Harry Hendersons Best Cry Mash Up – Watch more Funny VideosCrying Guy feels your pain, Harry.(special thanks to Mark from Found Footage Fest for the assist)These links will cheer you up. Ricky Gervais to Host 2011 Golden Globes (Moviefone)Porn Star Rescues Man from Jail Sentence (Asylum)Jim Carrey is Acting Weirder Than Usual (PopEater)25 Ladies in Corsets (HolyTaco)Pete Hammond's an 'Iron Man 2' Whore (FilmDrunk)Werner Herzog Reads Where's Waldo (Unreality)Girl + Fitness Ball = Epic Face Plant (TotalProSports)If Ninjas Made a Wall Callendar (Maxim)Josh Barnett Plans His Fake Fighting Future (CagePotato)Leighton Meester Long Legs Megapost (CelebJihad)13 People Over 100 Doing Crazy Stuff (Smosh)10 Hottest Gingers (Pajiba)Mustache Gun (Atom)Cheapest Workouts fro Men (MadeMan)What It's Like to Ride in a Stock Car (AllLeftTurns)
"J.J., if you touch me again, I'll end you."Vulture's got some craaaaaaazy news, y'all. J.J. Abrams next movie will supposedly be both a tribute and a collaboration with his father from another lover Steven Spielberg. From Vulture's mysterious inside source:An insider tells us that Abrams is just now finishing a script described as “a tip of the hat to [Spielberg’s] movies of the 70’s and early 80’s.” We’re also told that Abrams plans to “roll up his sleeves and direct the script himself” by early this fall for Paramount Pictures, where he's based.Plot details are top secret – as if there’s any other kind of plot detail in Abramsland — but we’re told that like Spielberg’s Jaws, Close Encounters of the Third Kind, and E.T., the project will deal with everyday people whose personal relationships are tested when they are thrown up against extraordinarily fantastic – and possibly other-worldly – events.So THAT'S what you've been up to, Abrams, you wily S.O.B. You've been writing a shark/alien movie for you to direct and Spielberg to produce. The title for the film is being kept under lock and key and dirt and lead blanket, but Bearsharktopus would clearly be most apted. And if it's about anything other than a hybrid bear-shark-octopus, I'm not sure I want anything to do with it.
"Follow me, Edward. Onto a project far gayer."Oscar-winner Bill Condon (Kinsey, Dreamgirls, Gods and Monsters, Candyman: Farewell to the Flesh) is ready to swell the hearts of weepy teenaged girls everywhere. Just like Cinn-a-bon.Summit has announced that they have tasked him with directing the spell-binding romance and shirtless dudefest that is Twilight: Breaking Dawn. “I’m very excited to get the chance to bring the climax of this saga to life on-screen," said Condon. Which is fine, as long as he doesn't bring it on my Edward Man-Pillow. The Wayans Brothers are said to already be accepting breakdancing werewolf applicants for Twilte: To The Break-a Break-a Dawn. I'm kidding, of course. But how soon until this actually goes into production?
