The new trailer for Shrek Forever After has hit, and it seems Dreamworks is kickin' it up a notch. Don't worry, it's still a kids' movie. I just try to find the most perverted part of everything and anything, and exploit it. I'm a big fan of the first Shrek, and even the second and third have their moments, but in Shrek Forever After I swear I can hear the staticy sound of crisp Benjamins passing over the mic as the cast counts their residuals. Far Away Land has grown tiresome, and the jokes about the fairy tale creatures we know and love fall flat. Will the Shrek series go out with a bang or a soft, wet fart? Find out May 21, 2010. Check out the donkey on cat action below.
This isn't a done deal yet but there's a lot of speculation that Steven Spielberg will choose Robopocalypse for his next directing gig. Based on an unpublished manuscript, Robopocalypse tells the story of humankind's struggle after the robot uprising. Cloverfield's Drew Goddard is on scripting duties. I'm picturing a mix of War of the Worlds and Schindler's List.Like I said, this is all industry insiders speculating so it could just as easily go away. What I do know is that you can't trust a machine. They could be anyone at anytime.(Deadline)
This little German girl can identify Han Solo using only her tongue. Somewhere in the universe Princess Leia is seething. Don't put these links in your mouth.iPod Nano 'Green Zone' Giveaway! (Moviefone)March Madness Bracketology (Asylum)Heidi Montag Fires Spencer, Hires Psychic (PopEater)Hot Gamer Chicks (HolyTaco)Corey Feldman Auditions for Cry Baby (FilmDrunk)100 Greatest Jewish Movie Moments (Heeb)15 Pokemon Brought to Life (Unreality)Mascot Eats ESPN's Michelle Beadle (TotalProSports)Hot Pics of Alice Eve (Maxim)7 Ways to Hook Up with a Leprechaun (Smosh)Emma Watson Shows Her Thighs to the Paparazzi (CelebJihad)Rachelle Leah to Return as Guest Octagon Girl (CagePotato)10 Most Anticipated Films of SXSW (Pajiba)Unicorns! (Atom)15 Things to Never Do with Your Girl (MadeMan)What Happens to All the Lug Nuts? (AllLeftTurns)7 of the Luckiest Men in America (RegretfulMorning)
Relativity Media has announced an upcoming project, currently titled Untitled Comedy, that is comprised of several short sketches directed by a wide array of directors. Those who have already completed their contributions for the expanding project are Peter Farrelly, Bob Odenkirk, Elizabeth Banks, Griffin Dunne, and well-known funnyman Brett Ratner, as well as additional directors who will be announced shortly.The project has also announced some big talent. Gerard Butler, Seann William Scott, Kate Winslet, Elizabeth Banks, Liev Schreiber, Chloe Moretz, Hugh Jackman, Naomi Watts, Patrick Warburton, Kieran Culkin, Johnny Knoxville are all on board so far. There are no details what the shorts are about but we do know they will be linked in some way. Producer Charles Wessler described the film:“We all sat down and came up with what we think is a hilarious through-line for the movie. Given the amount of pot I had smoked, at least I think it is hilarious.” Ah, a producer too stoned out of his gourd to clearly delineate what is and isn't hilarious. That explains the hiring of Brett Ratner. (CinemaBlend)
From left to right: Jason Bateman, Andy Garcia, Ryan Reynolds, Ben Affleck…Jason Bateman and Ryan Reynolds are stepping into each other's skin for the David Dobkin directed comedy Change Up. From THR:Written by "Hangover" scribes Jon Lucas and Scott Moore, "Change-Up" is the latest entry into Hollywood's long line of body-switching movies. This one is a male-centric take on the genre, centering on a responsible family man (Bateman) who switches bodies with his best friend, a lazy man-child (Reynolds).Sooooo it's like The Odd Couple if Felix and Oscar switched bodies? Genius! I bet Bateman's character will wake up in Reynolds's messy apartment and be like totally, "WTF?!" He can't possibly cook a sensible breakfast with only Captain Crunch and used condoms.David Dobkin directed Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson to comedic gold in Wedding Crashers, but that was a fairly unique concept, not a shriveled-up rehash from the 80s. They may as well also work a talking dog in there to really round it out. I'm sure Joan Cusack is available.
