Hey, here's the poster for Ben Affleck's Bank Rob Town – Population: Bankrobbers. Did you know that there are 300 bank robberies a year in Boston? It's true. OR, SO THE TRAILER FOR THE TOWN WOULD LIKE YOU TO BELIEVE.
I've actually checked the FBI crime stats for the past 10 years. On the low end it's 140 per year, and on the high it's 300 bank jobs per year (225 average)… for the entire Commonwealth of Massachusetts. Affleck cooked the numbers. If he had said "Greater Boston area" I'd let it go. Now I can't.
Enjoy your nun dress, jerk.
Warner Bros is determined to bring back that rascally rabbit Bugs Bunny, sans Brendan Fraser and Michael Jordan this time. David Berenbaum (The Spiderwick Chronicles) has been hired to write Bugs Bunny, a live action/CG feature film. The studio must want to jump on the new wave of reviving old cartoon characters through the use of computer magic. As of late, we've been subjected to Marmaduke, The Smurfs, and Yogi Bear, and now the "Looney Tunes" bin is being raided.
I've been a huge fan of Bugs Bunny for as long as I can remember. The "Looney Tunes" cartoons were way ahead of their time, and the talented Mel Blanc, who voiced Bugs along with Elmer Fudd, Daffy Duck, and Porky Pig, managed to create a stable of characters whose catch phrases will live on forever. I especially enjoyed when he'd raise his voice an octive when Bugs dressed up like a girl bunny. There's a fine line between pre-op and post-op delivery, and he nailed it. (Deadline)
I know I'm not alone in citing The Empire Strikes Back as my favorite Star Wars film. It built upon the mythos presented in the original and expanded the universe in very cool ways and played up the darker tones without transparently trying to sell more toys. And it didn't include Ewoks. Gary Kurtz was George Lucas's partner for the first two films in the saga, and now he's speaking out for the first time about what makes the series suck now. Namely, it's Lucas's greed and desire to sell more toys. Beam me up (or something) LA Times!
"I could see where things were headed. The toy business began to drive the [Lucasfilm] empire. It's a shame. They make three times as much on toys as they do on films. It's natural to make decisions that protect the toy business but that's not the best thing for making quality films…. The first film and ‘Empire’ were about story and character, but I could see that George’s priorities were changing. The emphasis on the toys, it's like the cart driving the horse."
Oh snap! Equestrian BURN.
“We had an outline [for the third film] and George changed everything in it. Instead of bittersweet and poignant he wanted a euphoric ending with everybody happy. The original idea was that they would recover [the kidnapped] Han Solo in the early part of the story and that he would then die in the middle part of the film in a raid on an Imperial base. George then decided he didn’t want any of the principals killed. By that time there were really big toy sales and that was a reason.”
That totally almost explains Jabba's faaaabulous uncle, Ziro the Hutt.
Good news for fans of killer robots from the future. A bunch of production companies you've never heard of are developing Terminator 3000, a proposed $70 million, 3D animated feature.
Although plot details are sparse, the film will involve characters from the original Terminator. However, what we do know is that those involved with the production are keeping violence to a minimum in order to avoid an R rating. After all, we wouldn't want a movie about blood-thirsty cyborgs from a post-apocalyptic hell hole to get too violent. What if someone wants to take their grandma, or maybe their 4-year-old daughter? Terminator was meant for the whole family. (Coming Soon)
Do one thing and do it well.
The Justin Bieber biopic has found its director, and a more fitting choice could not have been made. His name: Jon Chu.
"Who's Jon Chu," you ask? Oh, I don't know. He's only the director behind a little film called Step Up 3D, 2010's hottest dance based 3D movie! That's who Jon Chu is, b*tch! Who the hell are you?
Cinema Blend is reporting that over 20 directors applied for the job, but Chu ultimately won out because of his previous experience with 3D films. That, and he was the only one of the bunch who wasn't a convicted sex offender.
Rest easy, Justin. Jon Chu won't try to touch you in your bikini area.
What in God's name does crafty serve on a Guillermo del Toro set? The food is just as disturbing as the creatures.
Here are your delectable links.
8 Movie-Approved Ways To Quit Your Job (Moviefone)
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Countdown To 'The Expendables', Day 4 'Over The Top' (MovieHopping)
On July 31st, over 500 people (nerds) gathered at the Royal Ontario Museum in Toronto, Canada to participate in a massive Jedi vs. Sith lightsaber battle. The event was held by Newmindspace, an interactive public art dissemenation based in New York and Toronto. In addition to the lightsaber battles, they've organized massive bubble baths, pillow fights, and blanket forts. And no, none were populated by women in baby doll pajamas.