Is a movie based on a soothsaying billiard ball unnecessary? As I see it, yes. Will that prevent Paramount from making an action-adventure film based on Mattell's Magic 8 Ball? Outlook not so good.Paramount Pictures has decided audiences are finally ready to embrace the Zen simplicity that is Magic 8 Ball: The Motion Picture. …Paramount has assigned as producer its former production chief, Brad Weston. The Paramount plan, we hear, is to turn Magic 8 Ball into a sort of live-action National Treasure–style action-adventure movie.Oh, I see. It will be a sort of live-action National Treasure-style action-adventure movie. Well, that makes perfect sense. Jerry Bruckheimer loves 8 balls. (Vulture)
Paramount has picked up the action screenplay Heatseekers for Michael Bay to get his sticky fingers all over, a.k.a. produce, not direct. Bay's company Platinum Dunes signed a first-look deal with Paramount last October to make lower-budget genre pictures, and Heatseekers written by newbie Georgie Mahaffey is the first project to get the Bay mushroom cloud seal of approval.In the mold of "Fast & Furious" and "Point Break," "Heatseekers" follows a young ex-military pilot who infiltrates a gang of aerial "pirates" working out of Bangkok and takes part in an elaborate tower heist using powered gliders and parachutes.Are people just making up professions now? Bank-robber-surfer makes sense, but an aerial pirate? That's something a Kevin James character writes down on a job application to impress a sexy CEO. Then the next thing you know he's ziplining off a building in Bangkok where his ineptitude leads to his success. Too bad an Asian street gang led by Bay has already had their way with James's dream girl while he was up in the air jackin' around. The title HEATSEEKERS! flies at the screen. Roll credits. (THR)
When thinking about the upcoming summer movie season, it’s hard to picture anything but Robert Downey Jr., Buzz & Woody, and Jake G. as a Persian with a British accent. And while we all enjoy a tasty summer club-banger (blockbuster) or two, the season always provides for a few smaller, limited-release “gems.” Many of these flicks are picked-up off the festival-circuit tours and sometimes go on to make a big cult-splash (The Wackness, Napolean Dynamite, Garden State), or even an awards-season run (The Hurt Locker, Little Miss Sunshine, Hustle & Flow). The following are ten under-the-radar flicks that may get some extra attention/theater releases by the summer’s end: The Trotsky
Sharon Osbourne is saying things. While promoting "Celebrity Apprentice," the reality show fixture revealed that a biopic about her slurry, hard-partying husband will soon go into production. The film, tentatively titled HurblemunbletopSHARON!!!!!!!, has a producer and lots of money according to Sharon.No cast or director have been announced yet but the production is said to be going with an unknown for the lead role. This could be the big break I've been waiting for. But here it is nearly 8:30 a.m. and I'm still sober. Time to go method. **pours tequila into bowl of Smart Start; snorts a line of kitty litter** YAHTZEE!!!! (Digital Spy)
Apparently only Josh Brolin matters on the new poster for Jonah Hex. Sure, Megan Fox is wearing a corsett, and the target audience is more likely to care about her heaving bosom than Brolin's mangled face, but she doesn't even get a tiny credit above the hackneyed tag. Sweet gatling gun, Jonah. Ever tried to fire one with one hand? The kickback alone would rip your G.D. arm off. Then you'd be an amputee with bad skin. There's a name for people like you: Sally Punkin. We drove her to tears in middle school. Well not me, but people I knew… (Yahoo)
Parkour, the hottest trend of the month that Casino Royale came out, is finally getting its own movie. After having been in development for three years, New Line has hired Matt Johnson to write a script about a pair of master bank robbers who excel at their take because of parkour. Because of all the rooftop banks, you see. Channing Tatum was once attached to the project but has since jumped ship.
Spirits aren't likely to reach out. While promoting A Nightmare on Elm Street, Brad Fuller has been talking up some of his other half-cooked films. For instance, what's the deal with Ouija?"‘Ouija’ isn’t really a horror movie per se, it’s definitely more of a big action-adventure movie along the lines of…I gotta be careful what I compare it to [cough-JUMANJI-cough, cough]. But you know, it’s like a big action-adventure movie. And that script…I’ve read a couple pages of it, it seems good." I have an irrational fear of Ouija boards and ghosts ever since I watched Witchboard in the late 80's. (Note: it was before the Internet existed and my best chance at seeing Tawny Kitaen nude (Note: Tawny Kitaen was once worth seeing nude.).)"There are definitely horror elements, because it’s about Ouija and what happens from an Ouija board, but it’s a much bigger film. I would call it an action-adventure with horror elements."An action-adventure with horror elements. Sounds a lot like driving through Detroit. **clumsy rimshot results in finger jammy** (BloodyDisgusting)
Rooney Mara is the little sister of uber-hottie Kate Mara. Even I'd feel self-conscious living in Kate's shadow, and I'm an adonis. Rooney starred alongside Michael Cera in Youth in Revolt, and can be seen as Nancy in the Nightmare On Elm Street remake/reboot/reimagining coming out this Friday.A word from Rooney: "For Halloween, my mom asked me what I wanted to be. I said Klara, the crippled girl in the movie Heidi."You clever, fox. Dress up like a cripple, everyone will assume you're disabled, and you'll reap the candy benefits. Check out more pics of the very able-bodied Rooney after the jump.
