Do you excel at hitting your friends in the nuts, and sticking things up your butt? If so, it makes you qualified to be a member of the Jackass crew. Johnny Knoxville and his Jackass 3D peeps are hosting the first Jackass 3D Prank Contest.
To enter, all you need to do is submit a description or drawing of your most outrageous prank to the official site. No video submissions will be accepted. If you win, you'll be flown out to shoot your prank with the cast of Jackass 3D. You can enter at the contest's site HERE.
Here's my submission:
Imagine Wee Man in the middle.
"You do not sink Liam Neeson's Battleship."
Liam Neeson may have missed out at the chance to play Abraham Lincoln, but he will be DAMNED if he misses the opportunity to work with Rihanna. Zeus has signed on to play an Admiral in Peter Berg's cuckoo-bananas film adaptation of the Hasbro board game.
More specifically, Neeson will play Admiral Shane, the father to Brooklyn Decker's character and future father-in-law to Taylor Kitsch (if you care about the soap opera aspects of Battleship). No word yet if the film will feature any Krakken releasing. (Deadline)
You Again might not be a Screen Junkies type of movie, but Sigourney Weaver will always be a SJ type of lady. If the Disney comedy is the excuse to…
Piranha 3D is a movie of the people. Especially people who have always wanted to see Jerry O'Connell have his wiener bitten off (you know who you are). Producers of the inevitable sequel want to stay in the good graces of the fans, so they are making Piranha 3D: Part Two an interactive movie.
That's right! You, Joe Q. Public, can decide which celebrity will be cast to meet a gory demise in the next film. There's no info yet on how to vote, so I'm going to walk out into Times Square and begin shouting "Gary Busey!!" If I do that long enough, two things may happen: 1) producers will receive my vote, 2) the real Gary Busey will show up before me. He's like a "Bewitched" character in that way. (NY Post)
"Hey guys, can I look?!"
The Disney animated feature Mulan slipped right under my pre-teen radar, but I've never heard a person sing its praises like one might for The Lion King or Pocahontas (JK! The animals don't even speak!). Jan De Bont, the director of Speed and Twister, must have been touched by it though. A few international producers are handing him over a boatload of cash to turn Mulan into a live action movie with Zhang Ziyi in the lead. De Bont already tackled Lara Croft, so he understands the intricacies of bad-ass female characters, and how to best battle robots in tombs. I'm sure this applies to Mulan.
If you need a brush up on your (Disney) history, the film tells the tale of "Hua Mulan, the legendary young heroine soldier who joins an all-male army." From my understanding, it wasn't an 80s comedy and Mulan wasn't a newspaper journalist trying to get a big promotion by exposing how gross guys are. (THR)
Alfonso Cuaron and Warner Bros have had a hard time finding a leading lady to anchor Gravity after Angelina Jolie has declared herself anti-Gravity twice. A slew of actresses including Rebecca Hall, Naomi Watts, Sandra Bullock, Marion Cottilard, Blake Lively, Sienna Miller, Abbie Cornish, Scarlett Johannson, Olivia Wilde, and Carey Mulligan have been approached for the role, but none have agreed to float at zero G's in a room full of Teamsters. Now, there's news that Natalie Portman may be buying a box of Dramamine.
A firm offer has gone out to the actress after early buzz about Black Swan has her on track for an Oscar. The belief is that if she can handle that challenging role, she's more than capable of carrying the unofficial Lost In Space sequel. (THR)
The class-acts over at FilmDrunk were kind enough to put together this montage of 20 classic movie farts, and boy is it a gas (keep your damn rimshot!). They're also quick to point out that three of the films are Academy Award winners. Note to future filmmakers: More poopy jokes!
Check out the toots after the jump…
Ridley Scott will make the Alien prequels even if he doesn't feel like it, if only to spite James Cameron. The director told the Independent that Cameron has raised the bar, and "he’s not going to get away with it." Dems sounds like fightin' words! Ridley was upset when he wasn't asked to make Aliens, and then Cameron came along and pissed in his soup. Except Cameron's piss, arguably, improved the franchise. Now Ridley wants to piss back with even better piss.
"The film will be really tough, really nasty… It's the dark side of the moon. We are talking about gods and engineers. Engineers of space. And were the aliens designed as a form of biological warfare? Or biology that would go in and clean up a planet?"
You had me at "engineers of space." If these movies focusing on The Space Jockey of the first Alien film never happen, I'm pitching "Engineers of Space" to the The History Channel. I'm certain the title alone will land me a production deal.
