These bible dudes is BEEFIN'.
And now for news that will cause Stephen Hawking to wank off. Alex Proyas (Dark City, I, Robot, Knowing) is set to make standard English requirements badass! He's just set up a deal with Legendary Pictures to adapt John Milton's 17th-century poem "Paradise Lost" into a feature film.
The poem tells the story of the epic war that was fought in Heaven between archangels Michael and Lucifer. It's reported that the film will be action-heavy and feature aerial warfare, possibly in 3D (read: definitely in 3D). Sounds like this could tick off a few religious groups, as it's sure to raise heated debate. All I know is that if there truly is a God, this project won't feature Will Smith or Nicolas Cage. (Variety)
Carl Ellsworth has signed on to scare the crap out of little kids who don't yet know the horrors of real life. The Disturbia and Red Eye screenwriter will adapt the popular childrens book series Goosebumps for the big screen. Two years ago the writers of 1408 took a crack at the material, but Columbia pictures must have thought it wasn't goosebumpy enough.
Back in the day, I used to be a huge fan of this series. I remember flipping through the Scholastic Books order sheet in my 4th grade class and getting psyched when I saw a new Goosebumps was available. Unfortunately The Night of the Living Dummy no longer sends chills up my spine, but the words PAST DUE on an envelope terrify me. (THR)
Shawn Levy has just brought LARPing to a whole 'nother level. Paramount has announced that the Night At The Museum director will bring an adaptation of Spike TV's "Deadliest Warrior" to the big screen. The format of the show pits fighters throughout history against one another in a hypothetical battle to the death. Experts then gather information to determine who would be the likely victor. The plotline for the film is being kept under wraps for the moment, so sadly we won't learn what circumstances will bring an Apache and a Spetsnaz into the arena together at this time.
Our condolences to the directors who missed out on this project. Peter Berg must be beside himself. (Cinema Blend)
It’s been 25 years since director Robert Zemeckis and producer Bob Gale hatched the plot for one of the greatest sci-fi franchises of all time: Back to the Future. In honor of the anniversary, all three films are being released on Blu-ray, complete with all the bonus features you’ve come to expect even though you usually never watch.
In this clip procured by Cinema Blend, Zemeckis and Gale discuss the idea behind the film, and how a chance look through an old yearbook lead to the formation of the plot. It's something, huh? Who would've thought? 100 to 1 shot! I wish I could go back to the beginning of production, put some money on Zemeckis. I said I wish I could go back to the beginning of production, put some money on Robbie.
Watch Zemeckis go Back to the Future after the jump…
King Kong, the world’s most iconic ape, is climbing off the silver screen and onto the Great White Way. Global Creatures, an Australian company currently producing "Walking With Dinosaurs," is working on a stage adaptation of the classic Hollywood film complete with a “20-foot-tall, animatronic incarnation” of Kong.
Unlike the ending to the classic film, the proposed robot Kong will most likely not break free of its chains and run amok in downtown New York. However, the state-of-the-art special effects may not be enough to carry the play. “Lennon,” a 2005 musical based on the life of the iconic Beatle, failed to draw an audience despite having a 15-foot-tall laser-wielding Ringo Star. (Variety)
But watch for X-Wings before you step off the curb.
Ewok it out with these links.
The 10 Best Heist Movie Disguises (Moviefone)
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8 Awesome Videos Of Animals Playing Video Games (Ranker)
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The Reem Episode 6-The Career Of Alistar Overeem (CagePotato)
Justin Timberlake: Pop Star And Oscar Contender? (PopEater)
Made Man's Ultimate Vegas Vacation (MadeMan)
The impossible task of squeezing Kevin James into a stock car has most likely led to his newest project. The comedian has agreed to fall down and get hit in the groin a lot in an untitled mixed martial arts movie. In the film, James stars as a teacher who moonlights as a mixed martial artist in order to prevent budget cuts from shutting down the school's music program. If Sony is truly in need of a title for this, may I suggest Mr. Hollandaise's Opus? Because he's very fat, you see.
Please make all checks out to cash. (Deadline)
Blowing out magical birthday candles, touching an ancient artifact, pissing off a gypsy, and wanting to bang Olivia Wilde so hard. All are now acceptable catalysts for the plots of body swapping comedies. Wilde just joined the cast of David Dobkin's The Change Up.
