Safety first. Hello Kitty second.
Steven Soderbergh is gearing up to offend China. The director has decided to dredge up bad SARS memories by setting his next film Contagion in Hong Kong. Kate Winslet, Jude Law, Matt Damon, and Laurence Fishburne have all signed up to come down with a case of the Hong Kong Achooeys in the virus gone wild drama. Hong Kong native Josie Ho has also signed on to play the sister of "Patient Zero" aka that asshole that never buys his own Chapstick. (THR)
Olivia Thirlby, 2008's It Girl (non-Kat Dennings version), will be joining Karl Urban when he shoves his gavel up bad guys' butts in the Judge Dredd reboot. Thirlby is best known for her turns in Juno and The Wackness. It looks like she's attempting to break into bigger, less-shoe gazey projects between this and The Darkest Hour. In other words, momma wants a pool.
For Dredd, she will play a young telepath who shadows Dredd on his beat. C'mon, do you really need to read minds to know where he's sticking that gavel? (Up butts.) (Variety)
Your band's new album cover.
I don't want to get you too excited this early in the morning, but Liam Neeson is going to take on wolves. Bradley Cooper jumped ship on Joe Carnahan's forthcoming directorial effort The Grey, and his A-Team co-star Neeson has taken his place. The film is about "a group of Alaska pipeline workers whose plane crash lands on their way back ome from a remote worksite. The workers then find themselves hunted by a pack of wolves."
Are you kidding me? When can I buy my ticket?! Liam Neeson mopping the floor with Frenchmen in Taken was tantilizing enough, but now he's actually going head-to-head with wolves? Mother Nature better shave her legs 'cause she's about to get f*cked. (/Film)
Emma Bell has been cast as the protagonist that pisses off Death in 5nal Destination or Final Destination 5 or Final De5tination or whatever they decide to call it. Which begs the question, who is Emma Bell? Well, she's best known as the girl who gets stuck in the chairlift in Frozen, and is also a castmember in Frank Darabont's highly-anticipated "The Walking Dead." For Destination, she'll be the one suffering from dizzy spells that show her oblique clues about which grisly death will befall David Koechner. That and she'll be the one who points her thumb at Tony Todd's returning mortician character and asks the audience, "What's that guy's deal? Cuckoo!!" (JoBlo)
M. Night Shyamalan claims the question fans ask him the most is if he is doing a sequel to Unbreakable. He also claims that at one point, he had a great idea for said sequel ready to go. Unfortunately, that idea was broken up and sold for scrap.
“It was such a cool idea for a villain, and it was actually originally in the script for 'Unbreakable,' and it was too much. There were too many villains, so I pulled this villain out and was like, 'I'll make this the second flick.'” He even started developing it into a sequel story. But now he says, “the third 'Night Chronicles' movie is what would have been the sequel [to 'Unbreakable']. So now I need to come up with a new idea.”
Recently, Shyamalan's had a streak of box-office flops, so it'd be easy to join the crowd of detractors. At the moment, it also happens to be 3:28 AM, so I'm more than happy to take the easy route.
If he's making flop after flop after flop, but fans are still expressing interest in Unbreakable 2, why in the world would he cannibalize his "great idea" for a sequel and make it into a film that no one cares about? That makes about as much sense as the plot from Signs. God killed the preacher's wife so her last words could inspire her brother-in-law to kill Aliens with a baseball bat and some friggen water? Why not just skip the wife killing and not send the damn aliens in the first place, god? "Swing away" my ass. (MTV via Cinema Blend)
Look at that grin on April O'Neil's face.
Will 'Machete' Ignite a Firestorm Over Its Immigration Stance? (Moviefone)
New 'Rap Map' Shows Geography Of Great Moments In Rap (Asylum)
13 Most Epic Police FAILS Of All Time (Ranker)
The Upside Of Being Homeless (HolyTaco)
I Thought Sean Penn Was In Haiti? (FilmDrunk)
It's 9.02.10 Day (Maxim)
Only In Japan Can You Take Your Virtual Girlfriend On Honeymoons (BarStoolSports)
A Gallery Of Banksy Wall Art (EgoTV)
We've Got To Fight The Powers That Be (Pajiba)
Executing The Rocket Jump In Real Life (Unreality)
9 Colleges With The Hottest Sports Fans (TotalProSports)
Road Rage Revenge (Smosh)
10 Great 'Minute To Win-It'- Inspired Drinking Games (BroBible)
Blake Lively Epic Cleavage Pics (CelebJihad)
James 'Half-a-Milly' Toney Gets The Last Laugh (CagePotato)
See Olivia Munn's Sexy GQ Photo Shoot (PopEater)
Samsung Galaxy Tab (MadeMan)
Q&A With French Badass Actor Vincent Cassel (Moviehopping)
I'm not a big fan of ruining movies for myself by watching clips, but I'm glad I sucked it up and hit play on this new one for Let Me In. Now I for seriously can't wait to check out this film at Fantastic Fest. I know a few of you out there are pissed that they remade the Swedish version, but c'mon, it's got Richard Jenkins in it. The man can do no wrong. Except for Say It Isn't So, and even in that film he's covered in bees WAY better than Nic Cage ever was.
