We (me) were very excited at the news that Alice Eve was in talks to play the precariously-clothed Emma Frost in Matthew Vaughn's X-Men: First Class. You were all instructed to get down to your local wishing wells with an sh*t ton of pennies, and wish this thing into reality. So, what the hell? Today it's reported that talks have fallen through, and "Mad Men" actress January Jones will be filling the role.
Nothing against Jones, but NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! We were so close to combining this:
Now we'll never know what that looks like because you guys didn't wish hard enough. Somebody owes me pennies. (Deadline)
Gary Busey plays Norman Tugwater: Fantasy Sports Lawyer. His job is to help already filthy rich athletes get their piece of the fantasy league pie. Adrian Peterson and Shaq aren't afraid to call him their attorney. I'd be afraid to call him my anything. The man's face is so asymmetrical.
Drink down these links. Drink 'em down!
Jimmy Kimmel Finds A Lawyer For Tila Tequila's 'Juggalos' Lawsuit (TVSquad)
Rare Collection Of 3D Nude Pin-Ups At Film Forum (Asylum)
The 7 Greatest Homemade Sex Toys For Men (Ranker)
This Is How You Get Chicks (HolyTaco)
Fishburne Done Talking to his Porn Star Daughter (FilmDrunk)
Undressed To Impress (Maxim)
French Babe Robbers Steal Man's Cash After Distracting Him With Tits (BarStoolSports)
Rollerblades + Stupidity (EgoTV)
10 British Television Actors That America Should Steal (Pajiba)
Gallery Of The Coolest Comic Book Tattoos (Unreality)
Amazing Basketball Shot From A Free Fall Ride (TotalProSports)
Google Earth Captures A Dead Body?!!! (Smosh)
New Eva Mendes Pics From 'Flaunt' Magazine Shoot (BroBible)
Is Megan Fox Hotter Than Brigitte Bardot? (CelebJihad)
Matt Horwich, The New Middleweight Champion Of The Multiverse (CagePotato)
Sex, Blood, And Rolling Stone's New 'True Blood' Cover (PopEater)
Swedish Man Sets Speeding Ticket Record (MadeMen)
I'll never have to Photoshop them kissing again.
I'd be lying if I didn't say that reporting on Darren Aronosky's Black Swan hasn't been a rocky road. First, we were promised girl-on-girl between Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis. Then, we were told no Natalie boobs. Then we saw some freaky pics. And now we have video of the stars kissing and touching one another's naughty bits. This marks the first time I've ever been turned on by something Kafkaesque. I guess there's a film trailer attached to that footage too. If you're into that kind of thing.
If you're still reading, the trailer is after the jump…
The news that there is a film in the works based upon the board game Battleship is a crazy enough notion. So, why am I still surprised by the casting news? We've already reported that Rihanna had joined the cast, because there was apparantly a Rihanna-like character intrinsic to the storyline. Now it has been announced that swimsuit model and Transformers 3 hopeful Brooklyn Decker will play Taylor Kitsch's love interest in the film. I mean, movie. I mean, commercial. I mean, Peter Berg's excuse to party with Rihanna and Brooklyn Decker. (Deadline)
This feels like a formality, but some of the stars of the upcoming Piranha 3D felt it necessary to create a For Your Consideration video to drum up Oscar support. In my opinion, it's already a shoe-in, and I haven't even seen it yet because the studio won't screen it for critics, most likely because it's too amazing to show early.
Jerry "Hollywood Treasure" O'Connell, Adam Scott, Kelly Brook, and Paul Scheer are a few of the cast members asking for your vote this award season. If nothing else, the film should definitely have a lock on the Best Penis Being Gobbled Up and Spit Out in 3D category. The scene of that in Inception was just so-so.
Check out the campaign video after the jump…
Kelly Brook is one hot pot of English tea. I tried my best to give a range of pictures here from the artfully tasteful to the fake orgasm moan, but there are just too many out there, and more coming soon as she burns up the pages of this month's Playboy. There is one reason to see Piranha 3D this weekend: Kelly Brook naked in 3D.
A word from Kelly: "I’ve got boobs and a bum and if people think I’m fat, I honestly don’t care"
If you're fat, may the world be populated by big fat fatties like you.