In the film, Jason Bateman plays a married man who switches bodies with his slacker best friend Ryan Reynolds. Wilde plays a co-worker of Bateman and is cited as a reason for the body swap. I assume that means so that he could bang her. I guess it could mean something else, but this is what makes the most sense to me. It's the perfect plan, and I'm sure guys everywhere are going to try to pull it off themselves. Now Hans, here. Hold this live electrical wire at precisely the same time as me. (Deadline)
He came back as M. Night Shyamalan.
Daniel Stamm, director of The Last Exorcism, has agreed to direct the M. Night Shyamalan-produced Reincarnate, formerly titled Twelve Strangers. The film, scripted by Chris Sparling (Buried), follows a jury haunted by supernatural forces while deciding the fate of an accused murderer. Shyamalan and Sparling clearly get their kicks by locking people in things. Ryan Reynolds in a coffin, random people and the Devil in an elevator, and now jury members in a room. I hope the jury at least gets sandwiches. …Sandwiches tormented by supernatural forces. TWIST! (Deadline)
The Town is filled with juicy actor soliloquies and detailed action sequences, but they are heinously pieced together in a by-the-numbers dramatic plot laden with one mushy romance.
From the action-packed prologue we think that we will be in for a ride through the criminal and FBI robbery division world of the Charlestown neighborhood of Boston, Massachusetts. Yet after the opener, the movie rolls downhill into a story about Charlestown townie bank robber Doug MacRay (Ben Affleck emoting with smirks, scowls, and sad watery eyes), who should really get the hell out of Boston before he ends up dead or in prison. MacRay shares this fate with his fellow bank robbing partner Jim Coughlin (Jeremy Renner in another intense performance) while finding love with a recent bank teller hostage Claire Keesey (Rebecca Hall) and being pursued by the frumpy FBI robbery agent Fawley (Jon Hamm showing that he is far more comfortable playing Don Draper than this sexless, boring-ass of a crusader here).
More after the jump…
Emma Stone is the redheaded best friend who you wish you could have banged in your Millenium Falcon bed back in high school. With each occurring role Emma finds herself becoming the sexy/cool/geek crossover girl of the decade. Her latest movie Easy A may not beat out your favorite high school movie, but at least it will have some brains to go with the boobs for 90 minutes.
A word from Emma: "My latest obsession would be movies, probably. It would be just going to see movies and the entertainment industry. It sounds stupid, but that's pretty much what I do."
You sound like a blogger. Gross. Kidding! Are you free for Chipotle on Friday?
More pics of Emma after the jump…
The first trailer for The Tourist starring Johnny Depp and Angelina Jolie and directed by Florian Henckel von Donnersmarck (use a acronym, dude) is up. The remake of the French film Anthony Zimmer stars Depp as a bumbling American who becomes embroiled in a plot to blah, blah, blah. Angelina Jolie co-stars as a spy for the eleventy-billionth time in her career, and does her best Gemma Arterton impression. Also, there is tango dancing. It's mandatory that spies tango.
Watch the trailer after the jump…
Screen Junkies fans (yes, we have them) Sara and Janelle decided to show off their new gear by having a movie night. They sent us the pics and now I share them with you. I call this piece "S&J For SJ."
Well hello, Ladies. Where'd you get that snazzy swag?
Circa 1996, when VHS and 'Tin Cup' were popular.
"How are we gonna play these?!"
Gary Ross is the frontrunner to direct the child gladiator epic Hunger Games. Though the deal is not in place yet, the Pleasantville and Seabiscuit director is now in talks with Lionsgate to murder childeren in what is expected to be the first film in a huge franchise.
The film tells the story of teenagers between the ages of 12 and 18 who are sacrificed by their communities to take part in a reality show where they hunt one another for sport. Obviously no casting has been announced yet, but I'm pulling for Justin Bieber. (Deadline)
As if the The Human Centipede isn't a sick enough concept, now there's a porn parody. The Human Sexipede is sure to be jam packed with ATM that the captive test subjects will think is icky at first, but then totally embrace. The final line from the mad scientist in the trailer really sums up the entire production. If any of you guys see the full movie let me know how it is. I'm going to stand by the fact I haven't already watched it ten times today.
Check out The Human Sexipede trailer after the jump…
Hold the phone! Longtime fan of hitting things, Russell Crowe has signed on to do BFF the RZA a solid by slumming it in the rapper's shoddily-directed kung fu flick, The Man With The Iron Fist. The only thing we know about Crowe's character is that he'll be playing "the baddest man alive." Shouldn't be a stretch. He's already regarded as one of the baddest musicians alive.