Take a look at the clip after the jump and see if it changes your skeptical mind…
Last week, Screen Junkies and Break scored some sweet, sweet hangin' time with Machete stars Danny Trejo and Michelle Rodriguez, and director Robert Rodriguez, at an international press junket. FX guru and filmmaker Freddie W. put together a scene that starts out simple enough with everyone taking some bad-ass pics for the cameras, but then quickly takes a dark turn once Michelle's strength is brought into question. In my opinion, this is the way all press junkets should end. Although, I'm sure the hotel staff would vehemently disagree.
Check out the video below…
Scarves = Happiness.
In an effort to collect a handful of "Free Sex" coupons, Jon Hamm could star in his long time girlfriend Jennifer Westfeldt's next directorial effort, Friends With Kids. They haven't officially kissed on it, but a deal is reportedly in the works. The names Anne Hathaway and Kristen Wiig are also floating around the project, but again, no spit handshakes.
Another thing that isn't known is what the film is about, except that it'll probably focus on someone's friends who have kids. They could be young kids. They could be old kids. "Friends" might used in a sarcastic way, so that it really mean enemies. Same goes for kids. The movie could be about enemies with adults. But one thing is for certain — if it happens, Jon Hamm will be in it. (ThePlaylist)
On Monday, we reported that Lauren German, Kristin Kreuk, and Paula Patton were in contention for the sexy female role in Mission: Impossible 4. Well Paula Patton has emerged victorious! The Deja Vu star will play a young operative who works with Ethan Hunt.
Tom Cruise will reprise his role as Hunt, but Paramount doesn't want to make a big deal about his involvement. He was the cat's meow back when the first movie launched, but now he's that guy you dread having lunch with simply to maintain the relationship. Maybe M:I 4 director Brad Bird can elevate his status back to Top Gun levels. That is if co-star Jeremy Renner doesn't steal the spotlight. Oh how that would anger Cruise so. Couch-stomping mad. (Deadline)
"Follow me if you want to live!!!"
There's a video going around the Internet that depicts a young woman gleefully throwing newborn puppies into a raging river. Seeing as the Internet is comprised of 80% adorable puppies, that sh*t just don't fly. Michael Bay took time out of his busy schedule of writing terse letters, to write a terse letter damning the puppy-thrower, while placing a bounty on her head:
There is a disturbing video going around the news outlets. It’s a video of blonde young woman in a red sweatshirt casually tossing squealing puppies into the fast-moving river one by one.
Michael Bay has informed me that he is offering a $50,000 reward for information leading to the arrest and successful prosecution of the woman in the red sweatshirt and the person who shot this act of cruelty.
And now it's time to pay up. 4chan was already on the case and managed to gather everything there is to know about the young woman, including her name, phone number, address, school address, email address, Facebook profile, and Volleyball team info (?). Good job, Internet. Too bad 4chan users are anonymous and can't outright accept the money. Michael Bay, you can leave that $50K in the newspaper box on the northeast corner of Wilshire Blvd and N. Arnaz Drive. It will make its way into the right hands.
As if that weren't a sweet enough payout, I would like to up the ante by personally offering a heartfelt pat on the back to the first person who ties the culprits to a chair and force feeds them a bag of cement mix. (WWTDD)
We all know that millions of young minds will be permanently damaged by Michael Bay's Transformers 3. But usually, the causalities don't start rolling in until after the film hits theaters. However, it seems this installment of the Transformers trilogy has already claimed its first victim.
Authorities say the "Transformers 3" crew was filming late Wednesday in the Chicago suburb of Hammond, Ind., using several vehicles and drivers. Police say something went wrong and an object went through the windshield of a car, hitting the driver. In a statement, police said the vehicle kept going for a mile before stopping. Police did not release the driver's name. The person was airlifted to a hospital.
