Thirty-five years ago, this article's headline would have made absolutely no sense. Today, it has the power to send millions of nerds into a frenzy. TomTom has released a Darth Vader voice for their GPS system (a.k.a. nav computer). For just $13, the Sith Lord can guide you anywhere you need to go. Unfortunately, most Star Wars fans already know the way to their parents' basement, so the application is virtually useless. In addition to Vader, the voices of C-3PO, Yoda, and Han Solo are all slated to be released this summer. That's all fine and good, but I long for the day when I can type my address into my TomTom and hear the soothing voice of Jar Jar Binks tell me, "Wessa Goin' Home!" (Collider) Check out Darth Vader's TomTom recording session after the jump.
I don't feel all that comfortable sharing pictures of children on the Internet, but I am only here to serve and people have been eager to get a look at Matt Reeves' Let Me In. Though, for my own piece of mind, I'd like to ask that all perverts direct their lustfull eyeballs elsewhere and not at these first pics from the maligned remake of Let The Right One In. If you're willing to view responsibly, you can get a better look at Kick-Ass's Chloe Moretz as Abby the vampire girl and Kodi Smit-McPhee as her new friend Owen, in the pictures after the jump. And please sign the guestbook.
Iron Man 2 opened in first place on Friday night, earning an estimated $52 million, easily surpassing Alice in Wonderland with the biggest debut of 2010. But when it comes to superhero movies, Batman still reigns supreme at the box office.While weekend projections for IM2 are an impressive $135 million, it's a far cry from the $158.4 million brought in by The Dark Knight, which holds the all-time first weekend record.I guess this shouldn't come as a surprise. Batman could clearly beat Iron Man in a fight. Tony Stark and Bruce Wayne are both geniuses and millionaire playboys, but Bruce Wayne is motivated by an unquenchable thirst for vengeance. And as we all know, vengeance is a powerful motivator. Just ask my old high-school nemesis, Joseph Sinclair. I showed him…him and that wife of his. (Collider)
What is it with people and their five fingers?Toby Jones is in final negotiations to play villain Armin Zola in Captain America: The First Avenger. Title not look familiar? That's because it used to be The First Avenger: Captain America. Give yourself a few days to adjust. Like when your parents got divorced.The British actor is best known for playing Truman Capote in Infamous, Karl Rove in W., and the grocery clerk with a penchant for gun slinging in The Mist. He'll be joining Hugo Weaving, who's already been cast as Red Skull, in an effort to give Captain America a really tough time. Jones' character, Armin Zola, is a scientific genius specializing in genetics and cloning. So don't be surprised when a herd of two-headed sheep stampede an entire city. (/Film)
**Honk honk honk!!!**Here are your weekend links.Terrence Howard to Play Nelson Mandela (Moviefone) Intimate Gymnastics Will Pump You Up (Asylum)Top Celebrity Commencement Speeches of All Time (PopEater)25 Worst Moms Ever (HolyTaco)RPattz & KStew Make It Official (FilmDrunk)When Adult Cartoon Series Collide (Unreality)Wrestling Backflip Fail (TotalProSports)10 Best Movie Cliffhangers (Maxim)BJ Penn Is Still a -365 Favorite (CagePotato)Miss USA Disgraces Her Country (CelebJihad)10 Best Twictures (Smosh)Gwyneth Paltrow Career Assessment (Pajiba)Iron Manly (Atom)13 Ways to Ruin a Date (MadeMan)Showtime Southern 500 Odds (AllLeftTurns)
Inception set up a viral game called Mind Crime that if you beat it you could watch the new trailer for the film. Well guess what? Screw that noise! Someone else played that shiz and now we're all reaping the benefits. The new trailer looks downright awesome. I still have no idea what the F is going on, but I WANT to know, and someone once told me that's a win on the marketing side of things. This film looks like a serious trip, and with Christoper Nolan behind the wheel I have no doubt the destination will be Giddyland. I'll bring the diapers if you bring the Sour Patch Kids. Check out the trailer after the jump. Inception gets inside theaters and your mind July 15.
Hey everyone, meet Luke Sampson Busey! Proud papa Gary Busey introduced his 10-week-old son on Thursday evening's "Entertainment Tonight." Girlfriend Steffanie Sampson is the person responsible for bringing another Busey into the world on Feb. 23. My sources tell me world leaders are gathering at a secret summit this evening to decide how to proceed.
