Interviewing Robert Downey Jr. is always fun. He’s completely unpredictable, but everything he says sounds brilliant even though he just made it up. So for Due Date, he was on a press conference panel with his costars, Zach Galifianakis and Michelle Monaghan, his director Todd Phillips and the screenwriters, but he stole the show. After the jump are the most outrageous things Downey said at this press junket.

The Big One

Journalists seem to think it’s funny to make sex jokes. So Michelle Monaghan plays a pregnant woman in stirrups, let’s all make uneasy references to her actual love life. Downey stole their thunder. “This isn't Weird Science,” he said. “She's not Kelly LeBrock. Everybody doesn't f*ck the way that they used to. Let’s be civil about this.” This was the comment that even made Downey apologize to his publicist. “Alan Nierob, I'm sorry. Clean that sh*t up later.”

A bold claim

After a very articulate description of his irritable character and his process for playing such a guy, Downey made a bold claim. “You could say this is a two dimensional commercial comedy,” he said. “I feel that this is the second greatest story ever told.” One person actually asked him what the first greatest was. “Oh, come on!” Downey exclaimed. Lest he be misquoted, he explained, “The Bible.”

Making his own sex jokes

See above about the press making insinuations about costars. Downey got in some playful jabs about lighthearted adultery. “I don't want to offend our spouses but I'd love to have a baby with Michelle,” he joked. “Yeah, in preparation for the character so I missed the shot to do it. I should've tried it nine months ago.”

Been there, done that

So Due Date is about two guys trying to get home in a series of travel misadventure. That recalls fond memories of Planes, Trains and Automobiles and other road movies. Downey credited his costar with a much more obscure reference. “Michelle was saying Wages of Fear quite a bit, too. Didn't you say something about that? 'I hope you guys don't blow up the studio.'”

I’ve got your Richard Attenborough right here

Downey has worked with Sir Richard, Oliver Stone, Guy Ritchie, John Hughes, and Robert Altman. He puts Todd Phillips at the top of the list. “I think Todd is the best director that I've ever worked with, bar none,” he said. “I've never come up against anyone who is so confident and so thoughtful and so spontaneous that it's not even daunting. He's just in a class by himself.”

Pay no attention to the answer to the question

Some other report can go into the details of how Downey and Phillips improvised a scene where he spits in a dog’s face. The cool part is Downey’s conclusion to the story. “There was a question there somewhere but I'm sure whatever I said was far more entertaining.”

Due Date opens Nov. 5.