That headline may have caused some heart palpitations, so let me break it down for you. Quentin Tarantino's Jackie Brown was based on the Elmore Leonard novel 1992 Rum Punch. Rum Punch utilized many of the same characters as Elmore Leonard's 1978 novel The Switch, which features younger versions of both the Samuel L. Jackson and Robert DeNiro characters. Those younger characters will be played by Mos Def and John Hawkes, but I won't tell you who's playing what role because I get off on being witholding.

Hang on. I'm not done clarifying.

Jennifer Aniston and Dennis Quaid are likely going to star in the film based on The Switch, which is now titled simply Switch, because Jennifer Aniston was already in a movie called The Switch.

Ok. Now a few words on the plot. Switch will focus on a husband (Quaid) who refuses to pay the ransom for his wife (Aniston) who he doesn't want back. Aniston teams up with the kidnappers for revenge.

I regret there isn't more room for snark in this article, but I just had to cram this thing so full of facts and clarifications. Soon, though. Soon.