He's being discreet about it.Not the most surprising of news, but Christopher Walken is now dabbling in the severed hand business. In Martin McDonagh's play A Behanding in Spokane, Walken is currently playing a psychotic one-handed man in pursuit of the appendage he lost 47 years earlier. Of course, the lines of reality and fiction have blurred for the actor, and when he would normally shout for more cowbell, he's now shouting for more hands.Walken is hoping the production will gift him with hands that he can keep in a special "souvenir" room he has set up in his house/dungeon. Not one person has seen the inside of this room and lived to tell about it. It was once believed that Natalie Wood accidently stumbled into it while looking for the bathroom, but she never revealed her findings. We all know how Walken took care of that… (Vulture)
Emilie de Ravin is best known for her role as Claire on Lost, and saying "Chawwwliee" in a really annoying tone of voice. She's a sexy Aussie though, so she gets more slack from me than I usually reserve for people who yell words strangly.A word from Emilie: "If you are lucky enough to find the right friends and places to hang out on, there are fantastic pockets in L.A."Especially at the corner of Hollywood and Vine. The hookers are extremely cordial.You're lucky enough to get more pics after the jump.
Leonardo Da Vinci the Italian painter, sculptor, architect, musician, scientist, mathematician, engineer, inventor, anatomist, geologist, botanist, and writer may be able to add another credit to his list of accolades — action hero. Due to the success of Sherlock Holmes, studios are buying up treatments that turn lieterary and historical figures into kick-butt do-gooders. Warner Bros has picked up a treatment called Leonardo da Vinci and the Soldiers of Forever, a re-imagining where Da Vinci is a member of a secret society who “falls headlong into a supernatural adventure that pits the man against Biblical demons in a story involving secret codes, lost civilizations, hidden fortresses and fallen angels.” Wow. And we all thought Kingdom of the Crystal Skull was retarded. Maybe this isn't a trend that we want to over-do. Kids are already bad at school and this will not help. But if we must continue down this path, can we please credit the man who did it first and did it best? Of course I'm talking about "Weird" Al Yankovic. The man is a visionary. (THR)
The new trailer for Robin Hood proves it's a tough business stealing from the rich and giving to the poor. Robin from da Hood, played with convincing mean-face by Russell Crowe, trots his way into Nottingham and says, "Nuh uh" when he witnesses how a despotic sheriff is treating his peeps. So he does what any other man in tights with a bow and arrow would do: he finds other men in tights with bows and arrows and forms a merry gang. Together they fight a smooth-headed Mark Strong, a formidable foe as Sir Godfrey, as Robin from Da Hood tries to get in Maid Marian's (Cate Blanchett's) panties. All of this is a lot more epic and romantic than I'm describing it, but you get the gist. Look folks, Ridley Scott directed the damn thing. You know what to expect. My words can't do sweeping wide-shots justice. Check out the new trailer after the jump. Robin Hood storms into theaters May 14, 2010.
Hilarious The Grudge Prank – Watch more Funny VideosThe last guy pranked is a punkass b*tch.Don't let these links getchya.Remembering Corey Haim (Moviefone)70 Awesome Chuck Norris Facts (Asylum)Oscar's Kanye-Woman Speaks Out (PopEater)25 Visual Puns (HolyTaco)The Big Lebowski Morality Continuum (FilmDrunk)Five Awesome Oscar GIFs (Unreality)Can You Resist the Gina Carano Lip-Bite? (TotalProSports)Girls in Tubs (Maxim)11 Signs You Had Too Much to Drink Last Night (Smosh)Corey Feldman Found Alive (CelebJihad)Tips for Mastering Your Ultimate Fighter Audition (CagePotato)5 Actors Who Need Themselves an Oscar (Pajiba)Straight Cop, Gay Cop (Atom)Own a Jetpack (MadeMan)LOL Race Pics (AllLeftTurns)
Jude Law gets his organ worked on. A red band trailer for Repo Men has been released, and for a movie centered around organ removal, it doesn't disappoint. You get Jude Law removing organs, Forest Whitaker removing organs, and a team of doctors… removing organs! The only person who isn't reaching into an orifice is Liev Schrieber, the reason being his hands are perpetually unsterile. How Naomi Watts stands it, I'll never know. Check out the entrails-filled red band trailer after jump. Disclaimer: it's bloody.
