I never saw the first "X-Files" porn parody, but after watching the trailer for the prequel I am damn excited to jump on this sexy conspiracy train to the truth/money shot. "The Sex Files 2: A Dark XXX Porn Parody" looks better than any episode of "The Mentalist" I've caught while flipping through stations. The trailer doesn't even show any sex, just the inbetween parts. The moody lighting, the mystery, the action, the goo — it's all there. I'm going out a limb by saying this, but once boobs are added this could be the best sci-fi conspiracy alien TV show porn parody ever.
Check out the trailer below.
The ecstasy at the 2006 MTV Movie Awards was off the hook.
Robert Rodriguez has found time in his busy schedule of crap-he'll-never-get-around-to-directing to make room for Deadpool. The LA Times reports that he and 20th Century Fox have begun negotiations. I like to imagine a sleep-deprived Rodriguez propped up Weekend At Bernie's style while they hash out the percentage points. No deal has been worked out as of right now, but we'll let you know when an assistant pushes their hand through Rodriguez's sleeve to sign the papers.
I guess this is exciting news. Rodriguez always has an interesting approach to filmmaking, and I'd much rather see him at the helm than someone like Jonathan Mostow. Besides, this is our best chance to see Cheech Marin play Deadpool.
Good news, Spider-Man fans! A release date has been set for the reboot.
Bad news, Spider-Man fans. It's not coming out until July 3, 2012. This means we'll have to wait almost two-full years to see Andrew Garfield step into the red and blue tights. Chances are, some of us might die before it comes out. A few of us might even lose our virginity in that time span. Both are scary thoughts, but it's not my intention to frighten. I just want everyone to be extra careful when going up and down the stairs to their parents basement so we can all stay healthy enough to bitch about the film on July 4th, 2012. (Empire Online)
Battle: Los Angeles, the story of a planet-wide alien invasion, began its marketing campaign at this year's Comic-Con. But for those who didn't have the time to wade through a sea of virgins and scumbag Hollywood types, the movie posters are now available online.
The film features Aaron Eckhart as a Marine waging a guerrilla-style resistance movement after invaders "turn the streets of Los Angeles into a war zone," just like Laker fans do after their team wins a championship. But hopefully the aliens won't wear all that tacky purple and gold clothing while they trash the place. (Empire Online)
See all the posters after the jump…
Do you like strippers? Do you like werewolves? Well, even if you only like strippers, you'll probably love Strippers vs. Werewolves.
Producer Jonathan Sothcott is working on bringing this epic showdown to the big screen. With a script from UK horror writer Pat Higgins, the film hopes to serve as a comedic homage to 80's horror movies, sort of a "Shaun of the Dead meets Bitchslap in the style of The Howling."
"As I was reading it I was thinking 'this is like a great reference to The Monster Squad,'" said Sothcott. "And when I asked Pat, it turned out it was!" (Dread Central)
The Alamo Drafthouse Rolling Roadshow (sponsored by Levi's) kicks off next week with public viewings of nine classic films around the country. In an interesting twist, the movies will be shown at the locations where they were filmed. The theme of the event is "‘We Are All Workers."
Rooted by one of the nation’s founding principles, We Are All Workers hits the road with nine seminal screenings proving that everybody’s work is equally important.
I'm an internet writer. My mere existence proves that we are not all "workers," and our work is not all "equally important." But considering the Roadshow's website describes The Godfather II, the story of a ruthless crime syndicate, as a "defining immigrant worker story," I probably shouldn't get too hung up on the logic behind the text.
But what the event lacks in well written copy, it more than makes up for with these awesome redesigned film posters by artist Olly Moss. Enjoy. (First Showing)
See the posters after the jump…
Bloody Disgusting has posted the Piranha 3D footage that got the film booted from Hall H at this year's past Comic-Con. Upon reviewing it, I can understand why the Comic-Con HMFICs wouldn't want to screen it for the family-friendly convention. A woman in a bikini gets bifurcated by a wire cable, half of her suit top falling off before half of her torso does. And that's just the beginning of the over-the-top bloodshed. Skip to the 3:15 mark to watch annoying tourists get their just desserts. …In the butt.
Check out red-band clip after the jump…
Screen Junkies and Break is hosting a screening of the new film Middle Men Tuesday at 4:30PM in Los Angeles, and we're inviting you! That's right. YOU! 25 people plus a guest can be the first to see the movie, which chronicles Jack Harris, one of the pioneers of internet commerce, as he wrestles with his morals and struggles not to drown in a sea of conmen, mobsters, drug addicts, and pornstars. Don't pretend like you aren't intrigued by all of those subjects.
