Riots flare in Greece as Ratner is considered for 'Hercules'.Director Brett Ratner is in talks to ruin the legend of Hercules, The LA Times is reporting. Millennium/Nu Image has been developing the project for three years, and apparently just decided to say "f*ck it, I don't care any more, it's gonna suck no matter what we do." Shortly thereafter, Ratner was brought in for negotiations. At any rate, I'm hopeful we'll get to hear the line "Don't ever touch a Greek man's radio" sometime soon. I know it's pretty lazy for a hack like me to make fun of Ratner, but in all fairness to Brett…actually, I don't really have anything more to add to that statement.
What if Cameron from Ferris Bueller's Day Off was insane, and Ferris was nothing more than a figment of his sick imagination? According to /Film, this question, known as the Ferris Bueller Fight Club Theory, has been plaguing the the Internet for over a year (I wouldn't know, since I just got online for the first time in March). But thanks to the fine people at Classy Hands, the question now has an answer. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Ferris Club, a re-edit of FBDO in the style of Fight Club. It's pretty spot on, except I didn't catch any shots of Principal Rooney, as played by Jeffery Jones. He's a sex offender, don't ya know. See Ferris Bueller channel Tyler Durden after the jump.
She played a slut in The 40-Year-Old Virgin. She played an amateur pornstar in Zach and Miri. Now, actress Elizabeth Banks is taking the next logical step: a live-action version of Tinkerbell, the magical pixie from Walt Disney's Peter Pan.Banks is developing and will star in Tink, a film that “plays with the mischievous nature" of the famous character. Hopefully, "mischievous nature" is code for topless breast play. Besides, a little female nudity will help postpone the inevitable gay-porn parody, Twink. (/Film)
His gift may cause drowsiness and impaired judgement. Enjoy with caution. (Heeb)Surprise! Links!DiCaprio And Page Talk About Their Dreams For 'Inception' (Moviefone)Pants-Less Man Holds Celebrity Shoppers Hostage (Asylum)A Review Of Ace Of Base's New Song 'In Forever' (HolyTaco)Film Drunk Frotcast Episode 5- Predators, Birdemic (FilmDrunk)21 Awesome Toilet Papering Pictures (Maxim)Chick With The World's Biggest Tits Fights For Her Life (BarStoolSports)Cars Of The Future (EgoTV)26 Contemporary Directors With The Lowest Average Box-Office Gross (Pajiba)What Movies Are Left That Can Save This Terrible Summer? (Unreality)Two Dead, Over 100 Injured After World Cup Celebrations (TotalProSports)8 Ridiculous Foods That Are Coming To A Fast Food Place Near You (Smosh)40 Of The Greatest Movies About The Summer (BroBible)Taylor Swift Rudely Photobombs Daniel Craig (CelebJihad)Butterbean Is Back And Setting The Stage For A Fight (CagePotato)U2's Bono Ready To Rock And Roll After Back Surgery (PopEater)The Best Inflatable Hot Tub (MadeMan)
Yeah YOU, dude.Mark Ruffalo is in late-stage talks to smash things as The Hulk in The Avengers. Marvel told Edward Norton to eff off and has been on a search to find his replacement. The name Joaquin Phoenix was even floating around in Stupid Rumor Land.Mark Ruffalo is one actor who never came to mind when I spent last night brainstorming possible Hulk replacements. I don't remember Bruce Banner laughing nervously and growing spotty facial hair in the comics. Perhaps casting agents should turn their attention to a certain phone call Mel Gibson made not too long ago. If that wasn't a expemplary audition and lesson in transformation from human to beast, then I'll eat my hat. My cake hat. (Deadline)
Today we have our first official look at Sir Anthony Hopkins as Odin in Marvel's Thor. Oof. One minute you're turning in thoughtful, Oscar-worthy performances. The next, you're threatening to retire because the movie where you pretended to be a feral, chimp man didn't connect with audiences. Then all of a sudden, you're in some weird, muscley armor walking through a Roman sewer with a piece of foil double-sticked to your eye. Thus, is the life of the thespian.The LA Times debuted this photo along with the news that both Thor and Captain America will undergo a 3D post conversion process before hitting theaters. Marvel and the filmmakers are well aware of the challenges this decision creates, and that is why they will spend "an unprecedented amount of time" on the conversion. What do you expect them to do? They've already shot too much footage of hammers and shields being thrown at the camera to turn back now.
