It seems to be an annual tradition that some piece of memorabilia from Back to the Future II gets dangled in front of us, perhaps solely to test the public’s gullibility. (Spoiler alert: It’s really high.)
Yet again, Nike is offering up their high tops complete with power laces, the perfect device for people who love shoes, but lack the dexterity, strength, time, or inclination to tie them?
Why wouldn’t they just use velcro? F*ck you, that’s why. Velcro is a sad, sad substitute for the mighty power lace.
Anyway, Nike designer Tinker Hatfield, whose name suggests his family might be in some sort of Appalachian feud, answered his own question in delightfully whimsical fashion. ““Are we gonna see power laces in 2015? To that I say yes!” said the one they call Tinker.
To that I say, “Nike, you get off on being withholding, and I have been hurt too many times. Now give me my Black and Decker food rehydrator. I’m starving.”