Okay, new secret to success. If at first you don't succeed, throw out all your ideas and retell someone else's story with the addition of zombies. It worked for Pride and Prejudice and Zombies and the new "Melrose Place." ZING!!! (Tired concepts get tired jokes.)The Beatles are Hollywood's latest undead remix with the announcement that Double Feature has optioned Alan Goldsher's novel Paul Is Undead. The book tells the history of the undead band as they invade the world while evading zombie hunter Mick Jagger and Eighth Level Ninja Lord Yoko Ono. Racist much? I mean, just because Mick Jagger is British doesn't automatically make him a monster killing expert. It's stereotypes like that that hold us back as a people. (Deadline)
Inception continually insists on spitting in gravity's face. If Sir Isaac Newton laid eyes upon this new poster his powdered wig would spin round from pure outrage. What's the floor?! What's the ground?! City-dwellers have to spend most of the day just trying to maintain their balance. It's the maintenance workers I feel the most sorry for, though. The high rise window washers must curse their existence with each rising sun. (IMPAwards)
"I found this in Mrs. Lee Jones' sock drawer."Will Smith and Columbia Pictures have officially chosen a date, so you can stop asking all the time, Will Smith's mom. As foretold in the Ancient Scrolls of Fresh Princia, Men in Black 3D will indeed open Memorial Day Weekend 2012. Deadline reports that the sequel has set the film for a May 25th, 2012 release. Known in many circles as "Big Willy Weekend." Note: circles of idiots.Tommy Lee Jones has yet to sign on, nor has Josh Brolin. The production is in the process of finalizing their deals. It's unclear at this point which role Jaden Smith will be shoe-horned into, but I'm sure it will be justly earned. He'll earn it you guys.
This Sunday, May 9th, it's Mother's Day, a holiday that celebrates all the gloriousness that is “Mom.” It’s a day to show love and appreciation for the woman who raised you. But what if she didn’t do all that great of a job? Well, you're in luck, son! Screenjunkies has designed some very special greeting cards for the parentally challenged Mommy Dearests out there, and they can all be yours, right now. Send one with adoration, or send one with contempt, just as long as you send one. It’s really the thought that counts. Click on the TITLE of each video to take you to that card's individual page. Then forward the URL to Mom or Grandma! Or just send her the whole batch!
Though best known for her role as Ashley on the popular series "Fresh Prince of Bel-Air," Tatyana Ali has continued to act (to some peoples surprise), has not gotten arrested for drugs, has not had any children with loser men, and has launched a music career. A word from Tatyana: "It doesn't matter what the outcome is as long as I did it."The outcome matters if it's an STD. But if you get a pretty awesome sex story out of it, I guess it's worth it.More pics of Tatyana all grown up after the jump.
Every young actress in Hollywood is vying for the lead in The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo. It's like their Captain America.Executives at Sony insist that they are nowhere near casting the part, but Carey Mulligan, Ellen Page, Kristen Stewart, Mia Wasikowska, Natalie Portman, Keira Knightley, Anne Hathaway, Olivia Thirlby, and Scarlett Johannsen are actively campaigning for the role all the same. Mulligan has lunched with the screenwriter and Page has written a heartfelt note to the producer. Johannsen gave Hathaway an upper-decker and Kristen Stewart has just kinda stood around looking emo. Despite these sincere attempts, director David Fincher may cast an unknown for the part because he feels the material is strong enough to not require a name actress.Although Brad Pitt has reportedly been offered the male lead. They should just cast Angelina. I'm sure she has a dragon tattooed on her someplace. (Deadline)
"Mmmm, I'd like to be the meat in this sandwich."A little birdy told Deadline that Dwayne Johnson is sniffing the butt of a lead role in Fast & Furious 5, or the title Paul Walker wrote in crayon on his Trapper Keeper, Fast Five. Johnson is already starring in the revenge drama Faster where he'll also be driving fast. We got it, Rock. You're a man. You like fast cars, fast women, and eating chili peppers with Vin Diesel. It would be really cool if you'd let Paul tag along sometime. He doesn't think you guys like him. Awww, come back here, Paul! You weren't supposed to hear that!
