Michael Bay is calling bullsh*t on all of the following: TMZ reported yesterday that two men claimed they "got into a scuffle with a man they claim is Bay's private security guard" on Augus 24, 2008. (Yes, that's two years ago and they're just having a problem with it now) They were tossed out of a nightclub, at which time Bay's drunk security guard pistol whipped the living crap out of them, breaking teeth and bones, before fleeing the scene. Bay took time out from his busy kabooming schedule on Transformers 3 to set the record straight on his website. Check out Bay's response after the jump…

Well, I finished shooting on TF3 for the day today and come to read utter bullsh*t on TMZ.

I guess the guys suing me today read the Forbes Magazine issue about my paychecks. They claim that I had some drunk security guards packin’ heat and they pistol whipped some guys out cold. Sounds like a fun character for a movie but unfortunately I don’t live that large. I’ve never had a security guard in my entire life, nor have heard or ever been to a club called ‘Kiss.’

And the date they allege—August 24 , 2008—I was in another state shooting my movie. So where does that leave their silly lawyers?

And come to think of it, why would anyone have drunk security guards in LA watchin’ over when I’m off in some lonely desert staying at the Best Western??

Funny how knuckleheads like this make sh*t up.

Michael Bay

P.S. While I’m not making fun of someone getting hurt, they certainly should of done some serious recon about these thugs before they wasted the $335 to file a claim in Superior court.

Yep, that's a burn. Get all your facts straight, fellas, before you try to nab some of that sweet Bay cheddar. He was busy having P.A.s whipped at a Best Western in the desert when you claim he was having you pistol whipped. Like the man himself said, you're REAL "knuckleheads." I hope it hurts that he went there. (Movieline)