Steven Seagal has built a career laying his hands on other people. Recently this has brought controversy his way. What the man needs now is a comeback. Here are six projects that could easily put him back on top. Law and Order: SVU (Seagal Victims Unit)
Just the other day on Things I Never Say Day, I was saying how badly we need a sequel to The Ring. Preferably one that is 3D and focuses on a more teen-centric angle. Well, save up your shillings for an inflated ticket price because it looks like Paramount is intending to do just that. Dream House writer David Loucka on script duties. No details yet about how the girl in the old VHS will return but one scenario has teens finding a VCR that still works. Really?Okay. Honestly, you kids today with your Jason Beavers and sexting parties. VCR's aren't that old or difficult to find. Either this film takes place in 2025 or Afghanistan. (THR)
Think you can pull the wool over MY eyes, Pixar?! I knew this video for a supposed Lots-o'-Huggin' Bear was a Toy Story 3 ploy the second I hit play. Sure, it looks authentic, but if this bear really existed I would have owned the crap out of it back in 1983. It doesn't even matter that a bear with the word "hug" in its name doesn't even give hugs but instead just receives them (like a normal stuffed animal?), or that the grindhouse-esque commercial cuts off right before the bear slaughters the little girl in her sleep and then goes for the rest of the family. I simply had to have everything I saw advertised, or mother got the hose again. Check out the surprisingly well-done video after the jump. It must have taken the Pixar geniuses months to render the fuzzy tracking at the bottom of the frame.
"Doggarnit. People like me."It appears that Nicolas Cage's crappy sequel plate is full. It looks like the cash-strapped actor may be forced to choose between roles. From Vulture:Insiders confirm to Vulture that Columbia is facing a ticking clock on the rights to the BBQ-skulled Marvel Comics character: Legally, if the studio isn't in production on a sequel by November 14, 2010, the franchise automatically reverts to Marvel — which means the comic company's new owner, Disney. Insiders tell us that Columbia is asking Marvel for an extension. (Asking, pleading, it's a fine line.) But time is running out. Cage has spoken about his desire to make a second Ghost Rider; the issue is whether his schedule will be free before the deadline. Disney is also hoping to get him for a third National Treasure with Jerry Bruckheimer, which could be shooting as early as this fall and would presumably earn the star a hefty paycheck. And considering Cage's well-documented money troubles, that cash may trump his deep love of comic books.A Ghost Rider without Nicolas Cage wouldn't feel like a Ghost Rider film at all. That would be like The Punisher without Thomas Jane, or The Hulk without Eric Bana, or Iron Man without Terrence Howard. I can't even imagine a world where such travesties would be allowed.
In case you can't wait for the Jonah Hex trailer dropping later this week, SyFy has 11 seconds of footage for your impatient ass. The movie has had so many different writers, directors, reshoots, and delays I can only imagine that the final product will be somewhere between tolerable and intolerable. Wait what, it features Megan Fox in a corset and gattling guns strapped to an aggravated stallion? Take my money, box office cashier! (Movieline)Check out the footage after the jump…
"Seriously, any spare change you have. Just trying to get a bite to eat."Warner Bros. and DC Comics are developing a traveling show for the kids tentatively titled, "Batman Live." Alan Burnett, who is a veteran of "Batman: The Animated Series," will write the script which will include numerous villians, though no plot specifics have been unveiled beyond the usual "millionaire beats up the mentally-ill" framework. It's said the show may premiere in 2011 or wait to capitalize on the buzz of Christopher Nolan's third Batman film in 2012.Personally, I'm happy to see Batman "pulling a Conan" and taking his show on the road. I never approved of the way Six Flags Great Adventure replaced him with the Penguin to host The Batman Stunt Show. I'm with Batman. (THR)
Last summer's The Final Destination was intended to be the last film in the franchise until someone realized they forgot to include laser-eye surgery. And thus, The Final Destination 5 in 3D will breeze into theaters next year, knock over some paint thinner and cause a huge fire in the process.Eric Heisserer (Elm Street remake, The Thing prequel) has been hired to write the script. Plot specifics are not known at this time but it is said that New Line is looking to break out of the repetition of the previous entries. I'll keep you posted when the entirely new, totally retarded plot contrivances are announced. (THR)
Break open a celebratory tin of cat food! A source at Weta has told MarketSaw that a sequel to District 9 is in pre-production and will go before cameras this October. Peter Jackson will once again produce with Neill Blomkamp back in the director's chair. There's no word yet about the plot or the title of the sequel. Though my well-placed sources (who wish to remain anonymous) tell me they may involve an Electric Boogaloo.
