This can only end poorly.
Paul Haggis seems to be getting a lot of work despite telling Scientology to back the eff off. Not one to rest on the laurels of writing The Equalizer for the big screen, Paul Haggis is now looking to adapt the Spanish film Celda 211. The film tells the story of a rookie prison guard who, mistaken for a prisoner, is locked in with the inmates during a riot. To survive, he needs to pose as a prisoner and befriend the uprising's leader. Then he has to lie and say he enjoyed Crash. Nobody said prison was easy.
The deal is not in place yet, but the idea is to have Haggis write and possibly direct. He's untested as a director in the action genre, so it may be a good idea to see how his recent The Next Three Days plays out before stitching his name on the back of the tall chair. The last thing you want to do is sew through canvas twice. (Deadline)
We have no idea what it's about or who will be in it, but Judd Apatow's next directorial effort will hit theaters June 1, 2012. That leaves him less than 20 months to finish the script and work out scheduling conflicts for Seth Rogen, Jason Segal, Jonah Hill, Paul Rudd, Martin Starr, Romany Malco, Elizabeth Banks, Jay Baruchel, and wife, Leslie Mann. Unfortunately the guy from 40-Year-Old Virgin who in real life stabbed his wife to death is unavailable due to his jail sentence. (Deadline)
The official title of Mission: Impossible 4 is Mission: Impossible – Ghost Protocol, and no, Tom Clancy's name does not preceed that. Stars Tom Cruise, Jeremy Renner, Paula Patton and director Brad Bird announced the news at a press conference in Dubai. They also said they'll be doing a lot of filming in Dubai, including on the world's tallest building, Burj Khalifa. Said Tom Cruise, "I’ll be spending many days, many hours on the side of this building, I can’t give you details, but I will be up there." Not sure if his being up there has to do with the movie, or that he heard Katie was on the ground looking for him. (Collider)
For those worried that the last bit of blood had been squeezed out of the zombie stone, you can stop worrying. It has. The novel Play Dead has been optioned to be a movie we don't need. It tells the story of a high school football team who is murdered by the competition. Luckily, a local witch is a huge fan of the team and resurrects them. Mark Canton, producer of Land Of The Dead, has bought the rights and hired Joe Schreiber to write.
So, it's come to that. A zombie football movie. A bunch of stiff-legged, slow-paced, uncoordinated, brain dead players ambling up and down the field. If the filmmakers are trying to save a dime, they should just edit in footage of the Buffalo Bills. (Variety)
That's not morning wood you're sporting. It's an excitement boner from laying eyes on this first official pic of Chris Evans in his tight, slick Captain America costume from the new issue of EW. Look at him with his star and shield and strappy thingies. He's like a cigar store Indian without the headdress, and more patriotic rags. I'm sure we'll see a teaser trailer soon, as the movie hits theaters July 22, 2011, but for now you'll have to do with just the pic, like old school Internet porn days.
Outside of a child/parent scenario, fans of "The Wire" don't usually intermingle with fans of the Twilight films. Well that's all about to change. Actually, it probably won't change at all, but fans of "The Wire" might be interested in the fact that Wendell Pierce (a.k.a. "Bunk" Moreland) will appear in Twilight: Breaking Dawn. Then again, probably not.
I haven't been this excited since Pierce made a cameo on "Tim and Eric." Besides, I think it makes sense to have a homicide detective in a film about the undead…right? Either way, I'm not going to watch. Sorry, Bunk. (Empire Online)
Now that Spider-Man has a love interest and a reptilian nemesis, it's time to figure out who will play his comically gruff boss. J.K. Simmons owned the role of J. Jonah Jameson in Sam Raimi's Spidey films, but won't be returning for the high school-based reboot. Which means Hollywood's silverhairs are all up for the part.
It's reported that a dozen or so actors are being discussed for the part (which will inevitably go to Liam Neeson, everything goes to Liam Neeson), including "Mad Men's" John Slattery and every cowboy movie ever's Sam Elliott. Hopefully the search will continue because I can't see either of these guys in the role. Slattery's too pretty and Sam Elliott's moustache (though awesome) is just too much for this film to handle. Personally, I'd like to see Mel Gibson in the role. He's looking to trick us into liking him again and dude is seriously good at yelling. Like Olympics good at it.
