Is he wearing lipstick?
Yesterday it seemed a little odd when it was announced that Oscar-winning director Davis Guggenheim would direct the upcoming 3D Justin Bieber biopic. And I guess it seemed odd to Guggenheim too, because he has just taken himself off the project according to Deadline. Guggenheim cites "scheduling conflicts" as the reason for his departure, but we all know that's just Hollywood speak for "This diminutive singing child punches people in the balls. I'm not willing to put my balls at risk to work with him."
So as of right now, the very important film is left without a director. I think what Justin needs most is someone who can really identify with him. Someone who knows his music inside and out. Someone with Doritos breath. If only such a person existed.
Little Fockers is in trouble, and Universal Studios is deperately looking for a solution. Earlier in the week, Deadline reported that execs think a week of pickups with the principal cast in September is required to bring the movie closer to a viewable state. They were even at one point considering replacing director Paul Weitz with producer-writer John Hamburg, but that tactic got "rejected after Hamburg visited the set one weekend." He obviously wasn't pleased with the BBQ chicken quesadillas craft services slaved over.
Now Universal believes the answer to their problems comes in the form of a short, Jewish, 73 year-old man named Dustin Hoffman. Vulture reports that the studio is "looking into whether Hoffman might consider a last-minute reprise of his role as Bernie Focker in an effort to funny-up the comedy." Yeah, let's shoe horn in the arrival of Ben Stiller's character's neurotic Jewish father and all will be well. If Dustin doesn't cut it, then we'll fly in Barbra Streisand. If she doesn't work out, we'll add a ton more foreskin jokes, say our prayers, and let the chips fall where they may. Somewhere, some Universal exec has a thousand-yard stare and is tracing the trigger of a revolver with his index finger.
Ah, to be young again.
Hot on the heels of the magical time-travel plot device news, comes word that Hollywood is officially out of ideas. Fox has greenlighted the body swap 29. Based on the book by Adena Halpern, 29 tells the story of a 75-year old grannie who turns 29 again for just one day. She teams up with her granddaughter for an adventure, while her daughter and best friend assume she's been kidnapped and embark on their own mission to save the wrinkled, old coot.
Okay. I'm just gonna put this out there. Nana, stop reading. Okay, no olds reading? Okay, here goes. F*ck old people. I don't need to see their adventures on-screen. I just need to know what to buy them for Christmas (otherwise they're getting gloves again). Stop wasting this genre on old person turns young stories, and give America what it really wants. A husband and wife switch bodies and while the wife/husband is trying her/his best to win the bread for the family, the husband/wife is sitting at home playing with his/her own boobs all day. It would be Hollywood's first approach at a body swap movie grounded in reality. (THR)
Every day for the next two weeks, we're going to feature a cast member from the upcoming film The Expendables. These ten bad-ass actors, who deliver a extensive amount of property damage in the film, are legends in the action movie genre. Today the spotlight is on none other than the Governator himself. Arnold Schwarzenegger only has a small cameo in The Expendables, but his brief appearance completes the circle of legends.
Highly Debatable Best Role: The Terminator in The Terminator
Weird Fact: Underwent a genioplasty — a procedure in which his jaw has been moved back so that it no longer juts out.
MORE AFTER THE JUMP…
There's already been a MySpace parody of The Social Network trailer and now comes the inevitable YouTube parody. It adds as much drama to a movie about a video website as anyone could hope for. Keyboard Cat even makes an appearance, although I'm not sure why he isn't a bigger character. His lackadaisical ivory-tickling still keeps YouTube afloat to this day.
Check out the parody trailer after the jump…
While Diane Sorrentino may only have a few casting credits, this hot from the Brooklyn block girl knows how to show off her talents when it counts. Diane can be seen in the upcoming internet porn dramedy Middle Men, where she'll be playing the aptly named Robin Swallows, a porn star, no less.
More pics of Diane after the jump…
Kurt Russell is Kurt Russell in "Kurt Russell." Coming soon to a theater near you.
