Good news, John Carter Of Mars fans (both of you).
Disney has set a release date for the film. Now the two of you can plan ahead and drive together. What, you don't even live in the same state? Well, considering the film won't be coming out until June 8th, 2012, you've got plenty of time to coordinate.
For those of you who aren't in "the know," the film is based on the sci-fi books of Edgar Rice Burroughs, and will be shown in 3D. Considering the likelihood of scantly-clad Martian women, this is one 3D production I think we can all agree on.
See dad, I'm not gay. Why would I want to look at boobs in 3D if I was gay? ANSWER ME! (Hollywood Reporter)
He's still alive, you sick bastard!
Experiment with these links.
Countdown To 'The Expendables': 'Cobra' (1986) (MovieHopping)
'Mad Men' Moment: Don Says Goodbye (TVSquad)
Times Square's Pop-Tarts World Is What's For Breakfast (Asylum)
Alien 5; De-Resurrection The Unseen Script (HolyTaco)
Sly Stallone Auditioned For Han Solo In 'Star Wars' (FilmDrunk)
FunnyMan: The Legend Of Adam McKay (Maxim)
Barstool NYC Local Smokeshow Of The Day- Ariana (BarStoolSports)
9 Reasons Tom Hanks Should Go To Hell (EgoTV)
Women Don't Hate You, Sam Rockwell (Pajiba)
80s Sitcoms That Are Still On TV All The Time (Unreality)
Kung-Fu Kicks Becoming An Epidemic In Soccer (TotalProSports)
Cop Busts 7-Year-Old's Lemonade Stand (Smosh)
The Top 10 Pot-Smoking Follies (BroBible)
Ashley Greene Bikini Pictures (CelebJihad)
Justin Bieber Struck By Errant Water Bottle In Concert (PopEater)
Humorous Hotties (MadeMen)
Looks like someone is finally willing to make a movie about Abraham Lincoln. The unspell-checkable Timur Bekmambetov has signed on to direct Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter. Here he explains his plans with a dry, Tontoesque delivery:
"I'm prepping to direct myself. It is not a comedy at all – it is a very entertaining, epic history lesson for millions and millions of teenagers. If you remember 'Nightwatch,' it is maybe in the vein of that kind of movie. We are keeping the traditional look of Lincoln – the big hat and the beard. He has to be historically correct, but with a few special weapons. There is only one book, but there will be many opportunities to develop and explore this world if we get to do sequels. I hope we will start this winter. We are shooting in America."
I am excite to see this movie. No word yet casting of role of Abraham Lincoln. Actor will be tall. (Empire)
Warner Bros is moving ahead with plans for a second Green Lantern film by hiring Michael Goldenberg to handle scripting duties (as indicated by the hastily-Photoshopped typewriter above). Goldenberg has previously written Harry Potter and the Order of the Pheonix and Contact, as well as a rewrite on the first Green Lantern film. This move shows a lot of faith from the studio that the franchise will be a big hit. So prepare yourselves for the onslaught of marketing materials, because everywhere you look next summer you'll see little kids wearing novelty rings, eating green Whoppers, and suffering from skull gigantism caused by exposure to space radiation. (Variety)
Who wouldn't want to be Bruce Willis for a day? The man both on screen and off kicks ass, takes names, beds beautiful women, and even plays the harmonica. Ok, I'm willing to look past his Bruno days because he has us given such cool mofos over the years, from John McClane, Corbin Dallas, Joe Hallenback, and yes, even Hudson Hawk is a true favorite of mine.
Highly Debatable Best Role: John McClane in Die Hard
Appointed by President George W. Bush as national spokesman for Children in Foster Care.
MORE AFTER THE JUMP…
Giselle Itie may be unknown in the states unless you flip through Telemondo channels late one night, but she is quite the popular novella star in Mexico and Brazil. Now she's spicing things up in the testosterone-packed The Expendables this week. Thank you Sly for adding some boobs to go with all the guns.
A word from Giselle: "For me it's not the looks in the man; it's his brains."
More pics of Giselle after the jump…
Some people are sick of Michael Cera's schtick. Then again, some people are sick of Will Ferrell's schtick and The Other Guys still banked 35 million bones this weekend. Obviously quirky character traits grow weary with time (just ask my girlfriend), but I'm not yet bothered by Cera's repeat bumbling everyman performances. If you're on the fence about seeing Scott Pilgrim vs. the World because you don't think you can stand Cera anymore, you should know he gets the sh*t beaten out of him in it. And now there's a fan-made ad that emphasizes that point.
