In this parody trailer, a new kind of Hobbit is in town, and it's packin' heat. These little guys will street sweep The Shire and set your punk-ass elf-ass straight at any counsel. This summer, Gandalf brings gangta to Middle Earth.
Check out the Boyz N the Ring after the jump…
There's a clue inside the baby.
The original Girl with the Dragon Tattoo Noomi Rapace has become the new "it" actress in Hollywood. She recently signed on to deliver death alongside Jeremy Renner in Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters, and now she's secured a role in Sherlock Holmes 2. The logline is being kept under wraps, but Noomi is said to be playing a French Gypsy. It is unclear if the role is romantic in nature. One would think Holmes would be smart enough to not trust a Gypsy, but when they cast an evil spell on you at a street fair you can't resist them. It's the only way I can explain the atrocious lamp in my living room. (THR)
Look at the size of that thing!
Here are you weekend links.
An Interview With 'Boardwalk Empire' Creator Terence Winter (TVSquad)
Waldorf-Astoria's School For Doormen Turns Men Into Concierges (Asylum)
My Top 10 Favorite Food Trucks In LA (Ranker)
How To Destroy Your Enemies (HolyTaco)
Josh Brolin Compares 'Jonah Hex' To 'Piranha 3D' (FilmDrunk)
Hooray For Old People! (Maxim)
Tin Lizzie Is The Crack Spot For Sunday Football (BarStoolSports)
6 Predictable Things People Do When A Celebrity Dies (EgoTV)
Milla Jovovich Career Assessment (Pajiba)
"That Guy" Actor Of The Week: Bill Smitroivch (Unreality)
A's Fan Offers Up The Worst Catch Attempt Ever (TotalProSports)
Karaoke Panda Means Serious (Smosh)
Playboy Playmate Tries To Open Plane Door Mid-Flight (BroBible)
Selena Gomez And Taylor Swift Party With Jesuits (CelebJihad)
The Bum Rush Radio Show With UFC Fighter Cole Miller (CagePotato)
50 Cent Has The Gay Community Up In Twitter Arms (PopEater)
The Best Way To Wear A Nano (MadeMan)
The trailer for Country Strong has strummed its way into our Internets, and I seriously think somebody needs to check out Gwyneth Paltrow's Netflix rental history. If The Blind Side and Crazy Heart are on there side-by-side, then I call shenanigans. Between the similarities to those films, and the scenes where people cry so hard they fall on their butts (I counted two), this is such an obvious ploy for an Oscar or a Grammy. In truth, they'd be lucky to get a Razzie for this. Hasn't Sandra Bullock had enough taken from her?
Watch Paltrow do her best Lurleen Lumpkin after the jump…
Sienna Guillory, an British model turned actress and daughter of famed Cuban guitarist Issac Guillory, made a name for herself in her performance as Jill Valentine in Resident Evil: Apocalypse. While the movie is little more than fun, violent schlock, her likeness is uncanny to the popular video game character, and she reprises the role in this week's Resident Evil: Afterlife.
A word from Sienna: "I don’t like my nipples showing. They look like targets."
They could be. Depends on what your guy's in to.
More pics of Sienna after the jump…
Smells like Oscar.
Now that his totally not-staged downward spiral documentary I'm Still Here is playing before audiences, Joaquin Phoenix is ready to get back in the game. He's set to star in Big Shoe, a movie that focuses on a shoe fetishist who is also a talented footwear designer. Which could or could not be gross. On the one hand, it's healthy to be invested in what you do for a living. On the other, I'm proud of that Photoshop I did up above, but I didn't choke-fap while creating it. I save that kind of bahavior for the Girl Gallery. (THR)
40 Movie Speeches In 2 Minutes Mash-Up – Watch more Funny Videos
Do you like John McTiernan's throw pillows? Well do you?!