More insanely hot pics of Kelly after the jump…
Hugh Jackman had better turn in his Man Card. Dude, just passed up the chance to play beauty parlor in Avon Man in favor of lifting a bunch of weights. OMG! What a fop!
Sure, you can say that Jackman dropped out because the shooting schedule shifted, and he needs to get his arm muscles up to par for Wolverine 2. But we all know the truth, he'd rather just play with balls and lift weights all day. Hugh Jackman is just way too manly. Pretty much everyone knows that. (Deadline)
Last week when I reported that Stellan Skarsgard would possibly join the cast of The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo as Martin Vanger I questioned why Max Von Sydow wasn't on board yet. The man is practically a God in Sweden and deserves to be in Fincher's Sweden-based thriller. Now it appears Von Sydow is in talks to play retired industrialist Henrik Vanger, Martin's uncle and former CEO of Vanger Corp. So basically, I called that sh*t.
I realize all the hubbub was over who would play Lisbeth Salander, and Rooney Mara landed the role yesterday, but I've always been more concerned about Von Sydow. Sure, he's older now and his eyes bulge out of his skull a little too far, but he's sure to give Skarsgard and Daniel Craig a run for their money. I'll now start petitioning for Dolph Lundgren's involvement. He's making a comeback with The Expendables and I'm sure the film has a role for a giant, seven-language-speaking Swede. Or Mike Tyson.
Harry removes the webcam from Hermione's bedroom.
Put on your sorting caps or whatever 'cause I've got some pretty new images from Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1. I'm an upstanding citizen and a scholar, which is why I decided not to post the scans from last week's Entertainment Weekly that were floating around, but these high resolution pics are going to make you glad you waited. Like having the sex. Some we've seen before (Hermione's murder hands), but there's a few we haven't. I particularly like the one where Harry is peering out of a doorway behind Ron. It's like an Ingmar Bergman film, if Ingar Bergman dabbled in snufflepuffs and floobergobs. Those are wizard things, right?
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1 hits theaters November 19, 2010.
Check out the pics after the jump…
Monster movies have been around since actors realized they could still get paid if they climbed into a hot, rubber suit. It didn't take long for makers of those movies to figure out that those actors in rubber suits might be able to swim. So, they threw them into Universal's big ol' backstage swimming hole and let those actors attempt to stay afloat. Clever editors made it appear that they were attacking attractive teenage women. And, thus, a genre was born, the waterborne "creature feature."
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This morning, we have a second trailer for Gareth Edwards's Monsters. We didn't post the first trailer because, y'know, too much typing. Also, there wasn't much to be shown. But this time around, we have a sliiiightly more substantial look. And don't worry it doesn't include spoilers, so you should be in good shape if you want to walk into the theater without knowing too much. I'm all for preserving the mystery and watching through fresh eyes. It's rare that you get the opportunity, and Monsters is said to be an awesome giant monster movie with focus on character. Suck on that, Starship Troopers 2: Hero Of The Federation.
Take a stroll through the infected hellhole of Mexico after the jump…
The midget ones are kinda creepy, but damn if they can't shake it.
Get funky with these links.
'Unscripted' With Jason Bateman And Jennifer Aniston (Moviefone)
NYC Is All Out Of Room For The Dead (Asylum)
The 8 Greatest "Hot Chick" Internet Hoaxes (Ranker)
25 Jet Ski Fail Videos (HolyTaco)
The 7 Best Quotes From Tom Green's Juggalo Gathering Film (FilmDrunk)
The Worst Teams In College Football (Maxim)
300 Pound Teenager Will Stab A Mom For A Cheeseburger (BarStoolSports)
6 Funny Places To Play Dead (EgoTV)
Chin Up, Fanboys! America Hates Lots Of Great Movies (Pajiba)
Good Lord Sega, Are You Serious? (Unreality)
Mike Tyson's Brutal Honesty (TotalProSports)
Dropping E And Rolling With The Dance Party (Smosh)
10 Cardinal Rules For Visiting Las Vegas (BroBible)
Tila Tequlia Stoned By Righteous Mob (CelebJihad)
Chael Sonnen Says He Was Out When Josh Rosenthal Called The Fight (CagePotato)
For Charity Right? Jenny McCarthy Parties In Sexy Lingerie (PopEater)
Couture Gas Masks For A Stylish Apocalypse (MadeMen)
We finally have a first look at I'm Still Here, the "documentary" that chronicles Joaquin Phoenix's slow transformation into Zach Galifianakis. Directed by Casey Affleck, we're given a front row seat to Phoenix's imaginary breakdown. Absolutely riveting (in an imaginary way).