Watch 500 nerds battle with neon sticks after the jump…
It seems Ryan Reynolds's washboard abs are nabbing all the juicy roles these days. Green Lantern himself has emerged as the front runner to play opposite Denzel Washington in Safe House. Washington signed on a few weeks ago as the film's villain, and Reynolds would be the hero, "a young CIA agent who must transport a dangerous criminal to safety after both are attacked at a safe house."
Some very talented young actors have been vying for the role, including Shia LeBeouf, Taylor Kitsch, Chris Pine, Sam Worthington, Garrett Hedlund, Zac Efron, Channing Tatum, Chris Hemsworth, and Jake Gyllenhaal. No final decision has been made, so we can't give Reynolds the crown just yet. I have it on good authority that Universal Studios will be closing down the gym at a local YMCA to award the role. All of the actors will be filed in and a broken pool cue dropped in the middle of them. My money's still on Deadpool. (Deadline)
There's been some rumblings that Warner Bros. wants to move forward with a Green Lantern trilogy, with plans to film the second and third films back-to-back. Which I think is a thinly-veiled ploy to spend more time hanging around Blake Lively. I see what you're doing there, Warners.
However should this happen, it's going to severly screw up the production of the Deadpool movie that nobody wants to see by tying up Ryan Reynolds. Deadpool co-creater Rob Liefeld may or may not have inside knowledge about the project, but he definitely has an opinion on how things should go. From his Twitter:
"Warner Bros. just trying to protect their investment. They don’t want Ryan Reynolds playing Deadpool AND Green Lantern. Interesting 2 watch"
"Please direct Deadpool @RobertRdz !!!!! I’m not above begging! Thanks!"
"Bottom line about Deadpool film is that if FOX doesn’t pull the DP film together with Ryan Reynolds between GL films-they should Hari Kari"
"Ryan Reynolds is the new Will Smith, if FOX can’t maximize this window of opportunity with this star, this character, that script=MASSV FAIL"
"You have it reversed @GeekTyrant it’s Warners that wants to film back 2 back GL’s and disrupt Deadpool. Not FOX!! Get it right!"
Nice, GeekTyrant. Now he's all worked up. It's going to be impossible to get him down for his nap now. (via Bleeding Cool)
There is the right way, the wrong way, and the Jason Statham way to handle life's problems. To live by the Statham way means kicking as much possible ass with a cool British smokers accent and still not break a sweat. Statham, the former olympic swimming diver, turned mega action star shows that you should never mess with Union Jack in a dark alleyway or street fight. With The Expendables opening this week, Statham shows how a tough guy should act and still keep his cool, remember head butt first and ask questions later, mate.
Highly Debatable Best Role: Chev Chelios in Crank
Weird Fact: Made In The Name Of The King with Uwe Boll at the height of his popularity.
MORE AFTER THE JUMP…
Tami Donaldson, a former 3rd grade school teacher turned Maxim pin up girl, is the prime example of Van Halen's 'Hot For Teacher'. She makes her feature film debut briefly in this month's Middle Men, but she's also known for getting with manhore musician Dave Navaro in her spare time.
A word from Tami: “I’m kind of shy and quiet when I’m out, but in the bedroom I like to be in charge—I like to be the boss.”
So…a lady on the street but a freak in the bed? You're like a dream.
More pics of Tami after the jump…
"No funny stuff, lady."
Josh Brolin is considering letting Charlize Theron ruin his life. I thought Jonah Hex already took care of that, but I guess not. Brolin is up for the role of Charlize's ex-boyfriend in Jason Reitman and Diablo Cody's next collabo Young Adult. If he signs on, Brolin will play the former high school sweetheart to Theron's successful YA author, who she decides to stalk. I hate when statuesque model types try to break themselves off a piece o' this.
The movie is said to have a few humorous moments, but for the most part it will be "pretty serious and f*cked up." Just like that E.T. porno that's been making the rounds. No, I won't link you. Look it up, perv. (Showbiz 411)
Lawrence pictured on Level 4-1 of Super Mario Bros.
Jennifer Lawrence is having a great year. After breaking out in Winter's Bone, she quickly lined up roles in The Beaver and X-Men: First Class. Now she has her sights set on a role in Crazy Heart director Scott Cooper's Lie Down In Darkness.
"I am obsessed with that part. I have this feeling of protectiveness over characters I want to play. I worry about them — if someone else gets the part, I'm afraid they won't do it right."
The former star of "The Bill Engvall Show" goes on to say:
"I'm trying to write the director of 'Lie Down in Darkness' a letter to convince him that I should be in his movie. I'll chase him if I have to. I'll sit outside his house." She laughed. "I'm beside myself over that script. When I get like that, anything's possible."