John McTiernan, the director of Die Hard and Predator, has signed on to Shrapnel, what will be his first film since 2003. The story is about two war veterans who hunt each other in a lethal game of cat and mouse. Evan Daugherty's action-thriller script was on the 2008 Blacklist, and that's even without a warrior alien as part of the cat and mouse plotline.
It'll be nice to see McTiernan back behind the camera, even though his last few films have been way less than Die Hard-y. The director has been busy getting into sh*t with the government over the infamous Anthony Pellicano wiretapping scandal of 2006. His experience is a testament to why you never bug your wife's phone. Or your best friend's wife's phone. Even if her come-hither stares say, "Bug my phone." (Variety)
New footage from Jackass 3D starring Johnny Knoxville, Bam Margera, Steve-O, and Somewhere's Chris Pontius is now available for your cringing pleasure. All you need to do to see it is watch this new Weezer video from their Hurley album. C'mon, do it! You can watch it on 'MUTE' if you prefer after the jump.
Will Ferrell's upcoming film, Casa de mi padre, has unveiled its secret weapon: Mexicans! Gael Garcia Bernal and Diego Luna, both natives of Mexico, have joined the cast of the Spanish language film which producers say will be shot in the style of an “overly dramatic telenovela.”
Considering Bernal was in Y tu mamá tambié and Luna was in Milk, the odds of the film having a homoerotic scene just went through the roof. Couple that with middle-America's current love of all things Mexican, and you've got yourself a guaranteed hit on your hands. (Collider)
Everything Chris Klein Says in "The Legend of Chun Li" from Jeff Rubin on Vimeo.
In all fairness, this IS more entertaining than the movie. In all fairness. (VideoGum)
These links walk through the raindrops.
The Manliest Manly Performances In Football History (ModernMan)
Fall's Worst New Shows (TVSquad)
Burlesque Show Aims To Settle The 'Star Wars' Vs. 'Star Trek' Battle (Asylum)
Top 9 Worst Employee's In Video Game History (Ranker)
Melting Eastern Europe Ice: Alina Kravchenko Pictures (HolyTaco)
Frotcast 13: Machete, Fake Buscemi (FilmDrunk)
Decoding Her Signals (Maxim)
Graffiti Artists Forced To Dance On Camera In Front Of Cops (BarStoolSports)
A Gallery Tribute To National Lampoon Magazine (EgoTV)
F*cking With People: The Movie! (Pajiba)
Mmmm… Delicious Marketing (Unreality)
World's First Wheelchair Double Backflip (TotalProSports)
The 17 Nerdiest Dogs Ever(Smosh)
The 14 Sexiest 3D Magazine Pictorials (BroBible)
Mila Kunis In Black Lake Pics (CelebJihad)
Hot Potato: Sarah McDowd (CagePotato)
Lady Gaga Stole My Daughter's Soul (PopEater)
Best Girls To Lose Your V-Card To (MadeMan)
Devils and demons have possessed the silver screen in many formats, from comedies to cartoons, CGI depictions, psychological thrillers, and fantasy worlds. Yet the most bad-ass, ripsnorting, fire breathing incarnations that we remember are the ones that send chills down our spines. With Devil taking over theaters Friday, I thought I'd compile a list of the 12 most bad-ass Devils in movies. Nothing is better than witnessing your favorite actor playing the ultimate screen villain of old Beelzebub himself. Hail Satan!
Al Pacino as John Milton – The Devil's Advocate
While the movie is just a silly combination of John Grisham novels meets the production designer of Rosemary’s Baby, there's plenty of hot and steamy sex with Connie Nelson and Charlize Theron. Plus Al Pacino plays the devil, so do I really need to say anything more?