Kurt Russell is adding another entry to the "Kurt Russell Plays An Inspirational Coach" sub-genre of film with Touchback. What makes this different from the other times Kurt has hung a whistle around his neck? Magical time travel. Literally, this movie has magical time travel.
From the producer of We Are Marshall, Invincible, The Rookie, and other movies with sepia toned posters, Touchback tells the story of a would-be star athlete whose luck falls apart when he is injured during a high school game. Years later, he is magically transported back to the fateful game that wrecked his career. He must choose between the crummy life he has, for the one he always wanted. Just like when Jim Belushi had to choose between Linda Hamilton and Rene Russo in Mr. Destiny, except this time it's football and there's no Jon Lovitz. (Variety)
Kevin Smith is rounding out Red State's cast of "well-known unknowns." He's already cast Michael Parks (who? Oh yeah. That guy.) to play the sadistic minister at the center of the story. Now there's news that a few other folks who you recognize from someplace may join the cast. Dermot Mulroney (About Schmidt), Stephen Root (Office Space), Kyle Gallner (Nightmare On Elm Street remake), Melissa Leo ("Treme"), and Michael Angarano (Gentleman Broncos) are contemplating taking roles in the horror film.
I'm not sure all these people count as unknowns. Dermot Mulroney and Stephen Root are pretty well-accomplished. Root starred on a popular sitcom for five years, and has appeared in over 150 projects. And some would argue that Dermot Mulroney is the most famous Dermot in America, nay, on the Planet Earth. (The Wrap)
Director Stephen Sommers may return for the proposed G.I. Joe sequel, Coming Soon is reporting…because they're obviously bored. Sommers, who directed G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra, would join Channing Tatum, who will reprise his role as Captain Duke Hause. Whooop-dee-do!
What is interesting, however, is that Rhett Reese and Paul Wernic, the writers behind Zombieland, are working on the script. This seems to indicate one of two things. Either the next G.I. Joe film will be a vast improvement over the original, or a certain pair of screenwriters are about to be exposed as frauds. Only time will tell.
Got to get tough, Reese and Wernic!
Ay ay ay! Will Ferrell's next movie will be entirely in Spanish….más o menos.
Easy there, Pat Buchanan. Don't move to Arizona and join the Minute Men just yet. It's not what it sounds like.
One of Will’s Funny or Die friends will direct the movie and from the way it’s being described, maybe we should all be picturing something along the lines of Conan O’Brien’s “Conando” sketches. It sounds like it could be a Spanish-language movie intended for an English speaking audience.
As a conosur of Telemundo, I think this film has a lot of potential. I can totally see Ferrell as a huge purple bug, or maybe dressed as an over-sized schoolboy complete with giant props. Throw in some dancing chicks and a hot weather girl, and you've got a cross-cultural blockbuster on your hands. (Cinema Blend)
Like I showed you with Tina Fey's 1995 bank commercial yesterday, we all start somewhere. Paul Rudd's entrancing air guitar solo at this bat mitzvah must have landed him the Josh role in Clueless. He quickly went from playing opposite an air guitar to playing opposite an airhead. I'm here all week, folks! Try the lobster! (BuzzFeed)
These links have become a woman.
'Sons of Anarchy' Cast On Emmy Snub: "F– 'Em" (TVSquad)
Meat Made The Human Race Smart (Asylum)
The Hidden Dangers Of Strip Clubs (HolyTaco)
81-Year-Old HS Sweetheart Reunion Is Cute, Kinda Gross (FilmDrunk)
Order Your Tie With A Twist (Maxim)
Reason #2398723432 Why I Don't Ride The Bus (BarStoolSports)
15 Videos Of People Getting Tasered (EgoTV)
Clooney's 'The American' Goes Back For Re-Shoots (Pajiba)
Where's Waldo In This Street Fighter Art Poster? (Unreality)
9 Vintage Basketball Sneakers (TotalProSports)
25 Totally Sweet 'Star Wars' Cakes (Smosh)
15,000 Fireworks Exploded At Once (BroBible)
Jessica Alba Shows Her Butt (CelebJihad)
Jessica Pene Doesn't Need A Gimmick To Kick Your Ass (CagePotato)
Christina Hendricks Loves Tight Clothing (PopEater)
Heal Fast Like A Vampire (MadeMen)
Sh*t or get off the pot, Cage. Deadline is reporting that Nicolas Cage is back on Trespass after recently quitting the Joel Schumacker-directed film. He originally signed on to play the kidnapped husband to the kidnapped Nicole Kidman. Then he wanted to play the kidnapper who kidnaps the married couple. Now he's back as the kidnapped husband again. Before production starts on August 30th, Cage is expected to quit two more times, return two more times, take over the kidnapped wife role, and kidnap the actual Nicole Kidman. Production will work around his schedule.