For the love of God, the film hasn't even reached post production, and people are already being hospitalized. Although based on the description, this might make for one hell of a 3D experience. Even so, we wish the extra a speedy recovery, and pray for an end to the senseless cycle of violence that is the Transformers franchise. (HitFix)
If there's one thing he loves more than stealing babies, it's cleaning.
Ghostbust these links.
10 Beloved Movies That Started As Box-Office Disappointments (Moviefone)
Documentary Spotlights Lost Sport Of Pigeon-Racing (Asylum)
14 Most Brutal College Hazing Rituals (Ranker)
Things We Learned At The 2010 Fan Expo (HolyTaco)
Paul Hogan Is The Australian Wesley Snipes (FilmDrunk)
The Briefcase Bar (Maxim)
Women Dies After Getting Stuck IN Ex-Boyfriend's Chimney (BarStoolSports)
Fad-Tastic! The Starter Jacket (EgoTV)
Your Suffering Will Be Legendary With The 'Hellraiser' Series (Pajiba)
Scott Pilgrim Versus Everything (Unreality)
9 Most Embarrassing Sports Celebrity Endorsements (TotalProSports)
24 Hilarious Cubicle Pranks (Smosh)
5 Keys To Hooking Up With Incoming Freshmen (BroBible)
Cheryl Tweedy Official 2011 Calendar (CelebJihad)
At The Crossroads In His Career, BJ Penn Is Back In Training Again (CagePotato)
New MILF Pics Of Demi Moore (PopEater)
Musical iCupholders (MadeMan)
"That dog musta been sick."
Here's the first look from Peter Berg's perplexing Battleship adaptation of Rihanna dressed like one of those guys that hang out at the mall trying to recruit poor people into combat. I still find it really odd that she joined the cast, which includes Taylor Kitsch, Brooklyn Decker, and Alexander Skarsgard. Then again, I find it really odd this movie is being made. But what strikes me as most odd is this thing standing next to Rihanna. Didn't E.T. dress up as that once?
Zach Galifianakis's brother, Seth, takes over for him in this episode of "Between Two Ferns" with guest Sean Penn. The video confirms my belief that Penn is incapable of smiling, and possibly even feeling joy. Maybe I'm wrong though. Maybe the blooper reel is full of Penn rolling on the floor laughing his ass off and his stoic persona is built through the magic of editing. But there's no denying that the ferns look scared sh*tless.
Check out the interview after the jump…
Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson's slow transformation into Brendan Fraser is nearly complete. The wrestler-turned-actor (Walking Tall, Southland Tales, Chef Boyardee commercials) has signed on as the lead in the upcoming Journey To The Center Of Earth sequel. Many expected that Josh Hutcherson would make the leap to leading man for Journey 2: The Mysterious Island, but it seems that he's riding shotgun this time around.
In the film, Johnson plays Hutcherson's mom's boyfriend who tags along for the exhilirating adventure when the boy travels to an unchartered island to find his missing grandfather. Seems like a lot of trouble. Did you check the local A&P, Josh? That's the first place I look when my granddad wanders. (THR)
Quick! Crawl to the hatch!
Here are today's links.
Look! It's Young Ryan Seacrest Acting On ' Beverly Hills 90210' (TVSquad)
Soon The MTA Will Be Watching You (Asylum)
Companies With The Worst Customer Service (Ranker)
25 Mascot Fail Videos (HolyTaco)
Piranha 3D Producer Issues Response To James Cameron (FilmDrunk)
21 Awesomely Pimped Out Golf Carts (Maxim)
Four Loko Bursting On The Scene (BarStoolSports)
7 Celebrity Sex Tapes That I Would Actually Buy (EgoTV)
Viagra For Dick Jokes: The Enduring Of Judd Apatow (Pajiba)
Leonardo The Crybaby (Unreality)
9 Of The Greatest College Stadiums For Tailgating (TotalProSports)
25 Awesome Motorcycle Helmets (Smosh)
Coed College Dorms And Bathrooms (BroBible)
Taylor Lautner Responds To Push Up Challenge (CelebJihad)
Jens Pulver's New Movie Is Going To have Grown Men Crying (CagePotato)
Is Lauryn Hill's Return For The Better? (PopEater)
Skydive Everest (MadeMan)
Claiming dominion over all things aquatic or 3D, James Cameron went all king of the world on Piranha 3D last week, and now the film's producer Mark Canton (who looks like what would happen if Phil Spector banged Albert Brooks) is showing his teeth in response. And he raises a few damn good points! Though, they are lengthy points. Here's just a few favorites, but I encourage you to check out the entire response after jump. Go on wit yo' bad self, Mark Canton:
“Mr. Cameron, who singles himself out to be a visionary of movie-making, seems to have a small vision regarding any motion pictures that are not his own. It is amazing that in the movie-making process – which is certainly a team sport – that Cameron consistently celebrates himself out as though he is a team of one. His comments are ridiculous, self-serving and insulting to those of us who are not caught up in serving his ego and his rhetoric."