Malin Akerman has agreed to move to the desert with Ethan Hawke. In The Numbers Station, Hawke plays a CIA agent protecting Akerman in a desert safehouse. Naturally, the bad guys show up just as Hawke is drafting his letter to Penthouse and the two are forced to fight back. Because that always happens to witnesses in protective custody, no matter how well-hidden they may be. It's Van Damme's Law of Averages. (Variety)
Kacey Barnfield is another hot kettle from the Union Jack, who will be showing up in not just one but two classically bad horror sequels this month, Lake Placid 3 and Resident Evil: Afterlife. This, for me, doesn't matter just as long as I get to have my personal tea time with her soon.
A word from Kacey: "I love playing her, she's quite a selfish person."
More pics after the jump…
Bring it on, witches.
Jeremy Renner recently spoke to Norwegian site Dagsavisen in loud, deliberate speech patterns to explain that he might work for breadcrumbs in Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters. He also stated that original Girl With The Dragon Tattoo, Noomi Rapace, may play his sister and fellow witch hunter for director Tommy Wirkola and producers Adam McKay and Will Ferrell.
There's no official press release yet, so don't consider this a lock. It's about time Renner returned to comedy. He showed such promise in National Lampoon's Senior Trip. (Twitch)
Captain America solicits a prostitute in the English countryside.
New photos from Captain America: The First Avenger have hit the internet, giving a rare glimpse into the much anticipated film. The photos, which were recently shot in London, show the iconic character riding on a World War II era motorcycle. Although Chris Evans has been cast in the role of Cap, his stunt man was driving at the time the photos were taken.
I know a lot of people will be excited for these pictures, but to be honest, the costume looks kind of lame. But it's far too early to make a solid judgment. After all, I thought the initial photos of costumes from Batman and Robin were lame too, and look how that turned out. (Daily Mail via Latino Review)
See more photos from the set of Captain America after the jump…
Good news for people who like giant bouncing boobs! Christina Hendricks' wonderful breasts are joining the cast of Drive. The addition of Hendricks' chest rounds out an all-cast including Ryan Gosling, Chesty Laroo, Bryan Cranston, Tits McGee and Albert Brooks.
The film follows the exploits of a stunt driver who breasts as a getaway driver that boobs mammaries. The film is expected to hit theaters tits bazongas. Boobs. (Collider)
Katy Perry Is a C*cktease Music Video – Watch more Funny Videos
This parody of Katy Perry's "Teenage Dream" music video addresses the frustration all of us males have with the singer. Just show them to us already! They're real and they're spectacular!
These links won't give you blue balls.
10 Movies We Can't Wait To See At Toronto Film Festival (Moviefone)
New Jersey Transit Enforces Quiet Train Cars (Asylum)
Top 30 Hottest Jewish Girls/Sexy Jewish Women Under 40 (Ranker)
25 Crazy Traffic Videos (HolyTaco)
We Found Godard He Was Driving A Hyundai (FilmDrunk)
50 Funniest News Headlines Ever (Maxim)
Nipple Sucking Doctor Busted For Sucking Nipples (BarStoolSports)
A Gallery Of "Meals On Wheels"(EgoTV)
10 TBSiest Movies Of The Last 5 Years (Pajiba)
The Faculty: The Awful Movie That Launched A Thousand Careers (Unreality)
Chick Uses Taser During NASCAR Fan Fight (TotalProSports)
Murderous Dexter Doll Causes Public Outrage (Smosh)
7 Worst Types Of College Professors (BroBible)
Joe Jonas Medals At The Special Olympics (CelebJihad)
The Legend Of The Punch Machine (CagePotato)
Paris Hilton In Mind-Boggling Drug Stash Allegation (PopEater)
$75, 000 A Year Buys You Happiness (MadMan)
Ron Howard might be biting off more than he can chew. The best ginger director working in the business today is teaming up with screenwriter Akiva Goldsman to adapt Stephen King's beloved novel series The Dark Tower into a feature film and television series. He's going to direct everything himself, battle all the haters who say it can't be done, and stave off a nervous breakdown in the process. Ronnie, you be crazy! Deadline has the deets:
The plan is to start with the feature film, and then create a bridge to the second feature with a season of TV episodes. That means the feature cast—and the big star who’ll play Deschain—also has to appear in the TV series before returning to the second film. After that sequel is done, the TV series picks up again, this time focusing on Deschain as a young gunslinger. Those storylines will be informed by a prequel comic book series that King was heavily involved in plotting. The third film would pick up the mature Deshain as he completes his journey. They will benefit from being able to use the same sets cast and crew for the movie and TV, which could help contain costs on what will be a financially ambitious undertaking.