I didn't enjoy Inception as much as Peter Travers did. The action was great and the overall concept was enjoyable, but I didn't find the characters grounded enough to get hooked into. They definitely weren't as fleshed out as Scrooge McDuck. It's come to light today that Christopher Nolan, stealing stealer who steals, stole the plot to Inception from a Scrooge McDuck comic strip.
You'd think a zillionaire like Scrooge McDuck would have his mind trained against intruders entering his subconscious. And how do we know that Donald isn't actually Tom Hardy? God, this comic is such a mindf*ck. (via /Film)
A screening of Inception this past weekend turned into a reeeeeeeaaaaalllllll nightmare for Matthew Vaughn (crickets). Vaughn says that he was sunk when he saw Joseph Gordon-Levitt involved in a zero gravity fistfight because it was too similar to what they were planning to do with X-Men: First Class. The scene in question would feature James McAvoy's Professor X in "dream-space combat" with "spinning rooms and other physics-bending imagery," but now it's been torn from the script as Vaughn's team brainstorms a new set piece. "So it's either leave it in and look as if you're copying or change things. We completely ripped out about 12 pages of the script and the storyboards," commented Vaughn.
Whatever. It's an easy fix. Just set the fight in a bounce castle. Why waste time thinking and writing? They obviously learned nothing from the example set by X-Men 3. (LA Times)
WTF, Outer Limits?
MGM doesn't have enough dough to get another Bond film or The Hobbit off the ground, but that doesn't mean they can't revive a 1960s sci-fi series no one cares about. The broke Lion studio has hired Saw 4-7 writers Patrick Melton and Marcus Dunstan to pen a feature take on "The Outer Limits." This means they'll have to come up with a way to scare audiences that doesn't involve an elaborate Rube Goldberg-esque death trap strapped to someone's extremities. Or maybe they won't.
MGM admits that the two writers were paid just weeks ago but insists they were hired well before the studio went into the shitter. If they paid these guys 500k just a few weeks ago where did they come up with the money and why isn't that lion's legs broken yet? I hope he's turning tricks on a street corner in something form-fitting. Tom Sizemore is cruising around Hollywood right now looking for "a different kind" of prostitute. (Variety)
While my boss rightfully makes fun of me for going to see Step Up 3D, Sharni Vinson, another hot chick from down under, definitely deserves the girl gallery treament. Sharni may not yet possess the acting talent to support an entire movie, but she does have the moves to keep us wanting for more. The 3D doesn't hurt matters either.
A word from Sharni: "Though I have no experience dancing in 3D, I did the best I could."
I've heard dancing in 3D is much like regular dancing, considering life is lived in 3D.
More pics of fly Sharni after the jump…
It seems a little convenient that the Eva Mendes sex tape just happened to hit the internet the very week her film The Other Guys opens in theaters. I feel like she's been keeping this one in her pocket for awhile now and the big guns at Sony persuaded (forced) her to release it on the world. We've all demanded it for years, and now it's finally here. Enjoy, Internet.
Check out the sticky tape after the jump…
Shortly after it was announced that diminutive singing child Justin Bieber would pen the very important memoir Justin Bieber: First Step 2 Forever: My Story, we now have more details on that 8 Mile thing he's doing for money.