Ruh-roh. Looks like we've got another Sean Young on our hands. I've already called the police. (W Magazine)
With the release of The Expendables this week, children of the 80s (like me) have many reasons to celebrate. Some of "our generation's" greatest action heroes are returning to the big screen. Not only that, they're bringing with them the kind of action that made us want to be them in the first place. Good old fashion action – the kind with machine guns with grenade launchers attached – the kind with limbs blowing off – the kind with Dolph Lundgren!
With all the stars in this movie (some on the rise, some on the decline), we wanted to look at each Expendable's career highs and lows (and the enormous chasm between) – because for every First Blood, there's a Judge Dredd…
Could we see Zach Galifianakis playing John Belushi in the near future? Possibly. THR has news that Todd Phillips and screenwriter Steven Conrad are developing a biopic about the comic legend at Warner Bros. Nearly thirty years after his death from a drug overdose, Belushi remains one of the most-respected names in comedy due to his classic films, "SNL" characters, and general fearlessness that he poured into his work.
Casting for this needs to be perfect or else the project is sunk. Names like Seth Rogen, Jonah Hill, and Ethan Suplee have been thrown into the mix, but I feel like casting directors need look no further than comedian Sean Patton. This man is his exact double. If we can almost make Donald Glover a Spider-man, we can do this. Here's a clip of Patton killing on Jimmy Fallon:
In the interest of full disclosure, I'm not sure that he can do Belushi's eyebrow thing.
Paramount Pictures has purchased the rights to Last Man Standing, SlashFilm is reporting. No, not the 1996 Bruce Willis flop, but rather the upcoming graphic novel by Daniel LuVisi.
The comic, which isn't due out until September, was purchased from Heavy Metal Publishing, which is owned by Kevin Eastman, co-creator of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. The story chronicles the adventures of Gabriel, a genetically modified super-soldier who is framed as a mass murderer by a terrorist organization.
I don't blame you if your natural inclination is to draw parallels between this story and the current Mel Gibson frame-up we're watching unfold, but the book predates the Gibson incident, so any similarities are purely coincidental.
The Old Spice Guy, a.k.a. Isaiah Mustafa, has parlayed his recent popularity into a budding film career. First, he landed a smaller role in Horrible Bosses. Now comes word that Mustafa has landed a larger role in the upcoming Tyler Perry film, Madea's Big Happy Family.
The film is reportedly a drag queen flick that fetishizes fat old women and strong, supportive black families. Mustafa will co-star alongside Perry, who will play the drag queen in question, and Lil Bow Wow, who will play the guy who is lucky to be working. (Empire Online)
Your story checks out, James. Let's hope you were wrong about Skynet.
If there's one thing I love in this world, it's eating a nice big meal and then heading home to drop a deuce. If there's a second thing I love, it's Avatar. That's why my head almost exploded when I saw this picture. It manages to combine my love of Avatar and my love of defecation in a humorous and timely manner.
For those of you who don't know, the photo is from Uncle John's Bathroom Reader, the Rolls-Royce of bathroom periodicals. This particular page from back in 1999 confirms James Cameron's long held assertion that he had to wait so long to make Avatar because technology had to catch up to his vision. I guess he isn't a pompous windbag after all, at least not in this instance.
Although, as someone on a comment board pointed out, this is James Cameron. He could have easily sent one of his robots back in time to add that page. (Film Drunk)
Someone added the Inception score to this video of a guy getting nailed by an ice cream truck. I'm hoping it was the kick he needed to snap him back to reality so he quits acting like an idiot and dancing in traffic.
Don't get blindsided by these links.
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Bar Refaeli Mossad Bikini Pics (CelebJihad)
The Ladies Will Have To Work Extra Fast At Friday's Strikeforce (CagePotato)
Meet Joseph Gordon-Levitt's Fire-Spinnin' Brother, Dan (PopEater)
Win The Wedding Party Dance Off (MadeMen)
Countdown To 'The Expendables', Day 3: 'Nighthawks' (MovieHopping)
That's not going to put it out, you guys.
What up with Zach Galifianakis's face in this new poster for Due Date? I don't think I've ever seen the man smile. It doesn't even look like he willingly smiled for this picture. The artist must have turned his frown upside down with the "Smile" Photoshop pluggin. You should totally download it.
The best part of the poster is the friggin' adorable French Bulldog. Look at that g.d. thing. I want to smoosh its precious little face until it's mush, which is the main reason I'm on PETA's sh*tlist. (Yahoo)
Paramount has scooped up the rights to the not-yet-published young adult novel Au Revoir, Crazy European Chick. The story follows a high school student who gets stuck with a homely and boring European exchange student who turns out to be secretly hot. And also an assassin.