The trailer has a pretty cool voice-over. Is that Edward James Olmos? I think it is. If so, somebody get that guy a job selling Ford trucks immediately.
Check it out after the jump…
The X-Men: First Class casting news keeps on comin' today. Rose Byrne just joined the cast as Moira MacTaggert, and now Oliver Platt is set to play a non-mutant character mysteriously named The Man in Black. Hopefully his skill isn't blending into the background. Platt isn't exactly Crispin Glover thin.
The film, which begins shooting in London next month, has an impressive group of stars attached, including James McAvoy as Xavier, Michael Fassbender as Magneto, Alice Eve as Emma Frost, Nicholas Hoult as Beast, Jennifer Lawrence as Mystique, Caleb Landry Jones as Banshee, Lucas Till as Havoc, and Edi Gathegi as Darwin. And let us not forget Kevin Bacon, who will be terrorizing them all with his fancy footwork and/or something else. (Deadline)
Hollywood's most prominent young actresses can quit their cat fighting. Rooney Mara has been granted the coveted role of Lisbeth Salander in David Fincher's The Girl with the Dragon tattoo adaptation. Her deal includes an option for two sequels based off the second and third book in the Millennium Trilogy, The Girl Who Played with Fire and The Girl who Kicked the Hornet's Nest.
Mara, younger sister of hottie Kate Mara, will run and hack computers alongside Daniel Craig, who's already been cast as the investigative journalist and part owner of the magazine Millenium. Both Robin Wright and Stellan Skarsgard are also in talks for roles. Our deepest condolences go out to Ellen Page, Natalie Portman, Scarlett Johansson, Carey Mulligan, Mia Wasikowska, Emily Browning, and every other starlet who really REALLY wanted to nab the role of the decade. We hope these words help you in your time of grief: Life's unfair and stuff. (Deadline)
Lauren Jones shows that having a double major college degree in Hollywood doesn't get you by on smarts alone. A former model and ring girl for the WWE, she brings her lovely lady humps to The Expendables as Mickey Rourke's girl, Cheyenne.
A word from Lauren: “This business is not as glamorous as it looks! It's truly a lot of hard work and dedication. But it's worth it in the end.”
Because you get to ride on the back of Mickey Rourke's motorcycle. Hellz yeah.
More pics of Lauren after the jump…
The cast of Matthew Vaughn's X-Men: First Class grew a bit over the weekend. Rose Byrne has signed on to be adorable in the role of Moira MacTaggert, Professor X's hot piece of Scottish butt who later leaves him without explanation, and gives birth to a son who she needs to keep sedated due to his ability to warp reality. Mother of the year, people.
Also, joining the production is Jason Flemyng. He's a mainstay of Matthew Vaughn and Guy Ritchie films. In other words, he's British. He'll play the teleporting mutant Azazel, who is also Nightcrawler's dad. Looks like that mutant ability runs in the family. Though, blue skin does not. Looks like Mrs. Azazel's got some 'splaining to do!! (THR)
Sylvester Stallone choked out Julia Roberts over the weekend, and his movie also beat hers at the box office. Stallone's salute to gritty 80's action, The Expendables, easily took the top spot with $35 million. Audiences weren't as eager to see Julia Roberts get fat and f*ck. Eat, Pray, Love took the second spot with just under $24 million. Looks like the call to action worked, fellas.
Then there was Scott Pilgrim… well, Scott Pilgrim just kinda showed up, slumped its shoulders while gazing at its shoes before mumbling something about the new Arcade Fire album. Despite great reviews, producers just couldn't get fans of coin-op references and lesbian haircuts into the theater to see this one. But in all fairness, it was really sunny out in McCarren Park on Saturday. (Reuters)
Not exaaaactly film-related, but this new video from Yeasayer deserves a watch. Besides it stars a sexy Kristen Bell and she's in movies. AND, she plays an actress and that's film-related. Maybe it was even shot on film. Whatever, I don't need to justify this.