Paramount Pictures has made a deal to turn Justin Bieber's life story into a 3D feature biopic. Davis Guggenheim, the Oscar-winning director of An Inconvenient Truth, is negotiating to direct.
The biopic is set for a Valentine's Day release and will also include footage from Bieber's upcoming concert at Madison Square Garden. It's uncertain how much of the film will cover Bieber getting hopped up on Sour Patch Kids and punching his manager in the balls. Probably like two-thirds. (Deadline)
Director: Troy Nixey
Cast: Guy Pearce, Katie Holmes
Synopsis: A young girl sent to live with her father and his new girlfriend discovers creatures in her new home who want to claim her as one of their own.
Release Date: January 21, 2011
Middle Men, hitting theaters Friday, is the tale of Jack Harris (played by Luke Wilson) who has a successful career fixing problem companies. He meets Wayne Beering (Giovanni Ribisi) and Buck Dolby (Gabriel Macht), who've invented a way for adult entertainment to be sold over the internet. Based on a true story, I'm sure they won't go as far as to mention the actual name of the website. It will probably be something close to the actual website URL but funnier for movie fans.
The internet has a played a part in the plot of countless movies. In some cases it's a brief mention that just moves the story along but in others it's a main focus that actually drives the storyline. Here are ten movies that use fake websites. Some of the website names might be even more popular than the actual movie.
Like this but nakeder.
We've been writing about Cowboys & Aliens for a little while now, but haven't really formed an opinion on whether or not we're looking forward to it. Until now because Olivia Wilde is appearing naked again. Adam Beach (who plays Nat Colorado) was recently interviewed and began describing the on-set experience of Olivia Wilde's nude scene.
"We just finished shooting Olivia Wilde naked in front of a bonfire in front of 500 Apache warriors. That was beautiful. You won't get to see what I saw, but you'll get a glimpse."
First of all, that's going to make things awkward for Adam at the wrap party. Secondly, big deal. We'll probably only get to see her back and maybe a slightly moon-lit ass. Thirdly, I'd call standing naked in front of 500 Apache warriors a pretty intense experience. But if you're Gary Busey, you'd call it Tuesday. (Jam)
For years, losers like myself have staved off our suicidal thoughts with the hope of an Arrested Development movie. But month after month, it's a roller coaster of emotions as rumors about the on-again off-again project mount. But now comes a sliver of hope! Michael Cera and Jeffrey Tambor both seem to think it's happening!
Based on interviews the stars did at Comic-Con, the film almost seems inevitable. Unfortunately, neither star has any specifics, although Tambor went as far as to say he may need a walker by time the film gets under way.
Strange, I never thought I'd use the term c*cktease and Jeffrey Tambor in the same sentence. Michael Cera, on the other hand…me-ow! (Empire Online)
Jason Reitman has signed on to direct Diablo Cody's latest screenplay, Young Adult. Reitman, who also directed Cody's teen-pregnancy film, Juno, will have Charlize Theron as a lead, playing an author who finds success writing under a pseudonym.
The film will be Reitman's first since directing the Oscar winning Up in the Air, and will be Cody's first since penning the box-office bomb, Jennifer's Body. If you combine those two titles, you have Up in Jennifer's Body, which I think sounds a hell of a lot more interesting than Young Adult, but that's just me. (Cinema Blend)
With just two weeks to go before filming begins, Nicholas Cage has pulled out of Joel Schumacher's Trespass, Deadline is reporting. Cage was to star along side Nicole Kidman, playing a husband who is kidnapped with his wife by a group of thugs looking for ransom. Cage's departure leaves Schumacher and Co. scrambling to find a suitable replacement. Liev Schreiber is rumored to be in the running.
If there's one thing to be said for Cage, it's that he likes to work. And while he's made some great movies, he also churns out horrible films without blinking an eye (The Wicker Man, Ghost Rider). So if he's walking away from your project, it might be time to consider hanging up your director's helmet.