The adage 'time waits for no man…' was kicked in the teeth and taught to be less impatient with the news that Chuck Norris is celebrating his 70th birthday today. That's right. Seventy years and nine months ago today, the bearded sperm that would form Chuck Norris round-housed into an ovum and conceived the toughest man this world will ever know. Ryan, Oklahoma remains a crater to this day.In honor of the sacred day, his family plans to throw him a "know party" because you can't surprise Chuck Norris. If he were to throw it himself, it would circle the Earth and land at his heels. Happy Birthday, Chuck!
Jasika Nicole plays the lab assistant to Joshua Jackson's batshit crazy father in the FOX television show Fringe. She is also an illustrator and has created an autobiographical online comic called "High Yella Magic." I'm unaware if centers around tripping the light fantastic. A word from Jasika: "It's been almost three years since I learned how to ride the subways without getting lost or getting stuck in the closing doors." Awww, you poor, poor dear. When that started happening to Grandma my Pa sent her off to a farm. I'm pretty sure that means he shot her. Respect Jasika for her body AND her mind after the jump.
"Okay, Scarlett. You're good. Fellas, could you take eighteen huge steps back?"Yesterday's reports that The Office's John Krasinski was the frontrunner to play Captain America have been debunked. Obviously. Have you seen his hair? It's clearly not cool enough.So which muscle-y jerk is gonna play this guy? The list we reported on has been whittled down and a couple of names have been added. Producers are still keen on Tron Legacy's walking haircut Garrett Hedlund, though he has yet to test for the part. Mike Vogel is joined on the list by Chris Evans and Generation Kill's Wilson Bethel (aka who?).The role was expected to be cast by March 1st and has obviously run into some problems. The options in America are pretty bland and we can't just pop an Australian in the suit like we usually do. Stan Lee has really backed us into a wall with this whole America thing. (THR)
(Relax, it's apple juice.)The more slurry half of the Coreys has passed away. Corey Haim was found dead this morning after an apparent overdose of prescription drugs. TMZ reports that he collapsed in front of his mother just before 1 AM and was reported dead a little over an hour later after being rushed to the hospital.Haim rose to fame as a 1980's teen heartthob in such films as Silver Bullet, Lucas, The Lost Boys, License to Drive, and Dream a Little Dream. Problems with drug addiction led to a career spiral though he is said to have rehabilitated himself in 2004. He was seen most recently in A&E's The Two Coreys and Crank: High Voltage. He was 38. (TMZ)
Following in the footsteps of Brian Dennehy and Craig T. Nelson, Robert De Niro has signed on to play an iconic coach in the ESPN Films biopic Lombardi. Arguably the greatest coach in NFL history, Vince Lombardi led the Green Bay Packers to two Superbowl and five league championship wins. I should also mention dude could burp the entire alphabet… backwards. Doesn't sound too impressive to you, but in Wisconsin that is a godlike ability.The film, to be written by Eric Roth (Forrest Gump), will focus on the 8 years that Lombardi spent with the Packers, molding them into NFL champs. Very little time will be spent on his epic belching. (THR)
X-Men Origins: Wolverine's Sabretooth wants you guys to know that he'd really like to be in the sequel. At a press conference for Repo Men, Liev Schreiber told reporters that Hugh Jackman has told him about the script but he's not sure if he'll return (though he really wants you guys to know that he totally would if asked)."I just had dinner with [Hugh Jackman] last night and Hugh read the first draft of the script and I was really excited about it. It's still not clear whether or not Victor will be present in the Japan storyline. In the Japan storyline as I remember it from the Wolverine comics, Victor wasn't there. So I don't know, of course I've got my fingers crossed because I love the character so much, to have the chance to do it again would be a lot of fun, but I'm not sure."So, was Hugh Jackman trying to rub it in his face or what?HUGH: Oh, mate. The new Wolverine script is excellent. Too bad you won't be a part of it. Terrific stuff.LIEV: Oh man. That sucks. I guess I'll just have to stay home and bang Naomi Watts for four months.HUGH: Yeah, that's cool too. I s'pose. If you're into that sorta thing.(via io9)
Some might look at this new poster for The Losers and think, "Oh clever, they're assassins who just shot me and now they're standing over my body as my last breath of air escapes." I look at this poster and think, "Suck it." Zoe Saldana especially seems like she could use some servicing. Jeffrey Dean Morgan just looks gassy.The Losers centers around the members of an elite Special Forces unit sent to the Bolivian jungle on a search and destroy mission. They're gonna kick ass, take a few names, and steal the innocence of a few unlucky henchmen. Open wide, world. The Losers hits theaters April 23, 2010. (FilmSchoolRejects)
Lindsay Sloane was Maid of Honor at the wedding of Sarah Michelle Gellar and Freddie Prinze Jr. QUITE the accomplishment I might say. She also made an appearance on Entourage, but nothing tops standing next to Gellar as she made the mistake of marrying Fred from The Scooby Doo Movie.A word from Lindsay: "I am so incredibly hot."Whoa, pump the brakes. Clearly you're more attractive than me, but Alice Eve makes everyone else look like Alexis Dziena. More definitely worthwhile pics of Lindsay after the jump.
