Mark Wahlberg says a lot of unintentionally funny stuff. Anything he says is unintentionally funny if you remember to say it in his voice. So when he says the new Transformers film, which he’s starring in, will be “bigger and better than the other three combined,” a writer with editorial authority decides, “Yes. This is news.”
And then you wonder what kind of calculator can sum up the bigness and goodness of three old Transformers.
“For moviegoers all over the world, I guarantee this will take it up a notch.”
HOW BIG IS A NOTCH, MARK?
Transformers is “probably the most iconic franchise in movie history.”
ONLY PLANET OF THE APES COMES CLOSE, MR. WAHLBERG.
“This will be the biggest movie of 2014.”
Sadly, that’s probably true.