In the video for "Madder Red," Bell plays a struggling, young actress coping with the impending death of a beloved pet. Not exactly sure what the pet is though. But it's a great video, and serves as a much-needed reminder not to take the lumpy, puss-dribbling fleshballs in our lives for granted. I've really gotta call home more often.
Watch the video here.
Him and Gary Oldman should have a face-off. (WildAmmo)
Congratulations, kids! We did it! Toy Story 3, one the best animated, and live-action, movies of these past few years has become the highest grossing animated film of all time. The film has brought in more than $920 million worldwide, surpassing Dreamworks Animation's Shrek 2 ($919.8 million worldwide) for the title. All I can say is, daaaaaaaamn, that's a lot of cheddar in Woody and Buzz's pocket.
/Film points out that the price of 3D tickets must also be considered when comparing these box office numbers. Shrek 2 didn't have the benefit of charging theater patrons $20 a pop to see more stuff jump out at them. A film like The Lion King made $783.8 million worldwide in 1994, a number which would be adjusted to $1.54 billion today. Daaaaaamn, that's a lot of cheddar in Mufasa's pocket. Oh wait, he died in the film. RETROACTIVE SPOILER ALERT!
Get outta there, kid!
Here are your weekend links.
26 Fake Video Games In Movies And TV (FileFront)
Most Cursed Movies: 7 Films Plagued With Crazy Curse Stories (Moviefone)
Times Square 'Tin Man' Stabs Tour Guide (Asylum)
20 Landmark COmic Book Video Games (Ranker)
25 Hot Pictures Of Amanda Righetti (HolyTaco)
Evil Child Movie Critic (FilmDrunk)
Women Of Ink: Hottest Chicks With Tattoos (Maxim)
Choking Game For Kids? No Thanks. I'm Just Play Baseball (BarStoolSports)
5 Other Badass Dream Teams In Honor Of 'The Expendables'(EgoTV)
So Painfully Overrated: Julia Roberts Career Assessment (Pajiba)
Winnie Cooper Is Making Math Hot? (Unreality)
This Rollerblader Never Stood A Chance (TotalProSports)
Sxottie Pippen 1991 Sandwich Commercial for Mr. Submarine (BroBible)
'Glee' Satr Le Michele Loves Her Disgusting 'Jewish Nose'(CelebJihad)
BC Medical Body Calling For A National Ban Of MMA in Canada (CagePotato)
'Man Vs. Wild' Challenges Zac Efron (PopEater)
'Expendables' Terry Crews Offers Mandvice (MadeMen)
Countdown To 'The Expendables' Day 5 'First Blood' (MovieHopping)
Jeffrey Dean Morgan IS The Courier. Whatever that means. I'm not used to movie casting news that doesn't involve seven rounds of Disney teens vying to play a superhero. It looks like Morgan is going to play a bagman that needs to deliver a briefcase to a hard-to-find crimeboss, while dodging crooked cops, gangsters, and federal agents. Why isn't Jason Statham in this? It's his whole thing — running around like a maniac and jumping his cars over drawbridges. Does this not involve driving a car? I guess Jeffrey Dean Morgan is the new on-foot Jason Statham. Tough break, Timothy Olyphant. (Deadline)
The TMNT shirt makes it all the more powerful.
"Ank ooo or isss onor."
Karl Urban was offered the role of Judge Dredd a few weeks ago, and now he's officially said, "Sure, why the hell not." The film's producers Andrew Macdonald and Allon Reich are determined to make this new adaptation not suck like the Stallone one did:
“The main thing about Dredd is that it’s a fantastic comic that was completely messed up 20 years ago," said Macdonald. "Our idea is to make a very hard, R-rated, gritty, realistic movie of Dredd in Megacity, so we’ve got to get the tone right. He’s not going to take off his helmet. His bike is going to feel real. He’s going to hit people and it’s going to feel real."
No word yet if director Pete Travis will bother developing tactile technology to literally punch audience members in the face. It seems like the next step in total entertainment immersion, but some people just aren't ready to REALLY watch movies. (Empire)
James Cameron is saying awesome things again. I love the way he talks. He's the perfect mix of Ned Flanders and drill sergeant that will stomp your mudhole. This news may come as a big "DUUUUHHHH" but the HMFIC revealed to MTV Movies Blog his plans to include underwater filming in Avatar 2.