If that sounds like "Chuck" to you, then you have a promising future in Hollywood. "Chuck" creator Josh Schwartz has been attached to develop the concept. Speaking of Chuck, this sounds a lot like Palahniuk's novel Pygmy. So imagine Pygmy meets I Love You, Beth Cooper, minus the social commentary. And Hayden Panettiere. (Deadline)
Know for lightning quick reflexes and amazing acrobatic stunts, Jet Li is one Expendable not to mess with. While stateside we've seen Li play more of the standard stone cold killer types in War, Romeo Must Die, and Lethal Weapon 4, over in his native China, Li is far more badass. Just check out his amazing work in Once Upon a Time in China, Hero, or Fist of Legend for a good action smack in the teeth.
Highly Debatable Best Role: Wong Fei-hung in Once Upon a Time in China trilogy
Weird Fact: When he was 11-years-old he won a trip to Washington D.C. to meet President Richard Nixon after becoming the Chinese National Champion in Wushu martial arts.
MORE AFTER THE JUMP…
Claudia Jordan, a former "The Price is Right" and "Deal or No Deal" model, shows off her east coast beauty in this month's Middle Men. Her blink or miss it performance doesn't do her justice but you can bet on all your Plinko chips that she'll be showing off her stuff with more projects in the future.
A word from Claudia: "I am the queen head doctor."
I'm going to assume you're referring to psychology and not felatio, only because we're not allowed to discuss the latter in detail on this site.
More pics of Claudia after the jump…
Today the Internet has lovingly delivered us this trailer for HALKa, the Bangladeshi attempt at capturing the legend of the Incredible Hulk. I don't believe that, "Say whaaaaaaaaa?!," begins to cover it.
This trailer tells the classic story of the Hulk's origin: being publicly sodomized with a pick-axe by bullies to the point that Bruce Banner invents an Incredible Hulk potion using beakers and Doogie Howser's computer. He then goes on to fight his greatest enemy, Guy With Bicycle With Guns On It. Whatever, the trailer looks amazing. It's even more trippy than Enter The Void.
Just see for yourself after the jump…
It was rumored last week that Blake Lively was making a play for the role of sexy astronaut in Alfonso Cuaron's Gravity. However, it's been expected that role was Scarlett Johansson's for the taking. Well, now it's official that both ladies are pushing for the part, with reports that they both have tested for the role.
Will this create a rift between the two? Will that rift involve wrestling?? Hopefully. We'll let you know if and when Pay-Per-View tickets for the event go on sale. Gravity is said to be a really ambitious, experimental film that would require a lot from whichever actress lands the part. Neither Johansson or Lively have carried a film of this magnitude to date, but both are ready to step up. Personally, I'm really torn. Either would be super-convincing as an astronaut. (THR)
The Playlist has alerted us to an interview with Mike Tyson that is as candid as you'd expect from the man who once threatened to "f*ck you until you love him." It all came about when Mike wandered into a Las Vegas radio station unexpectedly after a trip to the dentist. If you're familiar with David After The Dentist, you know that you're in for a treat. Here are some of my favorite parts.
On The Hangover:
“I was doing that to supply my drug habit. I’m sorry I’m coming at you guys like this… I said, ‘Wow, This is going to be really good. We’re going to sell this stuff on 42nd street on bootleg and make a lot of money.’ This is my best thinking on drugs… It wasn’t that way. It was an international success."
On becoming a Vegan:
“I became a Vegan. Vegan is where no animal products. No livestock products. Nothing."
On his slow-transformation to vampirism:
"My personal life is so isolated right now. I don’t go anywhere unless I’m invited." (except for when he wanders into radio stations of course. – Ed.)
And on the arduous task of wiping one's butt when weighing 350 lbs:
“It was hard to wipe my butt… I was sweating like some kind of guy from a moon project or something."
Awesome. MTV needs to find a way to get him into the "Jersey Shore" house. (ESPN Radio)
Who says Hollywood is out of ideas? Obviously they haven't seen this picture of Helen Mirren giving Russell Brand the old "rub & tug" on the set of Arthur. In fact, seeing a geriatric Mirren giving Brand a bathtub HJ is the most original thing I've seen in weeks, and mind you, I watch Bravo daily.
The only question is how is Hollywood going to top this? Chances are we'll see Betty White giving an "Asian massage" to the wolf-boy from Twilight sometime soon. "Team Jacob" indeed! (Cinema Blend)
Promos for Conan O'Brien's new show are now airing on TBS, and for hardcore comedy dorks, things are looking up. That's because the ad is very reminiscent of "Monty Python's Flying Circus," specifically, the animated shorts of director Terry Gilliam.
Whether or not the style was intentional is irrelevant. The result is the same either way. Monty Python fans are with Coco. Although that was probably true before the ad, as well. (Cinema Blend)
Watch O'Brien's Pythonesque ad after the jump…