There is absolutely no question that Paramount wants Tom Cruise to return as Ethan Hunt in Mission: Impossible 4. THR has proof:"We absolutely are excited about having Tom Cruise star in this movie," is how Paramount vice chairman Rob Moore put it Tuesday. But the studio also is monitoring the overseas performance of Cruise's latest film, Knight and Day to see whether the star retains his longtime hold over foreign audiences. If that film should gross less than $200 million overseas, some industry observers think Paramount will consider recasting the Ethan Hunt role.Wait, what? They want him unless they don't want him? Get your sh*t together, Paramount. Tom Cruise needs to eat, and if you aren't going to feed him that carrot you're dangling than cut the man loose. Which brings me to the mechanical bull movie:Cruise attended a table read this week at the Saddle Ranch eatery in West Hollywood for a Sony project to be produced by Will Smith's production company, Overbrook Entertainment. The film in question, "Paper Wings," is set in urban cowboy world, and Saddle Ranch had the right ambience for the read because it features a mechanical bull.Let's not forget about the kitschy longhorn skulls on the walls and the melty cookie pie dessert. It's just like you're wrangling steer in the Montana mountains! Basically, everything depends on if foreign people like Tom Cruise or not. Mission: Impossible is a brand, and a sequel will likely succeed with or without him. In fact, if foreigners hate Cruise, it might be worth injecting the project with some fresh blood. The actor could probably help Paramount out with that. He must have a locker of it next to the room he keeps Katie chained up in.
There's a new Dinner For Schmucks trailer that shows a few funny clips we haven't seen yet. Mostly it highlights Rudd and Carell's chemistry, but also introduces Lucy Punch, who plays Paul Rudd's spear-wielding stalker. The more I see of this movie, the more I like. Not only do they shine a light on beastiality and puppet sex, but now the filmmaker's have trained their sights on diluted, pyschotic women. Makes me want to find a dangerous stalker of my very own. If anyone's looking for me, I'll be at that abandoned semi-trailer they turned into a strip club.HAVE A LOOK AT RUDD'S STRANGE AFTER THE JUMP…
Last time we saw Improv Everywhere, they were chasing down ghosts in the New York Public Library. Now the comedy troupe known for its wacky movie reenactments brings the Princess Leia/Darth Vader scene from Star Wars down into the dingy underground of Manhattan. I can't wait until the day the locals turn against these theater jokesters. Improv's going to be all over the sidewalk, brickwalls, and tip of a bum's chicken bone knife. EVERYWHERE. (Ed note: Please don't murder these guys. Okay, thanks.)
Check out the video below.
Outside of her role in the Adam Sandler comedy Happy Gilmore, Actress Julie Bowen has focused mainly on television projects. But the success of her current show, "Modern Family," is breathing new life into her film career.The Emmy nominated actress has signed on to play Kevin Spacey's wife in the upcoming comedy ensemble, Horrible Bosses. Bowen is also slated to appear in Jumping the Broom, where she will play a stressed out wedding planner.While she should be known as the "hot mom" on "Modern Family," Bowen's co-star, Sofía Vergara, has relegated her to "normal mom" status. Despite the success of the show, it's a good thing she's branching out. The cast recently did an episode that took place in Hawaii. If the "Brady Bunch" and "Full House" are any indication, "Modern Family" is looking for a shark to jump. (Variety)
Hey, you! Get your damn hands off her!Joseph Kosinski, who is currently wrapping up Tron: Legacy, has signed on to direct Archangels, a film described as a cross between a "Bourne-style thriller" and a sci-fi alien adventure. The project is being produced by Scott Free, the production company owned by Ridley Scott and Tony Scott.The film will center around an "elite fighting force" that tracks down uninvited aliens who manage to sneak onto Earth. If I didn't know any better, I'd say that Pat Buchanan had started writing sci-fi scripts. It's about time! (/Film)
Eat your heart out, Inception! Devil, a new film written by M. Night Shyamalan, doesn't look half bad. In fact, after viewing the trailer below, I think I actually want to see it. But then again, that's why Shyamalan is considered a master. He has the uncanny ability to take a film with an interesting premise and bankable stars and turn it into a steaming pile of dog poo. "The first released under “The Night Chronicles” banner, Devil is directed by Quarantine helmers the Dowdle Bros from a story by M. Night Shyamalan and script by Brian Nelson. The story reported involves a group of people who are trapped in an elevator, and one of them is the devil." That reminds me of the time I left my brother tied up in the desert all alone because he was possessed by the devil. He kept insisting that he was fine and that I was being paranoid. But that's what the devil does! He makes you doubt yourself. At any rate, a memorial service for my brother will be held this Friday at 1 p.m. Email me for more details. (/Film)See the trailer for Devil after the jump.