Jedi drunk with power. There should be an aptitude test administered before such a title is granted. And I'm not talking about the physical abilities section. I'm talkin' Scantron, analogies, that crap. Otherwise you're going to graduate a slew of Jedi who pretend their lightsabers are dicks. (BuzzFeed)May these links be with you. Career Watch: Gerard Butler (Moviefone)How You Search for Boobs (Asylum)Heidi Montag's Surgery Obsession (PopEater)25 Awesome Motorcycle Helmets (HolyTaco)'Groundhog Day' Reimagined as a Crappy Rom-Com (FilmDrunk)15 Awesome Cyborg Animals (Unreality)When Bobsledding and Skateboarding Collide (TotalProSports)10 Best Donuts in America (Maxim)Daley Serves Koscheck at Pre-Fight Press Conference (CagePotato)Rihanna Butt Pics Collection (CelebJihad)15 Most Bizarre College Courses (Smosh)Blockbusters, Leading Actors, Undressed (Pajiba)10 Indie Awesome Comedies You Missed (MadeMan)NASCAR Skydiver Crashes (AllLeftTurns)20 Sexy Latinas (RegretfulMorning)
Variety reports FOX will release prequel Rise of the Apes on June 24, 2011, with Rupert Wyatt confirmed to direct. In a lie I just made up, he promised me he wouldn't cast Marky Mark or Helena Bonham Carter in any of the roles. Oooo Burton burn. Rise of the Apes is "an origins story set in present-day San Francisco. The film is a reality-based cautionary tale, where man's own experiments with genetic engineering lead to the development of intelligence in apes and the onset of a war for supremacy." When you play God with monkeys you get talking monkeys that can do math and read. Those skills alone make them superior to the average American!Peter Jackson's visual effects company WETA Digital will handle all of the effects on the film. They will render, for the first time ever in the film series, photo-realistic apes rather than costumed actors. Hmmmm, interesting (strokes sparse-haired chin). I hope they consider intermixing some practical effects as well. You really can't beat the realism of the apes in Congo.Stop playing God, Dylan Baker!!!
Kerry Washington starred in Ray alongside Jamie Foxx, who went on to win an Oscar. She then starred in The Last King of Scotland alongside Forest Whitaker, who went on to win an Oscar. Hey, male leads, you might want to look into working with Kerry. A word from Kerry: "I don't ever want to play a black prostitute."Then I suggest you keep getting acting gigs. More pics of the classy Kerry after the jump.
"Is your refrigerator runnin'?! J'amon!" Apparently Michael Jackson and Russell Crowe used to be the best of pals. After L.A. Confidential the two become very close, I assume because of their mutual adoration for Jerky Boys albums, and Jackson would often prank-call Crowe. The former gladiator told GQ UK, "A gruff voice would say something was wrong, then this tiny little voice said, ‘Don't worry. This is Michael."Don't worry?! That's when the worrying begins! I'd prefer a loan shark with emphysema and straight razors for hands than Michael Jackson. It's just a good thing Crowe wasn't in the same room. The Sorry, Wrong Number scenerio would have ended with a rotary phone embedded in the King of Pop's skull. (Vulture)
Kristen Wiig is ready to make repetitive funny noises in full THX Pro Cinema Sound. The "Saturday Night Live" star has shelled out her hard-earned MacGruber dough to option and adapt Monica Drake's novel Clown Girl. She's got her eye on the lead role of Nita aka Sniffles the Clown, a street fair entertainer struggling to make ends meet while trying to resist the lure of selling her body to clown fetishists.There are clown fetishists? THAT'S SICK! **He says as he scrubs grease paint out of his boxers** (Deadline)
They're linked like E.T. and Elliott.We were excited when we heard that J.J. Abrams would be tipping his hat to the early films of Steven Spielberg for his next directorial project. Only because we were certain we'd see an alien shark that hunts treasure. Apparently, that's NOT the case though.Turns out that his soon-to-premiere super secret-double-probationary teaser for Super 8 is not a Cloverfield sequel or prequel or squeekquel after all. It's a teaser for the joint he's doing with Spielberg. The one that doesn't feature any Nazi-killing alien sharks./Film has a source who saw the teaser and provided an in-depth description. I've posted it after the jump along with an EXCLUSIVE screen cap. Don't get mad at me if the information turns out to be wrong. I'm just telling you what a guy heard from another guy.TEASER SYNOPSIS AND SCREEN CAP AFTER THE JUMP…
Hells Angels founding member Sonny Barger OR Mickey Rourke circa 1994?In addition to Potsdamer Platz, Mickey Rourke is circling another Tony Scott project, and he's circling this one menacingly on a motorcycle while yelling hate speech. Typical Mickey.Rourke is up for the role of the outlaw Sonny Barger in Hells Angels, a script that Scott has been developing for ten years. Now, Scott Frank has been brought in to rework the script that tells the story of a young cop who infiltrates the nefarious gang. This is spot-on casting. I can't think of a single actor more appropriate than Mickey Rourke for the grizzled Hells Angels founder. You could have a motorcycle growing out of your ass, and Mickey Rourke would still be more appropriate for the role. (Deadline)
There have been montages of mirror scares and company arriving in film, and now our friends at Pajiba have put together one of characters shouting, "Get out of there!" They may have managed to find the line in every movie ever made. Kudos, Guys. Now clean up your bags of Late Night Tacos Doritos and get some shut eye. And then GET THE HELL OUT OF THERE! (Pajiba)
Have you seen this man? Well, people across the world have seen him randomly in their dreams and I don't just mean ladies looking for a good time. Deadline reports that Bryan Bertino (The Strangers) is teaming up with Sam Raimi's Ghost House Pictures to bring this man's story to the screen.In This Man, the protagonist learns that he has been appearing in the nightmares of complete strangers. Ghost House has purchased the rights to www.thisman.org, a real website created by an Italian sociologist who has been tracking this real-life phenomenon. Insiders are referring to it as "a hair raising story that will be sure to delight horror fans.”Also delighted? Inevitable leading man Todd Barry.