Crowe is more than likely doing this as a favor to his friend and oft co-star, so it's unlikely his labor will take that big of a bite out of the movie's $20 million budget. The craft service budget on the other hand… (E!)
You might think since George Lazenby only got to play James Bond once, it must’ve meant he sucked. Actually, On Her Majesty’s Secret Service is considered one of the best Bond movies ever. If you’re a Bond fan and you haven’t seen it, watch it now. It really holds up especially well after the gritty Daniel Craig ones. Once you see it, you’ll really want to know more about the mysterious one time only Bond.
41 years later, Lazenby has a sense of humor about it. He goes out to autograph signings and he attended an American Cinematheque showing of On Her Majesty’s at the Aero Theater in Santa Monica. After conflicting stories on DVD extras and books and articles, Lazenby told the audience what really happened on his Bond movie.
Lauren Ambrose is beefing up her awesome comedy resume by joining Paul Rudd, Jennifer Aniston, and Justin Theroux in David Wain's Wanderlust. Ambrose, who is best known for roles in "Six Feet Under" and Can't Hardly Wait but better known to me as a girl who visited my college for a week and may have quite possibly made number twosies in my bathroom (unconfirmed), will play a member of a commune that Rudd and Aniston's characters encounter during their move to Atlanta in the Judd Apatow-produced film.
With her "Six Feet Under" co-stars Michael C. Hall and Peter Krause both finding success on the small screen, this may just be the launching pad that launches Ambrose into the mainstream. At the very least, it will ensure that she gets to make awkward small talk with Martin Starr at a future Apatow Family barbeque. (Variety)
Above: Steve Buscemi in the upcoming HBO series, "Boardwalk Empire."
Rampart just got a whole lot sexier. Actor Steve Buscemi has joined the cast of the upcoming crime drama, which already includes Sigourney Weaver, Ice Cube, Woody Harrelson and Robin Wright. Buscemi, an obvious inspiration to Internet writers everywhere, will reportedly play the awesome ugly dude everybody likes even though he's ugly.
The script for Rampart was written by Oren Moverman and novelist James Ellroy. Ellroy's involvement means that the film will be set in L.A., and will involve the LAPD, probably with a healthy dose of police corruption and racial slurs thrown in for good measure.
Filming is set to begin in October. (Empire Online)
How many Italians does it take to make The Irishman? At least four, from what I can tell.
Deadline is reporting that Al Pacino and Joe Pesci are joining Robert De Niro for Martin Scorsese's planned adaptation of I Heard You Paint Houses, a book chronicling the life of Frank “The Irishman” Sheeran, a reputed hitman who some suspect was behind the disappearance of Teamsters president Jimmy Hoffa.
While the film would mark the first Scorsese/De Niro collaberation since Casino (1995), chances are it won't begin production anytime soon. Scorsese is currently working on Hugo Cabret and doing press for the HBO series, "Boardwalk Empire." The famed director is also slated to film a Frank Sinatra biopic, which would further postpone any work on The Irishman.
Personally, all this talk about Irishmen and Italians is making me a little uncomfortable. Like my grandma always said, the only people worth a good god damn come from eastern Bulgaria. It's our world, and you punks are just living in it. International calling code 395 4 life, bitch! (Collider)
Here are some demonic dolls for those of you who can't get enough Betty White.
These links easily fit inside one another.
'The League' Talks Guest Stars, D**k Jokes, and Season 2 (TVSquad)
The Biggest Unpaid Stripper Bills Ever (Asylum)
Top 10 Hottest Homoerotic True Blood Moments (Ranker)
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Ryan Gosling And Michelle Williams Have Messy, Toxic Sex Scene (PopEater)
Buy Beckham's Mansion (MadeMan)
Warning: This clip from Danny Boyle's 127 Hours doesn't contain any of James Franco's arms getting cut off. Warning: It does contain Kate Mara getting wet. If you believe the latter might make you faint or nauseous I suggest you go no further.
Audience members at the Telluride and the Toronto Film Festivals have been passing out and seizing do to the graphic nature of 127 Hours. The movie is about a dude who has to cut off his own arm after it gets really REALLY stuck in crevice **resists urge to make crevice joke**. If you know you can't handle that, why would you go see it?! Stay for the first half with the swimming and laughing, and leave once the screaming starts.
Check out the clip after the jump…
'Mad Men' star Jon Hamm is a serious contender for the lead in the planned Superman reboot, Latino Review is reporting. His physique, strong jaw, and slicked black hair make him a natural fit for the character. However, Hamm himself expressed reservations about playing a superhero in a recent interview with MTV.
