World War IV is barely underway, but Warner Bros. just can’t help itself from jumping the gun. The studio is already planning the launch of World War X, a film "centered on a man recruited by a team of government agents to stop a terrorist from the future who is using time travel to reshape history." As my colleague Wookie Johnson pointed out, this film smells an awful lot like Time Cop, which actually smells a lot like a Belgian hooker's dirty panties, which smells a lot like overused cologne. I think there’s a Van Damme joke in there somewhere. (Coming Soon)
For those of you who have been praying for another Ghostbusters sequel, you obviously need to pray more clearly. Unfortunately, it seems god misunderstood your pleas, and has mistakenly provided you with another Ghost Rider sequel. This is assuming that Nicolas Cage is telling the truth, and not simply tripping balls on shrooms he took with his cat. On tonight’s episode of "The Late, Late Show with Craig Ferguson", Cage revealed he had just signed the deal to return to star in Ghost Rider 2. The actor also confirmed that Neveldine/Taylor (Crank) will direct. I’ve been told to be more positive when I write, so here goes nothing. Considering the original Ghost Rider has a 25% favorable rating at Rotten Tomatoes, the sequel has nowhere to go but up. That wasn’t so hard! (Collider)
I hope you like movies about assholes, because Aaron Sorkin is working on one. The famed writer will make his directorial début with The Politician, a film about John Edwards, arguably one of the greatest assholes in American history. The film will chronicle Edwards' meteoric rise as a politician, and his hilarious fall from grace. I can't wait to see the part where Edwards cheats on his cancer ridden wife and accidentally knocks up his idiot, new-age mistress. That part always makes me chuckle. (Empire)
Well someone's certainly got a potty mouth.
Hot Girls Reenact Predator – Watch more Funny VideosIf I have one complaint about the original Predator, it's that it's a bit of a sausage fest. Problem solved. (ToplessRobot)These links weren't made on a shoestring budget.Dos And Don'ts of Facebook Dating (ModernMan) Sons, League, Philly, and More:FX New Fall Season (TVSquad) Horned Man Caught After Trying To Kill Landlord With Minivan (Asylum) 25 Chick Fight Videos (HolyTaco) Another Day, Another Mel Gibson Phone Call (FilmDrunk) Best Pissed-Off Police Chiefs (Maxim) 'Temperature Rising' Video Made My Dick Explode (BarStoolSports) One-Armed Man Charged With Unarmed Robbery (EgoTV) Netflix's Most Rented Movies Of All Time (Pajiba) Four Properties Of Movie Vampires (Unreality) Bike Rider Turned Roadkill (TotalProSports) Lilo Goes Topless Before Going To Jail (Smosh) 10 Rules About Pregnant Fight Club (BroBible) The Jonas Brothers Aren't That Innocent Looking After All (CelebJihad) The 7 Worst Predictions In CagePotato History (CagePotato) Alyssa Milano Throws Down A Challenge To The Old Spice Guy (PopEater) Take Your First Flight Lesson (MadeMan)
In case you're too poor to buy or too chicken to steal this week's issue of Entertainment Weekly featuring Green Lantern photos, I've got five more of them here for you. I gave you the cover this morning, but you just don't let up. Question: If Peter Sarsgaard had a five-head before donning the Hector Hammond prosthetic, then what do you call his new look? You call it a missed opportunity to show more pics of Blake Lively. I'm totally digging her as a brunette. Unhand her, Ryan Reynolds! Blake's mole belongs to me now!Check out the scanned images (because SOMEONE doesn't have an issue breaking the law) after the jump…
**SPOILER ALERT** The crackpot team of Steven Spielberg and Michael Bay have done it again. They've come up with a beginning for their movie. All good filmmakers know a film needs a beginning, and Transformers 3 will be no exception. I don't want to ruin it for those who didn't lose interest in the franchise after Bay introduced racist robots, so I'll just say upfront that it involves the moon, which we already knew. It does not, however, involve E.T., which my hilariously misleading above picture suggests. That's photoshopped, by the way.If you want to ruin the opening scene of Transformers 3 for yourself, check out CHUD's scoop after the jump…
What the hell is she holding?Early reports that Amber Heard would play Mystique in Matthew Vaughn's X-Men: First Class were sexy… but wrong. That role is actually going to Winter's Bone star Jennifer Lawrence. The rising star will be coated in blue bodypaint to play the shapeshifter after she wraps the horror film The House at the End of the Street.With this announcement, also comes the news that Kevin Bacon will in fact play the film's villian. Which means, if you see him beating up any schoolchildren in England in the next few months, just keep walking. Just making a movie. Nothing to see there. (THR)
Depp and Burton are the next Sad Keanus.The days of nobody knowing what the hell Tim Burton is directing next have come to an end. Dark Shadows starring Johnny Depp (and probably Helena Bonham Carter) will be inked in next to sketches of mawkish bats in the director's day planner. Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter author Seth Grahame-Smith is taking over scripting duties from long-time Burton collaborater John August, to adapt the spooky 1960's soap opera. Filming begins in February with Johnny Depp playing the vampire Barnabas Collins. We'll keep you updated on which goofy wig he'll end up in this time. (Deadline)
Depp and Burton are the next Sad Keanus.