The long-awaited Tron Legacy trailer is finally here thanks to some selfless individuals (read: nuuurrdddssss!) who solved the viral puzzle campaign to unlock the trailer. It looks pretty great. I'm sure that inhaler sales just skyrocketed. The trailer opens with Bruce Boxleitner sending Jeff Bridges's cool-haired son to track down his cyber-dad in the world of Tron. What we get is a nice look at the Techtropolis that the world of Tron has become — complete with cyber-babes, cyber-ninjas, Zoolander's nemesis Mugatu, and Jeff Bridges with his cyber-Rat Pack. Missing is Tron Guy. Though it's quite possible he's hiding behind this cyber-couch, waiting for the perfect moment to steal a sniff of Olivia Wilde's cyber-hair. Check out the trailer after the jump. It's worth it for the Daft Punk track alone.
Columbia Pictures is getting serious about a second sequel to Men in Black by tossing some names of weirdos into the ring. It's believed that Josh Brolin is on board for the third film and now there are reports that they want either Brüno's Sacha Baron Cohen or Conchord Jemaine Clement for a character named "Yaz."It's not known at this time if the character will be an alien or an agent (though wouldn't he be named after a letter were he an agent?). Both actors excel at weird, broad comedic performances and would be a perfect fit in the MiB universe. Though I'm not sure about Cohen. They already did the Ballchinian thing in part two. (Bloody Disgusting)
This commercial was on air around the time A Nightmare On Elm Street 4 came out. I'm pretty sure if you called Freddy verbally sexed you up for a steep fee, but my kindergarten friends could have been lying to me.These links don't have a surcharge.Sandra Bullock's German Acceptance Speech (Moviefone)Gorillas May Eat Monkeys (Asylum)Jack From Will & Grace is Gay. DUH. (PopEater)25 Animals Humping the Wrong Animal (HolyTaco) Sandra Bullock Accepts Razzie, Gives Away DVDs (FilmDrunk)Five Reasons Why Your Wife Hates Juliette Lewis (Unreality)Marc Savard Stretchered Off The Ice After Fight (TotalProSports)Hot Girls From Hot Places (Maxim)Ultra Monster Dancedown (Smosh)Miley Cyrus Gives AIDs a Chance (CelebJihad)18 Amazing Fight Fist-Poses (CagePotato)The Most Divisive Movie in Pajiba History (Pajiba)This Is Your Brain On Avatar (Atom)The 7 People You Meet at The Gym (MadeMan)Ingrid Vandebosch Mega Gallery (AllLeftTurns)
Hold on to your fig leaves, folks, this is gonna get sinful. Walden Media and Paramount have seen the light, and the light told them the Book of Genesis would make a totally rad 3D movie with the potential of bringing in sh*t buckets full of money. The film shall be titled In The Beginning, and Cary Granat will work with Real Fx to make a 3D snake so frightening you'll be digging up your real King James Bibles.Naturally, they got John Fusco, the guy who wrote the new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie, to offer his take on creation. How does one go from telling a tale of abominations such as teenage mutant ninja turtles to interpreting The Bible? It's my hope he puts a fresh spin on that tired Old Testament story. Temptation comes in the form of pizza, not apples/vajayjay. Am I right, Michelangelo?They're still just in the planning stages, so hopefully this project won't come to FRUITition (rim shot, fart noise). A mighty hand will come down from the heavens and bitch slap everyone involved. This hand, of course, belonging to Mel Gibson. If you're going to exploit The Bible let's be serious and get the best. (Deadline)
John Hughes's career is in upswing after many quiet years. Sadly he's pretty dead but, much like Tupac before him, he still has unproduced work floating around out there. And the streets is hot for one of these screenplays. Grisbys Go Broke, a story about a wealthy Chicago family who lose everything and move to the country, is raising a few eyebrows in Hollywood.Paramount is rumored to be interested in producing though no official offer has been made. It would only make sense for them to acquire the project though. Last night's Hughes tribute has him fresh in everybody's minds and besides, they're making movies about f*cking bubblegum these days. At this rate we'll be lucky not to see a movie called, Hey, 'Member That Time I Farted? and its sequel, Hey, 'Member That Time I Farted Underwater?, within the next decade. (THR)
Alice Eve is my new favorite thing on the planet. That's right, I like her even more than dogs dressed up as bananas. Alice is getting her first starring role as the 10 in She's Out Of My League, but you may also know her from a little film called Crossing Over. I'm not saying you've seen the film, I'm just saying you've Googled the words "Alice Eve Crossing Over." A word from Alice: "There is an acting gene that has been passed down to me by my parents. It's nature, not nurture" There are a couple of other traits that must have been passed down as well. A couple of fine, fine traits. Check out more of Alice's good genes after the jump.