Meanwhile, The Playlist dug up an interview that Gemma Arterton did with the Sunday Times in which she says, "Ridley Scott saw Alice Creed and he loved it. He wants me to meet for Aliens: The Remake, or something." As you can tell by her attention to detail, Arterton is watching this project like hawk. Only time will tell if she could be the new Ripley. Ridley first has to take time off from poking his Cameron voodoo doll to meet with her. (CinemaBlend)
While doing my daily rounds of visiting every site on the Internet, I came across pictures of Rooney Mara in costume as Lisbeth Salander over at RooneyMara.net. The pics show a leather-clad Mara riding a motorbike while sporting short black hair.
Rooney landed the role in David Fincher's adaptation after facing fierce competition. Every young actress in Hollywood was clamoring to test for the part. And now that we've seen the first pics, I can say that between the pale skin, pouty expression, and spunky, black hair, Frank Dillane was robbed.
Check out more pics after the jump…
In this new clip from Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps, Gordon Gecko (Michael Douglas) and Bretton Woods (Josh Brolin) get all up in each others' business practices. When Gecko takes Bretton to task for his sub-primes, you know it's on like 4:59PM on the floor of the Stock Exchange. My brow gets sweaty just thinking of these two ruthless businessmen discussing market liquidity. You have to build up to that kind of conflict, though.
Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps crashes into theaters September 24th.
Check out the financial disses after the jump…
How could someone so young cut a nose off to spite a face?
Here are your Labor Day Weekend links.
10 Movie Trailers That Are Nothing Like The Actual Movies (ModernMan)
Our Favorite Romantic-Comedy Scene Stealers (Moviefone)
He Got Severed! Video Captures Fan Fight At U.S. Open (Asylum)
10 Things Women Can Do That Men Can't (Ranker)
25 Pics Of Hot Chicks With Knives (HolyTaco)
Machete? More Like Meh-chete (FilmDrunk)
Eye Candy With Eyepatches (Maxim)
Horribly Disappointing Floyd Mayweather Rant (BarStoolSports)
A Tribute To Girls And Their Guns (EgoTV)
Kiefer Sutherland Career Assessment (Pajiba)
9 Prominent Actors Unexpectedly And Quickly Killed Off In Movies (Unreality)
Nyger Morgan Brawl Is Even More Exciting In Japanese! (TotalProSports)
Machete Star In Every Movie Ever Made (Smosh)
9 Ugly Shirts To Wear At A Party (BroBible)
JWoww Infested With Bed Bugs (CelebJihad)
CP Represents On Hammer Fisted's Latest Podcast (CagePotato)
Montana Fishburne's Further Porn Debut Talk (PopEater)
Volvo C70 T5 Review (MadeMan)
Safety first. Hello Kitty second.
Steven Soderbergh is gearing up to offend China. The director has decided to dredge up bad SARS memories by setting his next film Contagion in Hong Kong. Kate Winslet, Jude Law, Matt Damon, and Laurence Fishburne have all signed up to come down with a case of the Hong Kong Achooeys in the virus gone wild drama. Hong Kong native Josie Ho has also signed on to play the sister of "Patient Zero" aka that asshole that never buys his own Chapstick. (THR)
Olivia Thirlby, 2008's It Girl (non-Kat Dennings version), will be joining Karl Urban when he shoves his gavel up bad guys' butts in the Judge Dredd reboot. Thirlby is best known for her turns in Juno and The Wackness. It looks like she's attempting to break into bigger, less-shoe gazey projects between this and The Darkest Hour. In other words, momma wants a pool.
For Dredd, she will play a young telepath who shadows Dredd on his beat. C'mon, do you really need to read minds to know where he's sticking that gavel? (Up butts.) (Variety)
Your band's new album cover.
I don't want to get you too excited this early in the morning, but Liam Neeson is going to take on wolves. Bradley Cooper jumped ship on Joe Carnahan's forthcoming directorial effort The Grey, and his A-Team co-star Neeson has taken his place. The film is about "a group of Alaska pipeline workers whose plane crash lands on their way back ome from a remote worksite. The workers then find themselves hunted by a pack of wolves."
