We know that Joaquin Phoenix loves beards, so it makes sense that he's attracted to a project about a man with a legendary beard: motherfreakin' Abraham Lincoln. Besides having grown a cool beard, I'm a little confused about the rest of Lincoln's biography. My history teachers said he was one of the greatest American Presidents, others say he was an expert vampire hunter.

The actor-turned-rapper-turned-actor-once-again is the lead choice to play Honest Abe's mentor in Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter, an adaptation of Seth Grahame-Smith's goofvel (a novel that's just a big ol' goof). His first bit of advice for the President? Quit being President to start a career as a vampire hunter, then tell everyone it was just a weird joke.

Lincoln is set to be played by actor-elect Benjamin Walker and Tim Burton will produce. (Deadline)