Focus Features has released the trailer for It's Kind of a Funny Story. In perfect casting, Zach Galifiankis plays a mental patient who helps a clinically depressed teenager (Keir Gilchrist) get a fresh start after checking into a psychiatric ward. Basically it's the self-committal version of One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest. Emma Roberts, Lauren Graham, and Viola Davis also star. The film is directed by Ryan Fleck and Anna Boden, the team behind the utterly depressing (in a powerful way) Half Nelson. It's nice to see they're taking on lighter material, like people with mental disorders instead of heroin addictions. Galifianakis could portray both afflications equally well. It's Kind of a Funny Story checks into theaters September 24, 2010. Check out the trailer after the jump…
Lindsay Lohan may be a cracked-out, bankrupt, crazy, ankle-bracelet-wearing criminal that I have absolutely no more interest in fantasizing about…but this Machete poster is still pretty hot. (BuzzFeed)Make amends with these links.Is Daniel Tosh The New Face Of Comedy Central? (TVSquad)Best Mel Gibson Rant Remixes And Parodies (Asylum)Total BS Profile Of Christina Milian (HolyTaco)Al Pacino Sells Out And Does His First Commerical (FilmDrunk)From Geek To Gangster (Maxim)KMarko Can Kick It With Me Anyday (BarStoolSports)10 Greatest Graphic Novels (Besides 'Watchmen') (EgoTV)Talking Book: Remembering Harvey Pekar (Pajiba)In A Bleak Summer Film Season, Predators Is Actually Worth It (Unreality)Sara Carbonero Is Spain's Hottest Sports Reporter (TotalProSports)20 Odd Jesus Sightings (Smosh)Making August Hotter With Pictures Of Francesca Frigo (BroBible)Roman Polanski To Direct 'Twilight' Prequel (CelebJihad)MMA's Weird-Stomach-Tattoo Hall Of Fame (CagePotato)What Lindsay Can Learn From Lil Wayne In Prison (PopEater)Barefoot Bandit Pleads Gulity In Bahamas (MadeMan)
Universal released the first of what director Edgar Wright tweeted would be seven Scott Pilgrim vs The World featurettes. This one nicely eases you into the series by focusing on the world of Scott Pilgrim through insight by Wright, Michael Cera, and Mary Elizabeth Winstead. I personally don't want to watch anymore clips about the film because I'd like to still be surprised when I actually see the film. Regardless, the new footage got me even more jazzed, so I guess it was worth it. You win this time, studio marketing division. Scott Pilgrim vs. The World POWS! into theaters August 13. Check out the featurette after the jump…
"Ummm, Brad? You're in the shot."What do you do when your movie about guys sucked into a computer lacks character and believability? You throw it to the wizards at Pixar. If they can turn a trash compactor into one of the most endearing characters in modern film history, they're certainly up to the task of making Garrett Hedlund seem like more than an angular haircut. That was Disney's line of thinking when they invited a core group of Pixar's finest to polish up the script for Tron Legacy before it went into six days of reshoots.Brad Bird and Toy Story 3's Michael Arndt worked together with original scribes Edward Kitsis and Adam Horowitz to do what Pixar does best. No, not wear sneakers to work. They were brought in to beef up the character, emotion, and theme. Sounds awesome. Now send them over to Seltzer and Friedberg's offices. I want my Kardashian jokes to effect me on an emotional level, dammit. (EW)
Closer. Closer. They're almost on the glass. Just a little further….Amanda Seyfried has been announced as the first hot, young thing to join the cast of Andrew Niccol's I'm.mortal. The dumbly-titled movie tells the tale of a future society where the aging gene is turned off at 25, thus allowing sexys only, no olds allowed. Hot, young things must then buy and bank units of time so that they may hang on to their looks, or else they die. Much like on "The Hills."Seyfried is slated to play a wealthy, hot, young thing who is taken hostage and must run around and get all sweaty while pursued by a corrupt police force known as "time keepers." Promise me some slow-motion shots and I'll begin camping out in line for tickets today. That and because I got evicted from the overtipped canoe I've been living in. Stupid co-op board. (Variety)
The blonde Aussie Teresa Palmer is Disney's sexy gift with performances in Bedtime Stories and now this week's The Sorcerer's Apprentice. Topher Grace has been lucky enough to truly enjoy her down under charm, and if that turns you off you must seriously hate Topher Grace.A word from Teresa: "I was earning like $100 a week a year ago, so this is money I never expected to earn! But I am trying not to listen to the hype or listen to my own media because you can't go through it like that."How fruggle of her. I agree though. One Bentley is enough when first starting out in the game. Spend the rest on blow. More pics of hot Aussie Teresa after the jump.