Are you kidding me? When can I buy my ticket?! Liam Neeson mopping the floor with Frenchmen in Taken was tantilizing enough, but now he's actually going head-to-head with wolves? Mother Nature better shave her legs 'cause she's about to get f*cked. (/Film)
Emma Bell has been cast as the protagonist that pisses off Death in 5nal Destination or Final Destination 5 or Final De5tination or whatever they decide to call it. Which begs the question, who is Emma Bell? Well, she's best known as the girl who gets stuck in the chairlift in Frozen, and is also a castmember in Frank Darabont's highly-anticipated "The Walking Dead." For Destination, she'll be the one suffering from dizzy spells that show her oblique clues about which grisly death will befall David Koechner. That and she'll be the one who points her thumb at Tony Todd's returning mortician character and asks the audience, "What's that guy's deal? Cuckoo!!" (JoBlo)
M. Night Shyamalan claims the question fans ask him the most is if he is doing a sequel to Unbreakable. He also claims that at one point, he had a great idea for said sequel ready to go. Unfortunately, that idea was broken up and sold for scrap.
“It was such a cool idea for a villain, and it was actually originally in the script for 'Unbreakable,' and it was too much. There were too many villains, so I pulled this villain out and was like, 'I'll make this the second flick.'” He even started developing it into a sequel story. But now he says, “the third 'Night Chronicles' movie is what would have been the sequel [to 'Unbreakable']. So now I need to come up with a new idea.”
Recently, Shyamalan's had a streak of box-office flops, so it'd be easy to join the crowd of detractors. At the moment, it also happens to be 3:28 AM, so I'm more than happy to take the easy route.
If he's making flop after flop after flop, but fans are still expressing interest in Unbreakable 2, why in the world would he cannibalize his "great idea" for a sequel and make it into a film that no one cares about? That makes about as much sense as the plot from Signs. God killed the preacher's wife so her last words could inspire her brother-in-law to kill Aliens with a baseball bat and some friggen water? Why not just skip the wife killing and not send the damn aliens in the first place, god? "Swing away" my ass. (MTV via Cinema Blend)
Look at that grin on April O'Neil's face.
Will 'Machete' Ignite a Firestorm Over Its Immigration Stance? (Moviefone)
New 'Rap Map' Shows Geography Of Great Moments In Rap (Asylum)
13 Most Epic Police FAILS Of All Time (Ranker)
The Upside Of Being Homeless (HolyTaco)
I Thought Sean Penn Was In Haiti? (FilmDrunk)
It's 9.02.10 Day (Maxim)
Only In Japan Can You Take Your Virtual Girlfriend On Honeymoons (BarStoolSports)
A Gallery Of Banksy Wall Art (EgoTV)
We've Got To Fight The Powers That Be (Pajiba)
Executing The Rocket Jump In Real Life (Unreality)
9 Colleges With The Hottest Sports Fans (TotalProSports)
Road Rage Revenge (Smosh)
10 Great 'Minute To Win-It'- Inspired Drinking Games (BroBible)
Blake Lively Epic Cleavage Pics (CelebJihad)
James 'Half-a-Milly' Toney Gets The Last Laugh (CagePotato)
See Olivia Munn's Sexy GQ Photo Shoot (PopEater)
Samsung Galaxy Tab (MadeMan)
Q&A With French Badass Actor Vincent Cassel (Moviehopping)
I'm not a big fan of ruining movies for myself by watching clips, but I'm glad I sucked it up and hit play on this new one for Let Me In. Now I for seriously can't wait to check out this film at Fantastic Fest. I know a few of you out there are pissed that they remade the Swedish version, but c'mon, it's got Richard Jenkins in it. The man can do no wrong. Except for Say It Isn't So, and even in that film he's covered in bees WAY better than Nic Cage ever was.
Take a look at the clip after the jump and see if it changes your skeptical mind…
Last week, Screen Junkies and Break scored some sweet, sweet hangin' time with Machete stars Danny Trejo and Michelle Rodriguez, and director Robert Rodriguez, at an international press junket. FX guru and filmmaker Freddie W. put together a scene that starts out simple enough with everyone taking some bad-ass pics for the cameras, but then quickly takes a dark turn once Michelle's strength is brought into question. In my opinion, this is the way all press junkets should end. Although, I'm sure the hotel staff would vehemently disagree.
Check out the video below…
Scarves = Happiness.
In an effort to collect a handful of "Free Sex" coupons, Jon Hamm could star in his long time girlfriend Jennifer Westfeldt's next directorial effort, Friends With Kids. They haven't officially kissed on it, but a deal is reportedly in the works. The names Anne Hathaway and Kristen Wiig are also floating around the project, but again, no spit handshakes.