This 2:30 new trailer for Iron Man 2 packs more punch than the ten hour Academy Award broadcast I just live blogged until my fingers and eyes bled. Luckily for you, I stopped the hemorrhaaging long enough to write this post. I was impressed with the first trailer for Iron Man 2, but the new one definitely sticks it in its predecessor and breaks it off. The reason for this: Scarlett Johansson as Black Widow. Can I just say, DAMN. Halfway through, she body-spins around some henchman before slamming his head in to the ground. Best way to die ever. The trailer also features more Stark, Fury, Whiplash, War Machine, and an easily foldable Iron Man suit, but no amount of CGI can trump Scarlett's magnificent naturals (James Cameron hangs his head, defeated). Check out the new trailer after the jump. Iron Man 2 hits theaters May 7, 2010.
Someone finally caught on to the fact that Tim Burton loves the adjective "creepy" like a fat kid loves cake. Even the room he holds his development meetings in is creepy. Burton's creative team seems to be over the whole "spiral staircase" motif, but the director marches on. Play that wild-eyed man off, Danny Elfman!
Say hello to my little friend, indeed…Here are your weekend links.Win a Tim Burton Signed Alice in Wonderland Prop (Moviefone)If the Oscars Were Honest (Asylum)What if Burton Never Met Depp? (FlickSided)Brett Favre Talks Retirement, Hannah Montana (PopEater)FilmDrunk's Guide to the Oscars (FilmDrunk)Star Wars in the Real World Gallery (Unreality)Who Knew Golfing Could Be So Painful (TotalProSports)Sex: Have Your Cake and Eat It Too (Maxim)10 Fatass Oscar Winners (CelebJihad)WEC 47 Weigh-Ins Go Smoothly, Now Comes Violence (CagePotato)10 Best Quotes of 2009 (Pajiba)Giant Robots Fighting Monsters! (Atom)Female Pickup Artists (MadeMan)2011 Shelby Mustang Pace Car (AllLeftTurns)
Here lies Warts.Paramount is eager to dig up the remains of the Pet Sematary franchise. Producer Lorenzo di Bonaventura has picked up the cautionary tale about the dangers of Indian burial grounds with 1408's Matthew Greenberg taking over scripting duties from Mike Werb and Michael Colleary.The film, based on Stephen King's novel, tells the story of a family from the city who moves to ideallic Maine. They soon discover a cursed pet cemetary that resurrects household pets as demons. Things take a hellish turn when they bury their murdered toddler on the plot. Is it even legal to bury your dead on your own? Aren't there laws?? Please forward all research to me for reasons that are none of your concern. (THR)
Ellen Barkin is one foxy older woman. The squinty-eyed blond is best known for rollin' around in the sheets with Pacino in Sea of Love, but some of you younger folks might recognize her from Ocean's Thirteen. Did someone just yell MILF? Pipe down. A word from Ellen: "What the hell was I thinking? Marry a rich guy? Was I crazy?"Completely insane. Put your arms in to this straight jacket and come with me. More MILF after the jump.