Peter Jackson is sh*tting in his britches right now. I remember when his back-to-back-to-back Lord of the Rings Trilogy was an unprecedented cinematic feat. If Howard's plan comes together it'll put the whole thing to shame. Thanks Jackson, but we don't need your contributions to film anymore. Ronnie's got the medium on lockdown.
The newest trailer for Monsters finally gives us a glimpse of the bad CGI tentacle monsters. Wow. These things have become far more scary than that time that Fred Savage and Howie Mandel fought them. Now I understand what all the fuss is about! Check out these glowing reviews the film has received so far:
"Utterly unique and original." – IGN
"Awesome. The best giant monster movie I've seen in years." – AICN
"Feel good movie of the year." – Japanese Tentacle Rape Fetishist Quarterly
Monsters opens in theaters on October 29th and On-Demand September 24th. Honestly, I can't wait.
Check out the expanded trailer after the jump…
Today we have pics of January Jones as Emma Frost enjoying cantaloupe on the set of Matthew Vaughn's X-Men: First Class. I don't remember the fruit being a huge part of Frost's character in the comics, but maybe Vaughn has taken some artistic liberities. Wookie was also quick to point out that Jones is dressed like Dolph Lundgren's girlfriend in Rocky 4. If there was ever a movie to look to for inspirational costume ideas, it's Rocky 4. My question is, when do we see January in this?
Start shooting those scenes IMMEDIATELY, Vaughn.
More pics of January as Emma after the jump…
You want Bilbo Baggins, Freeman wants a Kit-Kat.
People are talking about The Hobbit again. Yesterday, The Sun reported that New Line and MGM were doing everything short of offering up hookers to land Martin Freeman (The British "The Office") for the role of Bilbo Baggins. We obviously dismissed it because The Sun has as much clout as Highlights Magazine, but now Entertainment Weekly is reporting that the rumors are true. TRUE!
It was at first thought that Freeman declined the offer to star in the inevitable blockbuster due to his committment to the BBC series "Sherlock." Well someone must have screamed some sense in his face because the studios are now working out a deal that would allow him to appear in both projects. If they land the actor, all they'll need to worry about next is money and a director. Those kind of major factors usually fall into place last minute though. Take it from MGM, the studio without a bush to piss in or a lion's den to throw it out of.
As any self-respecting stalker of Helen Mirren can tell you, Hollywood's sexiest old lady has teamed up with Bruce Willis for the upcoming action-thriller type movie, Red. But what they might not know unless they have a Google Alert set up for "hot geriatric ass" is that an excerpt from the film was just released. Luckily, I do, and I'm more than willing to keep you posted on such matters.
In the clip, Mirren and Willis discuss life after retirement. Of course, the pair are retired spies, which makes it a much more interesting conversation than it would be if they had been insurance salesmen, postal employees, etc.
Keep in mind I'm stealing this synopsis from Collider since I can't get the damn video to load on my connection. Up yours, Iola, Kansas public library.
Watch Bruce Willis and Helen Mirren talk some sh*t out after the jump…
The veil has been lifted on Aziz Ansari and Danny McBride's super-secret comedy project. Not 30 Minutes Or Less. We already know about that one. I'm talking about their other comedy project. The comedians are teaming up again for Olympic-Size A**hole. Written by Ansari and Harris Wittels, it's a revenge flick that follows McBride and Ansari as they set out to destroy an Olympic athlete that banged their girlfriends.