See Nic Cage get his face stung off by bees after the jump…
Oregon Trail: The Movie Official Trailer – Watch more Game Trailers
I was obsessed with this game in elementary school. It made learning a fun adventure full of snake bites and terminal cases of dysentery. No wonder I got so bored with education as I rose through the grades. There weren't nearly enough snake bites my Junior year. Too much dysentary, sure, but not enough snake bites. (HalfDayToday)
Purchase these links at the livery.
Will Farrell, Mark Wahlberg, And Adam McKay 'Unscripted' (Moviefone)
NSFW Barbie Calendar–Is It Porn? (Asylum)
Sexy Sexy MILF: Miranda Kerr (HolyTaco)
Barbarians, Shirtless Dudes, Sword Fights etc: 'Centrurion' Clip (FilmDrunk)
Weekend Treats Part 1 (Maxim)
Pirate Puppet Assholes Buried $10k In New York? (BarStoolSports)
10 Videos Of People Getting Really Pissed (EgoTV)
Gary Oldman Has The Offically Gone Purple (Pajiba)
9 Classic Sports Video Games We Loved As A Child (TotalProSports)
Fighting Games We'd Like To See (Smosh)
Glitch In The Matrix, Morpheus' Daughter Makes A Sex Tape (BroBible)
Selena Gomez Admits She Is Gay, Loves Hooters (CelebJihad)
Thales Leites' To-Do List (CagePotato)
Eminem Admits He Thinks About His Own Death (PopEater)
Highest Paid Adult Video Actresses (MadeMen)
Don't get oil all over your ruby slippers, Dorothy.
Five years after striking indie cinema gold with Little Miss Sunshine, Jonathan Dayton and Valerie Faris look like they'll finally step behind the camera again. The duo have been attempting to bring Tom Perrotta's novel "The Abstinence Teacher" to screens since 2006 but, after multiple setbacks, it was believed the project was dead.
Production Weekly has reported the project is back from the grave with the news that Sandra Bullock and Steve Carell are attached to star. Bullock will play the sex-ed teacher at odds with conservative community members, and Carell will play the born-again soccer coach she finds herself falling for. I'm not sure what wacky circumstance will cause them to pretend to be married, but this is a Sandra Bullock movie. It's bound to be a plot-point.
David Schwimmer has taken his message behind enemy lines by posting the trailer for David Schwimmer's Trust: Based On the Play "Trust" By David Schwimmer online. Sadly, since returning to investigate the debris of his dead planet many light years away, Chris Hansen isn't available to save our daughters from the clutches of sexual predators. Clive Owen stars as the dad in this cautionary tale about the dangers of letting your child chat with strangers online, and he should really step up his parenting a bit. You never know when your daughter's AOL Buddy might turn out to be a wolf in dog-wearing-sunglasses clothing.
Hey Predators. Learn how to sleep with Clive Owen's daughter after the jump…
Laura Ramsey is known in most circles as the 'Hollywood female equivalent to Kurt Warner'. My guess is she's called this due to to her rise from a Wisconsin waitress to working leading lady in less than a year. Laura has starred in She's the Man with Amanda Bynes, Lords of Dogtown with Nikki Reed, and Venom with Method Man. One of these co-stars in not like the others…
A word from Laura: "Method Man smells like cabbage."
Yep, that sounds about right.
More pics of Laura after the jump…
Margarita Levieva (hot Lisa P. from Adventureland) and two dudes (Brian Geraghty, Josh Peck) have signed on to star in the ATM thriller ATM. Chris Sparling (Buried) wrote the script and David Brooks is directing. The film centers on "three co-workers who make a late-night visit to an ATM and end up in a desperate fight for their lives when they become trapped by an unknown man."
The whole horrific night comes about when the three co-workers stop for some late night pizza after a company Christmas party. They need cash to pay for the slices and end up getting stuck in an ATM vestibule for ninety minutes with a hooded mad man standing between them and their car. Of course, their cellphones are either back in the vehicle or out of battery. Clearly this film is a cautionary tale for anyone craving a midnight snack. It's not worth the risk. Or the caloriiiiiiies! (THR)