Korean Company Finds New ‘Fourth Dimension’ In Which To Assault Moviegoers

Friday, June 17 by
 

A good rule of thumb: If America has something that’s annoying, chances are that same thing exists in Asia, where it is 12X as annoying and has existed for 25 years.

For instance, while we were sitting on our cookie dough asses, learning how to train dragons in 3D, Korean firm CJ 4D Plex was finding new ways to not only give audiences concentration migraines, but bombard them with smells and touch them without their permission.

The fourth “D” in their name has to do less with dimensions and more with senses. Namely, the senses of touch and smell. Naturally, the first film in which these in-theater technologies were tested was Avatar. Seats shook, the theater smelled like gunpowder, audiences were sprayed with water, and lights flashed constantly.

It sounds like this firm is getting dangerously close to recreating my version of hell in movie theaters the world over. I get upset often enough at the movies that I don’t need to get douched with water in order to really seal the deal. Spray my date instead.

The only application that really turns me on here is perhaps the juxtaposition of these devices in dramas.

Justin Timberlake: “A million dollars isn’t cool. You know what’s cool? A billion dol-*water spray*, *smell of burning hair*, *intense seat vibration*, blinding strobe light*

Don’t read anything racist into this image. I’m sure it sprays people of all ethnicities equally.

 

I seriously can’t believe this is a thing. In the re-release of Leaving Las Vegas, the seat in front of you will spray you with gin.

 

I get the feeling that the theaters will rarely share good smells with audiences. “Here’s the smell of the pie that Jason Biggs fucks!” It will more likely of what the bucket of vomit smelled like when Brad Pitt gags at the beginning of Se7en. What a time to be alive.

Do you like this story?

More about...