"Shame on you for thinking that genre movies and the real maestros like Roger Corman and his collaborators are any less auteur or impactful in the history of cinema than you. Martin Scorcese made Boxcar Bertha at the beginning of his career. And Francis Ford Coppola made Dimentia [sic] 13 back in 1963. And those are just a few examples of the talented and successful filmmakers whose roots are in genre films. Who are you to impugn any genre film or its creators?"
And now… fighting words:
“Jim, are you kidding or what? First of all, let’s start by you accepting the fact that you were the original director of PIRANHA 2 and you were fired."
(Runs around in exaggerated circle playfully slapping own face a la early Martin Lawrence)
No. He. Didn't. Don't MAKE a James Cameron take off his earrings!!
Full letter after the jump…
Watch out Andrew WK. It looks like Conan the Barbarian is getting into the partying hard business. These set photos from Marcus Nispel's remake show Jason Momoa's Conan cutting loose like some weird Charlie Sheen/Tom Sizemore hybrid partybeast. Mead-chugging. Shirtless piggyback rides. Bare breasts. This must be how Hugh Hefner partied when he was a boy in ancient Greece.
Momoa is an animal! Could we have a contender for that Belushi biopic?
Check out the Cimmerian orgy after the jump…
Here's a little pick-me-up for your Tuesday afternoon. It's a montage of dance scenes from almost 40 films set to Kenny Loggins's "Footloose." If this video doesn't make you tap your feet under your desk than your depression is far more advanced than any of us realized. Go do some pelvic thrusts and I promise you'll be right as rain.
Get ready to cut loose after the jump…
MTV has dropped the first clip from Mark Romanek's upcoming Never Let Me Go. The film stars Keira Knightley, Carey Mulligan, and Andrew Garfield as young adults at a boarding school that is doing more than instilling proper etiquette. To give away anymore would be giving away too much. But if you watch the trailer you can probably figure out what's in store for the kids.
In the clip, Keira Knightley, in so many words, tells Carey Mulligan to stay away from her man (Andrew Garfield). She found Carey's porn and laughed at it with Andrew, which is totally not cool. But then she kisses her, so that makes it cool again.
Never Let Me Go hits theaters September 15, 2010.
Check out the clip after the jump…
Shaq will be making a cameo as himself in Adam Sandler's new film Jack & Jill. The recently-aquired Boston Celtics center is no stranger to playing Shaq in films. In fact, I imagine he prefers it to a genie or Iron Man rip-off superhero. Shaq has played Shaq in CB4, Good Burger, He Got Game, After the Sunset, The Kid & I, The House Bunny, and When in Rome. No one captures the essence of Shaq like Shaq can, which is why Sandler came to him for the Shaq role in his new comedy.
Regarding the film, Adam Sandler plays twins and one of them is a girl. Do I really need to go into anymore detail or have your eyes permanently rolled into the back of your skull? Shaq joins Katie Holmes and Al Pacino, who have already agreed to take a check for appearing in this inevitable sh*t sandwich. And don't get all pissed at me about Sandler. I used to love the guy in Happy Gilmore and Billy Madison, but Grown Ups really took a toll on my emotional psyche. Never have I wanted an actor to devolve so badly and return to speaking gibberish. (TheWrap)
Character actor extraordinaire Danny Trejo is back (for about the 30th time this year) in the Mexploitation movie Machete. A lot of his movie roles have reflected his life with drugs, boxing, and prison. He might have the largest character résumé in Hollywood today.
Rising stars Teresa Palmer and Joel Edgerton are returning to Australia for some reason. The actors have signed on for the Australian film Say Nothing. They star as a young couple who keep their traps shut after their friend goes missing during a group vacation to South East Asia. It took some time, but I'm glad they finally got around to making a less-talky version of Say Anything. If the silent boombox scene doesn't melt your heart, you're black inside. (Moviehole)
Earlier this year, when the producers of Final Destination 5 supposedly changed the film's title to 5nal Destination, the Internet was quick to rebuke the decision. After all, how could anyone pick such a stupid title (unless, of course, they were looking for a week's worth of free publicity provided by easily outraged Internet dorks like myself).
