gorak's The Dark Hour. In the film, she'll play an American traveller in Moscow when aliens invade unexpectedly. Thirlby will fight for survival alongside other tourists in the sci-fi epic from the production designer turned director. Between all the random attacks and driving on the wrong side of the road, it doesn't sound that much different than a trip to Detroit.Filming will begin this summer in Moscow at producer Timur Bekmambetov's custom-built production facility where film shoots you. (THR)

‘Date Night’ Actress Katie Gill
Tuesday, April 6 by

Even though Katie Gill is fairly new to the acting game, she's been on all three "CSIs". That's a lot of hip procedural drama and Who music to have on one person's resume. A word from Katie: "CSI: NY is my favorite."You picked Sinise over Caruso?! For shaaaame. I bet Caruso would have something clever to say about this, but I have neither the time nor the patience to come up with it.Take off your sunglasses to check out the pics after the jump.

Javier Bardem and Jeffrey Dean Morgan are The Same Person
Tuesday, April 6 by

Square jaws, impeccable scruff, squinty eyes, and mussed hair. It's a David Cronenberg film come to life.

Ty Burrell Greases Up for ‘Butter’ Farce
Tuesday, April 6 by

"She's anatomically perfect and she's all mine."Modern Family's Ty Burrell is in final negotiations to star in Butter, a satire about the cut-throat world of competitive butter sculpting. The movie, which also stars Jennifer Garner as his glory-seeking wife, is actually an allegory for the 2008 Presidential primaries with Burrell appearing as a Bill Clinton parody who is forced to step down from his position of butter sculpting champ.Wait. A movie that makes you look smart while you secretly daydream about the creamy taste of fresh butter? Brett Ratner is going to get soooo laid on date night. (Variety)

’12 Angry Men’ with Hot Chicks
Tuesday, April 6 by

12 Angry Men with Hot Chicks – Watch more Funny Videos

‘National Treasure 3′ Drafts ‘Prince of Persia’ Writing Duo
Tuesday, April 6 by

It looks like Jerry Bruckheimer has found a kinship with writers Carlo Bernard and Doug Miro. The pair wrote his next two blockbusters, Prince of Persia and The Sorcerer's Apprentice, and now he has them on the hook to write a third National Treasure film for director Jon Turteltaub.When reached for fictional comment, not-real Jerry Bruckheimer had this to say:"The National Treasure films have always displayed a reckless abandon for all semblance of reality. After seeing how Carlo and Doug laughed in the face of physics and history with their other works, Jon and I knew they were the d-bags for the job. It also helps that they can't capture the way people actually talk."No plot specifics have been released yet but we'll keep you posted on Nicolas Cage's hunt for William Henry Harrison's gold or whatever it turns out to be.In the interest of full disclosure, I made that earlier quote up. (Coming Soon)

The Matrix Grants Neo Dope Skillz
Monday, April 5 by

Totally beats classes at The Learning Annex. (Unreality)Plug these links into your brain.Is Hollywood Going Too Crazy With 3D? (Moviefone)Oral Sex Spray Is a Fabulous Deal (Asylum)Tiger Faces Reporters at Augusta (PopEater)25 Sexy Baseball Fans (HolyTaco)Release Schedule for Finest Film Ever Created (FilmDrunk)15 Dumbest Video Game Tattoos You'll Ever See (Unreality)Soccer Player Throws Water Bottle at Fan (TotalProSports)Hottest Celeb Baseball Fans (Maxim)Bob Sapp Won a Fight, But It Wasn't Pretty (CagePotato)Alessandra Ambrosia Lost ALL of Her Baby Weight (CelebJihad)11 Awesome Burn-Out Fails (Smosh)5 Must Manipulative Tearjerkers (Pajiba)Rockateer DUI Caught On Tape (Atom)Get Her from Dinner to Bed (MadeMan)Hot Jordan Fish Pics (AllLeftTurns)

‘Star Wars’ to Be Intentionally Funny With New Animated Sitcom
Monday, April 5 by

Because this turned out so well. An official sanction from LucasFilms has made it okay to laugh at Star Wars. Not the films though. You must remain stone-faced while Hayden Christiansen delivers dialogue and when rubber puppets pop up during the pod race. That is law. What you can laugh at is a new animated series being developed by LucasFilms themselves to presumably cash in on the recent franchise-skewering made popular by "Robot Chicken" and "Family Guy." And the best way to do that is to hire Seth Green and Matthew Seinreich from "Robot Chicken." I posit, however, that the best way to ensure hilarity is to farm it out to France. (Variety)

‘The Big Lebowski’ Porn Parody Trailer, Man
Monday, April 5 by

It made sense to produce a porn parody of box office juggernaut Avatar and television sensations "Dexter" and "The Jersey Shore", but I can't say that The Big Lebowski deserves the same NSFW treatment. Never ever never not even once during a viewing of the Cohen Brothers film have I thought a cut to rough penetration was mysteriously absent. But hell, give the people what they want, and apparently the people want The Dude naked. I just thank my lucky stars they found someone to replace Tara Reid. No one needs to see that Frankenstein body floppin' around.