After the screening, I will moderate a Q&A with producer Chris Mallick, whose story inspired the film.
To attend, all you have to do is be one of the first 25 people to follow Screen Junkies on Twitter and tweet your enthusiastic response. Check out the red-band trailer to whet your appetite.
I'll save you all a seat in the best section of the theater.
It was the greatest B-Boy orgy in recent memory.
Here are your weekend links.
What To See This Weekend? (Moviefone)
Barracuda Chomps Girl's Arm, Dad Sees Awesome Photo Op (Asylum)
25 Pictures Of Biker Chicks (HolyTaco)
'Pirates 4' May Delay Release Of 'Rum Diary' (FilmDrunk)
13 Best Buddy Movies (Maxim)
Kids Are Smoking Incense Now? (BarStoolSports)
Preposterous Car Paint Jobs (EgoTV)
Paul Rudd Career Assessment: So High So Far To Fall (Pajiba)
Best Snoop Dogg Picture Ever? (Unreality)
That's An Odd Looking Dive (TotalProSports)
How (Not) To Text Girls.com (Smosh)
Snooki Arrested In The Jersey Heights With Photos (BroBible)
Hayden Panettiere Naked Pictures (CelebJihad)
'Jones Vs. Matyushenko' Live Updates (CagePotato)
Hugh Hefner Is Definitely More Than Just A Playboy (PopEater)
Watch Struck By Lightning (MadeMen)
The Captains Cup Episode 1 – Watch more Funny Videos
Let me preface this post by saying that it is not at all entertainment related. Captain Morgan' recently held the Captain's Cup to coincide with the World Cup, and Break played a huge part in spreading the word and the cheer. It's Friday afternoon and Lord knows we all have a little Captain in us at the moment, so let's take this time to watch some highlights from first night of The Captain's Cup 2010. The Captain boosts team moral and makes sure everyone is drinking plentifully. No need to tell this man twice. **Makes drunken cat call at receptionist**
The Arrested Development: The Movie of biopics, Spielberg's Lincoln, has suffered a further set-back. After years of waiting around and releasing Krakens and playing Jedi Masters and A-Team leaders, Liam Neeson is reportedly out this bitch. The formerly-attached star revealed to the UK's GMTV that he's "past his sell-by date" for the project. It's unclear what he meant by that. Either he's tired of waiting on Spielberg to get around to filming, or he's aged too much to convincingly play the part. At any rate, Spielberg can expect a receipt in the mail from Neeson for one stovepipe hat. And he'd better not dilly-dally on paying. (Digital Spy)
Almost Spider-Man Josh Hutcherson must really like money. The young actor is teaming up with "almost" Captain America Dane Cook for some sh*tty sounding horror-comedy. Detention, written and directed by Torque autuer Joseph Kahn, "centers on teens who must survive their final year of high school. Standing in their way is a slasher-movie killer who has seemingly come to life."
Hmmm, Dane Cook starring in a movie about a copycat. Go figure. (Variety)
And the winners are…
"You brought this on yourselves. Anyone else who's for Team Jacob is going down too!"
"This time everyone better sing. Ready? Ok… It's fun to stay at the Y.M.C.A…"
"See this authentic Requiem for a Dream Prop? Still has the stains to prove it."
"That's enough, Marvel!" shouted Ed Norton's agent, Kali sticks raised.
The winners will receive Kick-Ass on their choice of either Blu Ray or DVD.
Thanks to everyone who entered. You guys rocked Twitter with your captions.
Kick-Ass is available on Blu Ray and DVD today.
Jemaine Clement was without a doubt my favorite part of Dinner for Schmucks. You should read our review, but basically the supporting characters really keep the movie afloat. In this clip, Jemaine's eccentric artist character, Kieran, informs Paul Rudd and Steve Carell of his process. Like with most creative minds, it involves sex and death. I go through the same ordeal with every post.
Check out the clip after the jump…
Jesse not happy.
A few weeks ago we showed you the full length trailer for David Fincher's The Social Network and you loved it as much as I did (don't defy, Daddy). Now FirstShowing has dug up what is most likely a one-minute commercial airing on some channel somewhere at some point in time. It replaces Radiohead's "Creep" with Kanye West's new single "Power," you know, for the kids. I watch a buttload of TV and haven't seen it yet, but I still have a slew of "Say Yes to the Dress" episodes sitting on my DVR. Sorry, I can't attend your thing tonight. My Friday is booked.