"It's a tricky road to go down with some of those heroes, because they're not flawed. Superman is Superman – he's invincible, so where's the drama?"
Where's the drama with superheroes? Obviously this guy hasn't seen a little film called Fantastic Four: The Rise Of The Silver Surfer! If he had, he'd understand the ridiculousness of his statement. I hope the producers of the new Superman reboot do a careful vetting before they jump into bed with this guy.
This is what happens when you show a Stanley Kubrick restrospective in Hollywood. During the screening of 2001: A Space Odyssey this past weekend at the Egyptian Theater, a man started shouting at the screen and the audience due to a bad acid trip. Why you'd willing drop acid and then go to a crowded theater to see a movie that's inevitably going to blow your mind is beyond me. Thank God they got him out before the Star Child scene. He might have suffered several seizures at once.
Check out the trippy video after the jump…
Even assassins have their soft spots.
Mickey Rourke has signed on for the feature adaptation of the book "The Ice Man: Confessions of a Mafia Contract Killer." David McKenna (American History X) is writing the script about Richard "The Ice Man" Kuklinksi, a professional assassin who doubled as a loving father and husband in New Jersey.
Hmmmm, sounds like Tony Soprano, does it not? But considering Kuklinksi isn't Italian, this story will have less capicola and guys shouting, "OH EH! EH OH!" Or maybe it's just Tony Danza that does that. Either way, Rourke is playing an assassin, and he's a method actor, so if you start hearing stories of hookers being found with double-taps to the chest, don't look at me. It was probably Rourke. NOT me. (Variety)
Devils and demons have possessed the silver screen in many formats, from comedies to cartoons, CGI depictions, psychological thrillers, and fantasy worlds. Yet the most bad-ass, ripsnorting, fire breathing incarnations that we remember are the ones that send chills down our spines. With Devil taking over theaters Friday, I thought I'd compile a list of the 10 most bad-ass Devils in movies. Nothing is better than witnessing your favorite actor playing the ultimate screen villain of old Beelzebub himself. Hail Satan!
Al Pacino as John Milton – The Devil's Advocate
While the movie is just a silly combination of John Grisham novels meets the production designer of Rosemary’s Baby, there's plenty of hot and steamy sex with Connie Nelson and Charlize Theron. Plus Al Pacino plays the devil, so do I really need to say anything more?
Matthew McConaughey has signed on to star in a comedy, but in a shocking twist, it won't involve Sarah Jessica Parker or the ghosts of girlfriends past. It will, however, involve Academy Award winning director William Friedkin and a script by Pulitzer Prize winning writer Tracy Letts.
Killer Joe, co-staring Emile Hirsch, follows a pair of siblings "who plot the death of their mother for the insurance money." McConaughey will play "Killer Joe" Cooper, a dirty cop hired to do the deed.
Will McConaughey's collaboration with Friedkin (The French Connection, The Exorcist) prove as successful as his previous collaboration with director Tom Dey (Failure to Launch, Marmaduke)? Only time will tell. (THR)
Good news for fans of epic fantasy and, or birds flying in slow motion. HBO has released a new teaser trailer for their epic fantasy series, "Game of Thrones."
The clip, which ran before last night's episode of "True Blood," featured your standard fanta-crap fare: men on horses, sword fights, a single hot chick with long, flowing hair. But it also contained a lot of slow-motion shots of a raven flying. I'm sure the raven has some significance, but I'm not going to look it up. That crap's for dorks, yo! And I'm no dork! I'll just check my fantasy football stats, instead. (Deadline)
Watch the new "Game of Thrones" teaser after the jump.
In this parody trailer, a new kind of Hobbit is in town, and it's packin' heat. These little guys will street sweep The Shire and set your punk-ass elf-ass straight at any counsel. This summer, Gandalf brings gangta to Middle Earth.
Check out the Boyz N the Ring after the jump…
There's a clue inside the baby.
The original Girl with the Dragon Tattoo Noomi Rapace has become the new "it" actress in Hollywood. She recently signed on to deliver death alongside Jeremy Renner in Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters, and now she's secured a role in Sherlock Holmes 2. The logline is being kept under wraps, but Noomi is said to be playing a French Gypsy. It is unclear if the role is romantic in nature. One would think Holmes would be smart enough to not trust a Gypsy, but when they cast an evil spell on you at a street fair you can't resist them. It's the only way I can explain the atrocious lamp in my living room. (THR)