's mastermind David Chase is making a movie that's reportedly quasi-biographical. His "dad" will be played by James Gandolfini, so you need a mother who can really stand-up to Tony Soprano's super macho, loud-mouthed, duck-feeding bullshit. Also, the movie takes place in the 1960s, when everybody's racist, so this actress should also be racist. We fired up our own Cast-o-Matic 9000 and came up with the same result that Chase's did: comedian Lisa Lampanelli.

Lampanelli recently revealed on The Howard Stern Show that she was cast as the David Chase character's mom, perhaps somewhere between a joke about black people loving food stamps and her explanation for why it's okay for her to make jokes about black people loving food stamps. Rumored to be called The Twylight Zones, we hear that it's about guys who form a rock band in the 60s, and discover the 60s music revolution. It's a story that's never been told before. Oh wait, the exact opposite of that last sentence is true.

Still, if it's "The Sopranos" meets Almost Famous, I'm there. And I'd better be there, if I don't want a visit from any "waste management consultants." (/Film)