Until next time true believers, when we'll figure out who the hell is going to play Robbie. Stay near a phone guy who played Marcus on "Alias." (What's Playing)
I'm not exactly a weapons expert, nor do I know the first thing about armed combat. To make matters worse, I know next to nothing when it comes to protecting myself during an alien invasion. But what I do know is that if a creature that's as big as my apartment complex wants to pick a fight, I'm probably not going to stick around and throw down, especially if my only weapon is a handgun. But that sort of logic won't get your very far in this new Skyline clip, and it's probably for the best since the scene still looks pretty badass. (Dread Central)
Watch some dude shoot spit-wads at a giant alien after the jump…
Technically he's Scott the Body Piercer from Father's Day, but we didn't need to see it again in The Hangover 2. Did I just blow your mind, or did you actually remember Father's Day? Thanks to Benji C. for the hookup.
These links are permanent.
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Zach Galifianakis, everyone's favorite bearded comedian at the moment, is in talks to appear in the upcoming Muppet movie as a person, even though he looks a helluva lot like Fozzy Bear. Robert Downey Jr. dropped the casting news during a press interview for Due Date. That Downey. He's incorrigable.
Galifianakis would join Jason Segel, Amy Adams, Rashida Jones, and Chris Cooper, who have all already been cast. The new film, directed by James Bobin, will "take place within a showbiz setting and follow the Muppets as they try to save their studio from a greedy oil baron (Cooper) who wants to dig for oil. Segel is set to play the lead who reunites the Muppets for one last show to save the studio; Adams is his girlfriend, while Jones will play an ABC executive." No word yet on what Galifianakis would play. Maybe a film director. It's time he put that beard to good use. (ThePlaylist)
Robert Downey, Jr. is cool with the news that Disney will release his next Iron Man movie. Disney is exercising their control of Marvel to release Iron Man 3 and The Avengers. At a press conference for his latest film, Due Date, Downey was enthusiastic about the Marvel developments.
“Love it!” Downey exclaimed. “What’s that mean?”
More after the jump…
Despite being embroiled in a metric ass ton of legal trouble, Wesley Snipes has one tale that he still needs to tell. Snipes has begun shooting Karate Dad Master Daddy. Whatever that means. He describes it as a multi-racial action comedy that is a combination of Kung Fu Hustle and Meet The Parents. Once again, whatever that means.
The real news is that the film will happen around Chuck Norris (Chuck Norris does not appear in films, films appear around him). Snipes is also pulling a Sly Stallone and getting a bunch of irrelevant action stars on board. The other karate dudes who agreed to take part are Chiba, Frazier, Gracie, Hung, Inosanto, Jaa, Rhee, Kim, Lee Mosely, Bob Wall, Rampage, Anderson Silva, and Ron Van Cleff. Dance crews Rock Steady, Jabbawakkies, and Quest Crew will also appear. That's a good start, but you'll need to assemble a much larger army of fighters and streets-stepper-upper-2ers if you hope to defeat Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris doesn't step up 2 da streets. The streets rise to meet his foot. (Variety)
Whitney Able won’t be raking in any significant critical acclaim for her on-screen achievements this year, but she might just make her way into the pretty-girl rankings of some of our favorite lads mags. Cover girl, slasher star, and leading lady in the soon-to-be-released sci-fi thriller Monsters, Able was counted among Maxim’s most beautiful women in 2008. Maybe it’s too early to start the nomination process, but we’ll go ahead and give her our nod for a second appearance now.
A word from Whitney: "That song 'Ramble On' was my jam for a minute there."
More pics of Whitney after the jump…
Universal has dropped the trailer for the James Cameron-produced 3D cave disaster movie Sanctum. This film contains three of Cameron's favorite things: water, tight spaces, and 3D. No wonder he wanted his name on it even if he probably really didn't do anything to aid production.
Michael Jackson has made more money dead than you or I will ever make alive, and now his estate will rake in a few additional loads of cheddar. GK Films is in negotiations to acquire a package for a film that will turn Jackson's hit song Thriller into a big screen blockbuster smash hit bonanza. Kenny Ortega, who directed This Is It… (which was clearly a lie), will also direct Thriller. The Hangover writer Jeremy Garelick will take scripting duties.
Deadline reports that the plot is being kept under wraps, but "it has to do with the song's folklore, involving Vincent Price and the town he grew up in." What? You take a song with an awesome video involving zombies and werewolves and you turn it into a Vincent Price biopic? Piece of advice, money men. Don't blow a boatload of cash on a Michael Jackson project about Vincent Price. I'm sure the Price estate would give you his anecdotes in exchange for a nice Sunday sit down dinner.
Cameron pushes through a minor stroke.
We knew it was too good to be true. James Cameron has been wooed away from the 3D epic Cleopatra starring Angelina Jolie. Fox made a "huge" donation to Cameron's environmental fund in order to get him to commit to Avatar 2 and Avatar 3 as his next films.