Mel Gibson vs. Christian Bale – Watch more Funny VideosThe audio mashup you've all been waiting for is finally here. The second we all heard Mel Gibson go apesh*t on his girlfriend Oksana Grigorieva, Christian Bale popped up in the back of our minds ripping the DP on Terminator Salvation a new asshole. Neither you nor I wanted to put them together in one phone conversation because that involves time and effort, so we waited a few days until someone else did it. We should get these two actors in one sealed-off room and they can really battle it out. Place your bets on who's going to end up in a rose garden. Probably Oksana since both Bale and Gibson have no qualms with hitting women. (FilmDrunk)
It's time once agin to gather round the computin' box and gather some freshly-branded casting news. YAWWWWW!!!!FAST FIVE – will be gaining one Ludacris and one The Rock according to Twitter all-star Tyrese Gibson. “Major shouts to Vin Diesel, Paul Walker, & Dewayne [sic] “Rock” Johnson!! “Fast & Furious Five” Let’s get em again!!” Yes. He misspelled The Rock's name but please keep in mind, he typed this with his ab muscles. Impressed, now? (Collider)RISE OF THE APES – has cast Brian Cox to play a villianous dean general Robert McKee owner of a primate research facility. When reached for comment, James Cromwell said, "Aw, dammit." (/Film)MONEYBALL – "Parks and Recreation" shoeshine man, Chris Pratt, will spend his hiatus from the show portraying a catcher whose hurty elbow leads him to become a batting phenom. Just like Rookie Of the Year (note: nothing like Rookie Of the Year.) (Collider)
Nicolas Cage was a guest on "Late Show with David Letterman" last night to promote The Sorcerer's Apprentice, and wouldn't you know it, he told a drug story. Back in the day, Cage kept psychedelic mushrooms in his fridge like we keep milk and deli meats. His cat loved the shrooms and would frequently indulge, so Cage often tripped the light fantastic with it. There's more to the story, but I don't want to harsh your mellow. Check the clip out yourself. (TVSquad)
Christopher Nolan’s Inception is released this Friday, and despite the publicity, I could not tell you its plot to save my life. I hear it is about Cobb (Leo Di Caprio) who is able to invade people’s dreams. So, it sounds a lot like the Nightmare on Elm Street series, without the puns. Also, if I am to believe the trailers, most people in the future dream about cities folding up on themselves. If that’s the case, my dreams about becoming a half-cat/half-man driving an ice cream truck should protect me from psyche-criminals. Here are a few of my favorite dream sequences that are generally forgotten about (or undervalued).