Watch Michael Cera get punched in the face after the jump…
Gay-mannequin-faced actor Cillian Murphy (pictured above commiting a hate crime) is close to taking a role in Andrew Niccol's upcoming dumbly-titled science fiction drama I'm.mortal. Murphy will join the pretty young cast of Amanda Seyfried and possibly Justin Timberlake, as a future cop known as a Timekeeper. He's said to be "precise as the time he keeps." Essentially, he hunts down those whose time has expired to ensure that everyone stays young and beautiful forever. Just imagine a world governed by the E! Network. (THR)
Maybe you've noticed it before, maybe you haven't, but the Quality Cafe in downtown Los Angeles is one of the most popular eateries in movies. I brought this fact to the attention of our talented editor Matthew Freund and he put together an awesome mash-up of the most memorable scenes. Unfortunately the diner is only used for film shoots, but Morgan Freeman appears to be a regular. I hear he likes his eggs over easy.
Check out the Quality Cafe Mash-Up below.
Scott Bakula recently told a room full of nerds that a big screen version of "Quantum Leap" is in the works. Series creator Donald P. Bellisario is currently working on the script, which sadly will not star original stars Bakula and Dean Stockwell due to their age. Though, they are expected to appear in some kind of role.
For those too young to remember and too busy to watch Syfy on weekdays between noon and six, "Quantum Leap" tells the story of a brilliant scientist whose consciousness "leaps" into different bodies throughout history, and must help them right a wrong before travelling on to the next, and hoping that his next leap will be the leap home. I'm pretty excited to see this. It may be our only chance of seeing Hugh Jackman singing back-up for Elvis while wearing a sequin gown. Well, in a non-Rob Marshall directed film, I mean. (Blastr)
Fans of jerky, POV monster movies are in for some bad news. The Cloverfield sequel isn't coming out anytime soon, according to director Matt Reeves. But despite the lack of progress, Reeves assures fans that the film is on both his and J.J. Abrams' to do list.
"It really isn't the moment for [the sequel] to go any further than it has, but it continues to be a priority for both of us," Reeves told the channel. "J.J. is very immersed in putting together 'Super 8.' He's in pre-production and really, really passionately getting that together. And I'm passionately finishing 'Let Me In.'"
You know what I'm passionately finishing? Putting up with your B.S., Matt Reeves! Make a Cloverfield sequel now, or so help me god, I will tear you apart on my personal blog like that monster tore apart the Statue of Liberty. The choice is yours. (Empire Online)
What has six arms, six legs, and a whole lot of chlamydia? The Human Sex-ipede. Yes, they're making a porn parody of the European shock-horror film, The Human Centipede.
For those of you unfamiliar with the film, The Human Centipede is about an insane German doctor who sews people together, anus to mouth. With an ATM fan base already built in, the porn parody was the next logical step, according to famed porn parody director Lee Roy Myers.
"I thought, ‘you know what, this is the perfect concept to base a parody around,'" Myers said. "Anything putting human faces that close to genitals deserves the porn treatment."
There is nothing I could possibly add to that statement. (Movie Line)
He's truly entered the Dark Side.
Randy Couture is an icon of the UFC fighting world, so he fits right into the over pumped world of The Expendables. While he has the least amount of feature film presence, what he lacks in experience, he makes up for with head busting moves on the all-star cast.
Highly Debatable Best Role: Dylan Finn in Redbelt
Weird Fact: Broke his left arm while blocking a high kick from fellow UFC Gabriel Gonzaga
MORE AFTER THE JUMP…
Dolph Lundgren has always been known as Rocky Balboa's greatest foe in Rocky IV aka Rocky Fights The Communists. Yet this Swedish-born old school action star has shown to be quite the opposite as he was once a chemical engineer with a Fulbright scholarship to MIT. Dolph has both brains and muscle, which means don't eff with this guy or he'll bust out a can of whoop ass and the periodic table chart on your ass.
Highly Debatable Best Role: Captain Ivan Drago in Rocky IV
Weird Fact: Said to have an I.Q. of 160, but according to himself this is untrue.
MORE AFTER THE JUMP…
Jack Black is reteaming with School of Rock director Richard Linklater for Bernie. Shirley MacLaine will also star and mother everyone on set. THR has the deets:
"Bernie" is set in the small town of Carthage, Texas and follows a Renaissance man-community leader-mortician Bernie (Black) who strikes up an unlikely friendship with a wealthy but very particular widow (MacLaine). When he kills her, he goes to great lengths to maintain the illusion that she is still alive.
Is no one seeing the similarities to Weekend at Bernie's here? You know, the movie where two business executives go visit their boss at his beach house for a weekend, he ends up dying, and they make it look like he's still alive? This new movie is even called BERNIE. At least change the title! And don't think Andrew McCarthy won't call about a cameo. Ever since the failed "Lipstick Jungle" on NBC, he's been waiting patiently on his couch for an opportunity like this.
The Beverly Wilshire doesn't have the clientele it used to.
Here are your weekend links.