This will tie him up through 2015 at minimum. Seeing how it takes him three years to put his shoes on, it's unlikely he'll expand the lush digital world he aims to capture. The plan as of right now is to have him start scripting early next year to get Avatar 2 in theaters by December 2014. He'll decide whether he wants to shoot the sequels back-to-back once scripting is complete. So get ready for Avatar to stay in the news cycle for a long time to come. As well as reports of Angelina Jolie kicking drums of oil into Cameron's beloved ocean. (Deadline)
No, you keep missing it.
Christopher Nolan has revealed to Hero Complex that the title of his third Batman film will be The Dark Knight Rises. I'll give you a minute to clean the crap out of your undies. He also revealed that The Riddler will not terrorize Gotham in the film. Okay, clean the rest. Gosh, you're as excitable as a poodle.
Nolan also noted, "We'll use many of the same characters as we have all along, and we'll be introducing some new ones." So he's not revolutionizing the sequel as we know it in cinema. Warner Bros. has also been convinced that IMAX rather than 3D would be a better way to go with the film. I'm not certain why they aren't considering both, but apparently more news on that will be revealed later today. Honestly WB, you could charge $50 a ticket and people would pay it. Well, not poor people, but they don't deserve blockbuster entertainment anyway. (via /Film)
Christopher McQuarrie, the proposed screenwriter for Top Gun 2, says there will be no sequel in which Maverick is not in the starring role. The comments come just days after director Tony Scott suggested the film would focus on younger pilots, a move that would seem to diminish the role of Tom Cruise's famous character from the original film.
Regardless of whether Cruise stars in the film, we've yet to hear what role Anthony Edwards will play. Might I suggest "Moose," the lovable twin brother of "Goose," who meets Maverick while searching for a lost treasure map hidden in his dead brother's helmet. It's just a suggestion. Take it or leave it. (Vulture via /Film)
Shocking news out of Hollywood this morning. Eugene Levy has accepted a role in a real movie, not just another American Pie spin-off film. The movie, however, does star Seann William Scott. Baby steps.
Levy has joined Goon, the indie hockey comedy about a bouncer who joins a crappy hockey team after being "touched by the fist of God." Usually you need to pay top dollar in Brazil for one of those. Anyway, the film also stars Liev Schreiber, Alison Pill, and Jay Baruchel (who also co-wrote with Evan Goldberg). The script is based off the book Goon: The True Story Of The Unlikely Journey Into Minor League Hockey. I'm sorry. I tried to read that last sentence, but all I got was Canada: Canada Canada Canada Canada Canada Canada Canada Canada Canada Canada Canada. (Variety)
New Zealand’s national nightmare is finally over! After day-long negotiations with government leaders, Warner Bros. has agreed to keep the island nation as the filming location for Peter Jackson's upcoming production of The Hobbit. Earlier this year, when a dispute arose with local unions, the studio threatened to abandon New Zealand as a shooting location. But this latest deal, which included millions of dollars in concessions for Warner Bros., will ensure the $500 billion project stays put.
I, for one, am totally relieved now that a compromise has been reached. Since the original Lord of the Rings trilogy was shot in New Zealand, moving the prequel’s production to Eastern Europe would have been a disaster. The trees in the background would have been completely different! Does Warner Bros. think we can’t tell the difference between a Rimu in New Zealand and a Common Oak or Black Alder tree in Poland? Well they are complete fools if they do think that! Fools, I tell you! (Deadline)
Darren Aronofsky is a busy, busy bee. Not only is he set to start production on Wolverine 2 in a matter of months, but now the director has signed on for cybernetic thriller Machine Man. He'll reteam with Black Swan co-writer Mark Heyman on the script. THR has the deets:
Described as an "amped up pop-thriller," the story centers on a gadget geek and engineer at a forward thinking tech firm who is tired of going through life average and unnoticed and is also obsessed with his own self improvement. He decides to replace his weak, fleshy parts with high-end titanium performance upgrades of his own design but then discovers other entities have designs on him for their own motives.
So…kind of like a Robocop/Wolverine mash-up? Aronofsky is really loving the melding of flesh and steel lately. If he doesn't get his fix quick, we could have another Terminator sequel on our hands. And need I remind you, Schwarzenegger will be out of the Governor's office and begging for a job within months.