Look, I'm in a box. The fourth and final trailer for M. Night Shyamalan's The Last Airbender has rained down all over our faces and minds and Hush Puppies. It's quite a bit more impressive than previous trailers and that mostly has to do with the addition of dragons. Like every other movie being released in the near future, The Last Airbender is being converted to 3D so that you can enjoy all the earth, wind, and fire right up in your face. I hope they play "September" by those guys on the soundtrack. That song is always fun to stumble around to when you're drunk at a wedding. Check out the trailer after the jump. The Last Airbender blows into theaters July 2.
If Venkman's artistic expressions weren't suppressed. Here are your weekend links.Tasty Black Widow 'Iron Man 2' Clip (Moviefone) Porn Stars Get Asked Where Babies Come From (Asylum)Bret Michaels in Critical Condition (PopEater)25 Drunk Babies (HolyTaco)Vaness Hudgens as Spider-Girl? (FilmDrunk)Drew Brees Is The Madden 2010 Cover Boy (TotalProSports)The Evolution of Raquel Welch (Unreality)A Fantastic Gallery of Booty (Maxim)Dana White's Latest WEC (CagePotato)Vanessa Hudgens Takes Candid Pics (CelebJihad)35 Things Hulk Fans Need (Smosh)The Pussification of Children's Movies (Pajiba)A Restaurant with Dancing?! (Atom)Aaron's 499 Odds (AllLeftTurns)
A few weeks ago we reported to you that Jacques d'Azur, the King of Cannes, went missing. Mr. d'Azur is now presumed dead, or lost forever on an island inhabited entirely by beautiful women, and the search is on to find his heir. This lucky person will fill in for Jacques at the 2010 Cannes Film Festival — an exclusive VIP trip of a lifetime worth of $10,000. You'll get the very same treatment that Jacques would have. That includes the premieres, the parties, the limos, the helicopter pads, and hobnobbing with A-List celebrities. This swanky trip is sponsored by Stella Artois 4%, so head on over to their site for complete details and to enter. You could be on a jet to the French Riviera before you know it. It's good to be the king. HURRY! CONTEST ENDS SUNDAY!
Paramount has won the rights to Sacha Baron Cohen's next comedy film after sending goats to the actor and his reps. That's right. Goats. They also gave him $20 million against 20% of the first-dollar gross. Which means he could stand to earn.. umm…. uh…. carry the one…consult with Clippy…. uh…. a lot of money. So that helped to seal the deal too.The film will star Cohen in a dual role, playing two characters we've yet to see. One is a goat herder and the other a deposed dictator who gets stuck in America. But back to the goats. Deadline reports, "visitors to WME were greeted by a goat wandering across the 3rd floor atrium — that is, until Ari Emanuel had the goat removed after it took a dump in the hallway."No fair. Brett Ratner dumps in that hallway all the time and he's still allowed to make deals.