Official.We've got official coming out of our asses today. So much official I decided to compile it all into one officially official post. Wookie, cue the official music! **Cue Salt n' Pepa**Kick-Ass director Matthew Vaughn is officially directing X-Men: First Class and 20th Century Fox has officially set a June 3rd, 2011 release date. The film will center on Charles Xavier and Erik Lensherr before they took the names Professor X and Magneto, and they were just two young men discovering their powers for the first time. And chillin'. Breaking Dawn, the final (yaaay!) film in the The Twilight Saga, has nabbed the official release date of November 18, 2011. It's recommended that Twi-Hards starting lining up at theaters after band practice and their orthodontist appointments today. A favorite film at Sundance this year, Cyrus, will officially open in select theaters on June 18, 2010. Jonah Hill will face off against himself, as Get Him to the Greek also opens that same day. Can theaters safely contain that much Jonah?Whew. Now THAT'S official, yo. (/Film,/Film,/Film)
It looks like John McClane won't retire from the murdering people in ridiculous ways business anytime soon. The super cop, who was last seen surfing on a jet, is being given another go-'round by 20th Century Fox. The studio is in talks with A-Team screenwriter Skip Woods to pen a fifth adventure for Bruce Willis's iconic ass-kicker.Woods is the only appropriate choice to write this film. McClane has already killed terrorists with icicles, giant fans, and gravity on a few occasions. Not to mention the time he killed a helicopter by launching a car at it. Who better to team him with than the writer responsible for a tank fighting a jet miles above the earth? I'm going to be sorely disappointed if this film doesn't have Bruce Willis tie the muzzle of a rifle into a bow so that it explodes in the gunman's hands. That's clearly the direction Fox wants to go in. (THR)
For Cinco de Mayo, Robert Rodriguez dropped a package off at the home of his AICN homies, and it turned out to be the "illegal" trailer for Machete hidden underneath a pound of tamales. Alright, I'm not certain about the tamales, but it's how I deliver all of MY packages.
Peter and Michael Spierig, the directors of Daybreakers and Unwatchable Undead, have been hired for a sequel to 1982's most child-brain-scarring puppet film The Dark Crystal. A press release from The Henson Company announced that the film will stay true to its puppetry roots and resist the overuse of CGI. But don't worry. It will be presented in price-gouging 3D. Which scares the crap out of me.I saw this film over 25 years ago and I still can't socialize properly or sleep through the night. I'm still haunted by nightmares where monsters pull their eyeballs out and attack elves that look like Julian Lennon. Now that Power of the Dark Crystal is on its way, I'll more than likely go full-on shed-living recluse. Guess I'd better start getting use to the taste of squirrel and other rodents. **dials Zen Chinese Kitchen** (Henson)
On-set romances always end badly.James Van Der Beek will soon have another poster to add to his fictitous wall. For his next project, Steven Spielberg will send a horse to war. The Saving Private Ryan director optioned Michael Morpurgo's novel War Horse, a story about a horse on the front lines of World War I as he inspires his platoon and longs to return to the farm on which he was raised.I'm really looking forward to the inevitable scene where the horse shows the other soldiers a photograph of the philly he's gonna marry back home. Movies like this always have those. (Variety)
Perfect. Lindsay Lohan is officially set to play 70s porn star icon/oral pleasure pioneer Linda Lovelace in the biopic Inferno. The film's producer Walid Razaqi confirmed that Lohan secured the part, and that they'll be an official announcement at the Cannes Film Festival. Razaqi stated, "For at least a year, the director and I have gone back and forth imagining how awesome of a performance she could give if she was in the movie." Please be more specific, Walid. Were you guys hangin' down in the basement, passing the Sunny D and discussing Lohan's depth and range as an actor, or did one of you casually hold up a banana and say, "I bet Lindsay Lohan could take all of this."This isn't the first racy project Lohan has taken on since she entered Phase 2 of career suicide. She attempted to get asses in the seats again by playing a stripper in I Know Who Killed Me, and she'll appear topless in Machete just for the hay of it. Deep Throat seemed like a sensible next step. (LATimes)
Anya Monzikova is a textbook example of why Russian chicks are so ungodly hot. Growing up in Florida, she got her start modeling for various lingerie magazines until finally making her way into television modeling in shows such as "Deal or No Deal."A word from Anya: "I just stayed home watching TV and learning english by watching Sesame Street!"Only downside, no dirty talk during sex. Unless you're willing to learn a few new words, yes? Brush up on your Russian with more pics after the jump.