But time heals all wounds, and the producers have gone a long way toward reconciling with the Internet crowd thanks to the addition of David Koechner to the cast.
Best known for his comedic roles, Koechner was featured in Anchorman, "The Office," and is currently involved with Adult Swim's hilarious live-action comedy, "Children's Hospital." He has also provided comic relief in a previous horror film, Snakes on a Plane. That being said, he better be channeling the ghost of Richard Pryor if he's going to save this film from the Grim Reaper. (Bloody Disgusting via Empire Online)
Jonathan Liebesman will direct Clash of the Titans II, Coming Soon is reporting. Liebesman, who also directed the upcoming Battle: Los Angeles, will most likely be joined by Sam Worthington and Gemma Arterton, who both starred in the first installment. Unlike the first film, which was retrofitted, the sequel will be shot entirely in 3D. Also, unlike the first film, Clash of the Titans II will supposedly have a plot mapped out before shooting begins.
(Spoiler Alert) Hopefully this sequel will avoid some of the pitfalls of its predecessor. For example, one of the worst scenes from Clash of the Titans was the ending, when Zeus randomly resurrected a character who had died earlier in the film. Resurrection? Talk about an unbelievable cop out? No wonder no one worships Zeus anymore.
Sure, the grammar is incorrect, but the fail is spot on.
Here are your form-fitting links.
Critic Vs. Critic: Is The Internet Good Or Bad For Movie Criticism? (Moviefone)
Porn Judge's Case Not Looking So Hot (Asylum)
30 Greatest On-Stage Falls Of All Time (Ranker)
25 Cosplay Girls From Fan Expo 2010 (HolyTaco)
'The Pacific' Sells 3D Battle Of Midway Pitch (FilmDrunk)
Clooney-Off: Jack VS. Jack Foley (Maxim)
Girl Busts Her Ass Sliding Down A Rail (BarStoolSports)
7 Ways To Make The Red Carpet More Interesting (EgoTV)
So Damn Sure Of Ourselves, Aren't We? (Pajiba)
What Do These Two Ladies Have In Common (Unreality)
Now This Is A Goal Line Stand! (TotalProSports)
23 Clever Ways To Wear Duct Tape (Smosh)
Best Boobs On TV: Christina Hendricks Vs. Sofia Vergara (BroBible)
Vanessa Hudgens Claims TO Pwn Noobs (CelebJihad)
'Never Back Down 2' In The Works? (CagePotato)
'True Blood' Cast Dumps HBO For 'Mad Men' Bash (PopEater)
Deep Fried Beer And Frozen Beer (MadeMan)
The guys who produced the whimsical, yet tragic, Total Recall: The Musical are back with two new productions that'll have you cheering in your box seats. Robocop: The Musical and Terminator 2: The Opera are probably my favorite renditions thus far by Jon and Al. They've managed to keep both of the videos under four minutes, so they don't overstay their welcome. If they could stage a live production these guys would take Broadway by storm. (ToplessRobot)
Check out the musicals after the jump…
David Slade would be wise not to decorate his home office with Wolverine action figures just yet. Though it was believed that the helmer of Hard Candy and assorted vampire movies was a shoe-in for the Wolverine Goes To Japan directing gig, a new contendor has emerged. Granted, he's a highly-unlikely candidate, but Darren Aronofsky's hat has somehow been thrown into the ring. Whether he threw that hat himself, or some neighbor kid bully threw it in the ring just to be a jerk remains to be seen.
Given Aronofsky's body of work, I'm going to go ahead and rule him out. The X-Men films have been twisted into goofy, popcorn wannabe-action films, and Wolverine is no exception. Though if anyone could lend some gravity to the material, it's Aronofsky. Look what he did for Marlon Wayans. (Deadline)
Now that Jeremy Renner has been cast to distract from the fact that box office poison Tom Cruise is appearing in Mission: Impossible 4, it's time to figure out which skinny actress will be running around and firing Uzi's that somehow don't shatter her wrist. And the contenders are Hostel 2's Lauren German, Streetfighter's Kristin Kreuk, and Alan Thicke's daughter-in-law Paula Patton.
The three actresses are all testing for the role of a female operative in the Brad Bird-helmed sequel. Nothing more is known about the character beyond that description, but let's assume she will wear a leather bodysuit. All the best spies do. (Deadline)