In an effort to cap the massive BP oil spill, the federal government has called in none other than director James Cameron. Because of his expertise with "underwater filming and remote vehicle technology," Cameron, along with scientists and other experts, met with officials from the Environmental Protection Agency to discuss ways of stopping the colossal leak.

Suggestions included sending a remote-controled robot back in time to kill the President of BP's mother before he was conceived and creating genetically engineered oil-human hybrid bodies which could then be used to interact with the spill and gain its trust.

The federal government hasn't been this desperate since they sent that team of oil riggers into space to blow up that asteroid. But hey, I guess it worked out in the end. (HitFix)