Check out the spot after the jump…
Director: Aaron Schneider
Cast: Robert Duvall, Bill Murray, Sissy Spacek
Synopsis: A movie spun out of equal parts folk tale, fable and real-life legend about the mysterious, 1930s Tennessee hermit who famously threw his own rollicking funeral party… while he was still alive.
Little-known Hollywood funfact: Andy Serkis is 3-feet tall.
The first set pic from Rise Of The Apes has made its way online showing James Franco and Freida Pinto walking along with Andy Serkis. Not entirely certain what is going on in this scene, but it seems that James Franco's character is trying to impress Pinto by taking his helmet-wearing brother to Chuck E. Cheese. Just kidding. Of course this is Serkis in a mo-cap suit for his performance as the chimp Caesar in the upcoming film. It really does look like a still from Rain Man or "How's Your News?" though. (JustJared)
See the full pic after the jump….
While Sylvester Stallone may have ruled out Rambo V, he certainly hasn't ruled out another film involving the iconic character. In an interview with Empire, Stallone left the door for a prequel wide open.
"I certainly think this is worth pondering," was his response. "It's intriguing to find the whys and wherefores of how peope have become what they are. The traumas, the loss and the tragedy of being in Vietnam would certainly be a great challenge for a young actor, and it would be ironic that Rambo directs younger Rambo having played it for twenty years plus…"
I, for one, would love to see Rambo's backstory developed into a feature-length film. But in order to get people interested, there has to be a twist. For example, what if Rambo's psychotic tendencies stemmed not from his service in Vietnam, but rather from an ill-fated childhood field-trip to J. Edger Hoovers' office?
You've probably been wondering what an Inception/Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure mash-up would look like. FilmDrunk provides the answer above.
Crazy Interviewing Crazy: 'The Shat' Talks With The D.C. Sniper (TVSquad)
Does i-Dosing Really Work? (Asylum)
6 Manliest Drinks Of All Time (HolyTaco)
'Charlie St. Cloud' Recreated With Hilarious Review Quotes (FilmDrunk)
Sex Net Benfits (Maxim)
Hip Hop Grandpa Can Party With Me Any Day (BarStoolSports)
Eva Amurrai Candid Photos (EgoTV)
10 Movies You'd Have To Be A Serious Douchebag To Hate (Pajiba)
All Things Human Centipede (Unreality)
Rugby Player Smacks Head On Concrete, Remains In Game (TotalProSports)
The Amazing Art Of Ron English (Smosh)
10 Cock Blocks Who Will Ruin Your Game With The Ladies (BroBible)
Adriana Lima Literal Bikini Spread (CelebJihad)
War Machine Survives First Week In Prison (CagePotato)
Dora The Interception Explorer (PopEater)
Kate Moss The Book (MadeMen)
It should be the law to have one in every city.
Vince Vaughn and David O. Russell have been gabbing for weeks about their Old St. Louis project, and now it looks like Universal will let them play in their sandbox. O. Russell wrote the script and would make the film his followup to The Fighter. Deadline reports:
Old St. Louis is the story of a traveling salesman who has been an absentee father, and how his life changes when his daughter becomes part of his life. Vaughn would play the salesman, and actresses including Kick-Ass star Chloe Moretz have been mentioned as possibles to play the daughter.
Being a native of St. Louis, I'm a little put off that the fine city and Gateway to the West isn't mentioned in the logline. Hopefully during the character's travels he gets stranded in STL, forcing production to shoot mostly there for authenticity's sake. Lord knows they could use the money for another strip mall built around an Olive Garden.
"I get no respect. No respect."
Columbia Pictures is in final negotiations with Len Wiseman to have him direct a new version of Total Recall. The original Arnold Schwarzenegger blockbuster was based on a Philip K. Dick and introduced mainstream audiences to the notion of triple-breasted women, a spectacle you would normally need to travel to the Soviet Union to see.
Len Wiseman handles action really well as evidenced by Bruce Willis surfing on a jet in Live Free Or Die Hard, and high-octane pilot for the new "Hawaii Five-O". His contributions to Dick's story should be visually thrilling if nothing else. From Wiseman:
“I’ve always been fascinated with Philip K. Dick’s short story, and I’m excited at that prospect of diving even deeper into the type of world it evokes and the questions it asks. I love that the most crucial mystery our character is trying to solve is the one of his own soul.”
Pfft. Whatever, hippie. Just tell us when Kate Beckinsale will put on a third breast and Gerard Butler gets his ass to Mars.