Another thing that isn't known is what the film is about, except that it'll probably focus on someone's friends who have kids. They could be young kids. They could be old kids. "Friends" might used in a sarcastic way, so that it really mean enemies. Same goes for kids. The movie could be about enemies with adults. But one thing is for certain — if it happens, Jon Hamm will be in it. (ThePlaylist)
On Monday, we reported that Lauren German, Kristin Kreuk, and Paula Patton were in contention for the sexy female role in Mission: Impossible 4. Well Paula Patton has emerged victorious! The Deja Vu star will play a young operative who works with Ethan Hunt.
Tom Cruise will reprise his role as Hunt, but Paramount doesn't want to make a big deal about his involvement. He was the cat's meow back when the first movie launched, but now he's that guy you dread having lunch with simply to maintain the relationship. Maybe M:I 4 director Brad Bird can elevate his status back to Top Gun levels. That is if co-star Jeremy Renner doesn't steal the spotlight. Oh how that would anger Cruise so. Couch-stomping mad. (Deadline)
"Follow me if you want to live!!!"
There's a video going around the Internet that depicts a young woman gleefully throwing newborn puppies into a raging river. Seeing as the Internet is comprised of 80% adorable puppies, that sh*t just don't fly. Michael Bay took time out of his busy schedule of writing terse letters, to write a terse letter damning the puppy-thrower, while placing a bounty on her head:
There is a disturbing video going around the news outlets. It’s a video of blonde young woman in a red sweatshirt casually tossing squealing puppies into the fast-moving river one by one.
Michael Bay has informed me that he is offering a $50,000 reward for information leading to the arrest and successful prosecution of the woman in the red sweatshirt and the person who shot this act of cruelty.
And now it's time to pay up. 4chan was already on the case and managed to gather everything there is to know about the young woman, including her name, phone number, address, school address, email address, Facebook profile, and Volleyball team info (?). Good job, Internet. Too bad 4chan users are anonymous and can't outright accept the money. Michael Bay, you can leave that $50K in the newspaper box on the northeast corner of Wilshire Blvd and N. Arnaz Drive. It will make its way into the right hands.
As if that weren't a sweet enough payout, I would like to up the ante by personally offering a heartfelt pat on the back to the first person who ties the culprits to a chair and force feeds them a bag of cement mix. (WWTDD)
We all know that millions of young minds will be permanently damaged by Michael Bay's Transformers 3. But usually, the causalities don't start rolling in until after the film hits theaters. However, it seems this installment of the Transformers trilogy has already claimed its first victim.
Authorities say the "Transformers 3" crew was filming late Wednesday in the Chicago suburb of Hammond, Ind., using several vehicles and drivers. Police say something went wrong and an object went through the windshield of a car, hitting the driver. In a statement, police said the vehicle kept going for a mile before stopping. Police did not release the driver's name. The person was airlifted to a hospital.
For the love of God, the film hasn't even reached post production, and people are already being hospitalized. Although based on the description, this might make for one hell of a 3D experience. Even so, we wish the extra a speedy recovery, and pray for an end to the senseless cycle of violence that is the Transformers franchise. (HitFix)
If there's one thing he loves more than stealing babies, it's cleaning.
Ghostbust these links.
10 Beloved Movies That Started As Box-Office Disappointments (Moviefone)
Documentary Spotlights Lost Sport Of Pigeon-Racing (Asylum)
14 Most Brutal College Hazing Rituals (Ranker)
Things We Learned At The 2010 Fan Expo (HolyTaco)
Paul Hogan Is The Australian Wesley Snipes (FilmDrunk)
The Briefcase Bar (Maxim)
Women Dies After Getting Stuck IN Ex-Boyfriend's Chimney (BarStoolSports)
Fad-Tastic! The Starter Jacket (EgoTV)
Your Suffering Will Be Legendary With The 'Hellraiser' Series (Pajiba)
Scott Pilgrim Versus Everything (Unreality)
9 Most Embarrassing Sports Celebrity Endorsements (TotalProSports)
24 Hilarious Cubicle Pranks (Smosh)
5 Keys To Hooking Up With Incoming Freshmen (BroBible)
Cheryl Tweedy Official 2011 Calendar (CelebJihad)
At The Crossroads In His Career, BJ Penn Is Back In Training Again (CagePotato)
New MILF Pics Of Demi Moore (PopEater)
Musical iCupholders (MadeMan)
"That dog musta been sick."