Those who have always wished they could see Snake Plissken run around with the burnt-out facades of ruined Starbucks locations behind him have cause to celebrate. It's been announced that Breck Eisner is in talks to pull the let's-get-out-of-this-joint action-thriller Escape from New York, out of development hell.Breck Eisner, who directed Overtures' remake of "The Crazies," is in negotiations to helm the remake of "Escape From New York" for New Line.The remake has been a top priority for the company, which picked up the rights in March 2007, with Gerard Butler attached to star and Ken Nolan writing the script. The project then veered into development hell, losing Butler but amassing a penal colony of writers, among them Jonathan Mostow and Allan Loeb, and collecting then losing director Len Wiseman.Eisner's boarding should bring "Escape" back on track as New Line, sticking with the Loeb draft, tries to mix an origin story for anti-hero Snake Plissken and merge it with the story of the 1981 original. No word yet on when the Rock will resign himself to star with a brooding sigh. "Yeah, sure. Pass me that eye-patch." But expect that news soon. (THR)
First Iron Man punched Hugh Grant in the face, then danced dirty with Patrick Swayze, and now he's getting all artsy fartsy with Leonardo DiCaprio. The suits over at Paramount must be ecstatic that these mashups are making the rounds. Not that the release of Iron Man 2 needs much more hype, but it's an exec's wet dream to get a superhero franchise and James Cameron together by any means possible.
With the recent Hollywood push to produce and convert everything they possibly can into 3D, you gotta wonder if the major congloms are gonna work with their music departments to throw out a few more 3D gigs. To date, there have only been three such concert shows in theaters, with Hannah Montana being the only big success. Country singer Kenny Chesney releases his show to the masses this Friday, so we'll see how a cowboy fares. Fact is, “The Studio Man” has apparently forgotten that their largest and most loyal audience members are young adult males. Why can’t we score a show or two from a band that actually rocks hard (sorry U2 fans, they just don’t)? The following are eight bands/performers that, if given their own 3D theatrical film, would inspire some airborne devil-horns and bring in bank at the box office. Muse
Who is this giant, fossilized guy?Despite having had its soup pissed in time and time again, Ridley Scott has agreed to return to the Alien franchise. He gave some details about the "fresh" ideas we can expect to see in his prequel.“It’s set in 2085, about 30 years before Sigourney [Weaver's character Ellen Ripley]. It’s fundamentally about going out to find out ‘Who the hell was that Space Jockey?’ The guy who was sitting in the chair in the alien vehicle — there was a giant fellow sitting in a seat on what looked to be either a piece of technology or an astronomer’s chair. … We're hoping to have it in theaters in late 2011, or maybe the best date in 2012." Sounds as if they're taking a cue from The Thing prequel, and reverse-engineering a movie out of the crime scene found early in the first. Scott himself is aware of how badly the franchise sucks nowadays, citing AvP as "a pity" and wondering aloud how many Alien films there have been. There have been six, Ridley. And two Gladiator films. (MTV)
PEW. PEW. PEW.It's been a long time since we've heard anything about the adaptation of World War Z. Max Brooks, the book's author, spoke with MTV and gave the update that we're about a month away from seeing a rewrite from Matthew Carnahan. After that point, it's up to Paramount to decide when and how awesomely it gets made.He also acknowledged that the style of the book is impossible to translate to film and commended the original script's ability to weave a cohesive narrative from the numerous, sprawling entries in the book. Until we hear more, readers are advised to prepare for the impending zombie uprising. A nice way to do so would be with this combination night table/zombie-proof bat and shield. Also effective against cat burglars.
What does it take for Hollywood to start giving back? About $2.7 billion. By the time Avatar arrived on DVD and Blu Ray, 20th Century Fox took a special Earth Day initiative. James Cameron himself got his hands dirty to help plant a real tree. This tree won’t have any psychic powers, but it has some real significance to Avatar’s environmental message:Cameron, actress CCH Pounder and Fox Executives planted the first of 1,000,000 trees that will be planted in 15 different countries throughout the year. If you like, you can visit the James Cameron tree on the 20th Century Fox backlot. Just tell security I said it was aight.More story and pics after the jump…
Pure Ridley Scott is on display in this new clip from Robin Hood. Not that the action sequence of Robin and his merry men storming a French castle isn't exciting, but Ridley must stage these battles in his sleep now. He pulls a hot oil double-whammy here by having it poured from a vat by the enemy while at the same time hung in sacks on the castle gate by the heroes. Oil vs. oil?! Things are about to get slippery, yo!