The title, Olympic-Size A**hole, may change as it could easily be mistaken for a Lindsay Lohan biopic. (MTV)
Joel McHale is in final talks to star opposite Jessica Alba in Robert Rodriguez's Spy Kids 4. In the sequel, Alba would play a retired spy married to McHale, a spy-hunting reporter. When a nefarious villain returns on the scene, Alba is pulled back into the business. And she takes her stepkids along for the ride.
No word yet on the youngsters that will carry the picture, but if I were the little boy I'd get a jump on the spying by placing webcams in Alba's dressing room. I work method. (Variety)
Matrix-Big Lebowski Mash-Up – Watch more Funny Videos
If there's one guy who will never understand the complexities of The Matrix it's probably The Dude. But that doesn't stop Morpheus from trying. This mash-up beautifully cuts together the two movies to create a hilarious conversation between two characters who live life on completely different plains. Except for their fondness of narcotics. (FilmDrunk)
Reynolds will do your damn scene in a minute.
Robert Schwentke has officially signed on to tell Ryan Reynolds how to hold his gun in R.I.P.D. The director is taking advantage of the buzz he's generated with the upcoming Red starring Bruce Willis and Helen Mirren. He's decided to try the whole action movie thing with a cast that's currently ineligable for a AARP discount.
Reynolds will get right into the role of police officer for the dead after he completes the 20,000 other projects he has lined up. Change-Up is first on the docket, followed by Safe House with Denzel Washington. Shooting will start late next summer on R.I.P.D. Until that time, Schwentke will be following Reynolds around, tapping his foot impatiently and staring at his watch. (Deadline)
“I hate Adam Sandler movies.”
I used to get pissed off when I’d hear someone say that. First of all, it should be “Sandler’s movies,” not “Sandler movies.” Not that I’m a grammar Nazi, but come on! Second, what‘s not to like?
When pressed, most Sandler haters would reply with something along the lines of “his movies are stupid.” Of course they’re stupid. Most comedies are. But Sandler’s don’t pretend to be anything more. If you want something “intellectual,” go whack off to Vicky Cristina Barcelona. I prefer to laugh.
Michael Caine has admitted on record that the only reason he did Jaws: The Revenge was for the money and the free trip to the Bahamas. "I have never seen it, but by all accounts it is terrible. However, I have seen the house that it built, and it is terrific!" So, there's not much surprise that he's agreed to co-star opposite the Rock in the Hawaii-based Journey 2: The Mysterious Island. Plus, he gets to work with Cats & Dogs 2: The Revenge Of Kitty Galore director Brad Peyton. What actor would turn down that opportunity?!
In the film, he'll portray Josh Hutcherson's adventure-seeking granddad who wanders off and winds up on a mysterious island. This will be an action-heavy role for Caine that will see him squaring off against giant bees. If you listen closely, that beeping sound is a dump truck full of money backing up to Oscar-winner Michael Caine's terrific house. (THR)
In a recent interview with MTV, director Reuben Fleischer spoke about a possible sequel to his hit film, Zombieland. While he is currently preoccupied with his latest project, 30 Minutes or Less, Fleischer expressed interest in shooting the second installment in 3D…if he shoots it at all.
When it comes to 3D, I feel pretty strongly that you should shoot it in camera. I feel like it just looks so much better. If you're going to make a 3D movie, go ahead and make a 3D movie. I would definitely, if we do 'Zombieland 2,' make it in 3D and want to shoot it in 3D.
I'm not sure I totally agree with that statement. Clash of the Titans wasn't shot in 3D, and the film looked awesome after the conversion. Of course, I never actually watched the film. I just took a bag of mushrooms and stared at the poster until the theater manager asked me to leave. But still, the scene where Liam Neeson craps in the parking lot is amazing. Or was that me? Either way, great movie. (Dread Central)