Hide Your Hangover At Work (ModernMan)
Madden NFL 11 + 360 Slim Giveaway (FileFront)
5 Action Stars Who Aren't As Funny As Mark Wahlberg (Moviefone)
Human Chess Match Staged In Brooklyn (Asylum)
Oh My Hermione! Sexy Emma Watson Pictures (HolyTaco)
I Wish This Kid Would Get Addicted To Heroin Already (FilmDrunk)
Hottest Brunettes Out There (Maxim)
Another Nerd Tattles On Hot Teacher For Banging Other Nerds (BarStoolSports)
9 Celebrities Living With STD's (EgoTV)
Samuel L. Jackson Career Assessment (Pajiba)
A Puck To The Groin Over Reaction Video (TotalProSports)
World's Biggest Foods (Smosh)
20 Most Intimidating Fictional Sharks Of All Time (BroBible)
Kim Kardashian Turns Young Girls Into Whores (CelebJihad)
Very Stylish And Cool 'Mad Men' Photographs (PopEater)
Hipster Lightcycle Tires (MadeMen)
Bustin' makes him feel goooooood.
There's a rumor going around Tinz Town that Christoph Waltz may encourage Mary Jane Watson to wait for the cream. The Inglourious Basterds bad man is said to be in Sony's sights to play the villian in the upcoming Spider-Man 3D reboot. Note that they are only interested. Waltz hasn't indicated that he's interested. However, he did agree to star in Paul W. S. Anderson's Three Musketeers, so it's not like he's picky.
Whether Waltz is sought for the role of the Lizard or Green Goblin is unclear as of right now. Perhaps he's a method actor and got lost in his Basterds' Jew Hunter role. Y'know, you see the name "Spiderman" on paper and you just kinda assume. (The Playlist)
We keep getting casting news on The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo except the news we care about. No, they still haven't found the actress who will play the computer hacker Lisbeth Salander, but Robin Wright has joined the film as Daniel Craig's casual f*ck buddy. According to Deadline, Wright "is in talks to play Erika Berger, the publisher of crusading finance magazine Millennium, and the occasional lover of journalist Mikael Blomkvist."
With Fincher directing, I hope Wright and Craig remember to stay well-hydrated. He'll have them simulating sex take after take after take to Nine Inch Nails until they can't possibly simulate sex any longer. Craig will get frustrated, Wright will get sore, and Fincher will confer with Brad Pitt, who I assume lives in his shirt pocket.
Terry Crews is your go-to big funny guy bad ass. He can make you laugh as well as rip out your throat — just look at those Old Spice Ads. As we've seen since White Chicks, he can be the funniest and most compelling character on screen. And on top of all that, he was a running back for the San Diego Chargers in the 90s.
Highly Debatable Best Role: President Camacho in Idiocracy
Weird Fact: Crews was chosen to be a series regular known as the urban warrior, T-Money on "Battle Dome."
MORE AFTER THE JUMP…
The age-old question of what if Arnold Schwarzenegger did the voice of Darth Vader in Star Wars instead of James Earl Jones has finally been answered. I can't wait until George Lucas re-releases all six films with this new, more appropriate dubbing.
Check out the video after the jump…
Jesse Jane has lived the american dream, from banging Tommy Lee in a VIP night club to starring in the most expensive porn movies made to date. This week she'll be showing her duck-lipped face in Middle Men, playing herself, of course.
A word from Jesse: [on shooting in HD] "Everything is exaggerated. A blemish can look huge, and it's impossible to disguise bumps and bruises with makeup, because the makeup stands out, as well. You have to be very careful."
And imagine the breast implant scars. They must look like untreated battle wounds.
More pics of Jesse doing unintentional duck faces after the jump…
Four young actresses are in the running to play opposite Casey Affleck in The F Word. Rebecca Hall, Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Rose Byrne, Deborah Ann Woll are expected to camera test for the female lead in the quirky, romantic comedy that appeared on the 2008 Black List. It tells the story of a couple who would like to date, but decide to be friends instead while wrestling with their attraction to one another over a long period of time.
Personally, I think all of these actresses are perfect choices for the project and would like to see their careers take off. Sadly, there can be only one. It all depends on who tests best on-camera and freaks out the least when a naked Affleck crawls into her bed in the middle of the night. I think Rebecca Hall has a leg-up on this one. (Production Weekly via The Playlist)
Hey guys, it turns out that the next Saw may not be the last of the Saws. That's insane, right? Well, then Betsy Russell is insane, I guess. Here's what the actress told the NY Post:
"Before we thought it was ending [with 'Saw 7'], the writers came up with an unbelievable idea [for 'Saw 8']," Betsy revealed to PopWrap. "It's an amazing story that I would love to see. We want to end near the top, with our integrity intact and not letting the characters die a slow death, so to speak. But I believe in my heart that someday, somehow, ['Saw 8'] will happen."