Fabrice Fabrice Interviews Steve Carell from Steve CarellNick Kroll is one funny motherf*cker. You may best know him as Bobby Bottleservice from the Ed Hardy Boyz Funny or Die videos, or Ruxin on FX's "The League," but he's also an amazing stand-up comedian with several characters in his repertoire.Fabrice Fabrice is Nick's extremely flamboyant, homosexual alter ego who dabbles in craft services. Fabrice Fabrice caught up with Dinner for Schmucks star Steve Carell at one of his snack tables and asked him a few professional and rather personal questions. It results in rosy cheeks and the improper enjoyment of fresh fruit.
Odette Yusman starred as Schwarzenegger's young student, Rosa, in Kindergarten Cop, where I'm sure she gave him a lot of grief. A few modeling and odd jobs later, she landed the lead role, that wasn't the monster, in Cloverfield. You can now catch her kicking some serious ass in Operation: Endgame alongside Zach Galifianakis. A word from Odette: "I can now say I have mastered the scream. I should probably stick that on my resumé."Put the kibosh on that idea. The addition of my screaming skills to the ol' resy has done me no favors in the job market. More pics of Odette out of kindergarten after the jump.
EW has just turned doctors' waiting rooms into Geek Heaven by adorning their cover with the first picture of Ryan Reynolds suited up as Green Lantern (and apparently there's a New Buffy as well).As previously discussed in comic shops and secondhand Toyotas, the Lantern's suit is 100% computer-generated. Much like the girlfriend you met online but have never seen face-to-face because of her numerous modeling commitments. Do you guys like it? To me, it looks a little too Photoshop-y. To illustrate that point, I present Exhibit B.Not that far off, right?
You may cringe at the term ‘bromance’, but if someone asks if you like bromance movies, you will absolutely say yes. Quite unlike romantic comedies — which focus on the…
"You serious, bro?"A little backstory: Joaquin Phoenix went crazy, grew a beard, quit acting, started rapping, and Casey Affleck was there with a camera to capture it all. Online speculation has been that the entire breakdown is fake (and crazy). Now, we will have the opportunity to judge for ourselves this September.Deadline reports that Magnolia has bought the distribution rights to Casey Affleck's I'm Still Here: The Lost Year of Joaquin Phoenix. Or, as it should be called I Get Pooped On: That Time Somebody Pooped On Joaquin Phoenix. That's right. The film is said to include cocaine use, hookers, oral sex with a publicist, loads of full frontal male nudity, and somebody poops on Joaquin as he sleeps. We're not naming any names, but c'mon.
Riots flare in Greece as Ratner is considered for 'Hercules'.Director Brett Ratner is in talks to ruin the legend of Hercules, The LA Times is reporting. Millennium/Nu Image has been developing the project for three years, and apparently just decided to say "f*ck it, I don't care any more, it's gonna suck no matter what we do." Shortly thereafter, Ratner was brought in for negotiations. At any rate, I'm hopeful we'll get to hear the line "Don't ever touch a Greek man's radio" sometime soon. I know it's pretty lazy for a hack like me to make fun of Ratner, but in all fairness to Brett…actually, I don't really have anything more to add to that statement.
What if Cameron from Ferris Bueller's Day Off was insane, and Ferris was nothing more than a figment of his sick imagination? According to /Film, this question, known as the Ferris Bueller Fight Club Theory, has been plaguing the the Internet for over a year (I wouldn't know, since I just got online for the first time in March). But thanks to the fine people at Classy Hands, the question now has an answer. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Ferris Club, a re-edit of FBDO in the style of Fight Club. It's pretty spot on, except I didn't catch any shots of Principal Rooney, as played by Jeffery Jones. He's a sex offender, don't ya know. See Ferris Bueller channel Tyler Durden after the jump.