‘The Last Song’ Actress Melissa Ordway
Monday, April 5 by

Melissa Ordway modeled in various campaigns including Sketchers, Old Navy, and David's Bridal and has acted in 17 Again and on the television series "Privileged." She also looks good half-naked on the beach during sunset.   A word from Melissa: "She expresses her hurt through being very mean and vengeful to Ronnie." I'm sure Ronnie deserved it. He always makes fun of the slow kid who works at the grocery store. No, I don't care if we're talking about the same Ronnie. More pics of Melissa after the jump.

Old Spice “I’m On a Horse” Guy Belongs to Tyler Perry Now
Monday, April 5 by

Isaiah Mustafa the deodorant-shilling equestrian du jour, has been cast in Tyler Perry's next project. The former NFL player turned weird guy on a horse will appear in Perry's adaptation of his play Tyler Perry's Colored Girls Who Have Considered Suicide When The Rainbow Is Enuf. Pfft, whatever hippie.Mustafa appeared on Oprah's talk show to discuss his newfound fame when Perry himself showed up to offer him the role. It's unclear where Mustafa will fit in with the all-star cast made up of Janet Jackson, Mariah Carey, Whoopi Goldberg, Phylicia Rashad and Anika Noni Rose, which originally featured no male roles. I'm sure he will fit right in though. As long as he doesn't cause Madea to have to take off her earrings. God forbid any man suffer that fate. Elsewhere, Orlando Jones has been cast in real-life as "Who?" (Cinema Blend)

Anna Friel Joins ‘Dark Fields’
Monday, April 5 by

Anna Friel had to wash the smell of Land of the Lost out of her hair by doing theater in London's West End, but she's now returning to Hollywood with a role in Dark Fields. In the film, Bradley Cooper plays a washed-up writer who comes across a drug that makes him more intelligentier smarter. After reaping the rewards of being a know-it-all and schooling his peers at Cranium, he finds the drug has lethal consequences.Friel will play his ex-wife. Robert De Niro and Abbie Cornish are also on board to star in the thriller by Neil Burger. (THR)

Emily Blunt Gives ‘Captain America’ the Hand
Saturday, April 3 by

I hate reporting on stuff that ISN'T happening, but it's a slow news weekend and I thought you could use a picture of some stellar cleavage. Emily Blunt has officially passed on the role of Peggy Carter in Captain America. Most likely she prefers money in exchange for her services, and Marvel is notorious for hating to give up theirs. If they could pay their actors with t-shirts from the swag room they'd jump at the opportunity.Now that Emily is out, Kiera Knightley and Alice Eve are the top contenders. Isn't everyone like sooooo over Knightley yet? I want my Peggy Carter to have some meet on her bones. If Kiera gets any skinner she's going to have to develop a coke habit. Not because she should do drugs, she just needs a cooler explanation than genetics. (/Film)

Photobomb Fridays: ‘Amadeus’ + Drummer
Friday, April 2 by

Back in 1776 they had zero tolerance for street musicians. Here are your weekend links.The 'Inglourious Basterds' Clapper Board (Moviefone)8 Randomly Encountered Chatroulette Hotties (Asylum)Charlie Sheen Leaving 'Two and a Half Men'? (PopEater)25 Funny Crucifixes (HolyTaco)Tron Party in San Francisco! (FilmDrunk)Cool Gallery of Futurama Cosplay (Unreality)Cheerleading at its Finest (TotalProSports)Release the Crack-en a.k.a Booties! (Maxim)5 Pairs of Boobies You Have to See (Smosh)New Avatar 2 Trailer (CelebJihad)Thiago Alves's Brain Surgery Video-Blog (CagePotato)Miley Cyrus Career Assessment (Pajiba)Gay Ray, The Reggae Gay (Atom)How to Join the Mafia (MadeMan)NASCAR Prop Bets, Version Two (AllLeftTurns)

‘Splice’ Trailer is a Bold Re-Telling of ‘The Ugly Duckling’
Friday, April 2 by

She'll grow out of it. There's finally a trailer for Vincenzo Natali's eery sci-fi/horror Splice, that movie with Adrien Brody and the hot, bald chick with the mouth in her scalp (still kinda hot though). The movie impressed at Sundance and will see wide release on June 4th as a result. The film warns against the dangers of queefing in the face of God and law by creating your own monstrous human-animal hybrid. So seriously, guys. Don't do that kind of thing. Did Species teach you nothing? Check out the trailer after the jump.