"I think what we should do there is — because we'll have to have characters that are in and under the water — is that we should actually capture them underwater. It's not the same as going diving, but I like to keep my diving, which I do for pleasure, separate from work. Diving for shooting a movie is work. Diving for exploration is a gas. I like to keep my peas and carrots separate."
Awww… doesn't he just say the darndest things? Peas and carrots. That's some Canadian charm. Go on and tell us about the re-release of Avatar, you folksy so-and-so. I want you to be my new grandpa.
"You mean the alien kink scene? It's been restored, every last frame of it. Seriously. All 20 seconds of it."
Grandpa, don't say gross stuff around my friends!! Yuck!! Gross!! He called boot-knockin' "kink". What are they teaching up there in Canada?!!
Charisma Carpenter, the former queen bitch of the "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" and "Angel" series, just turned 40 last month, which means she fully qualifies for MILF status now. This week she'll be showing up as Jason Statham's girlfriend in The Expendables, with sadly no Crank-like sex scene between the two.
A word from Charisma: "I was a little turned off by the idea of doing another bitch. But my agent put it to me quite frankly, that you have to be known before you can be typecast."
He must have also stressed that the part came with money, and money is good for buying food and shelter. That argument gets me everytime.
More pics of Charisma after the jump…
Hey, here's the poster for Ben Affleck's Bank Rob Town – Population: Bankrobbers. Did you know that there are 300 bank robberies a year in Boston? It's true. OR, SO THE TRAILER FOR THE TOWN WOULD LIKE YOU TO BELIEVE.
I've actually checked the FBI crime stats for the past 10 years. On the low end it's 140 per year, and on the high it's 300 bank jobs per year (225 average)… for the entire Commonwealth of Massachusetts. Affleck cooked the numbers. If he had said "Greater Boston area" I'd let it go. Now I can't.
Enjoy your nun dress, jerk.
Warner Bros is determined to bring back that rascally rabbit Bugs Bunny, sans Brendan Fraser and Michael Jordan this time. David Berenbaum (The Spiderwick Chronicles) has been hired to write Bugs Bunny, a live action/CG feature film. The studio must want to jump on the new wave of reviving old cartoon characters through the use of computer magic. As of late, we've been subjected to Marmaduke, The Smurfs, and Yogi Bear, and now the "Looney Tunes" bin is being raided.
I've been a huge fan of Bugs Bunny for as long as I can remember. The "Looney Tunes" cartoons were way ahead of their time, and the talented Mel Blanc, who voiced Bugs along with Elmer Fudd, Daffy Duck, and Porky Pig, managed to create a stable of characters whose catch phrases will live on forever. I especially enjoyed when he'd raise his voice an octive when Bugs dressed up like a girl bunny. There's a fine line between pre-op and post-op delivery, and he nailed it. (Deadline)
I know I'm not alone in citing The Empire Strikes Back as my favorite Star Wars film. It built upon the mythos presented in the original and expanded the universe in very cool ways and played up the darker tones without transparently trying to sell more toys. And it didn't include Ewoks. Gary Kurtz was George Lucas's partner for the first two films in the saga, and now he's speaking out for the first time about what makes the series suck now. Namely, it's Lucas's greed and desire to sell more toys. Beam me up (or something) LA Times!
"I could see where things were headed. The toy business began to drive the [Lucasfilm] empire. It's a shame. They make three times as much on toys as they do on films. It's natural to make decisions that protect the toy business but that's not the best thing for making quality films…. The first film and ‘Empire’ were about story and character, but I could see that George’s priorities were changing. The emphasis on the toys, it's like the cart driving the horse."
Oh snap! Equestrian BURN.
“We had an outline [for the third film] and George changed everything in it. Instead of bittersweet and poignant he wanted a euphoric ending with everybody happy. The original idea was that they would recover [the kidnapped] Han Solo in the early part of the story and that he would then die in the middle part of the film in a raid on an Imperial base. George then decided he didn’t want any of the principals killed. By that time there were really big toy sales and that was a reason.”
That totally almost explains Jabba's faaaabulous uncle, Ziro the Hutt.