When was the last time that a long-running horror franchise intended to wrap up the story, but the boost of 3D ticket sales caused it to continue on? In the last month, I mean. See? You can't think of any.
If you're a fan of drug use or anti-Catholic blasphemy (or both), you're in for a treat. Actor Thomas Lennon, best known as Lieutenant Jim Dangle in "Reno 911," is hard at work on the set of A Very Harold & Kumar Christmas 3D, which is currently being filmed in Detroit (aka the Hollywood on the Rust Belt). According to Lennon, the film has no shortage of drug use and, or showering nuns.
I think when people Harold and Kumar in 3D it’s going to be a full visceral experience not unlike seeing Avatar with a bunch of dudes smoking pot and some naked nuns taking a shower, which is what I believe they’re filming today. In fact I know for a fact that’s what they’re filming today because I happen to not be on-set today and it’s kind of a bummer.
Lennon was also quick to point out that the third installment of Harold and Kumar was actually being filmed in 3D, not converted afterward, a fact that I'm sure will not be lost on the thousands of stoned jackasses who will be watching the movie while waiting for their pizza to hydrate in the year 2017. (Collider)
Oh, I get it. Like "Great things come in pairs" but with a bear pedofilia spin. MARKETING FAIL. (FilmDrunk)
These links will make things right.
'Real Genius' Vs. 'Weird Science': 25th Anniversary Geek-Off (Moviefone)
Dutch Student Wants To Turn Times Square Into Art Exhibit (Asylum)
Hot Jenn Sterger Pictures (HolyTaco)
Frotcast Episode 8: The Two Buseys (FilmDrunk)
Kick Ass Lyndsy Fonseca Photos (Maxim)
The Birdman Of Greenwich Village (BarStoolSports)
Dead Men Don't Pay For Parking Tickets (EgoTV)
Worst TV Theme Songs Of All Time (Pajiba)
Scooter Rail Slide Turns Into Face Plant (TotalProSports)
Crazy Japanese Kit Kat Flavors (Smosh)
Alison Brie Says The Hottest Things (BroBible)
Laurence Fishburne Should Have Bought His Daughter That Pony (CelebJihad)
Knockout Of The Week: Justice Is Served For Glove (CagePotato)
Kaye West Promises New Music Video 'Power' Is Actually A Painting (PopEater)
Porsche With A Boeing Turbine Engine (MadeMen)
He's Sweden's Robert Pattinson.
Stellan Skarsgard is in talks to do take after take after take alongside Daniel Craig in David Fincher's adaptation of The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. He would play Martin Vanger, a suspect in the 40-year-old disappearance of a teenage girl. Hey Variety, tell us what Skarsgard had to say:
"I've met (helmer David) Fincher; I want to work with him; he wants to work me. I've had a concrete offer and now we are in negotiations. The contract is for the period September to March, but I don't know yet when I am supposed to start my part of the film."
This casting makes perfect sense since Skarsgard is Swedish and the film will take place in Sweden. But what of Stellan's son Alexander, who is ripe for the picking due to his recent "True Blood" success. Not to mention Max von Sydow. The man is a God over there.
Give him a call already, Fincher. He's practically begging you.
"Shhhh, I have a secret to tell you: Boooooobs."
We only heard about the gestating Vince Vaughn/David O. Russell project Old St. Louis the other day, and now it appears Scarlett Johansson wants to play in the sandbox. The film is about a divorced traveling toy salesman who reconnects with his teen daughter (Chloe Moretz, possibly) after years on the road. Vulture says Scarlett would play "Vaughn's paramour, a secretary who accompanies them on their cross-country sales jaunt." She transcribes memos and services her boss sexually. The latter part is assumed and based solely on my own experience with paramours. Or my friend's…
Vulture also corrects earlier reports that the script is an O. Russell original. It's been the village bicycle for around a decade now, rubbing up against both Steve Pink (High Fidelity) and Allen Loeb's (Wall Street 2) pen. David O. Russell recently completed a extensive rewrite though so maybe this script has finally found her special sugar daddy. We'll see if she ever makes it to production and performs like a good girl.
Please don't smoke that thing while Tony's enjoying his cigar, Shia.
Tony Scott is rumored to be close to directing the adaptation of John Grisham's The Associate. From his successful "lawyers running away from things" series, The Associate is set to star Shia LaBeouf with The Departed's William Monahan on scripting duties.
This isn't confirmed yet and Scott has enough on his plate with Potsdamer Platz, Hell's Angels, and that Chippendales movie, so take the news with a grain of salt. I don't see why they really need a director for this project. John Grisham movies kind of just direct themselves. Do studios really need to pay millions upon millions of dollars to have someone say, "Okay Shia. What you're giving me right now is a light jog. I need a jaunt. Get them legs up. That's good. Okay. Now go get double-crossed by Gene Hackman." (LA Times)