New Reality Show Will Combine My Two Least-Favorite Things: DJs And Simon Cowell

Thursday, January 26 by
This is happening. This is real.  

Think you can press “play” on a MacBook better than anyone else in the country?

Then you just might have what it takes to be America’s Got DJ! (or whatever the shit they’re gonna call it).

Simon Cowell, Will Smith, and Jada Pinkett-Smith are teaming up to bring the country that DJ talent search show that no one asked for. On it, contestants will be graded on a number of skills, including:

  • Ability to rock back and forth because you’re so into the music you’re playing
  • Ability to rock back and forth with one headphone held to your ear because you’re so into the music you’re playing, but also gotta cue up the next song
  • Ability to kill the one decent song you’ve played all goddamn night after 25 seconds
  • Ability to carry a sense of entitlement even though your skill set was mechanized like 60 years ago
  • Ability to discuss plans for this year’s Coachella

Cowell has Tweeted that he will not be judging this show, but rather producing. Sorry Simon Cowell fans:

“Excited to announce new DJ show. I will NOT be judging this show. Excited to be working with@jadapsmith. Stay tuned!”

My prediction is that this show, if it gets picked up, will replace Jersey Shore, and before that, Rock of Love, as America‘s premiere source of camp entertainment.

Work them 1s and 2s, asshats!

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