I can kind of see it around the eyes.You may listen to the Lost Highway soundtrack on repeat or enjoy Mulholland Drive for reasons beyond Naomi Watts's chest, but you're not a true fan of David Lynch until you have his face printed on your stylish tote bag. And Lynch is giving you the opportunity to do just that. Anyone who donates $50 to the production of his upcoming documentary Lynch Three, can win a limited-edition print of the director's self-portrait on a poster, tote bag, or T-shirt.Onto the self-portrait itself. I'm a little disappointed by it. I know that art is subjective and Lynch has proven himself time and time again in the creative world, but it looks like it belongs on Regretsy. Why isn't this sculpted out of steak, or printed on dead skin? At least tell me the pen he used to draw it was involved in a stabbing. Give me something here. (via Cinema Blend)
Stop staring at my chest!Comic-Con attendees hoping to see a topless woman for the first time are in for a real let down. Event organizers have rejected footage from the film Piranha 3D because there were too many boob shots, according to Comic-Con's PR director, David Glanzer. "My understanding is that the footage wasn't all ages appropriate," Glanzer told HitFix. "We don't check ID to get into those meeting rooms, so we don't want something inappropriate." That's all fine and good, but answer me this: at what age is it "appropriate" to sit in on a panel discussion titled A Leap Of Faith, A "Quantum Leap" Retrospective, or Kiss Them or Kill Them? Conflict Management for the Creatures Among Us? Clearly, half the crap at Comic-Con is inappropriate for people of all ages. Why pick on Piranha 3D? (Dread Central)
Mom, it happened again.Haley Joel Osment is back from his third tour in Afghanistan (I assume that's where he's been for the past three years), and he's just signed on to a project that doesn't sound too awful.In Sex Ed, Osment will play a recent college graduate hired to teach algebra. But through a series of wacky misadventures (crippling budget cuts), Osment's character ends up teaching a sex ed class. The only catch is that he's a virgin. Those who can't do, teach.The film was written by Billy Kennedy and will be directed by Isaac Feder. It will be viewed by me and maybe Haley Joel Osment's mom, if she's not out spending that Sixth Sense money. (Empire Online)
MEL GIBSONS PSYCHO CALL TO GIRLFRIEND OKSANA GRIGORIEVA – Watch more Funny VideosPlease listen to Mel Gibson's psycho call to Oksana Grigorieva, the mother of his baby daughter. It's lengthy by internet standards, but I promise the entire eight minutes will grab hold of you like Mel Gibson would if you were a minority in a windowless room alone with him. If you didn't think Mel was batsh*t crazy before, you need hear nothing more than his primal panting to change your opinion.Shake off the verbal abuse with these links.Hooters Swimsuit Pageant Winner Video (TVSquad)Some Women Shift Sexual Orientations (Asylum)25 Hilarious Cheerleader Fail Videos (HolyTaco)Hollywood Accounting Explained (FilmDrunk)10 Awesome Predator Tattoos (Maxim)The Search for New England's Best Ass (BarStoolSports)10 Cartoon Cereals That Sadly No Longer Exist (EgoTV)Your Favorite Directors Aren't Box Office Hits (Pajiba)20 Awesome Retro Movie and TV Lunch Boxes (Unreality)German Celebration Fail (TotalProSports)20 Cool Fan Art Marios (Smosh)10 Real Jobs to Work Alongside Hot Chicks (BroBible)Miley Cyrus Shows Her Behind (CelebJihad)Shinya Aoki is the Biggest Douche in Japanese MMA (CagePotato)Spencer Pratt Has No Place to Live (PopEater)Private Ninja Lessons (MadeMan)
So inappropriate for a little kid. It's three sizes too big.
Check out "Cool Dad."Phew! Looks like we'll get a sequel to The Ghost Writer afterall. That was a close one. Government officials in Switzerland have decided to free Roman Polanski after seven months of house arrest. The Swiss had planned to expedite the famed director to the U.S. where he would serve a prison sentence for drugging and raping a 13-year old girl in 1977, but have now declined to do so because of a fault in America's application for his extradition.Great. Way to drop the ball, guys. There's no way he's going to fall for the whole we want to give you a lifetime achievement award again. Now our only option for capturing him is to dress Dog the Bounty Hunter as a schoolgirl, and drop him in the Alps. It's a crazy plan, but right crazy is the best hope we've got. (NY Times)
Paramount has snatched up an untitled pitch that turns Victor Hugo's classic "The Hunchback of Notre Dame" into an action/comedy. The novel, published in 1831, "is set in the 15th century and centers on the tragic romance between Quasimodo, the deformed bell-ringer of the Notre Dame cathedral in Paris, and the gypsy woman Esmeralda."Disney already brought cripples to children's attention with the animated version of The Hunchback in 1996. Not only did Quasi land the girl, but he had a voice like a nightingale. In an action/comedy take, the pairing of "deformed bell-ringer and gypsy" will be the new "criminal disguised as cop and cop in need of making a big case." They should just remake Blue Streak instead. It's been eleven years already. (Variety)
Monica Bellucci has been the gorgous Italian babe to haunt many of mens' dreams ever since sucking Keanu Reeves's blood in Bram Stoker's Dracula. Catch her in the upcoming Disney flick The Sorcerer's Apprentice playing a sexy sorceress that will move the next generation of young men to puberty.A word from Monica: "My body is so important to me… I use everything I have."Your body is so important to us too. We'd like to run a diagnostic test if possible. More examples of why I love Italy so darn much after the jump.