She played a slut in The 40-Year-Old Virgin. She played an amateur pornstar in Zach and Miri. Now, actress Elizabeth Banks is taking the next logical step: a live-action version of Tinkerbell, the magical pixie from Walt Disney's Peter Pan.Banks is developing and will star in Tink, a film that “plays with the mischievous nature" of the famous character. Hopefully, "mischievous nature" is code for topless breast play. Besides, a little female nudity will help postpone the inevitable gay-porn parody, Twink. (/Film)
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Yeah YOU, dude.Mark Ruffalo is in late-stage talks to smash things as The Hulk in The Avengers. Marvel told Edward Norton to eff off and has been on a search to find his replacement. The name Joaquin Phoenix was even floating around in Stupid Rumor Land.Mark Ruffalo is one actor who never came to mind when I spent last night brainstorming possible Hulk replacements. I don't remember Bruce Banner laughing nervously and growing spotty facial hair in the comics. Perhaps casting agents should turn their attention to a certain phone call Mel Gibson made not too long ago. If that wasn't a expemplary audition and lesson in transformation from human to beast, then I'll eat my hat. My cake hat. (Deadline)
Today we have our first official look at Sir Anthony Hopkins as Odin in Marvel's Thor. Oof. One minute you're turning in thoughtful, Oscar-worthy performances. The next, you're threatening to retire because the movie where you pretended to be a feral, chimp man didn't connect with audiences. Then all of a sudden, you're in some weird, muscley armor walking through a Roman sewer with a piece of foil double-sticked to your eye. Thus, is the life of the thespian.The LA Times debuted this photo along with the news that both Thor and Captain America will undergo a 3D post conversion process before hitting theaters. Marvel and the filmmakers are well aware of the challenges this decision creates, and that is why they will spend "an unprecedented amount of time" on the conversion. What do you expect them to do? They've already shot too much footage of hammers and shields being thrown at the camera to turn back now.
There is absolutely no question that Paramount wants Tom Cruise to return as Ethan Hunt in Mission: Impossible 4. THR has proof:"We absolutely are excited about having Tom Cruise star in this movie," is how Paramount vice chairman Rob Moore put it Tuesday. But the studio also is monitoring the overseas performance of Cruise's latest film, Knight and Day to see whether the star retains his longtime hold over foreign audiences. If that film should gross less than $200 million overseas, some industry observers think Paramount will consider recasting the Ethan Hunt role.Wait, what? They want him unless they don't want him? Get your sh*t together, Paramount. Tom Cruise needs to eat, and if you aren't going to feed him that carrot you're dangling than cut the man loose. Which brings me to the mechanical bull movie:Cruise attended a table read this week at the Saddle Ranch eatery in West Hollywood for a Sony project to be produced by Will Smith's production company, Overbrook Entertainment. The film in question, "Paper Wings," is set in urban cowboy world, and Saddle Ranch had the right ambience for the read because it features a mechanical bull.Let's not forget about the kitschy longhorn skulls on the walls and the melty cookie pie dessert. It's just like you're wrangling steer in the Montana mountains! Basically, everything depends on if foreign people like Tom Cruise or not. Mission: Impossible is a brand, and a sequel will likely succeed with or without him. In fact, if foreigners hate Cruise, it might be worth injecting the project with some fresh blood. The actor could probably help Paramount out with that. He must have a locker of it next to the room he keeps Katie chained up in.
There's a new Dinner For Schmucks trailer that shows a few funny clips we haven't seen yet. Mostly it highlights Rudd and Carell's chemistry, but also introduces Lucy Punch, who plays Paul Rudd's spear-wielding stalker. The more I see of this movie, the more I like. Not only do they shine a light on beastiality and puppet sex, but now the filmmaker's have trained their sights on diluted, pyschotic women. Makes me want to find a dangerous stalker of my very own. If anyone's looking for me, I'll be at that abandoned semi-trailer they turned into a strip club.HAVE A LOOK AT RUDD'S STRANGE AFTER THE JUMP…
Last time we saw Improv Everywhere, they were chasing down ghosts in the New York Public Library. Now the comedy troupe known for its wacky movie reenactments brings the Princess Leia/Darth Vader scene from Star Wars down into the dingy underground of Manhattan. I can't wait until the day the locals turn against these theater jokesters. Improv's going to be all over the sidewalk, brickwalls, and tip of a bum's chicken bone knife. EVERYWHERE. (Ed note: Please don't murder these guys. Okay, thanks.)
Check out the video below.
