Let’s See How This Plays Out: Shaq Enrolls In Film School

Tuesday, August 16 by
He should really work on his Macarena before pursuing film.  

Sure, he can miss 60% of his free throws, but will Shaquille O’Neal be capable of taking theatergoers on a compelling journey, ultimately making them fell richer for the experience? Having walked away from basketball this off-season and been revoked of his gig as a deputy sherrif for using the “N-word,” Shaq has enrolled in the Filmmaking Conservatory at Universal Studios.

I am genuinely intrigued by the prospect of Shaq becoming an auteur. I don’t think his films will be “good,” per se, but the guy has a pretty great, goofy sense of humor, so I’d be more inclined to catch the next Shaq flick than whatever Christopher Guest and his legions ooze out this time around.

The behind the scenes footage would be uh-mazing.

Shaq (behind the camera, mumbling): “Don’t just sit there during this love making scene. Don’t just pretend you’re having an orgasm. Pretend you’re having a Shaq-gasm.”

Shaq (on the set of his Che Guevera biopic, mumbling): “Instead of trying to organize a revolution, imagine you’re orchestrating a Shaq-volution. You know, like a coup de Shaq.”

Shaq (getting irritated with Christian Bale, mumbling): “I don’t care how you learned to convey your emotions with the Method technique. That’s NOT how I did it in Kazaam.”

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