Here's the first look from Peter Berg's perplexing Battleship adaptation of Rihanna dressed like one of those guys that hang out at the mall trying to recruit poor people into combat. I still find it really odd that she joined the cast, which includes Taylor Kitsch, Brooklyn Decker, and Alexander Skarsgard. Then again, I find it really odd this movie is being made. But what strikes me as most odd is this thing standing next to Rihanna. Didn't E.T. dress up as that once?
Zach Galifianakis's brother, Seth, takes over for him in this episode of "Between Two Ferns" with guest Sean Penn. The video confirms my belief that Penn is incapable of smiling, and possibly even feeling joy. Maybe I'm wrong though. Maybe the blooper reel is full of Penn rolling on the floor laughing his ass off and his stoic persona is built through the magic of editing. But there's no denying that the ferns look scared sh*tless.
Check out the interview after the jump…
Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson's slow transformation into Brendan Fraser is nearly complete. The wrestler-turned-actor (Walking Tall, Southland Tales, Chef Boyardee commercials) has signed on as the lead in the upcoming Journey To The Center Of Earth sequel. Many expected that Josh Hutcherson would make the leap to leading man for Journey 2: The Mysterious Island, but it seems that he's riding shotgun this time around.
In the film, Johnson plays Hutcherson's mom's boyfriend who tags along for the exhilirating adventure when the boy travels to an unchartered island to find his missing grandfather. Seems like a lot of trouble. Did you check the local A&P, Josh? That's the first place I look when my granddad wanders. (THR)
Quick! Crawl to the hatch!
Here are today's links.
Look! It's Young Ryan Seacrest Acting On ' Beverly Hills 90210' (TVSquad)
Soon The MTA Will Be Watching You (Asylum)
Companies With The Worst Customer Service (Ranker)
25 Mascot Fail Videos (HolyTaco)
Piranha 3D Producer Issues Response To James Cameron (FilmDrunk)
21 Awesomely Pimped Out Golf Carts (Maxim)
Four Loko Bursting On The Scene (BarStoolSports)
7 Celebrity Sex Tapes That I Would Actually Buy (EgoTV)
Viagra For Dick Jokes: The Enduring Of Judd Apatow (Pajiba)
Leonardo The Crybaby (Unreality)
9 Of The Greatest College Stadiums For Tailgating (TotalProSports)
25 Awesome Motorcycle Helmets (Smosh)
Coed College Dorms And Bathrooms (BroBible)
Taylor Lautner Responds To Push Up Challenge (CelebJihad)
Jens Pulver's New Movie Is Going To have Grown Men Crying (CagePotato)
Is Lauryn Hill's Return For The Better? (PopEater)
Skydive Everest (MadeMan)
Claiming dominion over all things aquatic or 3D, James Cameron went all king of the world on Piranha 3D last week, and now the film's producer Mark Canton (who looks like what would happen if Phil Spector banged Albert Brooks) is showing his teeth in response. And he raises a few damn good points! Though, they are lengthy points. Here's just a few favorites, but I encourage you to check out the entire response after jump. Go on wit yo' bad self, Mark Canton:
“Mr. Cameron, who singles himself out to be a visionary of movie-making, seems to have a small vision regarding any motion pictures that are not his own. It is amazing that in the movie-making process – which is certainly a team sport – that Cameron consistently celebrates himself out as though he is a team of one. His comments are ridiculous, self-serving and insulting to those of us who are not caught up in serving his ego and his rhetoric."
"Shame on you for thinking that genre movies and the real maestros like Roger Corman and his collaborators are any less auteur or impactful in the history of cinema than you. Martin Scorcese made Boxcar Bertha at the beginning of his career. And Francis Ford Coppola made Dimentia [sic] 13 back in 1963. And those are just a few examples of the talented and successful filmmakers whose roots are in genre films. Who are you to impugn any genre film or its creators?"
And now… fighting words:
“Jim, are you kidding or what? First of all, let’s start by you accepting the fact that you were the original director of PIRANHA 2 and you were fired."
(Runs around in exaggerated circle playfully slapping own face a la early Martin Lawrence)
No. He. Didn't. Don't MAKE a James Cameron take off his earrings!!
Full letter after the jump…
Watch out Andrew WK. It looks like Conan the Barbarian is getting into the partying hard business. These set photos from Marcus Nispel's remake show Jason Momoa's Conan cutting loose like some weird Charlie Sheen/Tom Sizemore hybrid partybeast. Mead-chugging. Shirtless piggyback rides. Bare breasts. This must be how Hugh Hefner partied when he was a boy in ancient Greece.
Momoa is an animal! Could we have a contender for that Belushi biopic?
Check out the Cimmerian orgy after the jump…