Outside of her role in the Adam Sandler comedy Happy Gilmore, Actress Julie Bowen has focused mainly on television projects. But the success of her current show, "Modern Family," is breathing new life into her film career.The Emmy nominated actress has signed on to play Kevin Spacey's wife in the upcoming comedy ensemble, Horrible Bosses. Bowen is also slated to appear in Jumping the Broom, where she will play a stressed out wedding planner.While she should be known as the "hot mom" on "Modern Family," Bowen's co-star, Sofía Vergara, has relegated her to "normal mom" status. Despite the success of the show, it's a good thing she's branching out. The cast recently did an episode that took place in Hawaii. If the "Brady Bunch" and "Full House" are any indication, "Modern Family" is looking for a shark to jump. (Variety)
Hey, you! Get your damn hands off her!Joseph Kosinski, who is currently wrapping up Tron: Legacy, has signed on to direct Archangels, a film described as a cross between a "Bourne-style thriller" and a sci-fi alien adventure. The project is being produced by Scott Free, the production company owned by Ridley Scott and Tony Scott.The film will center around an "elite fighting force" that tracks down uninvited aliens who manage to sneak onto Earth. If I didn't know any better, I'd say that Pat Buchanan had started writing sci-fi scripts. It's about time! (/Film)
Eat your heart out, Inception! Devil, a new film written by M. Night Shyamalan, doesn't look half bad. In fact, after viewing the trailer below, I think I actually want to see it. But then again, that's why Shyamalan is considered a master. He has the uncanny ability to take a film with an interesting premise and bankable stars and turn it into a steaming pile of dog poo. "The first released under “The Night Chronicles” banner, Devil is directed by Quarantine helmers the Dowdle Bros from a story by M. Night Shyamalan and script by Brian Nelson. The story reported involves a group of people who are trapped in an elevator, and one of them is the devil." That reminds me of the time I left my brother tied up in the desert all alone because he was possessed by the devil. He kept insisting that he was fine and that I was being paranoid. But that's what the devil does! He makes you doubt yourself. At any rate, a memorial service for my brother will be held this Friday at 1 p.m. Email me for more details. (/Film)See the trailer for Devil after the jump.
Focus Features has released the trailer for It's Kind of a Funny Story. In perfect casting, Zach Galifiankis plays a mental patient who helps a clinically depressed teenager (Keir Gilchrist) get a fresh start after checking into a psychiatric ward. Basically it's the self-committal version of One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest. Emma Roberts, Lauren Graham, and Viola Davis also star. The film is directed by Ryan Fleck and Anna Boden, the team behind the utterly depressing (in a powerful way) Half Nelson. It's nice to see they're taking on lighter material, like people with mental disorders instead of heroin addictions. Galifianakis could portray both afflications equally well. It's Kind of a Funny Story checks into theaters September 24, 2010. Check out the trailer after the jump…
Lindsay Lohan may be a cracked-out, bankrupt, crazy, ankle-bracelet-wearing criminal that I have absolutely no more interest in fantasizing about…but this Machete poster is still pretty hot. (BuzzFeed)Make amends with these links.Is Daniel Tosh The New Face Of Comedy Central? (TVSquad)Best Mel Gibson Rant Remixes And Parodies (Asylum)Total BS Profile Of Christina Milian (HolyTaco)Al Pacino Sells Out And Does His First Commerical (FilmDrunk)From Geek To Gangster (Maxim)KMarko Can Kick It With Me Anyday (BarStoolSports)10 Greatest Graphic Novels (Besides 'Watchmen') (EgoTV)Talking Book: Remembering Harvey Pekar (Pajiba)In A Bleak Summer Film Season, Predators Is Actually Worth It (Unreality)Sara Carbonero Is Spain's Hottest Sports Reporter (TotalProSports)20 Odd Jesus Sightings (Smosh)Making August Hotter With Pictures Of Francesca Frigo (BroBible)Roman Polanski To Direct 'Twilight' Prequel (CelebJihad)MMA's Weird-Stomach-Tattoo Hall Of Fame (CagePotato)What Lindsay Can Learn From Lil Wayne In Prison (PopEater)Barefoot Bandit Pleads Gulity In Bahamas (MadeMan)
Universal released the first of what director Edgar Wright tweeted would be seven Scott Pilgrim vs The World featurettes. This one nicely eases you into the series by focusing on the world of Scott Pilgrim through insight by Wright, Michael Cera, and Mary Elizabeth Winstead. I personally don't want to watch anymore clips about the film because I'd like to still be surprised when I actually see the film. Regardless, the new footage got me even more jazzed, so I guess it was worth it. You win this time, studio marketing division. Scott Pilgrim vs. The World POWS! into theaters August 13. Check out the featurette after the jump…