Friday, April 2 by

Director: Vincenzo NataliCast: Adrian Brody, Sarah PolleySynopsis: Elsa and Clive, two young rebellious scientists, defy legal and ethical boundaries and forge ahead with a dangerous experiment: splicing together human and animal DNA to create a new organism.Release Date: June 5, 2010

‘xXx: The Return of Xander Cage’ Will Be All Up in Your Face
Friday, April 2 by

Time for his 3pm apple sauce.Do you hear that sound? It's the sound of Godsmack warming up their instruments. What could possibly have the ridiculously goateed rockers half-heartedly tuning and making that "jukka jukka jukka" noise? The return of Vin Diesel as Xander Cage, that's what.Of course, that's all old news. Today we have an extreme update. All the die-hard Xander fans who ripped their neck tatts off in solidarity, should be prepared to sew them back on. Not only will director Rob Cohen return to the franchise but he'll be bringing James Cameron's fancy 3D cameras with him. Probably uses a pretty cool truck to carry them too."I feel what we did in the beginning of the decade was bring a different attitude to the action movie and a different kind of hero. With the new 3D instrument and the techniques I can apply, we can create a different kind of cutting-edge experience in 3D by shooting it that way from the beginning the way James Cameron did 'Avatar.' This won't be fantasy characters, it takes place on Earth in real time. That's a new dimension to be explored, and I'm excited."That's right earthlings. You're about to be groin-punched in the face by a non-fantasy character that can surf on speeding missiles. You have until late 2011 to vacate the planet. (ComingSoon)

‘Harold & Kumar’ Creators Directing ‘American Pie 4′
Friday, April 2 by

Their recent strokes have only made them funnier. Harlold & Kumar creators Hayden Schlossberg and Jon Kurwitz are moving from hamburgers to baked goods. The duo is mounting American Pie 4 as both writers and directors. That leaves directing duties on A Very Harold & Kumar Christmas to newcomer Todd Strauss Schulson.The story for the latest Pie sequel is being kept under wraps, though I'm sure embarrassment, bizarre sexual fetishes, and Jim's Dad will remain major components. None of the original cast has officially signed on yet, but extreme interest has been voiced. You don't say? Should I go with a Jason Biggs, Chris Klein, Thomas Ian Nicholas, Tara Reid, Shannon Elizabeth, or Natasha Lyonne joke here… You know what, I'm gonna let it be. I'm sure the fact that the band camp girl is more prosperous than any of them is shameful enough. (THR)

‘Clash of the Titans’ Actress Alexa Davalos
Friday, April 2 by

Alexa Davalos is a ballerina who decided to try acting on for size, and it's turned out pretty well for her. She's starred in the films The Chronicles of Riddick, The Mist, and Defiance. Take it easy, Whedon fans! I was getting to her three episode arc on Angel. A word from Alexa: "I would never close any doors to anything and if it were a character that I loved regardless, I would definitely give it thought but that is my first love, film."Yeah, who goes to the theater anymore besides nerds. And yes, intellectuals count as totaly nerds to me.More of Alexa's free spirit after the jump.

Ryan Reynolds Joins the ‘R.I.P.D.’
Friday, April 2 by

Ryan Reynolds is going to die. It's a fact of life that we all need to be prepared for. I feel like you're at an age where you're mature enough to handle that news. I'm talking about in the movies only of course. The real Ryan Reynolds will never die. He will be around forever. You hear me God?Producer Neal Moritz announced that Reynolds will follow Change-Up with a starring role in the upcoming adaptation of the graphic novel R.I.P.D.. In the film, he will play a recently-deceased cop who joins the Rest In Peace Department – which is the police department for the dead, naturally. Reynold's dead partner in the buddy cop film is described as a gunslinger who's been dead for hundreds of years. I take that to mean he wasn't that good of a gunslinger. (Collider)

Sebastian Stan Cast as Bucky in ‘Captain America’
Friday, April 2 by

In all the commotion surrounding just who the frig would be playing The First Avenger: Captain America, we all neglected to needlessly stress out over who would play his plucky sidekick. Today comes word that Gossip Girl's Sebastian Stan will squeeze into Bucky's red tights and strike an arms akimbo pose. He is to Captain America what Robin is to Batman, what Ernie is to Bert, what Samwise is to Frodo, what Bernie Taupin is to Elton John.There have been a few different versions of Bucky in the comic and there is no word yet on how he will be portrayed in the film. You know, except for ridiculously. (THR)

‘The Big Lebowski’ + ‘Lost’ Head Dunking Mashup
Thursday, April 1 by

Mark Pellegrino, the guy who plays Jacob on LOST and who dunked Richard's head in the ocean last week, is also the thug from The Big Lebowski who dunks The Dude's head in his own toilet. Someone put those scenes together in video form. (WarmingGlow) "Where're the links, Lebowski?!" David Fincher Inks Deal for 'Dragon Tattoo' (Moviefone) Girl Plays Xbox in a Thong (Asylum) Gabourey Sidibe Hosting SNL (PopEater) 25 Cute Babies and Kitties (HolyTaco) 11 Pointless Uses of Modern Technology (Uproxx) 8 Most Absurd Schwarzenegger Videos (Unreality) 18 Demoralized Animals Wearing Bunny Ears (Maxim) 5 Pranks Not to Pull on Your Girlfriend (Smosh) Megan Fox Sexily Kills a Cat (CelebJihad) Rich Attonito's Guest Blog (CagePotato) Pajiba April Fool's (Pajiba) Sex Offender Shuffle (Atom) Dream Job: Bomb Squad (MadeMan) What do NASCAR Crews do During the Week? (AllLeftTurns) The 7 Different Kinds of Hot (RegretfulMorning)