The original Planet of the Apes rode on the then-groundbreaking makeup effects and a shocker ending. The 2001 “re-imagining” tried to right on action and special effects. The latest version…
Tower Heist keeps inching closer to becoming a movie by picking up talent left and right. Matthew Broderick is now on board to play a Wall Street suit who joins Ben Stiller in the plot to get revenge against Alan Alda's Madoff-like character. Fake documentarian Casey Affleck is also joining up as Stiller's best friend/voice of reason. He'll help complicate the would-be robbery when he takes a firm stance against it. Judd Hirsch will play an unspecified role in the film. Let's just assume he'll play an old school New Yorker. Or a cop. Or a guy who looks like a Cookie Puss ice cream cake.
The resemblance is quite haunting. (via /Film)
I know, I know, more Harry Potter stuff, but it's always trending and Daddy needs pageviews. Today I have for you a Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows featurette that looks back at young, impressionable Harry and forward at mature, constantly yelling Harry. The raising of his voice means he's no longer taking sh*t from anyone. I'm also certain that wand is a metaphor for his penis, or something.
Anyhoos, I'm glad the series continues to get darker as it progresses. Tis a shame it's all coming to an end next year, though. And if you think you're sad, take a moment to consider the Warner Bros. execs. Harry Potter raked in a bona fide billion dollars annually. Batman only keeps that water tower half-full.
Go behind the scenes after the jump…
At some point in the new Saw flick, Gina Holden will be chained to a giant metal death machine. How she gets there, whether she survives, and how convincingly she plays the nuanced role of “hot girl in mortal peril” remain to be seen. In any case, though, we're pretty sure she’ll look good doing it.
A word from Gina: "I just loved performing. I wanted to my whole life."
More pics of Gina after the jump…
The original Planet of the Apes rode on the then-groundbreaking makeup effects and a shocker ending. The 2001 “re-imagining” tried to right on action and special effects. The latest version of the Apes story is going to live or die on pure acting. Andy Serkis is playing Caesar, the chimpanzee who learns to talk and may or may not rise to dominate humans. Spoiler alert, the movie’s called Rise of the Apes and it stars James Franco as… the human. (The part he was born to play, baby!)
More after the jump…
Warner Bros. has recently been getting all jazzed up about their Looney Tunes properties. The studio is producing new 3D shorts for the big screen, and Mike Myers has signed on to voice stinky, sexually aggressive skunk Pepe Le Pew. Now WB has bought a pitch for a film that centers on the ACME Warehouse, the outlet where Wile E. Coyote frequently shops.
There aren't many details about the Kevin and Dan Hageman pitch, but as you can tell from the above pic, there are plenty of products to explore. Of course, WB could instead decide to capitalize on the world's overwhelming fascination with the history of the anvil. A three hour documentary on the device most often used by animated characters to murder other animated characters would get butts in the seats, no question. (THR)
Ritual pre-concert round of Peek-a-boo.
And now for the part of the job I hate the most — having a hand in promoting Justin Bieber. But that's the job, and I knew that full well when I agreed to $4.25 an hour. Anyhow, the little sh*t and new "Punk'd" host is back with Never Say Never, a "biopic" about the time Justin filmed a concert in New York last month. This is mixed with behind the scenes footage, home movies, and interviews with his manager, who says only nice things for fear of being punched in the balls again.
You really did it Justin, even though "they" said you couldn't. Help yourself to a hard-earned juicebox.
Check out the trailer after the jump (if you want)…
Bit by bit, Disney is revealing more of the Daft Punk-composed soundtrack for the upcoming Tron Legacy. The unofficial campaign name is Operation: Tron Legacy Blue Balls, as I can only take so much teasing before it starts to get painful.
In this new music-centered trailer, footage you've already seen is backed with the new Daft Punk track, "Derezzed." We've heard "The Game Has Changed," which is more of a "getting pumped to enter an arena" track. "Derezzed" is a more of a "cut his f*cking head off with that light disc!" track. It bumps, yo.
Check out the trailer after the jump…
As anyone who has seen the Saw films will tell you, that Jigsaw guy is a real jerk. Once a successful engineer with a loving wife, John Kramer morphed into a sadistic serial killer after he was diagnosed with inoperable cancer. Talk about being self-absorbed. That’s called a YP, Jigsaw: your problem, not mine.
But regardless of how you feel about Jigsaw personally, you have to admit he’s a clever guy. Sure, maybe his traps (or “games”) are horribly cruel and unnecessarily elaborate, but damn it if they aren’t impressive. Honestly, when someone is wearing a reverse-bear trap on their mouth, it’s hard to look away. With that in mind, here are 10 of Jigsaw’s greatest traps. (Spoilers Ahead) Also, be sure and take our survey at the bottom to vote for YOUR favorite trap, and sound off in the comment section.
10. The Mausoleum Trap – Saw IV