Check out the full press release after the jump…
Kick-Ass releases on DVD and Blu-Ray next Tuesday, August 3, and Screen Junkies is giving away 5 copies! Watch all the kick-ass action of Kick-Ass in kick-ass high definition and kick-ass sound. The Blu-Ray also includes a making of documentary, an Ass-Kicking BonusView Mode, along with a ton of other special features.
All you have to do is follow Screen Junkies on Twitter and tweet the funniest caption you can muster for the still frame above.
Contest ends tomorrow at 12PM EST. The winner will be announced via Twitter, Facebook, and on the site.
You can enter as many times as you'd like, but make your captions sing. You don't want to get your ass kicked in this contest.
Monica Olsen may not be a household name yet, but that's probably because your prude wife is intimidated by her. She may be 'Brett Ratnerfied' with his upcoming The Unknowns project, which means we could be seeing her hot, if somewhat extremely enhanced boobs, on the big screen in the near future.
A word from Monica: "I like guns… I think every women should know how to use one."
I'm not going to lie. If you were holding a gun in any of your spreads I would totally, totally enjoy that. With oil all over you too, of course.
More pics of Monica and her gun rack after the jump…
We haven't really been covering Mark Pellington's indie drama I Melt With You because it didn't have any porn stars attached. Suddenly, the project sounds a lot more interesting with the addition of Sasha Grey. The porn star has enjoyed a career reinvention recently and is building up an impressive resume by picking up roles that don't require her to spit on her hand.
I Melt With You stars non-porn actors Thomas Jane, Jeremy Piven, and Rob Lowe as friends who feel empty inside and decide to resurrect a pact from their college days. Grey will play "a free spirit who helps one of the men realize that nirvana can only be achieved by death." And deep-throating. Tons and tons of deep-throating. (THR)
In the latest addition of "Between Two Ferns," guest Steve Carell turns the tables on host Zach Galifianakis. You'd think the two would have formed some semblance of a friendship on the set of Dinner for Schmucks, but Carell is completely on the defense right when the cameras start rolling. These interviews never fail to crack me up, and this one is definitely one of the best. Mainly because Carell has a big nose and Galifianakis is overweight.
Check out the video after the jump…
We haven't seen much out of Russell Brand besides his roles as Aldous Snow or when he goes on "The View" and references Joy Behar's lady parts. We'll see what he can do with his next two projects, where he'll portray a drunken millionaire and the Easter Bunny. Now it looks like he may follow those up as a legendary swordsman in Hawkwood.
20th Century Fox has picked up the pitch that has Brand playing John Hawkwood, a real-life swashbuckler from Renaissance times. It's reported that the script will be punched up and tailored more to Brand's comedy style. So keep an eye out for a John Hawkwood who awkwardly hosts basic cable awards shows and flirts with crones twice his age. (Deadline)
Guillermo Del Toro's next directorial project will be At the Mountains of Madness, Latino Review is reporting.
Based on an H.P. Lovecraft novel, the film will tell the tale of a team of scientists who unwittingly awaken prehistoric creatures while on a mission in Antarctica. As you might imagine, they aren't friendly creatures, and bad things begin to happen.
James Cameron has taken some time off from cleaning the oil spill and saving the indigenous population of South America to produce the film, so I hope you like 3D.
Oh, how Hans Zimmer can make the insanely ordinary extraordinary. (Buzzfeed)
Schmuck It Up With Paul Rudd And Steve Carell (TVSquad)
Is She Faking It? Porn Stars Spill Their Orgasm Secrets (Asylum)
5 Ways To Go Crazy From Loneliness (HolyTaco)
Uganda's First Action Movie, 'Who Killed Captain Alex?' (FilmDrunk)
8 Luckiest People Alive [Videos] (Maxim)
Sexiest Barstool New York Photoshoot Of All Time? (BarStoolSports)
The Dark Knight Forgetten Stories That You Never Heard Of (EgoTV)
10 Films Overly Judgmental People Wll Cut You For Hating (Pajiba)
How Life Should Be According To Woody Allen (Unreality)
Chris Kamen's $10,000 Fourth Of July Firework Party (TotalProSports)
Kids' 'Star Wars' Drawings(Smosh)
100 Most Hottest Chicks From New Jersey (BroBible)
Rosario Dawson Video Message For Selena Gomez (CelebJihad)
9 Greatest Moments In MMA Herstory(CagePotato)
Justin Timberlake's Tequila-Fueled Directorial Debut (PopEater)
Hibiki 12 Year-Old Whiskey (MadeMen)